what's the best....

Ol' Boy: Think I'll go find me a tall blonde and a short scotch.

Me: How 'bout a tall scotch and a short blonde?

Ol' Boy: You'll do.

your face, or mine.

Years ago when I was about 18, I was in a shop, and this guy who was working there said to me "You remind me of my first wife."

"Oh" I said.

"Yes," he said "but I've never been married."

YUK!

When I was pregnant with my first child, I was working in a resturant. A guy asked me out. I pointed to my belly and said, "Doesn't this tell you I'm not available?"

He said, "No. That just tells me you fool around!"

ROFL.

Mandy-Jane said:

Years ago when I was about 18, I was in a shop, and this guy who was working there said to me "You remind me of my first wife."

"Oh" I said.

"Yes," he said "but I've never been married."

YUK!

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Now, we all know that "If I told you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?" is old and cliched.

So freshen it up some "If I said you had a nice body, would you take your shirt off and dance around a little?"

The worst one I overheard (and I swear on my life this was overheard, not one I said):

"You have nice tits."

I was having drinks once with a buddy, a real ladies' man, when he asked the bartender, "So, Baby, what time do you get off?"

She said, "I get off all the time, but not with jerks like you."

How can I love you if you don't lie down?

Make like AT& T and let your fingers do the walkin'!

Tampax to Playtex:
We're not #1, but we're still up there!

An effective approach that is popular with some women is when a man pulls out his trouser pockets and allows them to flop forward, and asks, "Ever kiss a bunny between the ears?"

Silver King said:

An effective approach that is popular with some women is when a man pulls out his trouser pockets and allows them to flop forward, and asks, "Ever kiss a bunny between the ears?"

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mum23 said:

Grab your coat you've pulled!!!
Or my husbands fav. How do you like your eggs in the morning? I like mine fertilized.

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What's your favourite sauce? Tomato, brown or daddy?

"Hey baby, wanna go back to my place for a little while? My father-in-law won't be up to pray for another four hours."

(From my buddy Jon who was living with his wife at his in-laws, and his father-in-law would get up and pray at five a.m. every day.)

Silver King said:

An effective approach that is popular with some women is when a man pulls out his trouser pockets and allows them to flop forward, and asks, "Ever kiss a bunny between the ears?"

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I should try that one. Or I can say "ever kiss Pinocchio as a donkey"?

Have you got a mirror in your pocket 'cause I can see myself in your knickers.

This one really happened to me:

Guy at bar: Have you got any Italian in you?

Me: Yes.

Guy at bar: Oh. *slopes off to try his luck elsewhere*

Mine, and it actually worked:

Shake her hand. (I have soft hands)
"And I give great massages."

maestrowork said:

I should try that one. Or I can say "ever kiss Pinocchio as a donkey"?

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Mate, something tells me you don't need chat up lines.

"You're not going home with me."
"Really, and why is that?"
"Cuz I'm going home with you."

seun said:

Mate, something tells me you don't need chat up lines.

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Yeah, she doesn't give a discount for chat-up lines.

I am SO lost in this thread!! So I s'pose I better get the hell out right? By by!