Would you write about THAT?

maestrowork · Aug 9, 2007

After reading about the novelist being tried for murder described in his book...

I've posted in my blog on writers, how we often than not expose a big part of ourselves even in the guise of writing "just another commercial fiction." How do you feel about that? Do you feel sheepish when people begin to suspect or believe what they read is about you and your life, even when you tell them it's just your imagination? Do you feel naked in front of your readers? Do you feel like you've told them more about yourself than you're comfortable with in real life?

And between letting them into your twisted mind, would you have written about real experiences, be they drug use, abuse, illness, mental issues, sex, relationships, suicides, etc. that are often private in real life? How do you feel about that?

I remember when I was contemplating writing a story that begins with a suicide attempt, a friend voiced her concern. She wanted to make sure if I was okay. I laughed, of course, for I have never ever even thought about committing suicide myself. But I have friends who killed themselves or are/were suicidal.

And then there are people who've read my book and told me, "Is this you and your story? I sure hope not because he's quite an asshole." I always chuckle at the idea that my readers would connect the dots between my characters and me. On the other hand, I have to admit that I also put a lot of my soul into the story. It came from a collaboration of my imaginations, philosophies, thoughts, emotions, and certain personal experiences. While the story is not autobiographical, I can't deny that it has many pieces of me in it.

So I wonder, did I expose too much about myself?

How do writers juggle between pouring their soul out, telling their inner thoughts, and keeping their privacy?

Sassee · Aug 9, 2007

I'm not finished with mine yet, but pieces of myself have definitely fallen into the story. Some were intentional, some were not. If I get to the editing part and realize I've written too much of myself into the character I'll probably tweak some things. I certainly don't want people to think I've inserted ME as the main character (though that's hard to do when writing in first person). Some of the things she does I wouldn't dream of doing! Other times, I wish I had her courage.

One of my friends has been reading my WIP and she did say at the beginning of it, "this is basically you, right?" I didn't quite know how to answer that. It was one of those "well yeah, but not really" sort of answers, so I just sort of smirked and let her think what she would. Again, I have a feeling that writing in first person may seal my fate with readers thinking this character is me.

I think, though, that authors sort of HAVE to draw from experience, otherwise characters wouldn't come across as being realistic. For instance, you can tell when an author has experienced bitterness, anger, or any other strong emotion, because they portray it well on paper. You can tell when they're an expert at something and when they're not (like guns, horses, computers, etc). What I'm leery about is portraying the more controversial things and having someone accuse me of supporting/denouncing them (whichever is worse, in their minds) when it's really just the character's opinion and not mine.

That's crazy though, that Bala portrayed murder so well he was accused of it... I don't think I'd ever want to be *that* realistic.

For your question - "How do writers juggle between pouring their soul out, telling their inner thoughts, and keeping their privacy?"

My answer - Very carefully.

WordGypsy · Aug 9, 2007

I was in a bad relationship awhile ago and moved away from him. That was over 3 years ago. Abuse comes up in my story and it's about 15 times worse than anything the ex ever dreamed of doing to me but now my friends are all atwitter wanting to know what *REALLY* happened. It is good to know they care though!

My female MC is a lot like how I see myself, not necessarily how I am. People read it as me, which bugged me at first. But how many people who read it are actually going to know me and know what parts of me are in her? (enter sarcastic comment from scarletpeaches here

)

auntybug · Aug 9, 2007

I was going to do the story of my life - then I saw "Riding in cars w/ Boys"....and it was already done! @#!$

reigningcatsndogs · Aug 9, 2007

There's a lot of me in what I write. I get a chuckle out of people trying to guess at what is and what isn't me, and I confirm nor deny any of it. One of my pet peeves was when, in high school, my english teachers would ask for feedback about what the author of a book was thinking when he wrote a certain paragrah, and then have the audacity to tell the student that their thoughts were wrong. What insight does the teacher have that allows them to make that judgment? I really believe that some of what the author writes is personal and he chooses his words accordingly. He also chooses words that create speculation, that deliberately mislead, that tease about who he is, that are diametrically opposed to what he is, and even some that he just picked out of the thesaurus. In high school, it used to offend and annoy me. Now, it's all rather amusing.

scarletpeaches · Aug 9, 2007

If people ask me, "Is that character you?" I just look at them like they're stupid and say, "No. It's made up."

And I let them think that.

RLB · Aug 9, 2007

My thirteen-year-old MC is very much like I was at that age. I just let people believe I've matured since then. Sometimes it works.

benbradley · Aug 9, 2007

scarletpeaches said:
If people ask me, "Is that character you?" I just look at them like they're stupid and say, "No. It's made up."

And I let them think that.

Or how's this for a comeback: "No. It's you."

davids · Aug 9, 2007

Interesting thread Ray-there is something to be said for Pen names I think-for example-Ohhh who would write that crazy shit-damn I gotta read some more of that-Christ I hope I never run into the crazy assed Mother who wrote this-lemme get a drink-gotta read more!!!!

Salem · Aug 9, 2007

I never really thought about it that way before so I thought carefully about the two stories I have written so far and neither of them have any of "me" in them. My characters always seem to be very different than I am. Maybe my writing is a way to experience life in a different way rather than deal with things in my past. Something to ponder.

Azraelsbane · Aug 9, 2007

I don't bother holding back. I pour my soul into my writing, and there are a lot of similarities between myself and one of my MCs. It's one of the reasons I'm so hesitant to query. If I didn't put so much of myself into my writing, then I wouldn't care if it was rejected, or some editor/reviewer ripped it to shreds. For the past decade and a half I've just enjoyed the writing process, though I've always hoped that one day my writing could provide an escape for others.

It's a problem I should likely work on, but when I try writing about something that doesn't draw on who I am to facilitate the story, then my writing is flat and horrible.

Tracy · Aug 9, 2007

Good thread, Ray.

Absolutely I feel exposed and naked when I write. The details of my characters' traumas may not (indeed, have not) happened to me, but the emotions of fear and hurt and rejection and sadness and not being loved etc surely have - and they're the experiences I draw on when I write those emotions for my characters. And that therefore IS me exposed.

One thing I'm convinced about is that writers show so much courage in so many ways - and this is one of the biggest ways.

Kate Thornton · Aug 9, 2007

Good topic! I usually base some characters on myself - after all, the research there is already done - but mostly I try to create believable characters in situations where the reader can at least suspend their disbelief for a while. I steer clear of personal situations that might be recognized as too-true-to-my-life because I prefer to write fiction.

maestrowork · Aug 9, 2007

Barbarique said:
I don't see how it's possible to create believably alive characters unless you imbue them with at least some of your own life experiences. If you simply engineer them like some sort of literary Erector Set construct, what you'll likely end up with is a Frankenbook... without the animative lightning.

But do you feel exposed? Do you feel weird and naked to let strangers into your mind and take a glimpse at your experiences? Do you worry about what they know about you?

I know as an actor, I have a problem separating myself from the characters I'm playing. It's a good thing, but at the same time, I do feel exposed as a person, and I have a hard time -- usually -- letting go and be free. I find myself doing much better in makeup and costumes, playing a character that is SO unlike myself (say, I played this gruff, dumb, oversexed gardener once in a musical, and I felt really free playing the role). But if I'm playing someone similar to myself, I get really self-conscious.

Sometimes I feel the same way about my writing. The closer it is to my core, the more self-aware I become. I feel so much freer when I write about characters that are very unlike me (say, an angry, murderous husband) -- I am able to use my experience and emotions to create this character, but I don't feel like he's an extension of me, and I feel much freer to explore the character.

Does it make sense?

Spiny Norman · Aug 9, 2007

I think it was Stephen King that said a lot of writers turn out to be pretty good actors, or at least liars.

When I write a character I feel like it's coming more from a persona than anything, like an on-stage act that I can put on and dance around in. For example, I post segmented stories about humorous events in my life on another forum - this has led my readers to believe that I'm a misanthroptic, deviant drunk who, in their words, is sort of like "a real life version of Ford Prefect."

No. I am not like that. I am simply writing about a series of events from this point of view in order to make them more amusing.

Is this lying? Well, maybe so. I am certainly not trying to make myself better in their eyes. In real life I am fairly quiet, I don't like crowds and though I drink I rarely do so more than once or twice a week and excess has become a rare thing. I don't smoke and I exercise frequently.

I do the same for my characters. The way the world looks from their eyes is the same as it is from mine for a little while, and I think it's the same for all authors - then you wake up, wash them out of your hair, brush their dust out of your pants, and you go and say hello and how'dye do to your wife and kids and friends and neighbors. As yourself, mind - not as them.

To quote someone else, you are them, but they are not you.

I usually put on my Zen robes when I talk like this, but what I'm saying is that characters can be both you stripping yourself bare and your armor all at once. Like taking off your mask and putting a bag on your head at the same time. It's a little part of your heart singing its own loud solo that's never been heard before, and while it is a part of your heart it's still only a part.

Azraelsbane · Aug 9, 2007

maestrowork said:
But do you feel exposed? Do you feel weird and naked to let strangers into your mind and take a glimpse at your experiences? Do you worry about what they know about you?

I feel exposed, but I don't have anything to worry in the legal action area. I'm far too square for that. I think jaywalking is as illegal as I've ever gotten, and I'm in a wheelchair, so I might even be able to fight that one in court. :tongue

RG570 · Aug 9, 2007

This is one of my biggest hangups about writing. I do put much of myself into it, but at the same time almost feel like it's cheating, like somehow I should be pulling totally different people out of thin air.

I'm terrified that should I be published, readers will assume I wrote about myself. I mean I am, essentially, but even having beta readers go over my work feels like being caught masturbating.

Summonere · Aug 9, 2007

I think the notion that writers are their stories is hogwash of the same kind as believing that David Copperfield or David Blaine possess real magical powers, or that Sir Anthony Hopkins is really a cannibalistic killer just because he played one in some movies (convincingly, too, I might add).

It's a trick. It's all just a trick that involves creating verisimilitude out of the tools at your disposal. Often these tools are ourselves, the little-examined and least-picked over aspects of personality that, if turned just the right way, amplified, altered, shown glimmering in the right kind of light, can be stark raving mad or beautiful.

It's the writer's job to trick his audience into believing that the bad guys are really bad and that the good guys are really good, and that all these words dedicated to their exploits are important enough to pay for, and to read.

That's not to say that writers don't reveal something of themselves in their work, or even to deny that some writers reveal much more about themselves that's true than isn't, but rather to point out that what we think we see in a work isn't so much the real and true author standing behind it, but the fun-house mirror reflection of him.

As to writing about real-life experiences, and, would I?

Yep. Done.

How do writers juggle between pouring their soul out, telling their inner thoughts, and keeping their privacy?

I don't worry about it much. No one believes me anyway. As to privacy, that private island in the Azores really helps.

maestrowork · Aug 9, 2007

Do you think writers are by and large (closeted) exhibitionists?

Azraelsbane · Aug 9, 2007

maestrowork said:
Do you think writers are by and large (closeted) exhibitionists?

My immediate response to this would be yes. I think a lot of authors are closeted exhibitionists with a lack of social skills. That's the first thing that comes to mind when thinking of myself, but then I realize that I've done hundreds of hours of public speaking and shmoozing with the media in my younger years, so... I'm probably wrong.

Then again, maybe my social skills are just deteriorating because I'm writing too much. ::shrug::

maestrowork · Aug 9, 2007

Actually I'm more social than I ever was. I used to be very shy and a wall flower, and now I've kind of "come out of my shell." Of course, it was due to my previous job as a consultant -- I learned a lot about people skills, public speaking, teamwork, management, etc. that requires a more outgoing, extroverted personality. Still, I think there's something about writing that is very "exhibitionistic" in some ways.

III · Aug 9, 2007

I learned long ago through writing songs that the more transparent I was, the more satisfied I felt about the entire process. I feel the same way about writing. My personal failings, my humor, my inner vocabulary find their expression in my stories and characters. The quote I hear most often after a friend reads my books is "that was SO Jay".

I agree that it does feel like standing naked in front of a crowd. I guess any real artistic expression feels that way. But I think the process helps us understand who we truly are.

Great topic, Ray.

Summonere · Aug 9, 2007

maestrowork said:
Do you think writers are by and large (closeted) exhibitionists?

Could be.

Or maybe they're closet egotists. After all, isn't asking someone to buy your made-up stuff kind of egotistical?

Azraelsbane · Aug 9, 2007

Summonere said:
Could be.

Or maybe they're closet egotists. After all, isn't asking someone to buy your made-up stuff kind of egotistical?

I've always seen it as, if someone's willing to buy your made-up stuff, you're simply a good liar.

Summonere · Aug 9, 2007

Azraelsbane said:
I've always seen it as, if someone's willing to buy your made-up stuff, you're simply a good liar.

And I always figure that if I ever get to be a good enough liar, I can become a politician.

Would you write about THAT?

Fear the Death Ray

Momma Wolf

teh other evil broad

Too sad for words.

bundled

It's a doggy dog world

query-impaired

Agony is defeat

Still Happy to be Here. Or Anywhere

Fear the Death Ray

Agony is defeat

Fear the Death Ray

Agony is defeat

Fear the Death Ray

rockin the suburbs

Agony is defeat