You read it folks. Get the kinks out, time to get all those mistakes and bad sentences out in one, horrible, query letter.
Disclaimer: I got this idea from another website I'd been browsing, and thought it might be fun to do here, too. (I checked around, and I don't think there's already a thread on this, if there is, I beg pardon. I didn't think there was.)
Basically,
to whoever can write the worst one. I thought it might be nice also, to highlight why you wouldn't do some of the things you put in your query (for some of the less outrageous things, so that if someone realizes they have that exact thing in their query, they can figure out why we're saying it belongs in the "worst-query" pile.)
K, I'm a little tired tonight, so mine's not super, but here it is:
To Whom it May Concern,
My name is Jilly Betts, and I'm writing 'cause I want you to be my agent. I'm a totally good writer (I've got loads of recommendations from family members and teachers...I even won a contest once in fifth grade).
So, my story is about this girl whose ten and she goes to live with her father after a really bad divorce and realizes that she's a fairy princess and there's this horrible betrayal thing that happens, and she learns this secret, and then the story ends with this marriage. (but it's totally not what you're thinking!)
You've got to read this, because I know someone will eventually pick it up and you'll regret not being this person. So go on, request it!
Love ya,
Jilly
Disclaimer: I got this idea from another website I'd been browsing, and thought it might be fun to do here, too. (I checked around, and I don't think there's already a thread on this, if there is, I beg pardon. I didn't think there was.)
Basically,
to whoever can write the worst one. I thought it might be nice also, to highlight why you wouldn't do some of the things you put in your query (for some of the less outrageous things, so that if someone realizes they have that exact thing in their query, they can figure out why we're saying it belongs in the "worst-query" pile.) K, I'm a little tired tonight, so mine's not super, but here it is:
To Whom it May Concern,
My name is Jilly Betts, and I'm writing 'cause I want you to be my agent. I'm a totally good writer (I've got loads of recommendations from family members and teachers...I even won a contest once in fifth grade).
So, my story is about this girl whose ten and she goes to live with her father after a really bad divorce and realizes that she's a fairy princess and there's this horrible betrayal thing that happens, and she learns this secret, and then the story ends with this marriage. (but it's totally not what you're thinking!)
You've got to read this, because I know someone will eventually pick it up and you'll regret not being this person. So go on, request it!
Love ya,
Jilly
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I just thought you'd wanna read my book. It's almost done! I spent twelve years writing it (mostly after schole, but sometimes while I was babysitting for my paren'ts friends the Dobersons who live down the street from us. There kids are SOOOOO cute!) and my mom and the Dobersons both think it's better than Steven King and you know he sells alot of books. It's basicaly a story about Dave, who decides at forty that he's sick of his life and wants to change, so he divorces his wife and leaves that whore and his fucking brats to go drive cross country. Mayham insues!!! It's a really funny book set in 1988 from fall to slightly after fall. You will love it cuz you're forty too! I read your blog. That joke you posted on last friday was funny! My mom thought so too! I've put the book on here as an attachment cuz I know you are already wanting to read it so I saved you the trouble 
