Hey, I didn't get a chance to introduce myself with the first thread I posted before it was shut down with with almost 400 views and 36 posts in less than two days. I'm a Traffic Magnet. There may be a few of you that have actually heard of Vanhoven in heated discussions from other screenwriting websites. Obviously I have a extensive background in screenwriting that I use to start dicussions on the boards that immediately draw responses and views to a thread. At first, the moderators and especially the owner of the site, love me. They say, who the hell is this Vanhoven, he got 500 hits and 50 responses in that thread the other day? Did you read any of it, the moderator responds. No, says the owner. Pretty interesting stuff. I'm very good at bringing in the traffic, which is why I'm called a traffic magnet. But with any open discussion with different viewpoints and opinions flying around you're bound to get conflict. This is where my self-destructive persona comes into play, that often puts the modertors into a dilema. Christ, did you see what he said to that chick, yeah that's way over the line. Yeah, but our membership is up 20% over the last month. Give him a warning--but oh don't make it sound like you're mad at him, okay. And then the line is shifted, where exactly is the line that you step over to get booted from the site? I can't believe he said that. Yeah, but it's Vanhoven, the sites been thriving. Where do you balance conflict and possible flame wars against doubling the membership to your site in a short span? Just something to think about. However, my posts are funny and interesting so take them for what they are worth.
Self-Destructive Traffic Magnet
- Thread starter Vanhoven
- Start date
dpaterso
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Welcome to Absolute Write.
The #1 rule around here is "respect your fellow writer." Whenever threads go wrong 'cause folks start sniping at each other, they tend to get locked.
There's a point where funny and interesting can suddenly become unfunny and tedious. This could be one of them. Eh, everybody's a critic.
-Derek
The #1 rule around here is "respect your fellow writer." Whenever threads go wrong 'cause folks start sniping at each other, they tend to get locked.
There's a point where funny and interesting can suddenly become unfunny and tedious. This could be one of them. Eh, everybody's a critic.
-Derek
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Hmm.. kinda of a odd intro.. but welcome. As I read your post the first thing that came to mind was the scene from the clint eastwood movie Heartbreak Ridge.. I'll just say, "RECON!!!!!"
That's good to know. So few people straighten us out on such matters.
You sound very much like somebody who does "business" with Anthony SanFillipo
I guess if you can't be a chick magnet, being a traffic magnet is the next best thing. I'm perplexed nonetheless.
Generally speaking, when I'm a newcomer to a web community, I look at all of the forum names before deciding where to post.
A post like yours here doesn't happen to have one single iota of value as a screenwriting post, so it's difficult to believe that you paid any attention to your surroundings. If you had, you'd maybe have posted this one in the "new people saying howdy" forum.
For the record, 500 hits and 50 posts in a single thread in a day is a slow thread for AW. There are true messageboarding professionals here, and you're pure bush-league.
Look me up when you hit the majors.
A post like yours here doesn't happen to have one single iota of value as a screenwriting post, so it's difficult to believe that you paid any attention to your surroundings. If you had, you'd maybe have posted this one in the "new people saying howdy" forum.
For the record, 500 hits and 50 posts in a single thread in a day is a slow thread for AW. There are true messageboarding professionals here, and you're pure bush-league.
Look me up when you hit the majors.
I've never heard of 'Vanhoven'. You profess to an extensive background in screenwriting. Have you written any screenplays I might have heard of? I'm dying to find out!
How far would your self-destructive persona go? I mean, like, would you ever self-destruct, do you think? It'd make for a good script!
BTW - your post was not funny. Really. Not even a titter. From me or my dog. It was however interesting in its display of self-aggrandisement, which I understand is normally linked to an inferiority or persecution complex.
dpaterso
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Glad to see everyone is welcoming a fellow screenwriter to the board! Keep up the good work!
-Derek
-Derek
Dear God, not another Gordon Jerome...er, I mean welcome. Please do not take on the "god" complex. We aren't here for hits, we aren't here for attention, we are here to learn and help each other.
Want to contribute to that? Then please, by all means. But please don't be another spotlight poster who's only concern is "Look at me."
Want to contribute to that? Then please, by all means. But please don't be another spotlight poster who's only concern is "Look at me."
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Ah D,
you know we only attack those we love!
Warmest AW welcome Van.
I look forward to more of your incredibly funny posts and to watching the excitement your traffic magnet personality brings to this site.
First drink's on me.
you know we only attack those we love!
Warmest AW welcome Van.
I look forward to more of your incredibly funny posts and to watching the excitement your traffic magnet personality brings to this site.
First drink's on me.
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Laced of course.
I have a wonderful new home picked out. A nice, happy place where the doctors all talk very softly and the jackets are comfortable.
Bottoms up.
I have a wonderful new home picked out. A nice, happy place where the doctors all talk very softly and the jackets are comfortable.
Bottoms up.
If you re-read the original post and pretend that Owen Wilson is saying it, it's much more amusing. There's something about that drawl.
So .... the OP is basically saying:
"Hi! I am a poster who is guaranteed to cause controversy in this forum community! I will offend other posters! I will upset other posters! And I fully admit that I suffer from an unstable personality which can be best described as self-destructive!"
Welcome!
*backs away slowly*
"Hi! I am a poster who is guaranteed to cause controversy in this forum community! I will offend other posters! I will upset other posters! And I fully admit that I suffer from an unstable personality which can be best described as self-destructive!"
Welcome!
*backs away slowly*
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hmm....I don't normally pop in here that much, but I was told there was something really funny in here....
Oh.
*big grin* Welcome to AW--hope you have as much fun here as everyone else does. Of course, I LURVE self-destructive traffic magnets so I bid you a most cordial welcome!
Oh.
*big grin* Welcome to AW--hope you have as much fun here as everyone else does. Of course, I LURVE self-destructive traffic magnets so I bid you a most cordial welcome!
The best strategy might be to create your own board. Being a "traffic magnet" you could pay for your bandwidth with Google AdSense alone.
Buy Vbulletin here.
Find a good web host.
You won't have to worry about being banned because it will be your board.
Because of the huge influx of traffic you will be on Big Boards in no time.
When you headline on Foxnews, CNN, & the BBC for over 24 straight hours then sell your board and retire.
The question I have is why didn't you think of that?
Buy Vbulletin here.
Find a good web host.
You won't have to worry about being banned because it will be your board.
Because of the huge influx of traffic you will be on Big Boards in no time.
When you headline on Foxnews, CNN, & the BBC for over 24 straight hours then sell your board and retire.
The question I have is why didn't you think of that?
Joe270
Banned
Welcome, Van. I like the fast moving threads, so long as they stay cool. This is the only board I have ever belonged to (I don't count Gather, because I just did that for the contest.), and I have found this to be a wonderful community.
But they won't hesitate to jump your **** if you mess up, which I have done occationally, as dpat can attest.
We have a few guys and gals who can keep up. I'll keep a weather eye out for you and be sure to include Rob, BoP, Haskins, Tour d F, Haggis, Dawno, OFG, Blacbird, Spooky, and Aruna in on the fun. That should be a blast. Dclary, Plot, Soccer, Hill, davids, and Ice are already prepped I see. Dpat's always a great addition. I left out so many. Javili's pretty new, but he seems to hold his own quite well.
RT provides comic relief.
So this seems like a good start.
But they won't hesitate to jump your **** if you mess up, which I have done occationally, as dpat can attest.
We have a few guys and gals who can keep up. I'll keep a weather eye out for you and be sure to include Rob, BoP, Haskins, Tour d F, Haggis, Dawno, OFG, Blacbird, Spooky, and Aruna in on the fun. That should be a blast. Dclary, Plot, Soccer, Hill, davids, and Ice are already prepped I see. Dpat's always a great addition. I left out so many. Javili's pretty new, but he seems to hold his own quite well.
RT provides comic relief.
So this seems like a good start.
I think, for maximum effect, OP's post could be read aloud in the style of Ben Stiller in either Zoolander or Dodgeball.
Try it as William Shatner! Excellent fun.