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Mania
07-17-2007, 09:06 PM
Well, my MC is about to have twins (one of each sex) and I'm wondering on the relationship between twins. I gather that they're suppose to have a connection between them, but I don't just want to write that. Can anyone help, please?

reenkam
07-17-2007, 09:13 PM
I think that when they're babies they seem to have a better understanding that they're related than babies do with other siblings. Like if one's crying, you can sit the other with the first and they stop. They'll watch each other, but maybe all babies do that. And I think that one's more active than the other. Noticably.

That's all I can think of right now about the twins I've seen/been around. I hop it helped a little. :)

PattiTheWicked
07-17-2007, 09:15 PM
I've got boy/girl twins that are 7 1/2. They have a very interesting dynamic. They're always together -- even when they're mad at each other (which is rare), they always seem to gravitate back to one another.

they'll spend the whole day ranting about how they want to play with someone else, and then I take them to the pool after dinner, a dozen of their friends are there, and who do they play with? Each other.

They've always been very close. They slept in the same crib until they were about a year old, when Breanna began using Zac as a stepstool. They still like to cuddle and lay on top of each other, there's a lot of physical contact between them as well as emotional. Even though their personalities are quite different, they're very much alike in many ways too.

As toddlers, they didn't really do the 'twin speak' thing that people always talked about, but there was a lot of nonverbal communication between them. And when Zac began speaking months before Breanna did, he'd often tell me what she wanted, acting as a translator... when she really hadn't said anything yet.

Any questions you have about specifics, I'm happy to answer.

Mania
07-17-2007, 09:24 PM
Thanks, both pieces of information have helped a lot! Btw, nice picture, Patti.

Um, one thing that is going to happen at a later date is that they're going to be torn apart. I'm sort of wondering what that would do to them.

Ol' Fashioned Girl
07-17-2007, 09:26 PM
Ol' Boy is half of a set of identical twins. The Evil Twin, that would be Ol' Boy's Brother - has been a li'l ray of hell in everyone's life since the beginning. He tried to kill Ol' Boy more than once as they were growing up - and I do mean 'kill', not being facetious at all. He literally embezelled $9000 from his Alzheimer-afflicted father. He's left a string of bad relationships from A to Z. Sweetness and light it ain't.

PattiTheWicked
07-17-2007, 09:45 PM
Thanks, both pieces of information have helped a lot! Btw, nice picture, Patti.

Um, one thing that is going to happen at a later date is that they're going to be torn apart. I'm sort of wondering what that would do to them.

One day last week, Zac slept over at a friend's house -- he had been gone for most of Tuesday and all of Wednesday. When he came home, Breanna pounced on him in a big bear hug, and said, "When you were gone my heart didn't feel as warm as it's supposed to."

I nearly cried, it was so sweet. And that was just a DAY of them being apart.

reenkam
07-17-2007, 09:49 PM
Um, one thing that is going to happen at a later date is that they're going to be torn apart. I'm sort of wondering what that would do to them.

I remember reading somewhere...or watching on TV maybe, that if you take twins apart when they're babies they won't really notice, but then they do notice when you put them back together later. Even if they don't look the same (which would obviously be noticeable...)

Summonere
07-17-2007, 09:52 PM
Well, my MC is about to have twins (one of each sex) and I'm wondering on the relationship between twins. I gather that they're suppose to have a connection between them, but I don't just want to write that. Can anyone help, please?

I'm a twin. What kind of stuff you lookin for?

Azure Skye
07-17-2007, 09:53 PM
My boyfriend is a twin and he told me that in the past the one couldn't take a shit without the other one feeling the urge to go. A little crass but there you have it.

Also, something odd happened. His family had their family reunion earlier this month and my bf and his twin both showed up wearing the same pair of shoes. They don't see each other but a few times a year and shoes is never a topic of conversation. Everyone commented how odd it was.

If you have any specific questions I'll ask him for you.

MarkEsq
07-17-2007, 09:54 PM
I have boy-girl twins, they are 2 1/2 years old. I would echo what Patti says, they are always together, always wanting to play with each other even when there are other kids around. When we moved them to big beds (from cribs) recently, we went in to check on them afore our bed time and Henry had crawled into Natalie's bed and they were sleeping with their arms around each other. Never in my life seen anything sweeter.

As far as parting them, I'd also echo her comments. If my kids are apart for more than five minutes it's an endless stream of:
"Where's Henry?"
"At the store with mummy."
"Oh. Where's Henry?"
"I just told you, darling, he's at the store with mummy."
"At the store?"
"Yes."
"Ok. Where's Henry?"

Meanwhile my wife is enduring endless repetitions of "Where's Natalie?" It's actually very cute (for a while:)).
I can't imagine separating them permanently, even semi-permanently. It would do unimaginable things to them.

johnnysannie
07-17-2007, 10:53 PM
I have twin daughters now age eleven and twins run in my family (back many generations). They prefer to be together - even though once they started school, they often bicker endlessly although not to the twins, they'll say "but we're not fighting! If they are seperate for a short time, they will go looking for one another.

As small kids they wanted to dress alike, even to the point if one girl spilled juice on her blouse, both would change clothes but they're a little more individual in their fashion tastes now.

A close friend who has girl/boy twins (now grown) said his kids also would appear to fight but when called on it would also say that they were not.

If you have specific questions, PM me and I'll do my best to answer. As I said, I have twins and many twins in my family.

Summonere
07-17-2007, 11:19 PM
Here's something:

Mum said that when we were kids we would switch off which of us was the more outgoing. Sometimes it was me. Sometimes it was my brother.

Here's something else:

One of the most annoying things, as a kid, was to be referred to as "the twins" as opposed to being referred to by name, as if something of no substance, twin-hood, was more interesting and substantial than either one of us. This kind of reference went on for a very long time. Also of curiosity was that I wasn't interesting to others all by myself, but when that other kid who looked like me was around, then suddenly I became of interest -- never mind that I hadn't changed in any way.

Another annoyance was this question: "Why don't you dress alike?" Or this statement, "You two should dress alike." Again, this seemed a strangeness on the part of those making such comments, as if they'd rather deal with their version of who I should be -- part of pair -- as opposed to the person I was.

In other words, sure, I had a twin (still do, in fact), but in those early years that seemed to me no different than anyone else having a brother. In fact, it also used to strike me as quite strange that people would claim not to be able to tell which of us was which. The differences seemed quiet apparent to me (and in fact have become greater with time).

Another strange notion that others kept having was that my brother and I should switch classes from time to time if, say, I were better at English and he at math, we could swap and thus capitalize upon each other's strengths. Along the same lines was the constantly expressed notion that we should similarly pull a fast one on our girlfriends. Ha, ha, wouldn't that be fun? Well, no. One doesn't abuse one's superpowers, after all.

Speaking of superpowers, another annoying thing about people's perception of this twin biz is that whole sympathetic reflex thing: if I pinch you, will the other one feel pain? Answer: No. You pinch me, you'll likely get pinched back so you can feel your own pain. ;)

That said, here's a story: Brother was in a car wreck late one night whilst driving home with his fiancée. Flipped that car over and spun it around a few times. Both were wearing seat belts. No real harm done (except to the bouncing car, and one black couch, which had fallen off the back of a truck and into the middle of the road, without warning, right in front of them, which was the whole cause of the wreck*). Anyway ... I woke up. In the morning. Late. Had a strangely unsettled feeling. That's it. No shazam! of sudden realization. No psychic impressions. (Maybe it was too many beans the night before.)

Now, having said all that, when I visit my sister in law and my brother for lunch or dinner, sis'n law often will sometimes offer a dish that I decline. When I do that, she'll invariably laugh and say, "That's what I thought. Your brother won't eat it, either." Conversely, she'll often say of other things, "If he'll eat it, I know you will."

Meanwhile, the two of them had a kid three years ago, a little girl, and for the longest time she'd look back and forth between us, my brother and I, when were all together, as if she wasn't sure which of us was which.

I guess maybe some things don't change, after all.

As to the fighting mentioned by others, yep, brother and I did that a lot as kids, rolling around in the grass, kicking and pummeling. Alarmed sis would often fetch the parents, afraid we were hurting each other. Nope. We'd just sit up with grass in our hair and mud on our faces and wonder what all the fuss was about.

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Public Service Announcement: Wear your frikkin seatbelts.

PattiTheWicked
07-17-2007, 11:58 PM
I do remember one time when my twinks were about a year old -- we were visiting someone who had one of those musical mirrors that you give babies so they can watch themselves. Z&B were fascinated by the music, and kept holding the mirror on their heads so they could listen. The person whose house we were at commented on it, saying "Most kids like to look at themselves in the mirror."

I said, "That's because they think it's another baby. These two have been looking at another baby since they were born."

And then when they hit four, Breanna discovered How Pretty I Am In A Mirror, and things haven't been the same since.

Star
07-18-2007, 12:41 AM
Awww, these stories are sooo cute. I don't need to know about twins, but keep 'em coming! :)

KCH
07-18-2007, 05:52 AM
I'm an identical twin. A few months ago I was going through old things and found a comment on a second-grade progress report from the teacher. She wrote to my parents how fascinating it was that we rarely used singular pronouns. Not I, me, or my. It was always "we", "us", "our." She hadn't encountered that before, (even though most of the children in the Catholic school had lots of siblings.)

Made me smile. We'll always be bestest friends.

De Lady
07-18-2007, 08:23 PM
My grand babies are boy/girl twins, now 9 months old. They are just starting to relate to each other. The boy is always crawling over to his sister, which annoys her no end because he takes her toys and lays on top of her. Much like in the womb, she was always squished in a corner with him bouncing all over the place. She is just beginning to crawl herself and may be looking for an escape route. I am sure as they get older they will relate with each other much better.

Mania
07-18-2007, 08:55 PM
This is all really helpful, thanks! :)

When they grow older and into their teens, how are they emotionally attached? I don't know if that makes any sense what so ever, but I was just thinking about it.

Bufty
07-19-2007, 01:27 AM
I'm male and have a twin sister. The general family atmosphere and how one is brought up must have some influence, but I always had a rapport with my twin, and with each of my other two sisters.

It is often the case that one twin may feel more for the other - I can't tell but when I boxed at school and received a black eye, she cried!!

We're now 70 and are still close no matter how long the interval is between meetings. But then I'm also close to my other sister.

Being a twin is special - can't put my finger on it - it's just 'something' between us.

Hope that helps a tad.

Summonere
07-19-2007, 07:17 PM
This is all really helpful, thanks! :)

When they grow older and into their teens, how are they emotionally attached? I don't know if that makes any sense what so ever, but I was just thinking about it.

Best friends. Even if you have another best friend, that best friend isn't as much a friend as your twin. In fact, the super-best-friend thing is probably why the so-called “twin-speak” develops.

Brother and I have seen and read virtually all of the same movies, TV shows, and books. Thus we can make references to their various bits and pieces in context of our shared culture -- which is not only knowledge of those various things, but also what we thought of them -- and the casual bystander won't know what we're talking about. Oh, they may recognize the references, but not the context. Thus our conversations can sometimes occur in that sort of coded language. Though someone overhearing would understand the words (here's an easy one: Spock's brain, Captain Pike), they wouldn't get the meaning. Thus sis'n law sometimes rolls her eyes when she doesn't get what brother and I are yukking it up about.

This kind of coded language isn't any different than what the rest of the world does, by the way, since we all have our own uncommon spin on common references, but between twins, it's probably a deeper and more nuanced kind of vocabulary.

And, as teenagers, it's possible that we spent more time talking that way than it seems...

gwendy85
07-27-2007, 02:42 AM
I actually have a fraternal twin, and yeah, he's the guy, I'm, of course, the girl. We're best friends right off the bat. We used to do everything together, and I became somewhat of a tomboy back when I was a little girl. As we grew, we drifted just a tad bit apart, but remain best friends. We play video games together and share the same interests in DVDs and movies (anime and such). Thing is, girls are more sensitive, so I'm the one who senses what my twin is thinking. I could predict where he is at a moment when my parents are looking for him, and when he's in pain (emotional, he never shows it), it is I who cry for him, as though he passed on his burden to me. That's the part which really sucks though.

other than that, having a fraternal twin is just plain great, 'coz not everyone can say they have one :D