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Plot Device
07-17-2007, 04:23 AM
Give me your worst.


::ETA::

Tell me about the misadventures that have befallen or been dealt out by any and every bridesmaid, before during and after the wedding. Especially if a bridesmaid was a pain in arse to the bride.

Rosamund
07-17-2007, 05:53 PM
About the wedding, or beforehand? :D

I had a bride who threw a major temper tantrum when she saw her flowers on the morning of the wedding. They weren't exactly the way she had imagined them, so she screamed and cried and said she wasn't going to the church or getting married with such horrible flowers. Then she locked herself in her room.
The problem was easily fixed with a bit of florists wire, but that was one stressed lady.

I had another one who did something similar because she didn't like the way her hair had been done (it had been done exactly as she specified). We had to redo the entire hairstyle before she was happy. I spent the time thinking 'Couldn't you have told the hairdresser you had changed your mind in the first place?'

Then there was the bride who specified everything, but everything, about the bridesmaids' costumes, down to the colours and style of the make-up they wore and what sort of underwear they had to have.

Another bride, a rather large lady, decided that her wedding dress fit so snugly she didn't need the corset type underwear that compressed her torso so that we could get the dress doing up around her in the first place.

I once spent my time in the hairdressers sewing a wedding veil on to a comb so it could be placed in the bride's hair, then taking it off when the bride decided she didn't want her hair like that, then sewing it on again when the bride changed her mind, then taking it off ... you get the picture. At the end of it all, her hair wasn't where I was wanting to put the comb. :)

Then there was the bride who told us to lose weight for her wedding, the one that said we all had to grow our hair, the one that had to have us all in different heels so we were exactly the same height, the one that had to have us all wearing a colour that did not exist in bridesmaid dresses (so we spent much of our time searching for this mythical colour in dresses), the one that handed all the work for the wedding over to us and then yelled and screamed when we couldn't find what she wanted in the shops/tied bows in slightly different sizes on the order of service/put the decorations she had specified on the bonbonerie (she'd changed her mind, but hadn't bothered to tell us), etc and so forth.

Then there are the ones that use you as a chauffeur service (get up at 5am the next morning to drive people I don't know to the airport that's over an hour away? Sure, no problems); the ones that get cold feet and ring you twenty times in three days to say why they can't get married, and then accuse you of being unsupportive when you agree with them; the ones that ignore your food allergies because 'that's what I want for the reception'; the ones that use you as an unpaid babysitter for the kids during the cocktail-and-canapés reception; etc etc etc.

In my experience, bridesmaid dresses are always hideous and not flattering. The best man/usher is always someone you'd immigrate to avoid. They can never dance, and they always make horrible, innuendo-laden jokes.

I've spent a lot of time being a bridesmaid. Most brides are great, but some of them stress out over trivial things, and bridezilla does exist in various incarnations. :)

Hope these stories were what you wanted.

ink wench
07-17-2007, 09:04 PM
Have you checked out theknot.com? The women one that site have more melodrama in their lives than your average soap opera. *shudders* During the couple times I was brave enough to check out the forums, I got some great grist for future stories.

Plot Device
07-17-2007, 09:31 PM
Rosamund--those are all great BRIDE stories. Funny!!! Wow!

But what about the BRIDESMAIDS????? Have you any stories about the bridesmaids???

Plot Device
07-17-2007, 09:34 PM
Have you checked out theknot.com? The women one that site have more melodrama in their lives than your average soap opera. *shudders* During the couple times I was brave enough to check out the forums, I got some great grist for future stories.


Now that sounds promising! :)

Jersey Chick
07-17-2007, 09:39 PM
Wow - Those were some Bridezillas right there. I can honestly say that I've never had problems being a bridesmaid. The dresses weren't horrible, the brides weren't beeyotches. When it was my wedding, I tried to be as laid back as possible - I picked out a color (emerald green) and style that would flatter everyone because my bridesmaids ranging from tall and skinny to short and fat. I didn't care how they did their hair, or what height shoes they had (I did ask that they be dyed to match the dress though). I just wanted everyone to not hate me when it was over. ;)

johnnysannie
07-17-2007, 10:57 PM
One of my bridesmaids was going to be my then soon to be stepdaughter but she refused to
1. wear any kind of formal bridesmaid dress or dress of any kind
2. would not carry a bouquet of any kind
3. at the last minute - day of the wedding - refused to walk down the aisle at all.

Another bridesmaid wanted to tell me, the bride, how to do everything, criticized my hair, told me moments before I was going to walk down the aisle that I should not have worn a veil because I was - in her opinion - not a "veil person", and also looked at the video camera filming the wedding then stepped in front of it and blocked me from view for most of the actual vows.

She also - after my husband and I left for the honeymonn - packed up most of the remaining wedding cake, an uncut sheet cake we had in case we needed it, and tried to take all the silk flowers. She also tried to take my mother's heirloom (handmade by a great aunt way back when) lace tablecloth and punchbowl.

Jersey Chick
07-17-2007, 11:09 PM
Um... what is a veil person?

And she's still alive? You're very generous! :D

jennifer75
07-17-2007, 11:15 PM
I was a Jr. Bridesmaid (knotch up from flowergirl, one below Bridesmaid) when I was 13. I absolutely hated the experience. First off, I was not a girly girl, so wearing a pink lacy dress with pumps was not my idea of a fun afternoon. I was akward, boyish and beginning to "develop" so I was even more turned off at the idea of a dress with a low plungeline. Days after the event, having survived the day thank God, my grandfather felt the need to express his feelings on my new breasts and how well they looked in my dress. I was so embarrased. I couldn't believe he'd said it. It was just short of being felt up by your grandmother (thanks Molly).

RLB
07-18-2007, 12:56 AM
I have been a bridesmaid eight, count 'em, eight times.

Usually the most horrific thing about being a bridesmaid is spending a couple hundred bucks on dress you will never wear again (which is why when I got married, I took my bridemaids to Nordstrom and we picked out a dress they'd all wear again).

Then there was the time I had three weddings in four weeks. I was living in Detroit at the time and had to fly to Dallas, San Diego and Atlanta. Cost a fortune in airfare, hotel rooms, wedding presents, hair appointments and dresses.

But the most classic story was the wedding I was in where the bride wanted us to carry candles down the aisle instead of flowers. I was standing up at the front and bowed my head for a prayer in the ceremony. My long hair hit the burning candle and - whoosh- ignited. Without even thinking I clamped a hand over it to put it out. The rest of the ceremony I was surrounded by that awful, burning-hair smell.

True story.

Plot Device
07-18-2007, 03:31 AM
One of my bridesmaids was going to be my then soon to be stepdaughter but she refused to
1. wear any kind of formal bridesmaid dress or dress of any kind
2. would not carry a bouquet of any kind
3. at the last minute - day of the wedding - refused to walk down the aisle at all.

Another bridesmaid wanted to tell me, the bride, how to do everything, criticized my hair, told me moments before I was going to walk down the aisle that I should not have worn a veil because I was - in her opinion - not a "veil person", and also looked at the video camera filming the wedding then stepped in front of it and blocked me from view for most of the actual vows.

She also - after my husband and I left for the honeymonn - packed up most of the remaining wedding cake, an uncut sheet cake we had in case we needed it, and tried to take all the silk flowers. She also tried to take my mother's heirloom (handmade by a great aunt way back when) lace tablecloth and punchbowl.


Now THAT'S what I'm talking about!!!!! http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/icons/icon14.gif http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/icons/icon14.gif

Plot Device
07-18-2007, 03:37 AM
I have been a bridesmaid eight, count 'em, eight times.

Usually the most horrific thing about being a bridesmaid is spending a couple hundred bucks on dress you will never wear again (which is why when I got married, I took my bridemaids to Nordstrom and we picked out a dress they'd all wear again).

Then there was the time I had three weddings in four weeks. I was living in Detroit at the time and had to fly to Dallas, San Diego and Atlanta. Cost a fortune in airfare, hotel rooms, wedding presents, hair appointments and dresses.

But the most classic story was the wedding I was in where the bride wanted us to carry candles down the aisle instead of flowers. I was standing up at the front and bowed my head for a prayer in the ceremony. My long hair hit the burning candle and - whoosh- ignited. Without even thinking I clamped a hand over it to put it out. The rest of the ceremony I was surrounded by that awful, burning-hair smell.

True story.


You must be a popular girl!

Were you ever ONCE guilty of being the bridesmaid from hell during any of your 8 stints??

Plot Device
07-18-2007, 03:47 AM
I have been a bridesmaid twice. Both times I was asked by the bride to be the one to spend the night with her on the eve of the wedding to keep her calm and help her get it together on the morning of the wedding. That's because I was the nicey-nice while the other bridesmaids were petulant little divas.

I had a roommate in college who was a bridesmaid to one of her friends. And during the final three months before the wedding, I watched my roommate commit gaffe after gaffe of some of the most insensitive crimes against the bride. And the worst thing is she didn't even realize that was she was doing was wrong. I tried to tell my roommate that what she was doing wasn't right, but she wouldn't listen.

I had a co-worker at an office job a few years back who was getting married. She was a very sweet girl--absolutely golden heart. And she came to me almost every day at the office for months telling me in near tears about the latest horror stories concernig the behavior of her whiney, nasty, gossippy, lazy bridesmaids.

Saint Fool
07-18-2007, 03:51 AM
Hmm - my first time as a bridesmaid is my favorite story.

The girl before me has started down the aisle and the bride grabs my arm:

"I don't want to get married."

"What!?!?!?"

"I don't want to get married. My mother wants me to get married."

"Are you pregnant?"

"No!"

"If you want to get in my car and drive away, you're my best friend, I'll do it.But your mother will kill us."

Long pause.

Then the matron of honor shoves me through the door and I start down the aisle. She said the vows and I decided it was last minute nerves.

Two years later, they divorced.

All of my other bridesmaid's stories deal with horrible dresses (2) and ill-fitting shoes(1). Never buy half-price Walmart sandals so that your bridesmaids shoes will all be the same. "Those weren't tears of joy on our faces ... WE WERE IN PAIN!!!"

RLB
07-18-2007, 04:02 AM
You must be a popular girl!

Were you ever ONCE guilty of being the bridesmaid from hell during any of your 8 stints??

Well, there was the wedding I forgot to shave my armpits before. That was probably my most hellish behavior. It was an uncomfortable six hours of not raising my arms.

Generally I'm the helpful one that gets suckered into last minute errands.

JoNightshade
07-18-2007, 04:26 AM
I have never been a bridesmaid, but I have been married. :) I had a maid of honor, two bridesmaids, and one flower girl. We (my parents) paid for all of the dresses, which I understand is not traditional.

The maid of honor lived far away and wasn't there when me and the two other girls were picking out the bridesmaid dresses, so we had to guess at her size and send her the dress. She flipped out because she said it was "a tent." At this point it was too late to send for another one so we told her just to get it tailored. She insisted that it wouldn't be possible until finally I realized that she, being a college student, did not want to pay to have it taken in. So my mom wrote her a check and sent it and when she showed up the dress looked just fine. :)

Also, she was supposed to be responsible for periodically "fluffing" my dress, which is apparently a lot more complicated than it sounds. The tailor lady was supposed to show her how to do this but she couldn't get there on time. So she showed my mom instead, who showed my maid of honor the day of the wedding. Did she fluff? Nah.

The flower girl's mom decided she wanted to make the dress so my mom picked out a pattern and material and sent it to her. It worked out very nicely, actually.

Actually as far as bridesmaids go my wedding was a bit of a dud. My friends are spread out over the globe so nobody threw me a bridal shower and I had no bachelorette party. Kinda lame, but I was mainly concerned with getting married at the time. :)

Jersey Chick
07-18-2007, 04:50 AM
I spent the night of my bachelorette party driving all over central NJ looking for my idiot groom. He and his best man actually got into an argument at his bachelor party and my husband-to-be did a dramatic storm off six sheets to the wind. My brothers tracked him down and brought him home - and he spent the night at the foot of the stairs, out cold. It was the only time I've ever seen him pass out and I was mad enough to let him stay there, but not so mad that I didn't throw an afghan over him as I stepped over him to go to bed.

BTW - we just celebrated out 10th anniversary and it's still the only time I've ever seen him pass out. :)

I was my SIL's maid of honor and the bridemaids got pissed at me because I organized the shower and divvied up the separate jobs. The real bitch of the group was pissed simply because she hadn't been asked and apparently, it was my fault that I was. Go figure.

willwrite4food
07-18-2007, 05:26 AM
When a close friend of mine got married last year, she called up one of our old friends to see if she could sing in the wedding. Our friend said, "I AM going to be a bridesmaid too, right? I would just DIE if I wasn't!" Of course, after that, my friend felt she had no choice but to ask her to be a bridesmaid.

Not exactly a horror story, but pretty bold of the wedding singer if you ask me!

Plot Device
07-18-2007, 06:01 AM
RLB -- hairy armpits! EWWWWW! :D

JoNightshade
Jersey Chick
willwrite4food

Definitely the stuff I'm looking for!



Keep it coming, ladies!!

And if any guys wanna jump in here and tell us your own observations/experiences with evil bridesmaids, please do so.

JoNightshade
07-18-2007, 08:08 AM
I would like to add that my maid of honor is, if not perfect, still one of my best friends. :) Hey, I'm not perfect either.

JoNightshade
07-18-2007, 08:15 AM
Oh... sorry, here I go again. Dunno if you need flower girl material but I've got a good one. My flower girl was a very precocious six year old cousin, the "baby" of our extended family. When I called her up to ask if she wanted to be my flower girl, it was clear that she had been anticipating the call and she was THRILLED. We were nice and she was cute, so before and during the wedding we let her ride with me and all the ladies in the limo. Unfortunately the limo driver had put in a CD of blaring Gwen Stefani singing some absolutely horrific lyrics, so here I am pushing the "next" button over and over again so our six year old isn't permanently traumatized on my wedding day. Well, I do this about three times when she announces to everyone present: "OH, don't WORRY, I listen to stuff like this ALL THE TIME with my friends. My parents even let me watch CSI!" I am not sure how CSI relates to Gwen Stefani, but she then proceeds to demonstrate her very "cool" and "sophisticated" dance moves in the middle of the limo. Anyone remember Elaine's dance on Seinfeld? Yeah. We were all rolling on the floor we were laughing so hard, which only egged her on all the more. It was terrible! :)

jennifer75
07-18-2007, 09:48 PM
In addition to my boobie story, I'll add that by the time I hit the reception (which by the way sitting at the main table added to my humiliation) my panty hose had a run in them from my knee up to my crotch and the crotch had come down mid-thigh. Think of it as a webbed crotch. :)

kenzie45230
07-19-2007, 07:35 PM
When I was married, my bridesmaids wore hats. My sister-in-law lied about her dress size and her hat size. I guess she was ashamed of her size? The dress had to be altered the day before the wedding. The hats didn't arrive until the night before, and hers didn't fit, of course. I made her wear it anyway. Sure looked funny perched on top of her head. Oh yeah. And she also lied about shoe size. Stupid. She ended up with no shoes on, which made her dress way too long for the walk down the aisle.