Weird Writing Jobs

It was more of an editing job than a writing one, but basically I was testing outputs of different translation softwares, operated by different translators. I read English translations of Chinese and Arabic newscasts, and making sure the translation transcripts matched each other. There were some really good translations, and others really, really bad, still full of Chinese or Arabic (neither which I read).

It was an interesting gig for the short-term. Nothing I could do longer than a couple of months. Plus, I'm probably on government radar now.

Like katiemac's, mine also dealt with translated English.

My day job is with a language services company. We house a translation agency, and last summer one of the translation project managers asked me to do some "light editing" of a number of Pakistani newspaper articles that had been translated from Urdu to English. Too bad that number of articles was 165, and the "light editing" turned out to involve deciphering the meaning of each article and then rewriting all 165, line by wretched line.

The very basic rule with translations -- at least in our agency -- is that the translator translates INTO his native language, not from it. These articles had obviously not been done that way. Names had been translated phonetically, modifiers dangled all over the place, and nearly everything was in passive voice. Oh, and a bunch of the articles were about cricket, which I knew nothing about at that point (but, oh, now I do!).

Lucky for you guys, I saved the original translations for their humor potential. Here's a favorite excerpt:

There were along with the American president Bush, this wife Lara Bush and US secretary of state Condo Lisa Rise, when she got out of the hall, it was severe cold, he in accordance with the tradition of hospitality, drank milk of mere from the hands of hosts, in which beer and common milk was mixed, then he took two draughts of tea, ate paneer but he excused to drink the milk of she camel which is the favorite food of Mongols.

Defense Minister Rams Field, who was already there, was also in the receptionists, riding on a horse.

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The worst thing was, I grossly underestimated the time I needed to work on these. The night before they were due, I didn't sleep. I just sat in the living room with my laptop, furiously and deliriously working my way through "prose" like that you see above.

You couldn't pay me enough to make me go through that again.

That excerpt looks too familiar, satori. Put it away!

I was once hired by the father of a boy in high school to edit the lad's college application essays. I soon realized that they'd hired me to rewrite - or, more properly, write - the essays myself. Here's a sample of the material I had to work with.

I later when I was 2 years old moved to South Florida in a small little town called Boca Raton... At the same time I started to learn Judo. In the begging I was very reluctant, but over the years I grew found of it. It is here where I learnt discipline, honour, and respect just a few unique qualities that hold.

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At the time I was unemployed and I needed the money to pay my immigration agent so I could get to Canada. So I did the best I could with those essays, though I probably wouldn't do it again unless I were just as desperate, which is unlikely.

Job

Probably writing recipes with tiny , one hundred word stories attached to them.

eulogies -- I wrote eulogies (I called it eulogology!!). Guess that makes me the life of the party!!!!

Since everyone else was dead, yes it does.

Mine was millennium SF serial - for one of the women's mags.

arrowqueen said:

Since everyone else was dead, yes it does.

Mine was millennium SF serial - for one of the women's mags.

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I would still do any one of those jobs rather than what I'm doing now. Seriously. How do I get me one?

I wrote the text for some correspondence course. Blech. Basic English. It was a continuing ed course geared mainly to the incarcerated. Oh the irony.

When I get one, I'll let ya know.

I was the night love-ad person for an alternative newspaper in Portland, Ore. Clients would call in to place their lonely heart (or whatever ) ad and I would help them "sauce" it up a bit. I loved this job, I met the oddest people and they were always entertaining (usually drunk).

I get paid to write inane things on an internet board.

Strange but pleasant. Unusually rewarding yet reasonably unique. Picture 8 quarter sized packing cartons, those cardboard boxes used for heavier books when moving, and filled with new release XXX dvd’s. About 50 movies in each box. Some of them had suitable descriptions and listed actresses. It was a simple matter of copying verbatim. For the rest, I had to create flowery and raunchy sounding blurbs to accompany the movies for use in the database of an adult shop. Scanning the jackets for thumbnail and mid sized display was another part of the job. It seemed like every friend and acquaintance I had ever met came to visit me that week.

Draco…
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