Fabulous Flash? My brother is a scarecrow

Rate the story below:

  • Fabulous

    Votes: 6 26.1%
  • Good, but it could be improved

    Votes: 4 17.4%
  • OK, but it didn't engage me

    Votes: 10 43.5%
  • Needs work

    Votes: 1 4.3%
  • It does nothing for me

    Votes: 2 8.7%

  • Total voters
    23

Cath

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OK I'm blatantly stealing this idea from the Poetry forum, but I though it would be interesting to share and discuss Sudden Fiction stories from outside the forums.

So, I want to kick off with this one:

My Brother is a Scarecrow, by Martin Steele published in the Spring 2007 edition of Coyote Wild

What I love about this is the depth of it. It's very short - just 150 words - but there's a lot going on. It's lively and original, and I love that the scarecrow can be real or metaphorical.

So - what do you think? Do you like it? or does it miss the mark?
 

kristie911

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It was okay but not really my thing. A couple of the sentences were overly long and sort of ruined the flow for me.

But what do I know? :)
 

jhtatroe

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Seems like good writing, but it didn't make me go "wow." This could just be because I dont' read a lot of speculative fiction, though. I was kind of lost the first time through and wouldn't have been intrigued enough to re-read had it not been for this discussion.
 

MacAllister

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I liked this piece very much. There's an actual story, to begin with -- and too much of the flash I see is a sketch of a scene, and there's not really any story, nothing happens. The language was evocative and strong. It didn't fall into the trap of sounding like prose poetry, either -- another tricky thing with very short flash pieces.

The verb form is uniformly strong, with the single passive construction, here, which is quite clearly deliberate, setting up the series of simple first-person statements: "All kinds of excuses were made, like, I'm allergic to straw, I get splinters easily. I don't play with men of straw."

The interesting thing about that choice, in terms of writing, is it reveals story beneath the surface on multiple levels. The entire piece is first person, so the choice to put that series of statements in first person, also, (and without quote marks) . . . that's deeply revelatory of the narrator's own ambivalence, and I'm not sure how else it could possibly have been handled.

This whole thing has enormous economy of words, every word doing double or triple duty, every sentence meaning several things simultaneously, but doesn't feel rushed at any point and similarly, wouldn't be nearly as beautiful if the writer had used a great many more words.
 
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nevada

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Okay, MacAlister said everything I wanted to say. No, really. Word for word. ;)

What I love about this piece is that the brother being a scarecrow could easily be a metaphor for the brother being mentally challenged. Autistic, or Down's syndrome for example. And the ridiculous excuses people make for treating those children differently, for not interacting with them the way they interact with "normal" children.

In the end, when the brother keeps the birds away from cleaning the plate, if you'd continue the challenged metaphor, comes the reality that no matter how normal the children look they are "wrong" (I don't think they are wrong, dont send me email please. :) ) The brother keeps the birds away, which would normally be his function, only he does it at the wrong time. The birds are actually wanted in order to clean the plates.

In the beginning, when the father makes the scarecrow and the narrator helps, it could mean the daily routine in the family where the challenged child is helped to dress and get ready for the day. Even the unusual clothes the scarecrow wears, the golden slippers and the emperor's waistcoat could refer to the sometimes discordant clothes children like to wear. Colourmatching, anyone?

And when the narrator looks down silently at his plate and realizes his brother will need a makeover soon, perhaps the narrator realizes that his brother will never be "normal" and will always need taking care of.

Of course, this is my interpretation. It may not be what the author intended but it can be interpreted that way. That's the way of really good writing. It's open to so many interpretations. I love it.
 

Cath

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There was another layer that struck me on a later read - is it possible the father and narrator build the scarecrow to keep people away?

That's really what I meant about the depth of the piece, it's multi-layered and incredibly subtle.
 

Danger Jane

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Maybe I'm not that bright but I really don't get this...at all.
 

ErylRavenwell

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There's definitely a deeper meaning to it. I love the ending: "The plates are put outside in the yard for the birds but my brother makes sure they come nowhere near."
 

dobiwon

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Something bothered me from the first time I read it. Like Jenn, I probably wouldn't have read it a second time except for everyone's comments. When I got to Nevada's
the brother being a scarecrow could easily be a metaphor for the brother being mentally challenged. Autistic, or Down's syndrome for example.
I knew what it was that bothered me. There were only three plates, the father and the narrator build the brother, the unflattering description of the brother, all led me to think that the narrator was the brother's mother and her father was her son's father.

On one hand, this turned me off to the story, but on the other, I was amazed that so much could be conveyed in so few words. Summary: not my cup of tea, but well-written and deep on many levels.
 

nevada

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Dobiwon I dont understand how you could think the narrator was the mother since the narrator clearly says I helped My Father make him. And then two sentences later refers to him as My Brother. The fact that there are only three plates begs the question "where is the mother". Did she die? DId she leave? If you accept the metaphor as the scarecrow brother being disabled, did the mother leave because she couldnt deal with that. Or did the mother die and the father wanted another child. So many questions are raised.
 

jhtatroe

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Actually, I read it as dobiwon's interpretation as well in the "I helped my father make him." I wondered if there was an incestuous relationship between the father and narrator, resulting in the birth of the brother.
 

ErylRavenwell

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Actually, I read it as dobiwon's interpretation as well in the "I helped my father make him." I wondered if there was an incestuous relationship between the father and narrator, resulting in the birth of the brother.

Nod. I initially assumed the narrator is male (perhaps because the author's name is Martin). But then it dawned on me the narrator might be female and the pieces seem suddenly to come together neatly. Her brother is her son as well; makes sense, considering she helped her father make him. Yellow straw for blond hair, just like the narrator's. A child of incest is loathed by society. Makes sense, doesn't it?
 
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nevada

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And isnt that awesome because that's something I never even considered. Obviously. Duh. Now that i reread it I can totally see that interpretation. Dobiwon, i apologize.

Isnt it awesome how many interpretations can be made from such a small story? I love it.
 

maestrowork

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It's definitely literary with layers of meaning and open for interpretation. I personally like this kind of work, even though on the surface it can be baffling -- like the best of poetry, the hidden meaning is rich. Yet, if you just want to take the piece at face value, there is much to like about it -- the word choices, the emotions, and going-ons in such a short piece. I tend to enjoy short pieces (under 200 words) that say A LOT with layers of meanings and, like Mac said, every word carries multiple duties.
 

Skyraven

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I had a weird thought that the character's brother was really a scarecrow. I read it again and again. It seemed that the character ahd put alot of work into building this scarecrow, without realizing that anyine would not care about the scarecrow as much as him. Anyway, I've never taken a creative writing class, only a literature class in junior year of highschool. I think it was well-written and I felt the emotion of the little boy in the story. It's a great piece. :)