Another body image question: Situations that irritate you

I don't know how much this personally affects me, but it never ceases to annoy me that media constantly refer to a woman's looks. If I'm reading a magazine about a woman doing charity work or the like, not necessarily an actress, somehow the opening introduction is all about her lip or hair color.

Articles on mainstream celebrities do this all the time, and rarely do I see the same attention given to male celebrities' looks. Stephen Colbert actually spoofed this whole idea recently in regards to the attention the media gives Hillary Clinton for her looks, but none for the male candidates.

I admire the way my biceps flex as I punch their teeth in.

Hmmm .... I dunnoh how much this scenario has to do with 'body image', though that's an interesting subject.


The world will continue to be full of people thinner, smarter, richer, taller, more aristocratic, more energetic, more creative, more hard-working, better educated, better dressed and ad infinitum cetera
than anyone you care to point at
and some of them bought Google when it was at 40.

There will always be folks mean-spirited enough to point this out.

The answer to this is to learn how to deal with mean-spirited people.


Most peole will continue to admire good health, smartness, richness, tallness etc. even though it makes you jealous.
It's very shallow of them, but that's the way folks are.

It really irritates me when magazines bang on and on about how your figure doesn't matter. Turn the page. "Try this new diet!"

My grandmother is always telling me I should wear makeup. I don't think she realizes how terrible that makes me feel. I like the way I look ordinarily, but sometimes I remember my grandmother's comments and wonder how other people see me--and then I imagine I must actually look like a hag.

Of course, she's 86 and she still dyes her hair brown. She's not fooling anybody!

It really irritates me when magazines bang on and on about how your figure doesn't matter. Turn the page. "Try this new diet!"

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Yes, not to mention that the magazine's models have the same body type.

Someone I used to work with used to make comments all the time about how skinny I was and how I obviously wasn’t eating enough. It really pissed me off that she seemed to think it was fine to make disparaging remarks just because I was thin and not fat.

scarletpeaches said:

It really irritates me when magazines bang on and on about how your figure doesn't matter. Turn the page. "Try this new diet!"

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Or when they have a humungous article on healthy diet or some health issue that relates to food: maybe cholesterol or something… and then you turn a few pages to find a recipe article featuring ‘mouthwatering desserts’.

scarletpeaches said:

It really irritates me when magazines bang on and on about how your figure doesn't matter. Turn the page. "Try this new diet!"

Click to expand...

Cosmo swears by this! Page 18 - Accept your body as it is.
Page 21 - Lose 50 pounds in 20 minutes with our workout
Page 32 - A twelve page spread of skeletons in bikinis that you can neither afford nor wear.
Page 50 - The hottest looks right off the catwalk - that you can neither afford nor wear.

Ugh.... give me real people, please. I'm not really all that hung up on my bodu - if my pants fit, I'm happy. If not, I have to put down the cupcake and go to the gym. Pretty simple...

Stressed said:

Someone I used to work with used to make comments all the time about how skinny I was and how I obviously wasn’t eating enough. It really pissed me off that she seemed to think it was fine to make disparaging remarks just because I was thin and not fat.

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Yeah. Actually, I agree with this. When I started high school, I was and still am really small. People felt the need to tell me that I needed to eat more, that I had an eating disorder. It really hurt me, because if you've ever even seen me eat, you'd know that I love to eat and I eat all the time. It's hard, trying to be happy with my small self when I feel like everyone is looking at me and gossiping about my "eating disorder" behind my back.

I'm over 50 and most of my life, my mom has consistently told me I need to do something with my hair. So, out of rebellion and being reactive, I have not!

I worked out an agreement with my hair when I was very young: we agreed to cohabitate; I leave my hair alone, my hair leaves me alone.

Occasionly, for health reasons, I cut off the split ends. I wash it every three days and brush it once a day unless I go somewhere after work.

I have learned to turn off the "little voice" that says, "you need a hair-do", whatever that is.

20 years ago, when I read Cosmo and Glamour, a slight chip in my nail polish would mean I was a total slob. The fact that I couldn't afford all the beauty products advertised meant I'd never look halfway decent. Cosmo assured me on a monthly basis that I was never ever good enough, and never would be no matter what.

I don't read those magazines anymore. And with 20 years of maturity under my belt, I like myself just as I am. I use makeup and things, but I don't let anyone dictate how I should feel about myself.

Also, due to the length of time it took me to recover from an illness, I view my body differently- with much more love and respect. I will never again self-hate if my eyelashes don't have volume, curl, length and definition. I'm just happy to have my health.

I am also very thin, and get the same "you must have an eating disorder" crap. Yeah, that's irritating.

I also happen to have a lot of male friends who prefer bigger girls and have no qualms telling all about it..."Yuck, that model (here they point at a girl larger than me) is all skin and bones! Who wants to make out with a twig? Give me a girl with a *real* nice..." "Thanks," I say. "That girl probably weighs -what - 20 pounds more than me?" At which point they mutter, "Oh, but it's fine on *you*..." and change the subject. You'd think this would only happen once or twice, but for some reason, the same guys, my friends for many years, tend to do it more like once or twice *a month*. Drives me nuts.

Oops. You said situations that irritate you.
Magazines like Cosmo that tell women they not only need to be thin, but they won't even be decent human beings unless they buy this, wear that, use this, enlarge that, shrink the other, expose those, cover these, hide this, accentuate that, minimize it...and sleep with all of them because you're a confident woman who knows what she wants! (and if you sleep with all of them you need to "Blow His Mind" with "Twenty New Bedroom Tricks" that "Men Confess They Love.")

Sorry if this sounds like man-bashing; it's really not.

But I get annoyed if I'm upset over something and a man asks, "Are you on your period?"

Not really to do with body image, but it's related to femininity of course...A woman who shows upset must have the painters in. So it's best not to...

And other women who say to me, "It's all right for you; you're thin, you can eat what you want." Uh, no...I'm thin because I stop eating when I'm full.

It's the whole "It's okay for you because you look like this, or your body does that," thing that gets me. We all have things we're unhappy with and it's a rare woman who's happy with what nature or God gave her.

I like it when an actor or actress gets a big part, and he/she is not the penultimate perfect body/face hollywood type, but still looks hot. I think that can have a very positive effect on all of us.

A couple of years ago I lost 45 pounds or so. Went to family reunion and DH's cousins were ecstatic for me, telling me what a real genuine achievement that was. Here I had earned a college degree, had a career, was raising a civilized family and was (still am) writing a novel and THAT's what impressed them. Sometimes I wonder about that bunch. They all have perfect houses and no pets so there's not a lot of common ground to start with

Thanks for letting me vent ...

Ann

When I was in High School, it was a bit unusual to be 6ft tall. (These days it doesnt seem so uncommon)

I also happened to have Red Hair (it has gotten darker as ive aged but it was redder when I was younger)

So in reference to those two physical traits, here is a list of my biggest irritations:

1. Being Called:

*Big Bird
*Big Red
*Big Jack (name is jackie)
*Big *anything FFS!*
*Amazon ( Although I now consider this *somewhat* of a compliment heh)

2. Any rude references to my hair color such as:

*Is the hair *down there* (all sorts of snickering and pointing going on here FYI) the same color?
*Does the carpet match the curtains?
etc etc etc..im sure theres a million more i've long since forgotten

3. Any reference to my Height such as:

*Hows the weather up there - OMG i hate that one and every person that said it laughed hysterically at themselves as if they were the first person in the world that ever thought of it. My response, its fine up here. How is it down there around my arsehole?

*Do you play basketball? (As if any creature my size would dare not to apparently!)

*You're so lucky! If I could have your height I could be a model! (every teenage cheerleaders delusional early life ambition of course)

All of these things definitely influenced the thoughts I had about myself and the way I looked. They also irritated the hell out of me.

hope that helps

In high school. my best friend was 6' tall and when she turned sideways, she'd disappear. She did modeling, but all anyone ever talked about was how effing tall she was. I am about 5'4" on a good day (tho in the 80s I was almost 5'8" due to Jersey hair**sighs**), so whenever we were together, that was what people pointed out. Mutt and Jeff. Um... ok... and I'm supposed to grow taller... how? And she was supposed to shrink... how?

I'm squishier than I used to be - but I don't care. If my clothes fit - fine. My daughter had a homework assignment about height and weight and I had to send a note with her to explain that we had to guess her weight because we don't own a scale. I'm thinkin' the teacher probably didn't believe me.

Someone will always find something as a flaw on someone else. And who volumizes their eyelashes anyway! I'm just happy they're there! Same goes with my eyebrows - I tweeze to make two and the unruly little buggers - aside from that... I could give a rat's backside what shape they are.

I was raised by a step-mother. I don't waste money on therapy; voodoo priestesses work wonders.

Jokes aside, I spent 15 years of my youth being told everyday I was ugly, chest too big for my age, and 'look, those Olympic gymnists are your age and they don't have a weight problem'.

I learned two things: 1) I'm a gorgeous person on the inside. Nope, not being conceited. I love people, life, and laughter.

2) I learned/aced sarcasm. Which came in handy.

When I was 16, and she started her diatribe over how ugly I was--AGAIN, I finally mustered the courage & replied:
"I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can diet."

I moved out a few days later.

My childhood crappy mother, and emotional madness back then has made me a great mom today for my own daughters. I understand their insecurities. When they hear my own stories, they realize I really DO know what it's like...and they laugh, realizing they have it rather good. And that they are blessed to be gorgeous on the outside too.

Okay...that's all. Moving over for the next poster. Hope it helped.

scarletpeaches said:

It really irritates me when magazines bang on and on about how your figure doesn't matter. Turn the page. "Try this new diet!"

Click to expand...

ANd they have dessert receipes on the page after that.

Stressed said:

Or when they have a humungous article on healthy diet or some health issue that relates to food: maybe cholesterol or something… and then you turn a few pages to find a recipe article featuring ‘mouthwatering desserts’.

Click to expand...

Oh, she beat me to it.

Like I said in the other post, it's just my Dad that makes comments about my extra padding. Models, actresses, et al can just kiss my jiggly butt.

I do worry about my weight sometimes but only for health reasons (or if I find a favorite shirt/pair of pants doesn't fit right). My sister has diabetes and my family has a history of getting pudgy in their later years, so I try to remind myself that I want to be healthy enough to play with any future grandchildren.

The only time I'm jealous of "skinny" people is when I see someone who is in superb physical condition - they work out, they eat right, they get the right amount of sleep, etc. But even then, I think I just envy the fact that they have that much self-discipline.

That's horrible when people just assume you have an eating disorder because you're skinny. People should be able to tell the difference between someone that's naturally skinny and someone who's being unhealthy. Not that it might keep them from teasing you about your slim figure, but they should know the difference.

I don't wear makeup either. I had a boss tell me it wasn't feminine to go without it and I had a roommate and her friend chide me continually about it. I finally figured out that I threatened them becuase I carried myself with confidence and didn't need to hide behind makeup. Makeup - to me - should say "hey look how pretty ______ is, " not "Hey I'm ________'s make up!" I like make up, especially lip stick, I just can't be bothered with it most of the time. I didn't even wear it to my wedding. My friend, a make up maven, said that I shouldn't since I don't wear is normally I would just be uncomfortable on the (one of the)most important day of my life.