5 things not to pick fights with.

6) Mac. She puts a dress on you and turns you into a kitty.

Computers - or you'll be data-er than a doornail.

I find it quite difficult to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

And I've tried arguing a point with a brick wall once. It won.

#1 should be "Your Wife".

#2 should be "Your Mother-In-Law".

MidnightMuse said:

I find it quite difficult to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

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You mean another blonde?

;-)

(I'm afraid, I'm very afraid . . . )

thethinker42 said:

#1 should be "Your Wife".

#2 should be "Your Mother-In-Law".

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No, #1 should be my mother. You don't want to pick a fight with her. You won't live to tell the tale or sell the manuscript.

Captain Scarf said:

1) Aliens who are immune to bullets..

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That is why I treat my wooden garden stakes with garlic oil. A resourceful woman also keeps lots of hairspray, lighters and gasoline around for those uncomfortable times when bullets won't stop an alien and you just HAVE to get to work.

Captain Scarf said:

2) Grass (It always grows back)..

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Salt. Lots and lots of salt. Mixed with an herbacide it is going to leave an obscene phrase in your neighbor's lawn until they dig it up and re-sod it.

Captain Scarf said:

3) Bureaucratic systems (they just bunker down and refuse to help you)..

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You get a bigger bureaucratic system and break the seige. No trouble at all.

Captain Scarf said:

4) Deadlines (they rarely ever move)..

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Entropy. And you either make the deadline or you don't. They make beer for both occasions.

Captain Scarf said:

5) The sea.

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. Which sea?...you need to be more specific.
...and just so you know... last year, I took an 8 oz glass of tequila and I went and stood in the Atlantic Ocean for hours. It wet the hem of my pants...but after I'd just about yelled myself hoarse...it backed off...

BACKED OFF I TELL YOU!!!

..but that WAS the ocean and not the sea

alleycat said:

(I'm afraid, I'm very afraid . . . )

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You should be

MidnightMuse said:

You should be

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I foresee a butt kicking in my future . . .

BenPanced said:

No, #1 should be my mother. You don't want to pick a fight with her. You won't live to tell the tale or sell the manuscript.

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I hear ya. My MIL is pretty high on the list only because she's so damn immature, self-centered, and insensitive. You CANNOT win. Stupid bitch...

MidnightMuse said:

And I've tried arguing a point with a brick wall once. It won.

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I'm more of a brick outhouse than a brick wall. But thanks, anyway.

You can't fight the good fight if this is how you end up.

...a menopausal woman who has control of the home thermostat.

NeuroFizz said:

...a menopausal woman who has control of the home thermostat.

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Or a key to the ammo cabinet?

A HERD OF WILDEBEEST.

My yellow budgie Freddie. She has a very sharp beak and a bad temper and knows how to use both.

The big guy who used to live across the street and smacked his wife across the face, hard, right in front of you; and you walked into his yard and told him he was a no good for nothing piece of trash who should pick on someone his own size; and he proceeded to smack you around, too, up and down the street...

Captain Scarf said:

1) Aliens who are immune to bullets.

2) Grass (It always grows back).

3) Bureaucratic systems (they just bunker down and refuse to help you).

4) Deadlines (they rarely ever move).

5) The sea.

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You left out bears. Why did you leave out bears?

Jim Croce had it right... Don't mess with a JUNK YARD DOG!! They have no humor.....

Um, a nail gun. See Tina's thread.

Soccer Mom said:

Um, a nail gun. See Tina's thread.

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That would be a husband trying to collect on the insurance, thread?

You'd better run, Spooky. The cricket mafia's gonna get you.