Bathroom question for guys.

Plot Device · Jun 12, 2007

This is actually gonna be a lot cleaner than you might have thought, judging by the thread title.

Here goes:

A guy is alone in the bathroom doing morning routine kind of stuff (maybe shaving, maybe brushing teeth, etc) in front of the mirror (so he's not on the toilet and he's not in the shower). While engaged in his grooming ritual, he's musing out loud to himself about a female interest of his. And then he says something kinda rude about her.

The Powers That Be in the universe hear him and decide to exact a little poetic justice on him at that precise moment for his un-called-for remark against that innocent woman.

What sort of "punishment" can conveneintly befall him?

It needs to meet all of the following:

1) funny
2) strangely coincidental
3) can't cause permanent injury
4) can't make too much of a mess
5) can't cause property damage

One of the things I thought of was he might be using an electric razor, and it shorts out on him at that moment, and then his stubble gets caught in the rotars and hurts him severely (but again, not a permanent injury).

Any ideas?

alleycat · Jun 12, 2007

-The light break, not just goes out, shatters.
-His toothbrush slip out of his hand into the toilet.
-He's admires himself in the mirror and notices a giant zit growing on his forehead.
-He suddenly sees the word "LOSER" in the steam-covered mirror.
-He mistakes the KY jelly for toothpaste.
-He hand slips while he's shaving . . . he now has one high and one low sideburn.
-He's preening without paying attention and the sink overflows.
-He mistakes the Off for his spray deodorant.
-He spray something into his eyes . . . now he can't see and he stumbles and fall into the tub.
-He's shaving and cut the mole on his chin . . . it bleeds, and bleeds, and bleeds. He has to put tissue on it and now he looks like an idiot.
-He's using the blow dryer when he makes the comment . . . it keeps getting hotter and hotter until it catches on fire.
-He notices something written on his chest as the steam on the mirror disapates . . . it reads JERK.

I could go on . . . and on . . . and on. If you want to get meaner, we can have his penis involved.

Plot Device · Jun 12, 2007

Okay. Funny stuff.

I am planning on having him do no less than three such bathroom mumblings against this woman, and all three times he gets a thwap on the nose from poetic justice.

I already did two of what you said suggested:

alleycat said:
-The light break, not just goes out, shatters.
(This was the very first one I had befall him on Page 6)
-His toothbrush slip out of his hand into the toilet.
-He's admires himself in the mirror and notices a giant zit growing on his forehead.
-He suddenly sees the word "LOSER" in the steam-covered mirror.
-He mistakes the KY jelly for toothpaste.
-He hand slips while he's shaving . . . he now has one high and one low sideburn.
-He's preening without paying attention and the sink overflows.
(I had the plumber come by that day and fix some pipes, so when the water main got turned back on, he got blasted on page 8 by a huge air pocket built up in the pipe because the plumber failed to properly bleed it.)
-He mistakes the Off for his spray deodorant.
-He spray something into his eyes . . . now he can't see and he stumbles and fall into the tub.
-He's shaving and cut the mole on his chin . . . it bleeds, and bleeds, and bleeds. He has to put tissue on it and now he looks like an idiot.
-He's using the blow dryer when he makes the comment . . . it keeps getting hotter and hotter until it catches on fire.
-He notices something written on his chest as the steam on the mirror disapates . . . it reads JERK.

I could go on . . . and on . . . and on. If you want to get meaner, we can have his penis involved.

Please--keep going! I could use some more!

Jedi Dad · Jun 12, 2007

Plot Device said:
This is actually gonna be a lot cleaner than you might have thought, judging by the thread title.

Here goes:

A guy is alone in the bathroom doing morning routine kind of stuff (maybe shaving, maybe brushing teeth, etc) in front of the mirror (so he's not on the toilet and he's not in the shower). While engaged in his grooming ritual, he's musing out loud to himself about a female interest of his. And then he says something kinda rude about her.

The Powers That Be in the universe hear him and decide to exact a little poetic justice on him at that precise moment for his un-called-for remark against that innocent woman.

What sort of "punishment" can conveneintly befall him?

It needs to meet all of the following:

1) funny
2) strangely coincidental
3) can't cause permanent injury
4) can't make too much of a mess
5) can't cause property damage

One of the things I thought of was he might be using an electric razor, and it shorts out on him at that moment, and then his stubble gets caught in the rotars and hurts him severely (but again, not a permanent injury).

Any ideas?

He starts losing hair in ...places

Robert L.B. · Jun 12, 2007

Assuming the sink is very close to the door..

He turns around and walks right smack into the side of the door, making his nose sting and eyes water.

Plot Device · Jun 12, 2007

Jedi Dad said:
He starts losing hair in ...places

Needs to be an immediate thing that's over and done with at that exact moment.

I liken it to rolling up a newspaper and thwapping a dog on the nose. It's done in seconds, but he'll remember.

Plot Device · Jun 12, 2007

Islaitha Frost said:
Assuming the sink is very close to the door..

He turns around and walks right smack into the side of the door, making his nose sting and eyes water.

Okay--you're in the right neighborhood. BUT I want somethig that HAPPENS to him, as oposed to some dumb miscalculation he does himself --in your scenario he misjudges the door. That's his own doing. I want something to "befall" him.

alleycat · Jun 12, 2007

-He could suddenly get sprayed with water from the facet.
-His shaving cream won't not stop squirting out; it goes everywhere.
-He get his comb stuck in his hair, he won't come out. He has to cut his hair.
-The rings holding up the shower curtain pop out one by one.
-His aftershave turns his face green.
-Right after he makes the comment about the women, he smiles . . . and notices his teeth are blue. He panics.
-He gets his nosehair chippers stuck in his nose.
-After he makes the comment, his rub his feet, then notices some fungus growing rapidly.

veinglory · Jun 12, 2007

I like the toothbrush in the toilet one

Robert L.B. · Jun 12, 2007

The door quietly swings just enough so he thinks it's still open, then he walks into it. No mistake, he didn't see it move.

Plot Device · Jun 12, 2007

alleycat said:
-He could suddenly get sprayed with water from the facet.
-His shaving cream won't not stop squirting out; it goes everywhere.
-He get his comb stuck in his hair, he won't come out. He has to cut his hair.
-The rings holding up the shower curtain pop out one by one.
-His aftershave turns his face green.
-Right after he makes the comment about the women, he smiles . . . and notices his teeth are blue. He panics.
-He gets his nosehair chippers stuck in his nose.
-After he makes the comment, his rub his feet, then notices some fungus growing rapidly.

I think I like this one.

"-He get his comb stuck in his hair, he won't come out. He has to cut his hair."

I don't want anything "supernatural" just oddly coicidental. (I know--kind of a tall order!)

Getting back to the electric razor--do you guys use electric razors? And .... would they do that? (Would they snag your beard?)

Plot Device · Jun 12, 2007

veinglory said:
I like the toothbrush in the toilet one

Hmm... maybe he is attempting to take it out of his toothbrish case and it fumbles in. Hmmm... maybe that one is kinda cool.

Plot Device · Jun 12, 2007

Islaitha Frost said:
The door quietly swings just enough so he thinks it's still open, then he walks into it. No mistake, he didn't see it move.

Yes but .... we're kinda getting into the territory of "Final Destination" here with that one. This is supposed to be funny, not creepy.

alleycat · Jun 12, 2007

Plot Device said:
Hmm... maybe he is attempting to take it out of his toothbrish case and it fumbles in. Hmmm... maybe that one is kinda cool.

I would just have him holding the toothbrush and it squirts out of his wet hand and into the toilet.

Rolling Thunder · Jun 12, 2007

He sprouts breasts. Double-D's.

Of course, most guys would just call in sick and...well...

Plot Device · Jun 12, 2007

alleycat said:
I would just have him holding the toothbrush and it squirts out of his wet hand and into the toilet.

Or maybe the toothbrush's head breaks off in his mouth and so now the whole toothbrush is useless.

Plot Device · Jun 12, 2007

Rllgthunder said:
He sprouts breasts. Double-D's.

Of course, most guys would just call in sick and...well...

Nothing supernatural. Just oddly coincidental.

Plot Device · Jun 12, 2007

I almost launched this thread as JUST a question about guys using electric razors since that was my initial thought. But I find repeatedly in this forum that ever-so-helpful respondents tend to ask: "What's this all about?" so then by the third or fourth post, the OP needs to clarify what the REAL deal is.

So I did it from the get go.

But now ...

... my electric razor question is getting overshadowed. (less is more, I guess).

Can any guys here tell me about foibles with electric razors?

alleycat · Jun 12, 2007

I can't. I use a Mach 3.

I could make up all sort of stuff about electric shavers however.

alleycat · Jun 12, 2007

If you let him be driving down the road in his car . . . we could really give you some ideas.

;-)

Rolling Thunder · Jun 12, 2007

I don't shave. Well, not often.

Plot Device · Jun 12, 2007

alleycat said:
I can't. I use a Mach 3.

I could make up all sort of stuff about electric shavers however.

Do so!

alleycat said:
If you let him be driving down the road in his car . . . we could really give you some ideas.

;-)

Nope--gotta be in the bathroom. Sorry.

Rllgthunder said:
I don't shave. Well, not often.

S'okay.

underthecity · Jun 12, 2007

I can't believe this hasn't been mentioned yet; all the guys here will nod their heads, and the gals will say, "Wha--?"

Have it so when he starts to pee, the stream goes into two (or three) directions. One can go all over the floor mat, one can go all over his feet, one over the wall, etc.

It always sucks when this happens.

allen

Rolling Thunder · Jun 12, 2007

You mean...that's not normal?

Plot Device · Jun 12, 2007

underthecity said:
I can't believe this hasn't been mentioned yet; all the guys here will nod their heads, and the gals will say, "Wha--?"

Have it so when he starts to pee, the stream goes into two (or three) directions. One can go all over the floor mat, one can go all over his feet, one over the wall, etc.

It always sucks when this happens.

allen

Uhhh ...... this is a movie script, and I need to keep it safely in the realm of PG or PG-13.

(But that IS pretty funny!)

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