How do you know men...

Little Red Barn · Jun 8, 2007

We've had this discussion before but I think it was for woman. ?

For a short story I've been working on...

What are the signals a man sends out when he wants/loves a woman. How do you know, whats the body signals? Do they look up away, etc.. This is the before marriage during the initial just getting to know phase.

Now I remember on woman it was said they send out signals like twisting hair..etc.. Body language.

Also, Anybody have that thread, please let me know.

JJ Cooper · Jun 8, 2007

You're asking for trouble with this post Kimmi.

I think we are in the minority on AW for some reason but I'll give it a go.

A man will pretend a lot harder to understand what a woman is saying when they are dating.

A man will pretend to have manners when they start dating.

A man won't break wind in front of his new woman until after they have slept together.

A man will pretend to pay attention to her needs - for a short time.

Unfortunately no matter what stage of the relationship is at - sport will always come first.

JJ

Bmwhtly · Jun 8, 2007

How can you tell if a man is 'interested' in a woman?

He turns up. :ROLL:

Seriously though, we're not that different from women. Lots of eye contact, if he's really listening.
As to body language, well, anything non-defensive (Not crossing arms or legs. Leaning in to the conversation) shows interest. Anything overtly friendly (even a touch on the hand) means he's uber-interested.

At least, thems the signals I semaphore.

Bmwhtly · Jun 8, 2007

JJ Cooper said:
A man will pretend a lot harder to understand what a woman is saying when they are dating.

A man will pretend to have manners when they start dating.

A man won't break wind in front of his new woman until after they have slept together.

A man will pretend to pay attention to her needs - for a short time.

Unfortunately no matter what stage of the relationship is at - sport will always come first.

JJ

JJ, she asked for information not a stereotype.

Little Red Barn · Jun 8, 2007

JJ Cooper said:
You're asking for trouble with this post Kimmi.

I think we are in the minority on AW for some reason but I'll give it a go.

A man will pretend a lot harder to understand what a woman is saying when they are dating.

A man will pretend to have manners when they start dating.

A man won't break wind in front of his new woman until after they have slept together.

A man will pretend to pay attention to her needs - for a short time.

Unfortunately no matter what stage of the relationship is at - sport will always come first.

JJ

Thank you JJ..now the initial meeting the first few meetings...How would the woman know the guy wants her..Whats his body language I wonder. Nervous, direct eye contact..?

Little Red Barn · Jun 8, 2007

Bmwhtly said:
JJ, she asked for information not a stereotype.

alleycat · Jun 8, 2007

kimmi said:
Thank you JJ..now the initial meeting the first few meetings...How would the woman know the guy wants her..Whats his body language I wonder. Nervous, direct eye contact..?

He keeps looking at her. He might look away, talk to someone else, get a drink . . . but he can't stop stealing a glance at her.

If he looks at her face and not her boobs . . . he's really interested in her!

And tell JJ to stop spying on me! ;-)

JJ Cooper · Jun 8, 2007

Ok, body language it shall be.

Open. Let's just say that a man is sitting across from someone he is interested in. As long as there wasn't sport on the TV, he should turn his body toward her and open up his shoulders. Maintain his head tilted toward her position and look directly at her when she looks up. When she does this give a smile and avert his eyes away, but still maintain his head postion her way. He has to remain open with his body langauge ie no crossing of the legs away from her or turning his shoulders so that she is toward his back.

JJ

Edit - I posted too quick. Now alleycat will think I really am spying on him.

alleycat · Jun 8, 2007

He pulls in his stomach whenever he thinks she sees him . . . even if he doesn't have a beer gut.

;-)

alleycat · Jun 8, 2007

He puts a banana down his pants and . . .

Okay, wait, forget that. Sorry.

;-)

Little Red Barn · Jun 8, 2007

alleycat said:
He puts a banana down his pants and . . .

Okay, wait, forget that. Sorry.

;-)

Lock thread ...ohh alley, you crazy!

alleycat · Jun 8, 2007

He will readily agree to take her to a fancy French restaurant and maybe the ballet afterwards . . . after they've been dating for six months, he'll take her to Pizza Hut and the boat show.

alleycat · Jun 8, 2007

kimmi said:
Lock thread ...ohh alley, you crazy!

I was going to mention tongue . . . but I decided not to. See, I can behave.

Little Red Barn · Jun 8, 2007

JJ Cooper said:
Ok, body language it shall be.

Open. Let's just say that a man is sitting across from someone he is interested in. As long as there wasn't sport on the TV, he should turn his body toward her and open up his shoulders. Maintain his head tilted toward her position and look directly at her when she looks up. When she does this give a smile and avert his eyes away, but still maintain his head postion her way. He has to remain open with his body langauge ie no crossing of the legs away from her or turning his shoulders so that she is toward his back.

JJ

Edit - I posted too quick. Now alleycat will think I really am spying on him.

Ok, now thats what I was wondering. When she looks back he looks away? Why nothing crossed JJ? Does this mean if he does he's closing her out?

Little Red Barn · Jun 8, 2007

ok guys would it be correct to say, when the man wants a woman. They are sitting there, but he's almost like a moth flitting toward the flame.? He doesn't want her to know yet but he keeps stealing glances when he thinks she's not looking?
Kinda a mating thing I would guess or rather mating dance on his part..I don't know I'm just a laundry queen

JJ Cooper · Jun 8, 2007

kimmi said:
Ok, now thats what I was wondering. When she looks back he looks away? Why nothing crossed JJ? Does this mean if he does he's closing her out?

Spot on. It's actually the same for both sexes but because women generally cross their legs out of habit/manners, it is harder to judge. I think the bigger one is the opening of the shoulders for the male species.

JJ

alleycat · Jun 8, 2007

kimmi said:
ok guys would it be correct to say, when the man wants a woman. They are sitting there, but he's almost like a moth flitting toward the flame.? He doesn't want her to know yet but he keeps stealing glances when he thinks she's not looking?
Kinda a mating thing I would guess or rather mating dance on his part..I don't know I'm just a laundry queen

More or less. And just about anything she does or says will seem cute or charming to him. If she wears a frumpy old outfit, she will seem unpretentious and independent; if she wears the latest fashion, she will seem like a women with style and elegance. If she's not wearing anything at all . . . never mind.

Little Red Barn · Jun 8, 2007

JJ Cooper said:
Spot on. It's actually the same for both sexes but because women generally cross their legs out of habit/manners, it is harder to judge. I think the bigger one is the opening of the shoulders for the male species.

JJ

I don't get the opening of shoulders, JJ. Does he square them back like army stance?

Little Red Barn · Jun 8, 2007

alleycat said:
More or less. And just about anything she does or says will seem cute or charming to him. If she wears a frumpy old outfit, she will seem unpretentious and independent; if she wears the latest fashion, she will seem like a women with style and elegance. If she's not wearing anything at all . . . never mind.

Alley I'm passing you a cup of Java!

rofl

alleycat · Jun 8, 2007

If he looks bored during their initial meeting, or asks what time the ballgame starts . . . that's a bad sign.

;-)

JJ Cooper · Jun 8, 2007

Kimmi,

I talked a bit about evaluating behaviour and different types of communication here. You are right to be asking these questions as 55% of communication is done in the non-verbal manner. It really is an interesting subject (body language) and one that should be understood IMO to communicate through stories.

JJ

alleycat · Jun 8, 2007

Puppy dog eyes! Yeah, that's the ticket.

wordmonkey · Jun 8, 2007

Taking drinks at the same time. When two people are connecting there is a subconscious thing that happens, so that over dinner, say, as she picks up her glass to sip the wine, he will take the same moment to drink form his own glass.

If you people watch, that's a cool little way of judging the level of connection between two people.

Little Red Barn · Jun 8, 2007

JJ Cooper said:
Kimmi,

I talked a bit about evaluating behaviour and different types of communication here. You are right to be asking these questions as 55% of communication is done in the non-verbal manner. It really is an interesting subject (body language) and one that should be understood IMO to communicate through stories.

JJ

Thanks JJ. Now I believe, I remember Silver King describing his emotions when he first met his wife to be. He said something, like... he was miserable around her and miserable away from her.

I wonder what emotions men feel? Maybe they are unsure? Afraid...not the cocky ones who are chasing for sport, the man that really wants the woman...

JJ Cooper · Jun 8, 2007

kimmi said:
I don't get the opening of shoulders, JJ. Does he square them back like army stance?

Two things. Firstly pumping out of the chest like he is the healthiest cave man in the pride. And (all those who hate me starting sentences with an 'and', there's another one) secondly, you shouldn't have your shoulders so that any of your back is facing the chase. So you 'open' them by having the chest toward the ~~kill~~ woman. Not so much like an Army stance - that would be too rigid.

JJ

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