- Joined
- Apr 25, 2007
- Messages
- 2,267
- Reaction score
- 449
- Location
- Thataway
- Website
- sasseebioche.blogspot.com
I'm sure this is nothing new, but I need to vent a little.
I'm having some serious issues between my writing and my day job. I come to my day job every morning and think, "alright, at some point today I want to sit down and write." (Warning sign #1... I come to work not thinking about work.) Normally the urge strikes me mid-morning and mid-afternoon, but obviously lunch is the more convenient writing period since I'm on break and allowed to do whatever I want, whereas mid-morning and mid-afternoon are highly inconvenient times because I need to be working. Evenings are almost always out of the question because I'm usually braindead by then.
Here's my problem:
The urge to write overwhelms my urge to get paid on a regular basis. I will sometimes sit at my desk thinking, "wow, I don't want to be here" and I seriously consider blowing off work to write in my WIP. I used to try and squeeze in an hour or two of writing between legitimate work, obviously doing as much work as possible when not writing because I knew I'd be "cheating" during the day. It evened out... I was getting the same amount of work done and was still able to write for an hour or two. Yes, I do have a desk job. I live in Cubeland.
But I think I've gotten myself into a bad habit. I was spending more and more time writing in my WIP and less time actually getting work done. Now I feel so bad for blowing off work I force myself not to write during the day, but then all I end up doing is staring mindlessly at the screen because I really... REALLY... don't want to be there. (Which is also why I'm on these forums right now.)
I already know part of it is because I have a boring and repetitive job, though I can't hunt for a new one right now because my husband is looking for a job himself. I can't quit to write for the same reason. Plus, the pay is pretty good here and I have a great boss.
Sounds fun, eh?
On top of all of that, I seem to have given myself writer's block. Since I'm forcing myself not to write during the most creative (and most inconvenient) times of the day, when I do have time to sit down and write I can't come up with a damned thing. Which then makes me want to blow off work even more and write when the creative juices are flowing.
Anyway, I just thought I'd vent a little since it's really frustrating me. Moral dilemas FTL (for the lose). For those of you that might be worried about my work performance, don't worry too much. I do manage to pull off some last minute effort in order to be within acceptable range on the metrics of our weekly reports. So far my supervisor hasn't noticed this problem of mine, or is not commenting on it, and I think it's because of the afore mentioned weekly reporting. That and I have some 'leet alt+tab skills for when people walk by my desk.
Maybe I need a vacation? Ugh.
Thanks for listening (reading).
~Sassee~
The Eternally Frustrated Ninja Bunny
I'm having some serious issues between my writing and my day job. I come to my day job every morning and think, "alright, at some point today I want to sit down and write." (Warning sign #1... I come to work not thinking about work.) Normally the urge strikes me mid-morning and mid-afternoon, but obviously lunch is the more convenient writing period since I'm on break and allowed to do whatever I want, whereas mid-morning and mid-afternoon are highly inconvenient times because I need to be working. Evenings are almost always out of the question because I'm usually braindead by then.
Here's my problem:
The urge to write overwhelms my urge to get paid on a regular basis. I will sometimes sit at my desk thinking, "wow, I don't want to be here" and I seriously consider blowing off work to write in my WIP. I used to try and squeeze in an hour or two of writing between legitimate work, obviously doing as much work as possible when not writing because I knew I'd be "cheating" during the day. It evened out... I was getting the same amount of work done and was still able to write for an hour or two. Yes, I do have a desk job. I live in Cubeland.
But I think I've gotten myself into a bad habit. I was spending more and more time writing in my WIP and less time actually getting work done. Now I feel so bad for blowing off work I force myself not to write during the day, but then all I end up doing is staring mindlessly at the screen because I really... REALLY... don't want to be there. (Which is also why I'm on these forums right now.)
I already know part of it is because I have a boring and repetitive job, though I can't hunt for a new one right now because my husband is looking for a job himself. I can't quit to write for the same reason. Plus, the pay is pretty good here and I have a great boss.
Sounds fun, eh?
On top of all of that, I seem to have given myself writer's block. Since I'm forcing myself not to write during the most creative (and most inconvenient) times of the day, when I do have time to sit down and write I can't come up with a damned thing. Which then makes me want to blow off work even more and write when the creative juices are flowing.
Anyway, I just thought I'd vent a little since it's really frustrating me. Moral dilemas FTL (for the lose). For those of you that might be worried about my work performance, don't worry too much. I do manage to pull off some last minute effort in order to be within acceptable range on the metrics of our weekly reports. So far my supervisor hasn't noticed this problem of mine, or is not commenting on it, and I think it's because of the afore mentioned weekly reporting. That and I have some 'leet alt+tab skills for when people walk by my desk.
Maybe I need a vacation? Ugh.
Thanks for listening (reading).
~Sassee~
The Eternally Frustrated Ninja Bunny
and you'll feel better. 
