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mum23 · Jun 7, 2007

No i'm not being sexist. I am after an honest reply.(hope this is the right forum)

My MC has just told her estranged hubby that his best mate has been 'offering himself to her on a plate.'

As a man, if your wife told you something like this, how would you react?
I can only assume a response but would appreciate a mans POV.
thanks.

Haggis · Jun 7, 2007

I'd want to have sex with her after she made me a sandwich.

newmod · Jun 7, 2007

Hi mum23. it all depends on the state of the relationship I guess. Is it working? Or not? Is he blissfully happy? Also what kind of person is he? Passive? Aggressive? Hot tempered? Brooding? His reaction could be anything to be honest, including the thing least expected.

I think the best thing is to ask yourself: what would THIS character do. Or more deviously, what works best for the plot?

seun · Jun 7, 2007

Well, I can't speak for all mankind unless they tell me I can at the next big meeting, so this only applies to me.
I'd be angry, hurt and then drunk. Then I'd have it out with the friend, see what he said and then probably never speak to either of them again

Bartholomew · Jun 7, 2007

I wouldn't say much of anything to her. I'd be miffed, certainly, but I would be completely refocused onto a new problem.

Heaven pity my "friend," though. I certainly won't.

newmod · Jun 7, 2007

Just had another thought, maybe he values his friend more than his wife and takes it out on her. How much does he trust his friend? Maybe he´d refuse to believe her, taking sides with his friend. Just thinking in type, maybe it´ll be of some use.

mum23 · Jun 7, 2007

Thanks guys. The character is 'not a nice man.' He has been drinking and is having an argument with his wife. They are seperated.
I have written ( what I think) is a strong scene, but I wondered if hearing that information would actually knock him sideways or enrage him even more. Certainly refocusing on another problem I can see that.
Thanks guys.

mum23 · Jun 7, 2007

newmod said:
Just had another thought, maybe he values his friend more than his wife and takes it out on her. How much does he trust his friend? Maybe he´d refuse to believe her, taking sides with his friend. Just thinking in type, maybe it´ll be of some use.

All we know is that he works for his friend and the friend has often been to his mates house for a meal. The friend made his intentions clear to the wife but she wouldn't do that to her husband, estranged or not.

In the heat of a row and being accused of having a fancy man, she let slip of the friends intentions. My character has obviously flipped but I just wondered whether he would actually be knocked sideways by it.

newmod · Jun 7, 2007

How does she tell him? In a stick the knife in kind of way, or "fcuk off and leave me alone, I didn´t do anything".

Why does she tell him? Is it because she knows how he ticks and that it will make him go and give the friend a hiding? Does she want that to happen to the friend? Or does she know it will make him go spare thinking about it, turning it over and over?

In the WIP does the hubby have a history of being physically violent?

newmod · Jun 7, 2007

oops, didn´t see your post before i pressed send!!!

mum23 · Jun 7, 2007

newmod said:
oops, didn´t see your post before i pressed send!!!

I do that ALL the time. Normally put my mouth into gear before i've thought about something. Is that the same? :tongue

newmod · Jun 7, 2007

I started typing, walked off, came back, finished typing, pressed send, and then saw your post. Not the first time, sure won´t be the last!

I´d say if he´s close to the friend he would be knocked sideways. His character would then determine his response I suppose.

Something else to consider may be his perception of his wife and their relationship. Maybe he assumes they´ll get back together, a statement like hers may make him realise that other people are interested in her (which perhaps he´d not considered or thought impossible) and that it´s not certain they´ll reconciliate. Such a realisation could knock him sideways and sober him up at the same time.

mum23 · Jun 7, 2007

Thanks for that. I appreciate it. I think i'm going to have to alter the argument and have him leave on that note. I'll see how that works.
I suppose any man (when still in love) would hope they'd get back together, but after giving his wife a good wallop, would she want to get back with him?
thanks ever so.

newmod · Jun 7, 2007

mum23 said:
but after giving his wife a good wallop, would she want to get back with him?
thanks ever so.

Unfortunately that´s the case in all too many instances.

No problem, just hope some of it helped.

rosebud1981 · Jun 7, 2007

Personally I'd be very angry with the friend if this happened. I don't think the wife has done anything wrong here. In fact she's been honest and upfront with him.
I'd go see my friend and see what he had to say. More than likely it would end our friendship and I'd quit my job (he's my boss, right?).
I probably wouldn't punch him or anything, not unless he had actually been harassing my wife to the point of physical abuse. But I would make it clear what I thought of him and that I'd want nothing to do with him ever again. :rant:

Now, if your character is "not a nice man" and has a drinking problem, then I think it more likely that he would resort to physical violence to show his friend what he thought of what he had done. Depending on if the friend showed remorse, he might just smack him once and walk away, or he might hit him continuously and lose the run of himself.

Hope that's some help

mum23 · Jun 7, 2007

Thanks again. There is obviously a lot of unseen back ground to the characters but some great suggestions. Thanks guys.

LloydBrown · Jun 7, 2007

Ever seen The Gauntlet?

I saw it on TV many years ago, but I'll never forget this dialog (even if I paraphrase the intro)

Clint Eastwood: I caught her [his wife] in bed with my best friend. So I shot her.
Sondra Locke: Her? What about him?
Clint Eastwood: He was my best friend.

Eudaemonic · Jun 7, 2007

Could lead to self-destructive behavior. I could imagine this guy storming out, poss breaking something on the way getting drunk, nursing the anger and resentment, getting in his car and going round to now EX best friends house and ramming his car poss parked in the driveway.
EX friend comes out to see what the crashes are. Fight scene. Neighbors call police, and both guys dragged away for questioning?
Sorry that's a bit of a cliche - but it does happen.
I dunno, it all depends on the guy.

Personally might go for a long sad walk to the beach and kick a few stones about in frustration and not want to see or speak to EX friend for a long time.
Not want to talk to anyone much for a couple of days. Just close off for a bit.

daemon

Summonere · Jun 7, 2007

Prior to split, in a state of blissful unawareness:

I would assume that telling is much more preferable to not telling, indicating a disinclination to an assignation.

Alternative:

Then again, it may indicate dissatisfaction, too, and prove warning of a spleet (which is apparently worse than a split, thus inflicting this typo).

Reaction:

Since you say they are separated, I imagine the husband would assume that this revelation of the pal "offering himself to her on a plate" isn't telling the whole truth, and that the plate has not merely been offered, but in fact has already been supped clean, and that this revelation is merely an intentional verbal and emotional stab after the fact, designed to inflict as much pain of cuckoldry as possible.

Example:

Now, a friend of mine having recently been through such a thing (non-drinker, and all around decent fellow), I can say in response to your other question that he really did love his wife and hoped she would come back. She didn't. He now abides in Elysium.

mum23 · Jun 7, 2007

LloydBrown said:
Ever seen The Gauntlet?

I saw it on TV many years ago, but I'll never forget this dialog (even if I paraphrase the intro)

Clint Eastwood: I caught her [his wife] in bed with my best friend. So I shot her.
Sondra Locke: Her? What about him?
Clint Eastwood: He was my best friend.

Excellent!

mum23 · Jun 7, 2007

Eudaemonic said:
Could lead to self-destructive behavior. I could imagine this guy storming out, poss breaking something on the way getting drunk, nursing the anger and resentment, getting in his car and going round to now EX best friends house and ramming his car poss parked in the driveway.
EX friend comes out to see what the crashes are. Fight scene. Neighbors call police, and both guys dragged away for questioning?
Sorry that's a bit of a cliche - but it does happen.
I dunno, it all depends on the guy.

Personally might go for a long sad walk to the beach and kick a few stones about in frustration and not want to see or speak to EX friend for a long time.
Not want to talk to anyone much for a couple of days. Just close off for a bit.

daemon

Dare I say he did walk out and drove his car into a wall. No serious damage. (to the car!)

mum23 · Jun 7, 2007

Summonere said:
Reaction:

Since you say they are separated, I imagine the husband would assume that this revelation of the pal "offering himself to her on a plate" isn't telling the whole truth, and that the plate has not merely been offered, but in fact has already been supped clean, and that this revelation is merely an intentional verbal and emotional stab after the fact, designed to inflict as much pain of cuckoldry as possible.

quote]

You may have apoint. Perhaps the MC has been treated so dispicably by her husband, she has been a little flirtatious with the friend (who happens to be an old school friend of hers who he asked out) That she yearns for her husband to treat her the way she hears her friend treats his female companions. It may could possibly have resulted in the friend picking up the confusing signs that women so often send out, that he made a pass. The MC is upset that the 'fantasy' could now be a reality and is out of her comfort zone.
All perhaps I hasten to add.

Legionsynch · Jun 7, 2007

If a wife is actually telling her husband about said offer, I'd be wondering what's going through the wife's head in the first place. Is she looking for a reaction, is she trying to dig at me? Or is she contemplating the offer seriously.

Women are crafty, man.

mum23 · Jun 7, 2007

Legionsynch said:
If a wife is actually telling her husband about said offer, I'd be wondering what's going through the wife's head in the first place. Is she looking for a reaction, is she trying to dig at me? Or is she contemplating the offer seriously.

Women are crafty, man.

In reality it hasn't happend. The estranged husband is accusing the wife of having an affair. The wife is mearly pointing out that if it was an affair she was after, his best mate was up for it. I suppose she was trying to show him she was a loyal wife, but not the best circumstance to show it.

ChunkyC · Jun 7, 2007

I'd just like to add another possible angle for his response with regards to his friend. Because his buddy is his boss, does he hold it in since he needs the job, and then it begins to fester? You know how guys often say, "I'd trust him with my life." Well, that trust has been shattered by what his ex said, even if it never happened. Had he had the guts to confront his buddy and get it out in the open, it could have been resolved, but like so many of us, he doesn't take that step and then the 'poison' has time to set in and begin to work on him.

Jes' one angle you could explore if you like....

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