View Full Version : The Ten Principles of Self-Sabotage

05-30-2007, 01:50 AM

In order to successfully fail at writing, you must rigidly follow these guidelines:

1) ALWAYS anticipate rejection. (You know you really aren’t good enough to write. Everyone else is, but not you. Spare yourself the embarrassment and give it up.)

2) NEVER believe in the quality of your work. (Theodore Dreiser was a much better writer than you, so why even bother?)

3) ALWAYS adhere fanatically to every published canon, tenet and imperative about what is “acceptable” and what isn’t. (You’re an ignorant newbie, so shut up and follow everyone else’s rules, even if they are arbitrary, contradictory and idiotic.)

4) NEVER think for yourself. (What do you know, anyway?)

5) ALWAYS set aside your own creative inclinations to follow those of others. (Their ideas are better, they’ve already had thirteen novels published, they’ve already had thirteen novels rejected, and what do you know, anyway?)

6) NEVER stand up for or defend yourself or your writing methods. (As a lowly aspiring writer, you have zero creds and no right to your own instincts.)

7) ALWAYS spend eight months agonizing over every preposition in a query letter. (That’s what everyone else does, so where do you get off questioning the wisdom of it?)

8) NEVER rebuff those who tell you what to do. (They’re all brilliant. You’re a cretin. Deal with it.)

9) ALWAYS accept every scrap of unsolicited advice from whatever source. (Bear in mind that if you don’t genuflect before every single agent, publisher, self-styled writing expert and your Aunt Millie’s cat you run the risk that someone will regard you as a sociopathic individualist. Unacceptable.)

10) NEVER entertain the idea that you might know what you’re doing. (Following your self-delineated path might actually get you published on your own terms, and that would be utterly, unreservedly intolerable.)


05-30-2007, 02:00 AM
How delightfully passive aggressive of you. :rolleyes:

05-30-2007, 02:04 AM
How delightfully passive aggressive of you.

Cutting a bit close to the bone, eh?
Well, all in good fun. ;)

05-30-2007, 02:07 AM
I will religiously follow these rules as if they are the 10 Commandments.

Thank you. =]


05-30-2007, 02:13 AM
The number one principle of self-sabotage is thinking you know more than agents, editors, and other professionals in the business.

No one wants to work with divas, whatever their gender. And the nice thing about being an editor is that you don't have to.

05-30-2007, 02:36 AM
Doing all that, I can only write one thing. Where is that six-word story thread...

05-30-2007, 02:53 AM
Lannie, please spare me the passive aggressive bitchy little rep points. If you don't want advice, you shouldn't ask for it.

05-30-2007, 02:54 AM
Can I kill the thread with one of my special pictures? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?

05-30-2007, 02:55 AM
No one wants to work with divas, whatever their gender.

And yet, James, you just can't seem to stop following me everywhere.

It is, as they say, a fascination.

:kiss: :heart:

05-30-2007, 03:00 AM
If you don't want advice, you shouldn't ask for it.

I didn't ask for it. You came here, as I recall... no?

Oh, incidentally, using a ponderous term such as "passive-aggressive" twice in as many posts is rather uninspired use of the language. You might want to watch that sort of thing in your writing. ;)

05-30-2007, 03:01 AM
Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?

Good afternoon, Ms. Peaches. Nice to see you again, but James got here first. :)

05-30-2007, 03:02 AM
Okay, I haven't been around enough to know what the subtext of this thread is all about, but it's ended now. I'm closing this thread.

Lannie, JAR is not following you around. He hangs out in the Roundtable quite a bit. As for you comment to the others, you need to back down. If something is going on, you need to report it to a mod rather than taking matters into your own hands.

AAdams, if something is going on behind the scenes, you also need to let a mod know.

05-30-2007, 06:20 AM
Would you guys quite derailing perfectly good threads?:D

Anyway, Birol, thanks for the Principles -- they're right on the mark. I shall print them out and hang them over my desk.

05-30-2007, 07:26 AM
Sorry, lfraser, but we don't continue threads that have been closed by the mods by starting a new thread. Merging your new thread with the previously closed thread.

Rolling Thunder
05-30-2007, 07:34 AM
*sneaks in, paints graffiti on thread wall*