There's squatters...everywhere....

Cook for them????

Been there. Cook really badly for them - they'll split. Actually, it tends to go only one way: you try to set ground rules for your own house and you become the big meanie, the badguy ... in your own house. Anyone who can't respect that needs the boot ASAP.

I'm always the one crashing at other people's houses so I wouldn't know.

Have you tried setting mouse traps?

Shoot one. The rest will take care of themselves and flee.

If you are low on ammo, just start staring intently at one of them and then ask, just outloud, to no-one and everyone, "Does anyone know how to get blood out of soft furnishing?" Once again, the problem should resolve itself. Frankly anyone who stays after that really needs to be culled from the gene pool as they clearly have no sense of self preservation.

SpookyWriter said:

Have you tried setting mouse traps?

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OOOW! There's an idea! Though I'm thinking bear traps.

Actually again, you really only need one. When the first one bleeds out, anyone still hanging around should be asked for assistance moving the corpse (or skinning if you want a nice talking point throw rug) and hey-presto no more freeloaders!

Start holding religious meetings at your home. Lots of people dressed in crimplene safari suits and socks with sandals, all casting out lots of deeeemonnnnssss and that general sort of carry-on. Of course then the problem is they might start making themselves at home as well.

Tell them you're calling their parents. When they think you're bluffing, do it.

1) Pretend you have some sort of really itchy and contagious disease. (cough a lot for added emphasis).

2) Tell them you're having the house fumigated.

3) Tell them your 'uncle the cop' is coming for a nice long visit.

4) I guess if it really comes down to it, leave and really get the house fumigated -- no more guests (not alive guests anyway)

Oh my this has taken a very morbid turn -- I'm out. Good luck from someone who's been there.

~ Jennifer

More keep coming because you don't tell them "no" when they get there. Word spreads around that "hey, Tsuki will let you sleep over for a night no problem" and so more people keep coming after you've kicked the last ones out. Give em an inch and they walk all over you... there's a reason that line is so overused. It's true.

If you don't want to be totally heartless and kick them out forever and ever, start telling people there's certain nights they can't sleep over. Or something. Put a limit on it of some kind and ween them off of staying in your house/apartment/whatever.

But, if you truly don't mind them being there and are just venting a little, don't do anything

Poison them. Dispose of the bodies creatively. Then write a book about it.

TsukiRyoko said:

10 punk rock squatter kids running around everywhere.

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Play Celine Dion. Repeatedly. Loudly.

Give them some housework to do. Tell them you need volunteers to scrub the trash can, the bathtubs and toilets, the litter pans, scoop all the dog poop from the yard, clean the attic or garage, anything gross and unpleasant you can think of. If that doesn't work, ask which one of them left crabs on the toilet seat.

southernwriter said:

Give them some housework to do. Tell them you need volunteers to scrub the trash can, the bathtubs and toilets, the litter pans, scoop all the dog poop from the yard, clean the attic or garage, anything gross and unpleasant you can think of. If that doesn't work, ask which one of them left crabs on the toilet seat.

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Tools and paint, also get a lot of plants, everyone who stays works...period. Want to stay 8 hours, give two hours of work.

aadams73 said:

Poison them. Dispose of the bodies creatively. Then write a book about it.

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Paging Mr. King...Mr. King? Ah..Mr. King...we have a script we'de like you to read...tried & true....Spielberg you say? Nah. Peter Jackson. He's great with orcs.

dub said:

Tools and paint, also get a lot of plants, everyone who stays works...period. Want to stay 8 hours, give two hours of work.

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I was going to say that--get outa my head, Dub..come up with your own ideas ...

Actually, Tsuk, I like what you're doing. When I left home at 16, it would have been nice to have somewhere to put my head at night and not have to sleep with an ex-boyfriend's semi .45...yeah...you all assume I'm the vampy princess, but this gal knows how to pull a trigger--and likes it!

I agree with the above poster...give 'em chores. I would have painted, cleaned, babysat....it gives a person a sense of purpose, a feeling they're contributing. You don't have to come across as 'mom', but more of 'hey, I need some help around here..who knows how to do....' you'd be surprise who's great at cooking, who prefers to take out the trash because they HATE cooking, who'll help with windows, or mowing...

But don't tear down your walls. One day, one of those 'kids' might be the one providing the living room floor/couch for the next bunch.

If it REALLY becomes a hanger-on situation, what I used to do, when I took in strays, is encourage them to start filling out job applications anywhere that was near. They didn't have to worry about paying rent while waiting for that first paycheck--something landlords don't understand the mechanics of--and when they get a few under their belt, while contributing towards food and toiletries, not only has their self worth gone up...but they start wanting their own place. You've given them somewhere that they can get a few paychecks under their belt towards deposits, or even hook up with a few others and move into a place together.

And if you've 'been there, done that', then whom better to be camp counselor and guide them towards independence? Because, at the end of the day, that's what we all truly want.

karey

Bmwhtly said:

Play Celine Dion. Repeatedly. Loudly.

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Oooooo, good one. So clever, I wish I'd said that.

~ Jennifer

It's West Viginia, Tsuki. Whaddaya expect?

My FIL is a squatter in WV. Yep, moved in with his uncle, the uncle died, he stayed on in the house. Been there for years; we still don't know who owns the house. There's squatters all in them dam hills!

Barry Manilow works too...Neil Diamond. If they start singing along, well....might as well pull out the marshmallows and have yourself a roast...pretend you're girl scouts & bond. hehehhe.

Or go over to the Cabaret, and get yourself a stiff one...