View Full Version : etiquette? proper introductions

05-27-2007, 10:54 PM
Hi, everybody,
I'm wondering about a situation where an older person (perhaps 70-ish)wants to introduce two of her friends to each other. How would she decided which one to mention first?

Would it be like ... introducing the boy to the girl ... Lexi, I'd like you to meet my paperboy, Chase. Chase, this is my granddaughter, Lexi

Or would it be the other way arround?

Given both of her friends are about the same age and social status ...

Appreciate your thoughts!

05-28-2007, 12:53 AM
Hi Hoosier - I've never seen anything to indicate the age of the introducer has anything to do with it. It's always been ladies before gentlemen and (significantly) older before younger. If the two in question are about the same age and same sex I don't think it matters which one is introduced first. Puma

Silver King
05-28-2007, 12:55 AM
The proper way would be to first introduce the friend she is with to the friend who is arriving. If they all happen to arrive at a location at the same time, it shouldn't matter who gets mentioned first.

Come to think of it, what difference does it make? As long as they all have a good time, no one will feel slighted.

05-28-2007, 03:05 AM
Once upon a time when the earth was young and full of magic certain manners were observed. Among these are how to introduce people.

1) Between males the older person is introduced first. The same goes for female to female introductions.
If the two are equal in age the female is introduced first.
If two males of the same age are introduced, the one known to the person doing the introduction as having the higher social position is introduced first.

If, for example two presidents are introduced for the first time each extends his hand immediately after the introduction.

2) Between male and female the female is always introduced to the male regardless of age.

3) Upon introduction betwen a male and a female, the female may elect to shake hands. The option is hers. If she doesn not offer her hand then it is inappropriate for the male to offer his. A male never takes the hand of a female without permission. In every instance the courtesy is to the female. Likewise if there is no good reason for the female not to shake hands it's considered poor behavior on her part.

4) If any of these rules is broken for any reason it is very bad form to remark on it. Never be the cause of embarrassment either privately or publicly.


05-28-2007, 08:36 AM
that the shaking hands rule was still taught in North America.

Every time I visit Canada or the US I am introduced to some great hulking chap, and although I do not extend my hand to him, he grabs my hand, and pumps it up and down, squeezing hard to prove he's a true blue male.

I am then unable to type for a few days because the stupid twerp has upset my RSI/OOS. (What ever you call it.) If he's a strapping great hearty bloke then I can't even hold a cup or a knife. It only takes one crushing handshake to start the pins and needles and ouchy nerves shrieking.

Canadians ought to know better. I suspect they're picking up bad habits from their neighbours. :)

I would like to add to city mouse's excellent discourse on the rules as they were when I was a girl, that a woman was NOT held rude for withholding her hand. It was accepted that ladies had delicate nerves and tender little paws!

Back then it was not a rebuff or a rejection of the person introduced if a woman did not shake hands. When a woman did not wish to be introduced to a person, because of their bad reputation, religion, race or politics, she would either turn away or look right through and pretend not to hear the introduction but make some comment like "What a lovely day it's been."

05-28-2007, 04:32 PM
Would it be like ... introducing the boy to the girl ... Lexi, I'd like you to meet my paperboy, Chase. Chase, this is my granddaughter, Lexi
The grandmother would introduce the non-family guest to her family member, in essence "inviting him in" to a closer degree of intimacy: "Chase, this is my granddaughter, Lexi. Lexi, this is Chase, my paperboy." In Lexi's case their relationship is given before her name; in Chase's case, his name comes before his occupation. Now Lexi can decide whether a simple nod or smile will serve, and/or whether she wishes to offer Chase her hand. The formality level of her verbal greeting is up to you. :)