Stupid telemarketers...

I've known people who've worked as telemarketers. I know it's popular to say, "They're only doing their job," but really...they chose to do that job, no-one made them. A woman I spoke to who worked for a bank as a cold-caller selling mortgages and the like said it was the worst job she'd ever had as they were told to keep pushing, pushing, pushing and it didn't make people buy anything, it just made them cranky and hang up at best, or shout abuse and demand to speak to the bank manager at worst.

Whoever trains these people needs to realise softly softly sellee double-glazingee.

You should complain about them to the BBB (better business bureau). That there is what's known as sexual discrimination... not even kidding.

Telemarketers are EBIL. EBIL I say.

I'd have been pissed off because of the whole "your husband has to be there" thing. In reality, those people are better off dealing with me because my husband tends to scare the crap out of people without even trying.

As an aside, I did telemarketing in high school (it was the worst job ever and I quit after 3 weeks) and they try to keep you on the phone as long as possible because it increases their chance of making the sale. I swear to God, that's what they told us at the orientation for the job. Also, the longer they keep you on the phone, the better it looks to their supervisor, who keeps track of phone-call lengths.

It was a horrible, horrible, horrible job - i wouldn't wish it on anyone...


well - maybe a few people i really don't like, but that's it.

I've had three telemarketing calls today!

Remember the email that came out, what 20 years ago, where you reply this is a crime scene and this is Officer So and so, how did you know this person, what relationship do have and for them to give you their address because their sending an investigator over to question them, and don't hang up because they'll find them?

It works great on the younger generation of telemarketers.

I had a call from someone claiming to be with my bank once; they asked for my personal details to 'verify my identity'. The conversation went something like this:

Idiot: Hello, this is Jane Q. Wanker from Clydesdale and we're making some marketing calls today, can I ask for your name and post code to verify your identity?

Me: Don't you know who I am?

Idiot: Yes, but I need you to identify yourself for security reasons.

Me: But you called me. You already have my details.

Idiot: But you could be someone else.

Me: So could you. How do I know you're from my bank? What's my account number?

Idiot: I'm afraid I can't give that information over the phone.

Me: Then why should I tell you my personal details?

Idiot: Because we can't help you otherwise.

Me: I never asked for your help. What is this phone call about anyway?

Idiot: We're making some marketing calls to see how we can better serve our customers.

Me: Yeah, here's a good idea. Stop fucking calling me asking if I know my own name. *hangs up*

I think Jerry Seinfeld had a great response. Ask the telemarketer for their name and phone number so you can call them back. When they tell you that they can't/won't give out that information because they don't want you calling them, you say, "Now you know how I feel." And hang up.

Of course, it was a lot funnier when he said it <sigh>

As a person who's made a living in sales before, let me explain exactly why they try to beat into you the fact that both people have to be there:

There's an infinite difference between knowing enough to want to buy the product, and knowing enough to make someone else want to buy it.

And what I mean is this:

If they take the time and energy of a live sales guy to come to your house, and only one of the two decision makers is there, then they're pretty much guaranteed one thing: no sale. The person on hand may not like the product, and can get out with an easy "well, I can't buy it because my significant other isn't here." OR the person on hand might like it a LOT, but can't really sell it to their significant other, which means ANOTHER sales trip to close the deal (at best) or ANOTHER chance to lose the sale (at worst).

Why don't they just tell you that then? It's like banging your head against a brick wall dealing with these people sometimes.

DeborahM said:

I've had three telemarketing calls today!

Remember the email that came out, what 20 years ago, where you reply this is a crime scene and this is Officer So and so, how did you know this person, what relationship do have and for them to give you their address because their sending an investigator over to question them, and don't hang up because they'll find them?

It works great on the younger generation of telemarketers.

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I bet it worked on anyone who called my wife's phone for the 2-3 days that the battery was still alive. I'd call her phone (which had been taken as evidence) to check voice mails, and the detective would answer the phone, to see who was calling her.

scarletpeaches said:

Why don't they just tell you that then? It's like banging your head against a brick wall dealing with these people sometimes.

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Well, THAT'S because they're working with a script and not only (in most cases) are too stupid to talk to you outside the script and still get a sale, but have been HAMMERED by their bosses everytime they go off script (for reason just specified). They'd quite literally get reprimanded or fired for spending the time to explain to you why they have to get the information just so.

I generally tell them if I want the product/service, I'll call them and hang up.

Of course, I really love it when a credit card company, outservices their marketing calls and they are trying to sell, say a credit report service anytime a company searches your credit, and you already have that service with that cc company.

Sales people can be fun.

One Friday, and I remember it vividly as it was just after the first Gulf War had started and I was watching it on telly, this vacuum-cleaner salesman turned up. He'd do our lounge carpet for $10 and in so doing demonstrate the cleaner.

I regarded him with a bit of suspicion, as he looked kind of like a hang-over from the punk era who'd made an attempt at professionalism with a shiney old second-hand suit. But I thought what the hell, the carpet was stuffed anyway and we'd been intending to re-carpet.

Anyway, I resumed my perch on the couch to watch the unfolding news on telly, while he got going. Well, he did about two square feet, had a stretch, and sat down next to me. Then opened one of my stubbies of beer, and helped himself to some snack food. Well, there was something about the guy I quite liked. He was a rather good conversationalist.

So this went on for hours, and we were both getting a bit tipsy... anyway, at some point the phone went and it's this guy's boss, sounding really pissed off. How the hell he knew where to phone I don't know, but I fudged it a bit and made out that this guy was doing a bloody marvellous job.

Anyway, well into the evening I paid the guy his $10 after he'd basically cleaned me out of about $50 of beer and food, and off he went to the pub to spend the wages of his sin. I shudder to think of his employment status the next day. And the state of our carpet... jeez!

It was the most enjoyable vacuum cleaner demo I've ever had by miles.

Or chuggers. (Charity muggers).

A whole, long spiel with me going, "How much do you want? How much? HOW. MUCH?"

"Blah blah blah poverty, starving children, abused puppies, mentally ill starving people having sex with chickens, blah blah, have to do something..."

Okay. HOW MUCH? Just cut to the f***ing chase, boy!

I get those at Wal-Mart all the time.

Them
"Donate for teen violence?"

Me
"No thanks, I'm against that."


"Donation for breast cancer?"
"No, I hate breast cancer. Why would I give it money?"


And those non-english-speaking women in fake nurse outfits? There are days I'd rather punch them in the nose than do anything else. But I don't. They're just doing the only job they're qualified for, I guess. Looking sad and illegitimate in front of Wal-Mart, begging.

I can't remember a telemarketer ever getting more than 10 seconds of my time.

99% of calls... "Why are you calling at dinner time?"
the other 1%... "I'm busy."

Done.

Although we are "On the list" a few still slip through. I take the honest approach and attempt get them to committ to a first rights copy of their script which I can incorporate into my book on telemarketing. I will happily allow them to purchase copies of the manuscript. If they will send me a check or money order I can guarantee they will get a letter from me within 25 hours of receipt of their payment. Usually, by the time I quit talking they hang up.

I got a telemarketing call a few years ago from a credit card company (this was before I signed up for the 'Do not call' list -- now I only get telemarketing recordings telling me to call them back) where the gentleman on the other end of the phone would not take 'no' for an answer.

I said "I'm not interested" some three times before I finally hung up the phone. Every time I said I wasn't interested, the guy would stop for a moment, say, "Uh," and then keep right on going.

After the third or fourth call I told them not to call me again. They called me again, the very next day.

When I signed up for the 'Do Not Call' list, they quit calling, but then immediately I started getting junk mail from the same company.

Anything, I guess, to get money, even if I DON'T WANT THEIR PRODUCT!

Sheesh!

If there weren't folks out there buying from telemarketers, they'd give up.

Unfortunately, there are LOTS of folks out there buying from telemarketers... that's why they'll never, ever die.

I just can't understand why anyone WOULD buy from a telemarketer.

"Aw, gee, when I got up this morning I wasn't planning on buying a conservatory, but since you asked..." ???

scarletpeaches said:

I just can't understand why anyone WOULD buy from a telemarketer.

"Aw, gee, when I got up this morning I wasn't planning on buying a conservatory, but since you asked..." ???

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I would imagine it would be for the sole purpose of getting the telemarketer to shut up.

I have little sympathy for telemarketers. Little, not none. I have a tiny amount of sympathy for them because I was one, and dclary's right: their job is a lot tougher than it sounds.

Here's my top secret method for shutting up telemarketers...

...hang up! It's instant, and it doesn't cost a dime!