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preyer
05-21-2007, 06:50 PM
of 2006-2007 are:

i nominate as absolutely worst movie 'diary of a cannibal.' in addition, it gets worst director as it's obvious ulli lommel thinks he can splice together cheap video (honestly, some of it looks filmed on VHS) snips, put them in black and white, and show the same shot *repeatedly* throughout the movie at random intervals over the backdrop of bad synthetic opera-esque music.

awful, pure awful. and i so love bad horror films, too, but this turkey has to crawl up from the shit pit to be called terrible. while we do see extended close-ups of the girl's nipples (for some reason, not that it wasn't the only part of the movie i wasn't complaining about), there's nothing to even laugh at except one particularly bad shot where the guy's severed head is blacked out by such a cheap 'special' effect it warrants mention. it's one of those movies where an hour and a half feels like three.

the sets are ridiculous, too. the hospital literally looks like a warehouse, the 'medical equipment' consists entirely of a small oxygen tank. seriously, that's it, nothing more, a small o2 tank. no less than seven or eight minutes at the beginning are taken up by highway traffic filmed from the RV. just vehicles driving along, no kids in the next car, nothing interesting. the main set is another warehouse done up in cheap props probably borrowed from the director's house and bad artwork.

you could literally created a more intelligible and cohesive movie by taking individual clips, shaking them up in a big barrel, pulling out random bits and splicing them together.

need i talk about the acting? er, 'acting'? it consists of endless puppy dog looks from the two lovers and a bizarre lack of dialogue. what dialogue there is is repeated at least once more, often in the very next sentence spoken.

honestly, i think the entire thing was filmed in a week. at most. there are minutes where nothing but the lovers do but stare at one another, are on the beach, or her walking around the desert in the shortest possible mini-skirt possible.

the idea was to provide a case for cannibalism, though it explores absolutely nothing about it, poses no questions, offers no insight. like chapter headings, biblical quotes are inserted for no apparent reason and have no bearing on the story whatsoever.

a bad, bad, bad movie is putting it lightly. normally i'd say check it out *because* it's so bad, but this sucker is simply unwatchable in every possible way.

therefore, i give you the worst movie of the year (or of any other, actually). what's yours?

eric11210
05-21-2007, 07:28 PM
Hollywood chainsaw hookers. I don't remember much about it except how bad it was. The only line I remember because it was so ridiculous was the "dance of the double chainsaws." And in my defense, I saw it when I was in high school and friend rented it, saying he'd "heard it was good." :Shrug:

And while on the subject, I know Plan Nine from Outer Space is the classic bad movie that's supposed to be fun to watch because it's so bad, but honestly, I was just bored. . .

Eric

preyer
05-21-2007, 07:46 PM
yeah, 'plan nine' was boring, made only slightly interesting after watching 'ed wood.' but, i'm trying to keep this not as an all-time bad movie thread, rather movies, directors, actors, etc., of the past year just to keep things current. hm, what was ewu boll's (who is spielberg in comparison to lommel, who, ironically, has more than 30 years 'experience' directing) latest submission?

Writer2011
05-23-2007, 12:40 AM
Rhustler's Rhapsody--worst movie of all time---I take that back.... Ishtar :)

TheGaffer
05-23-2007, 06:10 AM
Spike Lee's Bamboozled. Terrible. Awful.

Vanilla Sky. Dreadful piece of shit.

Nurse Betty. G-d, this is terrible.

Young Guns. Reprehensible. Shitty.

That's all off the top of my head.

Backward Masking
05-23-2007, 06:26 AM
The Village: A movie that, if I'm ever forced to watch again, will bring about very serious consequences for anybody in a 50 mile radius. Not a joke by any means.

Ultraviolet: Kurt Wimmer brought us Equilibrium, which was a good, decent movie. Then, this pile of trash came along and ruined the magic.

Gravity
05-23-2007, 07:14 AM
Manos, the Hands of Fate. Close poll. Thank you.

plaidearthworm
05-23-2007, 07:30 AM
Cycle Vixens. The badness of that movie haunts me to this day. That and Battlefield Earth.

Writer2011
05-23-2007, 08:55 AM
One word: Frankenfish :)

jvc
05-23-2007, 07:32 PM
I know a lot of people loved this film, but I really hated Kill Bill (vol.1). Never saw the other Kill Bill film, the first was just too bad for me to want to put myself through the pain.

aka eraser
05-23-2007, 10:44 PM
Chasing Amy. Loathsome characters playing at hipper-than-thou. Gag me.

Tiger
05-23-2007, 11:00 PM
"Cabinboy"
"Waterboy"

pconsidine
05-23-2007, 11:37 PM
Manos, the Hands of Fate. Close poll. Thank you. Are you really allowed to cite a movie that's been done by MST3K? I mean, it does kinda give it some redeeming value.

To me, there is no Worst Movie - there are just bad movies that I can think of at the moment. For example, right now the worst movie I can think of is The Player. I found it so incredibly dull, it took me three tries to get more than 20 minutes into it. All kinds of irritatingly self-referential, in a sickeningly postmodern kind of way. Absolutely nothing to love there.

Silverhand
05-24-2007, 02:56 AM
My Boyfriends Back
Catwoman

Both of these movies are so bad, I actually had to walk out of the theatre. I Imagine others have done this, too...but for me walking out has only happened twice in my whole life. :)

Silver King
05-24-2007, 03:49 AM
I may have mentioned this in another "worst" thread, but John Waters' Pink Flamingos gets my vote. Eating dog excrement and having carnal knowledge with chickens aren't the worst of it.

Recently, I had the misfortune of sitting through another Waters classic, Polyester. It reconfirmed my astonishment that he ever managed to make the leap to quasi mainstream films.

Novelust
05-24-2007, 03:58 AM
Tangent: John Waters did a little filmed one-man show called 'This Filthy World,' where he talks about his early days as a filmmaker - it's actually really interesting.

dclary
05-24-2007, 04:13 AM
Rhustler's Rhapsody--worst movie of all time---I take that back.... Ishtar :)

You better take that back. Rustler's Rhapsody was AWESOME.

dclary
05-24-2007, 04:14 AM
Young Guns. Reprehensible. Shitty.


You are dead to me.

Novelust
05-24-2007, 04:15 AM
Preyer, are you a Uwe Boll enthsiast as well?

Uwe Boll's movies are the opposite of brilliance. I don't mean stupidity, but actual negative brilliance - like they're sucking goodness and inspiration from the world with every frame.

Alone in the Dark opens with two minutes of scrolling text, then flashes back to show you what it's just told you, then cuts ahead to a five minute chase sequence that seems totally unmotivated. Tara Reid as an archaeologist is painful. And the love scene?

Uwe Boll's love scenes... they're very special to me. They are wooden, uncomfortable, and again, usually unmotivated. (Except by the backers looking at their watches and deciding there should be some tits at the sixty-minute mark.) I would actually give the vote for most horrific to Bloodrayne. Kristanna Lokken has sex up against the bars of a jail cell - I can't do the awkwardness justice with description alone. It's awful. Both actors look like they're concentrating on not falling over. Oh, and do watch for Ben Kingsley's towering performance as the actor who had a three-day hole in his schedule, wrapped his stuff as fast as possible, and was played by a stunt double every time he wasn't speaking!

I hope the Germans don't close that tax loophole any time soon.

Silver King
05-24-2007, 04:21 AM
Tangent: John Waters did a little filmed one-man show called 'This Filthy World,' where he talks about his early days as a filmmaker - it's actually really interesting.
I saw that! It is very interesting. I don't dislike him by any means, though I do find it fascinating he was able to rise above his early work to pull together some decent films.

TheGaffer
05-24-2007, 06:37 AM
You are dead to me.

The odd thing is, I kinda enjoyed Young Guns II.



Uwe Boll's movies are the opposite of brilliance. I don't mean stupidity, but actual negative brilliance - like they're sucking goodness and inspiration from the world with every frame.


Indeed they are. And the Bloodrayne sex scene is indeed dreadful.

dclary
05-24-2007, 07:02 AM
The odd thing is, I kinda enjoyed Young Guns II.



I thought Young Guns was one of the best movies of that year. The only thing I didn't like about it was Jack Palance. And for the life of me, I will never know if I hated him because he was so god damned awful, or because he was such a fantastic actor he made me hate him.

pconsidine
05-24-2007, 07:58 PM
And therein lies the magic of Jack Palance.

Frankly, I have undying gratitude for City Slickers, if for no other reason than it took away the bad aftertaste of Jack's hosting Ripley's Believe It or Not.