please help to find a wee girl who is missing

This story has been massively publicised and followed in the UK.
For the latest, you can follow the news here.

I sincerely hope they find her. I wouldn't wish this on any parent, but I have to ask: Why, Why, WHY did they ever leave a 4 year old and two babies alone in an apartment?

K1P1 said:

I sincerely hope they find her. I wouldn't wish this on any parent, but I have to ask: Why, Why, WHY did they ever leave a 4 year old and two babies alone in an apartment?

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That was exactly my reaction!!!

thethinker42 said:

That was exactly my reaction!!!

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Mine too, but with more curse words.

Yeah, I'm trying to put myself in their place. Would I leave my children, alone and sleeping, to go to a party three houses down?

I just wouldn't. I can't even think of a scenario that would make it seem okay.

That said, if something terrible were to happen in my life, I wonder how my judgements would looked filleted from their context. Humiliation and vilification heaped on top of horror is too devastating to imagine.

I despair at the amount of time that has passed. It's so awful.

This story's been on the NY news as well and I keep thinking the same thing. I would never, ever, ever leave my kids alone in a hotel room of all places. I don't like to leave them alone so I can take the garbage out. I won't even leave them alone in the car while I dash in to the local CVS.

Two weeks is forever if this little girl has been abducted. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she is found unharmed.

K1P1 said:

I have to ask: Why, Why, WHY did they ever leave a 4 year old and two babies alone in an apartment?

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The usual reasons: It's a family friendly resort. They were only a hundred yards away. They were checking on them regularly.
I suspect the main reason is that they weren't expecting her to go missing.

Bmwhtly said:

The usual reasons: It's a family friendly resort. They were only a hundred yards away. They were checking on them regularly.
I suspect the main reason is that they weren't expecting her to go missing.

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No such thing as, family friendly, anymore. Those days, are long gone.

I think they were closer than that, as if that makes a difference. Stupid is; stupid does.

aadams73 said:

Mine too, but with more curse words.

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Bet I could out-do on those.

Perks said:

Yeah, I'm trying to put myself in their place. Would I leave my children, alone and sleeping, to go to a party three houses down?

I just wouldn't. I can't even think of a scenario that would make it seem okay.

That said, if something terrible were to happen in my life, I wonder how my judgements would looked filleted from their context. Humiliation and vilification heaped on top of horror is too devastating to imagine.

I despair at the amount of time that has passed. It's so awful.

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They were having dinner. But, you're correct, there isn't a scenario that makes it okay. Not in this day and age. I probably wouldn't leave my pup alone.

On the flip-side, I'm guessing their hindsight is working perfectly.

Jersey Chick said:

This story's been on the NY news as well and I keep thinking the same thing. I would never, ever, ever leave my kids alone in a hotel room of all places. I don't like to leave them alone so I can take the garbage out. I won't even leave them alone in the car while I dash in to the local CVS.

Two weeks is forever if this little girl has been abducted. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she is found unharmed.

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It made international news. They're saying it has to do w/ a pedophile ring and that they'd been watching her. Shoot the bastards, when they find 'em.

Depending on the age of your kids, it's against the law to leave them in the car. Not saying that you would.

I'm sure the resort publicized itself as a family place and encouraged them to think it was safe, and I HOPE I wouldn't leave my kid alone (if I had one), but we're not in the situation.

I do know that when parents come with their children, which we allow during the day, to the members' club and hotel where I work, I'm frequently asked if the kids can just play downstairs while Mr and Mrs PoshMedia have lunch upstairs. I keep telling them we are not responsible for their children, and often I get a shrug and a decision to leave them anyway.

Now, this place is a club and it is quite safe in terms of stranger-danger (children being harmed/abducted by strangers as opposed to family is still much rarer than most of us think), but very often I and my colleagues have come across very small children, left alone, pushing open the street door (if they do it when our backs are turned, we're screwed), playing in the lifts (elevators), running around where waiters come out with hot food, etc, etc.

I've noticed this in other catering jobs I've had; having to tell parents that 'the company of strangers' doesn't add up to one big baby-sitter. The urge of some parents - affluent, intelligent, big-hitter types most of them - to adbicate responsibility for their children in a social setting constantly amazes me. Every single one of my current colleagues has commented on it.

I guess if it seems to work OK, you just keep doing it, and for the vast majority, it always does.

Jean Marie said:

No such thing as, family friendly, anymore. Those days, are long gone.

I think they were closer than that, as if that makes a difference. Stupid is; stupid does.


Bet I could out-do on those.


They were having dinner. But, you're correct, there isn't a scenario that makes it okay. Not in this day and age. I probably wouldn't leave my pup alone.

On the flip-side, I'm guessing their hindsight is working perfectly.


It made international news. They're saying it has to do w/ a pedophile ring and that they'd been watching her. Shoot the bastards, when they find 'em.

Depending on the age of your kids, it's against the law to leave them in the car. Not saying that you would.

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Even if it was perfectly legal, I'd never do it. Did you ever take a 6 year old and a 19 month old to the post office? It can be a nightmare and the idea of just leaving them for a moment is soooo tempting. But I'd never do it.

It's terrible that these parents had to learn the hard way - but part of being a parent is that you make sacrifices. I'd love to have a nice, quiet dinner in a restaurant, to eat hot food while it's still hot. So if my husband and I want to do that, we hire a babysitter. If we're on vacation, it's too bad. We eat with the kids and deal with it. If you don't want to, leave the kids at home with a sitter or a grandparent. Common sense. I'd rather deal with the noise and cold food than the thought of never seeing my daughter again, of knowing that, had I been there, it might never have happened.

This pair are extra-stupid when you read this:

"The Ocean Club resort offered a creche service but the couple decided to leave Madeleine and two-year-old twins Sean and Amelie sleeping in the apartment."

From here.

I said this on a different thread but I can say it again here.

If the parents were a couple of 18 year old chavs on holiday for a piss up and they had left their kids alone, they would have been nailed by the British Press, but a couple of middle-class doctors do the same, the Press don't say much about it.

I saw this article a few days ago and it absolutely slaughtered me! The ignorance of some people - I couldn't believe that the parents would be so absolutely addle brained as to leave the child un-attended. It might be different if the parents could see the child sleeping from where they sat, actually watch her (even then it's madness to do this!)...I won't leave my child unattended at all. Jersey Chick, you are my kind of mom! Parenting isn't about what the parent wants, but what's best for the child.

I hope the little girl come homes safely but I fear the worst. It's a sick world we live in and too much time has gone by...

People who hurt children should be skewered and hung over a pit of hot coals. No mercy.

aadams73 said:

Mine too, but with more curse words.

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Ditto.

In the British press, there seems to be the attitude that if you criticise them for leaving their kids alone you're saying they deserve it which is absolutely not true.

I wouldn't dream of leaving children alone in an apartment; I don't care how near or far away I was. It just boggles the mind that anyone would consider doing that in this day and age...because they were on holiday, maybe? You do things abroad you wouldn't do at home?

Like seun said, if they were pissed-up chavs the media would go to town on them.

And I bet other people have this thought in their mind: she ain't coming home.

Blunt, I know, but we've seen this happen far too often. Children who are away for this long don't come back.

Prayers and thoughts are with her and her family. So hope she is found, safe and fine.

I really feel for little Madelaine and hope to God that she hasn't been taken by some sicko child molester; that she is safe somewhere, even if not with her family. Bless her.

But I totally agree with Seun. If these parents had been from a lower class background, they would have been hounded to hell in the newspapers. They would also get their other children taken away by the social services.

I have not one bit of sympathy for the parents and I won't be dipping my hand in my pocket for them to stay over there. They've even got their priest over there from Liverpool???

seun said:

I said this on a different thread but I can say it again here.

If the parents were a couple of 18 year old chavs on holiday for a piss up and they had left their kids alone, they would have been nailed by the British Press, but a couple of middle-class doctors do the same, the Press don't say much about it.

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Of all the high profile missing child cases I can recall, only two had happy endings - Elizabeth Smart, and the boy in Missouri whose name I can't recall. Only two. Those odds suck.

I think the statistics bear out that after the first 24 hours, the chances of finding the child safe and sound drop dramatically. That doesn't bode well. Not at all. Of course, I don't want it to end badly, nor do I think these parents deserve it. They acted without thinking, without considering the consquences of their actions, and yes, selfishly. Do I think it should cost them the life or safety of their child? No. I would never wish that on any parent. If they are truly loving parents (and though this was the height of stupidity, I'm going to say they are for argument's sake), they will suffer with the thoughts of "what if" for the rest of their lives.

Right now it isn't about them. It's about finding this little girl. The authorities (or the equivalent) have time enough to deal with the idiocy of her parents.

annieb said:

Morning folks, a tad off topic, and not very pleasant. Forgive.
...
There is a website just set up if you want any more info – findingmadeleine.com –Please help find Madeleine and pray for her safe return.


thanks

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This has certainly been in the news:
"Millions visit missing girl site"

http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/05/18/portugal.missing.child.reut/index.html

Jersey Chick said:

Even if it was perfectly legal, I'd never do it. Did you ever take a 6 year old and a 19 month old to the post office? It can be a nightmare and the idea of just leaving them for a moment is soooo tempting. But I'd never do it.

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I was in line on a Saturday morning at the Post Office when two kids, maybe age 4 and 5, began running around having fun screaming and opening and shutting doors to large PO boxes (I think the PO leaves the key in them if they're currently unused or some such, so they can be opened and closed from the outside). I was VERY tempted to step out of line and yell "Hey, kids, let's go play outside! Wanna go play outside?" and see if THAT got the attention of the parent, wherever she was (likely standing in line somewhere behind me). I have little doubt I would have been arrested as a kidnapper/predator even though it would have been obvious to most of the dozen+ adults present that I was trying to make peace in the place and/or make a point about the parent(s) letting the kids run loose.

benbradley said:

I was in line on a Saturday morning at the Post Office when two kids, maybe age 4 and 5, began running around having fun screaming and opening and shutting doors to large PO boxes (I think the PO leaves the key in them if they're currently unused or some such, so they can be opened and closed from the outside). I was VERY tempted to step out of line and yell "Hey, kids, let's go play outside! Wanna go play outside?" and see if THAT got the attention of the parent, wherever she was (likely standing in line somewhere behind me). I have little doubt I would have been arrested as a kidnapper/predator even though it would have been obvious to most of the dozen+ adults present that I was trying to make peace in the place and/or make a point about the parent(s) letting the kids run loose.

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I've seen them as well - all over the place. However, on the other side - I've been in stores and my daughter thinks it's great fun to hide in the clothes racks and play "Secret Agent". I spend half my life yanking her out. I swatted her butt once and got a few nasty looks in response. I kid you not, I honestly waited for DYFS to show up (DYFS is NJ's joke of a Division of Youth and Family Services, for those who might not know the acronym). That got my point across. I think a lot of parents try too hard to be a friend to their kids instead of a parent. My daughter loves to pull the old "I don't like you" to me. When she does, I just say, "I don't care if you like me or not, as long as you listen to me." She's got it that I'm not her friend (yet - that hopefully comes later).

I've been following this one as well. There are some sick, cruel b*****s in this world.

annieb, posting here wasn't futile. It's possible one of us might know something. Thank you for caring and being brave enough to try and help.

K1P1 said:

I sincerely hope they find her. I wouldn't wish this on any parent, but I have to ask: Why, Why, WHY did they ever leave a 4 year old and two babies alone in an apartment?

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Makes me scratch my head. I do hope they find her though.

I don't think for a second that anyone deserves it. I do think the parents are idiots, however. Total and complete jerkwads for leaving 3 children unattended while they feed themselves. That, to me is completely selfish and irresponsible.

I've been out w/ friends, in all kinds of situations w/ their young kids. Restaurants and stores. Toddlers and older kids. It can be rough and entertaining. And Jersey, you are my kind of mom. You do what you have to when you've got little ones. It's part of being a parent.

It's Madeleine I'm sad/frightened for. And I fear the worst for her. The Smart case as well as the Missouri cases, I believe are the exceptions to the rule. In both those instances, I sincerely hope they skewer both the bastards. And I really don't want to hear about their sad little backgrounds, either. Just don't. The children are off limits.

I know, we've had these discussions before. But, it's how I feel.

Because of these heinous stories, how on earth could Madeline's parents leave her and her siblings, alone. Especially, when there was childcare available? No, they don't deserve what happened, but they'll be wondering why for the remainder of their lives.

It is fascinating why, because of their financial status, the media's not landing all over them for their lack of brains. Or, for the fact that their brains are in their collective asses.