Everything I read pertaining to a successful query is bunk if they don't show a successful query letter from a previously unpublished author without any credentials. Why don't they show that? It seems they are encouraging published writers with credits rather than the majority who have never been published. See what I mean? I'm not saying that I disagree with the fact that people get published every year without credits, but what does that query look and sound like? That's the well kept secret I think. Anyway, I think my query is pretty solid and so far it has been rejected by every agent I send it to, so, how can they base their rejection on a letter if they've never read your story? The chances of getting a top tier agent are against you, at least that's the way I see it. Ah, the frustration!
What does such a letter look like? I can only tell you what I like to see in a query letter. Short, specific, friendly, and exciting. Now, I've never been an agent, but I have been an editor, and still am on occasion, and I have helped a couple of agents with slush.
It probably won't help at all, but here's the thing. I really want to see five things in a query letter that has no credits.
1. Something that tells me this isn't a shotgun query. If you can do no more than change the name of the agent/editor and send the same query to another agent or editor, it's probably not a query that will interest me.
2. Short and
friendly. I hate using the word
friendly, but I don't know another word that fits. Maybe
pleasant, is better.
Business-pleasant, business-friendly, but still friendly and pleasant. Any good business writes such letters to customers, but this probably doesn't help, either. So many queries are too deadly serious, and so business-like, so cold, that you have to wear gloves to read them.
3. This goes hand in hand with number three. Good writing in every sentence. It's hard to write a great sentence when you're being to cold and professional. This makes every query sound alike. There should be rhythm and flow and structure to every sentence.
4. An exciting, well-written synopsis. Whether it's one paragraph or two pages, I want it to grab me. Far too many writers think you should just give a list of the highlights, and that's enough. I think the synopsis should be as exciting as the novel. Read the jacket copy of a published novel. There you'll usually find a great synopsis. Jacket copy is a synopsis written by the publisher, and it's purpose is to make readers buy the book. Your synopsis should make an agent or editor want to do the same. Unlike a jacket copy synopsis, you should include the ending of the novel, but other than this, it's perfect.
5. The first three or four pages of the manuscript. This really tells me something about the way you write, and if these pages grab me, I'll want to see more.
But, really, if you've sold stories to good magazines, the only thing a query has to do is tell me you've written a novel that's appropriate for what I need. But if you have no great credits, you have to do more.
So many queries are shotgunned, and it's tough to find anything interesting if you think twenty other agents are reading the same thing. Even if you do send to twenty agents, the query should sound like you think I'm the only one for the job, and you wouldn't dream of trying anyone else.
So many other queries/synopses are so business-like and impersonal that you can't tell anything about the writer or the story. If a query and synopsis bores me, there's no reason to think the novel won't bore me just as much.
The trick, of course, is finding the right balance. You can be too friendly, and the writing can turn to overblown, purple prose if you try to by too exciting. But good writing stands out just as much in a query as in a novel. A natural flow and rhythm stands out just as much in a query as in a novel.
In a sense, I think the biggest mistake writers make in writing queries and synopses is trying too hard to sound professional. In doing so they produce query letters and synopses that sound like something a computer program would spit out. They might as well be telephone bills.
Dear John, James, or whomever, I'm sending this phone bill for your perusal. Hope you enjoy the enclosed, synopsis of December's phone calls. Sincerely, XXXXX
And the synopsis does have all the excitement of the list of phone calls you made last month.
Making me think I'm the only agent you queried counts, even if I'm not. Personality counts. Good writing that shows both your style and your personality all the way through counts. A brief, exciting synopsis counts. Including a wonderful couple of opening pages counts.