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View Full Version : First accompanied song. "Don't Cry for Me"



Rivana
05-14-2007, 09:35 PM
I finally did it -I put music to one of my songs. Nothing professional, but still -it's got piano, drums and even a violin + my singing. Yay!
Go take a look? Let me know what you think about anything. Especially the piano chords cuz I'm really not sure about those.

The song is available at Soundclick (http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=695117&songID=5341741)

Here are the lyrics.

Thank you!

:LilLove:
Tessa

***

Don't Cry for Me

I hoped there was more to life than I saw.
I hoped there was more to you,
but how can I blame you for just being you?
Or blame the gods for the lies that I chose for myself,
my mind and my heart. . .

Don't cry for me, I'll be fine you'll see.
Don't cry for lies, cry for the dark, sacred skies.
Don't cry for love, time will heal all wounds.
Don't cry for I know that in time we'll be free.

Don't cry for me, let it be.

We had our summer, but now here comes fall.
We had summer days, now they're gone,
but I cannot blame you -we are what we are.
And it's true what they say, that all things must come to an end,
for good or for bad.

Don't cry for me, I'll be fine you'll see.
Don't cry for lies, cry for the dark, sacred skies.
Don't cry for love, time will heal all wounds.
Don't cry for me, left in the depths of the sea.

Mm mm. . .

Don't look at me that way, it's not what you think.
This isn't the end of the world.
I'm not made of glass, I won't break at your feet,
or curse your name for playing the role you must play
in this game we call life.

Don't cry for me, I'll be fine you'll see.
Don't cry for lies, cry for the dark, sacred skies.
Don't cry for love, time will heal all wounds.
Don't cry for I know that in time we'll be free.

So don't cry for me, let it be.

Nolita
05-15-2007, 05:56 AM
Yay you did it Rivana! Happy for you. Just one thing. Do you have the instruments on seperate tracks from your voice? They're drowning you out. I love the gypsy violin(that's what it sounds like to me, no offense if it's not what you intended). Still, the other instruments are drowning out your voice.

If you don't have seperate tracks(cuz maybe friends were helping?), maybe make just one track of you singing, and adjust the mix in Audacity? Not sure, but might be really cool, plus would have a faint layer of you singing as well.

Don't wanna be mean, hope I'm not being mean. I just was hoping to hear your singing.

Nolita
05-15-2007, 05:59 AM
Oh hey, I like the lyrics. They make a lovely poem. Untill I can hear your voice better, can't be sure how they work as lyrics to a song. Does that make sense?

Again, not an expert(somehow when I'm just giving opinions sometimes people think I'm being an authority, but I'm not nearly such a thing).

JRH
05-15-2007, 06:30 AM
Hi Rivana,

The piano chording seemed fine and worked well. The back-up instrument sounded more like a flute than a violin to me but added a nice atmosphere. I think it could flow a little better if the lyrics were tightened up a little, but that could be my bias as I tend to deal more with the regular rythems of popular song and seldom have tried Jazz).

Your voice is quite pleasant but a little thin and seemed to almost fade away at times although with the lyrics listed right there, I had no trouble following along.

All and all, I have to say it was well done, particularly for a first try ( I had to go through dozens of takes and add voices and reverb via Cool Edit before I was even marginally satisfied with most of mine).
Hope this will encourage you to do more in the future. (It never gets easy, but it does get easier).

Jim Hoye, (JRH)

DreamWorks
05-15-2007, 02:15 PM
Rivana - wonderful job! I am so proud of you for going the extra mile and getting this done - It is a brilliant achievment, one you should be proud of.
However... there is still much work to be done. Adding the instruments takes it into a whole new ballgame, and can be quite revealing. The song lacks a harmonic feel and wouldn't fall into the category of 'easy listening'; in other words, it sounds somewhat out of pitch from beginning to end! I am sure you will be able to overcome this musical problem with a renewed dedication to the craft, and many hours of hard work, trying to find the perfect chords for your unique and rather haunting melodies! Good luck :)

Rivana
05-15-2007, 05:28 PM
Thanks guys. ^o^ I think I need to put this one on the shelf for a while before I go crazy though, but Nolita -I did put up a new version for you on the Soundclick site. All new singing and better mix, I think. And Dreamworks -I think this one mightn't chafe so much either so maybe you'll want to check it out as well. Though mind you I did mess up in a place or two, but still -improvement. ;-)
Btw way Jim -I did fiddle a little bit with the end result.

Nolita
05-16-2007, 05:32 AM
Hey that's loads better! I hope I'm not being overly critical, because I know you weren't meaning to give perfection straight out the gate. I mean...

Well if you're anything like me, it's easier to hear what's wrong than to fix it. Even when I watch a live performance video on YouTube, I can hear what's wrong, but can't offer any good advice for fixing it. Generally I offer words of encouragment, because folks can get really mean there. I worry they'll make the person give up, with all the negativity.

So I really hope I'm not being a negative-Nelly.

Oh, here's a bit of weirdness that might help. I noticed whenever I drink a nice hot cup of coffee I can breathe way deeper. I also noticed if I eat a mentholated cough drop, I don't fall apart in the middle of singing a song(all for me and for fun, but it still could help you yeah?). They must have Riccola(sp?) in Sweden(I know it's a Swiss cough drop, but it's gotta be the Coca-Cola of cough drops).

Anyway, try the coffee(tea might work too, just something nice and hot), and cough drop thing. The cough drop seems to coat your throat, and help with breathing too. It really seems to help stop the voice from giving out or cracking mid-verse. Handy for some of the longer verses.

Oh, don't forget: you're totally allowed to whisper/speak-sing if you feel like your voice isn't going to make it through a particular verse. It could be really effective stylewise. Just saying, because the temptation is to try to sing at full capacity all the way through, and sometimes it throws me off, maybe you too?

Rivana
05-16-2007, 01:32 PM
*hugs* Thanks Nolita. And I've actually updated with an even newer version now that is better than both of the previous. *grins* Just couldn't help myself.

Oh yeah, I know about the warm liquid thing, the warmth helps dilate your vocal chords or something like that. Never heard of cough drops working though, but I guess it would. :-)

michaelmcneil
05-16-2007, 07:30 PM
Coffee and tea are both diurretics (spelling?) which dry out your vocal chords. Coffee is one of the worst things you can drink before singing. I reccomend tepid water, something that opera singers have used for generations. Just get some water and make it slightly hotter than room temperature.

Also, about your music:
I thought parts of the violin overlay were very interesting, and would work- just at a lower volume. You need more powerful root notes for your chords. You are not out of key, it's just that the lack of basic chords to back you up gives that impression. If you play with your levels and add in some root notes on guitar or piano (or even better, bass), you'll drastically improve the listenability of your work. Nice job, though. Feel free to contact me if you'd like help, I've been arranging music for a while.

Rivana
05-17-2007, 12:50 AM
Thanks Michael, I did know about the coffee and tea, I was thinking warm water as well. And you're right about the root notes of course, I just really hoped I wouldn't have to, because it's such a pain. I'm so tired of working with this song, but I guess practice makes perfect. Thanks bunches for the offer, I may take you up on that if I can't figure this stuff out soon.

michaelmcneil
05-18-2007, 05:25 AM
I have Cakewalk, so if you'd like, I can overlay a couple of basic chord tracks for you. If so- what instrument(s) would you prefer: piano, guitar, brass, ect.? I don't have a bass, but I could run a synth voice from my Casio or lay down a MIDI line on the piano roll.

Nolita
05-18-2007, 06:19 AM
Hey Michael, you have a guitar right? Couldn't you do the Jack White thing and play a bassline on the guitar and change the octave?

michaelmcneil
05-18-2007, 09:37 PM
Sure, but we'd probably get a better sound using a bass voice from my synthesizer. It's up to Rivana really. You can produce just about any sound you can image with a really nicely set up synth. Mine, however, isn't, but it does get the job done.

Let me know if you'd like me to lay it down.

ChunkyC
05-18-2007, 10:37 PM
Recording a tune can seem like it's taking forever. I've been in a studio a few times. One band I was in took nearly a week to record two songs for a demo, and these were tunes we'd been playing every night in clubs for months, so we knew them inside out. Some pros take a year or more to record a dozen songs for an album.

I can't really add to the good advice given above. Let me just add another "good job!"

Rivana
05-22-2007, 01:48 AM
Hey guys, sorry for being absent a few days, thanks bunches for all your support. ^o^

Michael, if you want to try adding some baseline on guitar or something that would be very cool and thank you, that's a really nice offer. I don't think I'll get back to dealing with this for quite a while otherwise, I need to move forward and try the next thing, you know how it is. :-)