View Full Version : Personal Ad for Main Character and Primary Antagonist

07-25-2004, 02:19 PM
Thanks for adding this forum. I think it will be helpful and fun.

Here is an excercise I had fun with, silly as it may be. Hope others play along too. Post if you are willing. :)

Write a personal ad for your main character. Then write one for the primary antagonist.


My attempt:

Cute SWF ISO her prince
Linguistic queen wanna-be looking for her prince charming.
Must be a proficient swordsman and military strategist.
Experience in overthrowing usurpers a plus.
Must be willing to travel extensively (by foot, horseback or carriage)
And eventually relocate to a different world.
Email: Queen@Bazess.com

Dangerous Man Seeking Nearly as Dangerous Woman
Murderous, phony king looking for his evil queen.
Must be willing to do whatever it takes.
Experience in the black arts a definite advantage.
Must enjoy squashing insignificant queen wanna-bes
Looking to reclaim their throne.
Email: Usurper@Bazess.com


Thanks for reading.

07-25-2004, 07:55 PM
Funny you should mention it. I had a personal ad in my first draft (I have since deleted that chapter) for my protagonist. I've revised it for this game...

SWM, total Hunk, 32, 61, 184 lbs, black hair, brown eyes, solid build, a healthy choice for a sexy date. Independently wealthy. ISO SF: tall, dark-haired, beautiful, sexy, with a killer body and a great sense of humor, kind, preferably a supermodel, and a devil in bed.

I don't really have an antagonist in my novel. But if I have to choose someone, I'd choose his "romantic rival":

WM, 34, salt-and-pepper good looks, rugged farm boy turned museum curator. Good with his hands. Have a slight temper but very passionate. Love children. In the process of getting a divorce. Looking for a new life.

07-25-2004, 08:17 PM
Actually, I've got one manuscript where I started it off with a want ad where the protagonist looked in a filthy, cracked mirror and asked himself if he was what the ad sought. I still believe that opening works, though I think the middle of the story needs more work.

07-26-2004, 12:13 AM
Heavenly Host ISO Muscle-bound Crusader
Are you the strong silent type, kind to old people, children and small animals?
Do you have an allergic reaction whenever daemons blow into town?
Are you willling to charge the gates of hell with a baseball bat?
Are you interested in a long-term (eternity) relationship?
If you answered yes to all four questions, I want to meet YOU!

No smokers or druggies. (An occasional belt of liquid courage is acceptable, and perhaps even necessary.)
1-777-ARC-ANGEL and leave a message with the Cherubim

Hey, baby, is there room in your head for one more?
I'm a playa, a slaya, a dawg doomsaya!
Demon Lord ISO male/female/circus animals for a "permanent" situation.
Doper? No problem!
Smoker? No problem!
Serial killer? NOOOOOOO PROBLEM!
Call collect (that's what I do best)

(Fun game. Thanks!)

07-26-2004, 01:25 AM
I'm not writing a story at the moment, but this is a great idea. I will be sure to try it out next time.
Normally I will sit down and write pages of characterists for each character. Everything from height, weight and eye colour, to favourite foods and their favourite memories.

07-26-2004, 02:40 AM
This ad isn't for my main characters, but for a "helper" character who just might get her own book one day:

Sexy elfin female with off-beat sense of humor and shady work ethic seeks companion for long or short term adventuring. Must be male.

07-26-2004, 12:54 PM
Liam, about those two characters of yours it's been done. It's called the Book of Job.

07-26-2004, 01:11 PM
Not so, Reph. Job didnt "charge" anything. He did, however, master the turning of the other cheek while keeping his eyes focused on the Boss. :)

MacAl Stone
07-26-2004, 08:25 PM

SWM--self-deprecating, fairly charming, even sort of funny, but a little clueless--ISO mommy-substitute leading lady to help indefinitely avoid epiphany and painful personal growth.


SWM--ridiculously charismatic alcoholic, redneck ghost-antihero. Given to bursts of sudden and random violence. But I bet you can't resist me, nonetheless. ISO scenes to steal from insipid little momma's-boys.

Huh. This was much more difficult than it seems like it ought to be! Cool exercise, thanks! :snoopy

08-04-2004, 12:32 PM

Wanted: Enlightened author
Must be aspiring, and motivated. Easy going when those rejection letters come in the mail. Clean and tidy. Someone who loves sharing intimate moments licking stamps on query letter envelopes.


Wanted. Author with Suicidal tendencies.
Must have writers block at least once a day. Must be able to reply to posts to discourage others from succeeding. Making other authors feel miserable and unmotivated a big plus. Ability to post under different nicknames preferred.

08-05-2004, 05:22 AM

08-05-2004, 07:12 PM
(This message was left blank)

08-08-2004, 11:58 PM
I think I like Liam's the best so far.. Elonna's a close behind.
Everyone's so clever with their ads...

:: ponders.. runs off in search of pen ::

08-11-2004, 11:21 AM
I don't know many abbreviations, so most of them are made up, but I'll place a key at the bottom.

SMF ISO her betrothed
Believed to be little boy who used to play the lute in hidden room in library
Must love music and not be offended by his betrothed's lack of singing ability
Cannot be allergic to cats or talking horses
Email ToneDeaf_Princess@Astaerwen.com

*In this case, SMF=single mixed (as in race) female

SSMF* ISO man who hates the world
Shouldn't be turned off by piercing speaking voice
Preferably someone whose pet was stolen at a young age
Throne usurper or otherwise unsavory and untruthful character a plus
Email FalsePrincess@FromAstaerwenToGwoviel.com

can anyone tell it's a fantasy story? lol. Good prompt. It was hard doing the antagonist, but I actually enjoyed it. I think I might try it again later, and it actually gave me an idea for another story.

Insana D
04-13-2010, 08:57 PM
I realize this is a very old thread but it's charming and hilarious anyway and I'm determined to play along and eventually wear you all down till you let me play since I won't go away.

Personal Ad For Book on Internet Dating Nightmares:

SWM seeking woman with pulse
6'-4" tall brown hair, 165 lb. brown eyes, farmer hands with own bag balm for outer crust
drives late model Ford with chrome nekked ladies bent in doggy position on tire flaps
No Fat Chicks bumper sticker on left with Bush/Cheney on right
e-mail Imonalongtriptonowhere@Utards.net

SWF seeking illiterate loser to drain bank account and leave me knocked up
5'-2", 165 Rubenesque-ish, blonde hair 2" from dark roots
Drives Ford Taurus with bad shocks and late registration, glove box full of unpaid parking tickets
e-mail lowselfishsteam@abuseme.net

Chris P
04-13-2010, 09:22 PM
I love it when old threads come back to life!

Protag: Recently single white male, late 30s, seeks personal cheerleader to accompany him on his midlife crisis across Africa with chat room friends. Must be willing to listen quietly to internal ruminations on agronomy, politics, geology, and globalization. Must not like dancing and prefer to people watch from the bar area and discuss Cervantes.

Antag: Radical African nativist warlord seeks local thugs to shake down tourists and make whitey go home. Must be able to huff through nose in a menacing fashion and pretend not to speak English. Easily led psychos preferred.

Insana D
04-13-2010, 09:30 PM
GOOD!! I wondered if this was taboo to necro-raise mostly dead threads.

Protag:SWF pre-menopausal seeking mid life crisis

Antag: SWM adventure guide seeking cougar sugar mama

Matera the Mad
04-16-2010, 07:56 AM
P: Student, male, majoring in shamanic arts, looking for sex and fun, possible relationship. Send spirit messenger if interested.

A: Unlimited opportunity! Join with me to live forever and rule the world.

(Antag is evil spirit bound to a talisman)