Tricky Love Situations

SpiderGal · May 10, 2007

Have you ever been in a sticky love situation? Something that embarrassed you, and made you laugh at the same time? I was going to write something on sticky love situations and ways to handle them. Think ethical dilemmas.

For e.g., you and your boyfriend are strolling through a market street at night. A beautiful girl wearing a mini (of course, she' wearing a top too) passes by. Your boyfriend's eyes immediately hover on to her -- and stay there. And he knows you are watching. So, what would you do? I, for one, would say something like, "Wow, nice legs." And loudly, at that. I think that would sort of avoid any problems.

It's a fun piece, and aimed at a girl's teen mag. So, I am mostly interested in hearing from the females. Though men are allowed too.

And, if you have a situation in mind that you haven't confronted yet, but think might happen to you, just shoot it. I might find a solution for you.

Thanks all!

limitedtimeauthor · May 10, 2007

Are you kidding?! He's a jerk. All good men KNOW to hide the fact that they're looking at another woman's legs!

ltd.

SpiderGal · May 10, 2007

OK, let's say he thinks I am not watching. But I am watching.

jenfreedom · May 10, 2007

You know if this article is being done for a teen mag you may have better luck asking some current teens what the new sticky situations of the day are. Maybe go take a look at what girls are talking about on teen magazine forums -- they always give stuff away. I think that there are fewer teens than adults here.

It sounds like a good idea though. I could never narrow this topic down myself because every single love situation seemed sticky to me when I was a teen. I guess that was part of the fun though.

Good luck with your article
~ Jennifer

JimmyB27 · May 11, 2007

Am I the only one who totally misunderstood the term 'sticky love situations'?

Higgins · May 11, 2007

Tacky

JimmyB27 said:
Am I the only one who totally misunderstood the term 'sticky love situations'?

Maybe she didn't mean tacky or sicky or sticky, but tricky?

scarletpeaches · May 11, 2007

This thread title really needs a-changin'.

Cath · May 11, 2007

**ahem** let's not go there, folks.

MidnightMuse · May 11, 2007

Well I'd probably knee him in the 'nads, but I haven't been a teenager in . . . Well, I'm not a teenager

Elektra · May 11, 2007

MidnightMuse said:
Well I'd probably knee him in the 'nads, but I haven't been a teenager in . . . Well, I'm not a teenager

Ditto. And I was a teenager last year.

I know you don't mean the article to be read this way, but encouraging teenaged girls to make a breezy joke out of their boyfriends' insensitive, demeaning behavior doesn't sound like something that should be put out there.

Cath · May 11, 2007

I'm not convinced that eyeing a beautiful girl up is as much insensitive and demeaning as it is human nature, but each to their own.

Personally, I'd smile, make some comment about how attractive she was and bring his attention back to me. Yes, even as a teenager.

To me it's a matter of confidence. I think giving girls the confidence to laugh at this kind of behaviour takes away the sting. It's easy to feel upset or insecure about who's more attractive than you, or feel possessive about a partner, but it's also counterproductive.

Elektra · May 11, 2007

But there's a difference between eyeing up a beautiful girl and ogling one when you're on a date with someone else.

Cath · May 11, 2007

Okay, fair point, but my reply stands. Bring his attention back to you (and probably don't date him again).

WishWords · May 11, 2007

Look the other direction and say, "Wow! Did you see that guy's package?"

Silver King · May 11, 2007

Are we not supposed to admire beauty when we see it? Of course we are (within reason). Now if a guy is craning his neck like a cartoon character and whistling, he needs to learn to be a little more subtle in his appreciation. Also, wearing sunglasses hides the eyes, though it won't help to mask his body movements.

One bit of advice you can give your audience is to acknowledge the behavior with some counter balance. For instance, the girl can admit out loud the admired woman has nice legs, and then offer, "It's too bad her feet are dirty and her toenails are cracked." This type of observation often takes the edge off the man's newfound desire.

Elektra · May 11, 2007

But isn't that just catty? Why insult the other woman? I hate the allowance that it's just natural for men to look around--there are a lot of other "natural" things that people manage to avoid on dates (and for the record, I'm not talking an brief, unconscious checking-out, but rather all-out staring, to the point that the girl feels she has to make some comment to get the guy's attention back).

TsukiRyoko · May 11, 2007

In the scenario you described (which has happened to me quite a few times) I usually say something along the lines of, "Yeah, I'd do her too." That usually makes them blush and turn away real fast (or it makes them very, erm.... suggestive, depending on who you're with).

Silver King · May 11, 2007

Elektra said:
...I hate the allowance that it's just natural for men to look around...

But it is. Nothing you'll ever think of or write about will change human behavior.

The same holds true for women when they're smitten by a handsome male...

Elektra · May 11, 2007

Say you're in a business interview. Now say an attractive woman walks by. Are you going to turn away from the interviewer to stare at the woman, to the point that the interviewer actually has to call your attention back to the interview? No. Because it's not professional behavior, and because the job is important to you. You practice self control. A date should be given the same courtesy.

Silver King · May 11, 2007

Elektra said:
A date should be given the same courtesy.

No, it shouldn't. Who says dating and business decorum are one and the same?

Elektra · May 11, 2007

But obviously some self-control can be shown in certain circumtances; it's therefore ludicrous to say that it can't be shown in others. Now we're just at the point that the guy (or girl--all this applies to women as well) doesn't respect and/or care about his date enough to exert that self-control. So why should the date have to think up some witty line to bring the other person back?

Tricky Love Situations

SpiderGal

Princess of Nerds

limitedtimeauthor

Super duper user

SpiderGal

Princess of Nerds

jenfreedom

JimmyB27

Hoopy frood

Higgins

scarletpeaches

Cath

The mean one

MidnightMuse

Midnight Reading

Elektra

Don't Call Me Sweetheart

Cath

The mean one

Elektra

Don't Call Me Sweetheart

Cath

The mean one

WishWords

Silver King

Megalops Erectus

Elektra

Don't Call Me Sweetheart

TsukiRyoko

Forced into cell phone life

Silver King

Megalops Erectus

Elektra

Don't Call Me Sweetheart

Silver King

Megalops Erectus

Elektra

Don't Call Me Sweetheart