View Full Version : In the beginning

09-25-2004, 08:41 AM
Uncle Jim said, a good beginning would have a character in a place (and a time, perhaps) with a problem.

You can do that with a full first chapter. Or you can nail it in the opening paragraph or even sentence.

Your challenge here is to come up with an orginal opening that set the premise of your story. You can do it with a chapter or a paragraph or sentence. Be creative and original. Extra bonus for short sentence.

Use one for your written story, or a WIP you're working on, or an idea of a story you're playing with. The bottomline is give us something that would actually become part of your story.

09-25-2004, 08:08 PM
Ok, I'll start. This is from a short WIP I'm working on:

David Canon locked the restaurant's gates for the last time, checking it twice, and reminded himself: let it go.

Chaoc Kazdul
09-25-2004, 09:25 PM
It was a grim but inevitable realization: this was not alcoholics anonymous, but some kind of board meeting he had inadvertently wandered into.

09-25-2004, 11:03 PM
Her gaze vacillated between the winning lottery ticket she clenched in her hand and the gun pointed directly at her nose.

10-06-2004, 11:08 PM
I already knew how much your mind becomes focused when a gun is pointed at you. Before this very moment however, I had never considered how focused it becomes when you are the one with the gun.

10-07-2004, 01:56 AM
Normally the congregation paid attention to the preacher when he thumped his bible on the pulpit. This morning his booming voice accompanied the thumping. "It says here in this book that Man is the image of God himself. Man is the one who has dominion over all the earth. Man is the pinnacle of creation!"

But this morning, the attention of most of the congregation was firmly fixed on the narthex doors as the alien walked through them into the sanctuary.

10-07-2004, 01:15 PM
He awoke in a stew of mud and blood, rain pelting his naked body. Corpses and spent weapons of war lay strewn side by side like wreckage across the open field. He began to wonder where he was, and how he had gotten here, but this was swept from his mind as he put voice to an even more urgent realization.

"Who am I?"

aka eraser
10-07-2004, 10:41 PM
Mine's from a short I wrote ages ago and still like:

I was 15 years old to the day when I learned the real story of how Moe Jensen lost his fingers.

Kida Adelyn
10-09-2004, 07:52 PM
Being the niece of an Evil Overlord is not quite the Sunday morning picnic it might appear to be.

10-09-2004, 10:31 PM
There's a good reason why instruction manuals for shower radios were invented.

Flawed Creation
10-17-2004, 06:54 AM
Lucifer stared at the glowing sword. he gingerly grasped it, and pulled it from the shattered stone. now, he tought, now i can show them i was right all along. i can change the world.

10-17-2004, 11:08 PM
Betrayal makes us do strange things.

Chaoc Kazdul
10-18-2004, 10:13 AM
Drell stared out the window absent-mindedly as he sharpened the head of his spear, watching rain fall heavily on the soon-to-be bloodied harbour.

10-20-2004, 06:36 AM
Hell was more comfortable than I expected.

10-21-2004, 08:33 PM
Here's a couple.

Exactly one hour after she hung up the phone, Dian’s doorbell rang. She picked up the check and the coupon before she opened the door.

The evening sun stained the underbellies of the clouds gold. The carriage stopped at the tree line just west of Sulward Keep. A lone rider leading another horse rode nearby.

Atona burned.

Geraldine Owens washed her hands in the office restroom before returning to work. She examined her reflection in the mirror, pleased with the fact that she had been losing some weight recently. She turned to leave and saw Donna come in.

“You know, Geri,” she said, “people would like you better if you weren’t so fat.”

“And people’d like you if you weren’t so hateful.” Quick with comebacks, huh, Geri? Doesn’t take away the hurt though.


Um. OK. So that's more than a couple.


10-22-2004, 01:49 AM
This is an opening from one of my WIPs. I still have yet to decide if I shall keep it. :p

The night's weight seeped from around the Turbo-24 Superstore as Madison Bradley stepped from the employee door. She tensed feeling its threatening nature. Glancing around, her hand dug in the bottom of her purse until she heard the familiar click of her long nails on the can of pepper spray.

Actually I edited while I typed it out. I like it better and it gave me some story twist ideas. Makes me feel like this :head this :jump and this :rollin all at the same time. Rough rough drafts...who knew?

luckky one
10-25-2004, 08:07 AM
From a piece of fan-fic I did:

Wesley leans slightly to the left against the bookshelf on the back of the wall, studying a leather-bound book in his hand. Atleast, it's assumed to be leather as much as it is assumed that he's studying the book.

www.satans-toady.net/wnw/teeteringonbeautiful.html (http://www.satans-toady.net/wnw/teeteringonbeautiful.html)

From my latest WIP, linked in lj below:

Atticus Constantine was such a bright young child. A bright child born to darkness.

10-25-2004, 03:35 PM
Her hearting pumping wildly as she sat the basket down on the doorstep, Molly ran behind the car and peeked as the old man opened the door. "Ma", he hollered, "we got another basket." As he picked up the basket and closed the door, Molly said in a mostly teenager like way, "YES!"

10-26-2004, 01:58 PM
Stephen King is dead, but he doesn't know it yet.

10-27-2004, 10:42 PM
A bit of fanfic here:

"Why do I always have to wait for that incompetent fool to rescue me?" Nell asked herself as the train whistle sounded in the distance.

10-27-2004, 11:08 PM
I think, Ruth, it's because he appears to be the only rescuer in town.

That said, I think Nell could be a little more leary about the characters she meets.

10-28-2004, 06:00 AM
The champagne tasted funny.

(First line of a murder mystery)


11-02-2004, 08:22 AM
The boy tasted funny.

(opening of a horror story)

11-02-2004, 08:49 AM
The funny boy tasted.

[opening of a story about circuis cuisine.]

11-06-2004, 11:35 AM
"I do not serve a patient master. It is because of his displeasure that i find myself here with you, sigh,and with time for the tale."

The story ends with the two tied spread eagle to posts in the desert, left to die.

03-14-2005, 11:48 PM
:Guitar: The aroma of her heady exotic perfume entered the office of homicide detective Red Griffin before she entered. Red was immediately aroused by the kind of woman that could wear something that smelled so good. He rubbed his eyes and gazed into the eyes of the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She was the widow of a wealthy older man that had died under mysterious circumstances.This was going to be tough on him and his sadly neglected libidio. He caught his breath long enough to remember what his partner always told him.
"Red my boy never let a beautiful woman make the organ between your legs overide the organ between your ears." Shirly Mahler's step daughter a mammoth of a woman was insisting that she be tried for the murder of her father. In fact Marsha was referred to an old nickname. Mammoth Marsha Mahler and it was hard to figure out why the mousy appearing man by the name of Lee Smith had married her.But then Red would find out in the course of his investigation that nothing on the surface could be taken at face value. He immediately had sympathized with Shirley because he had a history with Marsha. A history of running from her unwanted attentions in highschool. Off hand he wondered if the civil suit filed by Marsha for the proceeds of the will had more to do with the criminal case than what the facts would show. They would be in for it but before this case would be solved the tables would be turned upside down and the intrigue would reach international levels. But there was that delicious smelling perfume and Shirley was the woman that he had wet dreams about.