View Full Version : From "The Onion" -- A List of Upcoming Summer Movies

05-08-2007, 10:06 AM
(Or, as they call it, fall DVDs)...

For each one they list the movie, a synopsis, why it might be good on film, and why you might want to just wait for the DVD.

The best one?

Harry Potter, of course.

What it's about: We're not sure. An Internet search on this "Harry Potter" character yields very little information. Is he an alien or something? We're a little stumped.

Why it might be worth seeing in theaters: Again, we're not sure. The trailer makes this look like some sort of Dragonheart sequel, but there's no sign of Sean Connery.

Why you're probably better off waiting for the DVD: You might have no other choice. There's a good chance that this obscure indie could come and go from theaters in a flash, if it plays in your city at all.

Possible special feature: We did discover that it's based on a book by someone named J.K. Rowling. Maybe he could provide an audio commentary or something.

Source: http://www.avclub.com/content/node/61291/3

05-08-2007, 12:12 PM
I've heard something about a book based on this Potter film. Not too sure if it's true, though. I mean, who'd read a book like that?

05-08-2007, 07:29 PM
I like dragons, so if this Harry Potter thingy is about them, I'll go and watch it just cause of that. Although Harry Potter seems like a weird name for a dragon.

05-08-2007, 07:31 PM
I think they're confusing Harry Morgan with the character he played on M*A*S*H named Sherman Potter.

05-08-2007, 08:51 PM
Now that's funny. No wonder his two sidekicks are Hawkeye Granger and Ronald Emerson Winchester, the Third.

Soccer Mom
05-08-2007, 10:14 PM
Don't you mean Hermione Hotlips?

05-08-2007, 10:22 PM
Don't you mean Hermione Hotlips?

Anyone wanna compile the cross-over cast?

05-08-2007, 11:30 PM

I'm picturing Snape in a dress a-la Klinger ... wait, didn't they do that already?

05-09-2007, 12:41 AM
Any movie featuring a lead some kid who wears black horn-rims---unless it's a Buddy Holly biopic---is doomed to failure. You heard it here first.

Soccer Mom
05-09-2007, 01:11 AM
Man, those kids are growing up fast.

Harry Potter and the Golden Years?

05-09-2007, 12:55 PM
Don't you mean Hermione Hotlips?

Is she legal yet or should I just hide in the corner and feel like a dirty old man?