My Horoscope...

dclary · May 7, 2007

A La The Onion:

Capricorn:

"You've tried analyzing them through mass spectrometry, centrifuging them to separate their component elements, and searching everywhere inside them, but you still just don't understand women."

Sounds about right.

akiwiguy · May 7, 2007

Well all I can say is that searching inside women sounds a hell of a lot more fun than the kink I seem to be getting involved in. Mine for that day was...

The tension will mount slowly over the next few days as the needle touching the surface of your eyeball begins to press slowly but inexorably harder.

Uncarved · May 7, 2007

hmmmmm

You can never remember if, when meeting new business associates, you're supposed to give your name and shake hands firmly while looking them in the eye, or break their collarbones with the edge of your hand and run away to study woodworking in New Hampshire under an assumed name.

SpookyWriter · May 7, 2007

dclary said:
A La The Onion:

Capricorn:

"You've tried analyzing them through mass spectrometry, centrifuging them to separate their component elements, and searching everywhere inside them, but you still just don't understand women."

Sounds about right.

Oh great, we have the same futures. :rant:

dclary · May 7, 2007

Don't hog all the indigo dye for the spectral analysis, then!

writerterri · May 7, 2007

All we need is good food, water, chocolate and boom boom. What's there to understand.

Soccer Mom · May 7, 2007

Virgo: While you'll incur the contempt of hundreds for killing a man at point-blank range, you would've likely earned the disdain of thousands more had you missed from so close up.

Why, they understand me so well!

thethinker42 · May 7, 2007

tinasamuels said:
hmmmmm

You can never remember if, when meeting new business associates, you're supposed to give your name and shake hands firmly while looking them in the eye, or break their collarbones with the edge of your hand and run away to study woodworking in New Hampshire under an assumed name.

Hmm...Me too.

Ironically, I DID have the urge to do that to a new co-worker not long ago...

swvaughn · May 7, 2007

Deek, according to Weird Al Yankovic, your horoscope (Capricorn) is:

The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful
person... but you know they're lying
If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows and never
never never never never leave my house again

And mine (Libra) is:

A big promotion is just around the corner for someone
much more talented than you
Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that
when your appendix bursts next week

A. Hamilton · May 7, 2007

mine says I'm gonna get hit by a bus.

swvaughn · May 7, 2007

Ha! And The Onion for me today:

You can never remember if, when meeting new business associates, you're supposed to give your name and shake hands firmly while looking them in the eye, or break their collarbones with the edge of your hand and run away to study woodworking in New Hampshire under an assumed name.

Yeah, I always get those mixed up...

ETA: Lori! Tina! You're Libras too! Sweet. Let's all pretend to be nice and empathetic to everyone while secretly plotting to kill them together!

thethinker42 · May 7, 2007

swvaughn said:
Ha! And The Onion for me today:

You can never remember if, when meeting new business associates, you're supposed to give your name and shake hands firmly while looking them in the eye, or break their collarbones with the edge of your hand and run away to study woodworking in New Hampshire under an assumed name.

Yeah, I always get those mixed up...

ETA: Lori! Tina! You're Libras too! Sweet. Let's all pretend to be nice and empathetic to everyone while secretly plotting to kill them together!

Does that mean I have to pretend I like Tina, too? *casts look of thinly-veiled contempt at Tina...*

swvaughn · May 7, 2007

thethinker42 said:
Does that mean I have to pretend I like Tina, too? *casts look of thinly-veiled contempt at Tina...*

We could plot to kill them separately.

thethinker42 · May 7, 2007

swvaughn said:
We could plot to kill them separately.

Works for me.

maestrowork · May 8, 2007

I'm a Libra, too. Can't wait for my appendix to burst.

swvaughn · May 8, 2007

maestrowork said:
I'm a Libra, too. Can't wait for my appendix to burst.

Would you like to join our separate-but-equal campaign to get annoying people to trust us with our naturally sunny and equitable dispositions so we can slaughter them when they least expect it?

~~Watch out for Lori, though...~~ You should especially feel no cause for alarm when it comes to Lori. Why, she is the sweetest of us all.

thethinker42 · May 8, 2007

swvaughn said:
Would you like to join our separate-but-equal campaign to get annoying people to trust us with our naturally sunny and equitable dispositions so we can slaughter them when they least expect it?

Watch out for Lori, though...

Dammit, stop warning people about me!! Totally ruins my whole stealth approach...

maestrowork · May 8, 2007

What if I'm both sunny and annoying? Would I have to slaughter myself?

swvaughn · May 8, 2007

Whoops. All fixed.

Ray, as long as you can hide your annoying tendencies from yourself, you should be fine...

maestrowork · May 8, 2007

swvaughn said:
Ray, as long as you can hide your annoying tendencies from yourself, you should be fine...

I'm doomed.

That's so annoying.

ETA: Ray is dead.

swvaughn · May 8, 2007

Poor Ray! We will mourn you. I swear to make the next 10 executions in your name.

BTW, who's posting for you? ...

SpookyWriter · Jun 1, 2007

Hey Deek, since we have the same horoscope what does yours say for today?

Mine says this:

You'll get some clear signs today that your plans are working -- and working well!

Plans? I ain't got no stinking plans! :rant:

So what are these plans they are talking about?

MidnightMuse · Jun 1, 2007

Crap:

Aries
Benevolent gods will finally take pity on you and reward you for your suffering, but unfortunately they're the gods of corn and lima beans and as such, reward you in succotash.

What good is succotash?

tjwriter · Jun 1, 2007

Someone pull Aquarius. I'm not allowed on that site at work.

MidnightMuse · Jun 1, 2007

tjwriter said:
Someone pull Aquarius. I'm not allowed on that site at work.

You're doomed!

Aquarius

After the fire at your place, investigators won't want to question you so much about smoking in bed or the grow lights in the closet but about the stacks and stacks of bridal magazines.

My Horoscope...

Unabashed Mercenary

AW Inmate #90976

I aim to misbehave

Unabashed Mercenary

It's a dorky day!

Crypto-fascist

Abnormal Romance Author

adrift

here for a minute...catch me?

adrift

Abnormal Romance Author

adrift

Abnormal Romance Author

Fear the Death Ray

adrift

Abnormal Romance Author

Fear the Death Ray

adrift

Fear the Death Ray

adrift

Midnight Reading

Emerging Anew

Midnight Reading