Rate-a-Poem: For Jane: With All the Love I Had, Which Was Not Enough:

ddgryphon · May 6, 2007

For Jane: With All the Love I Had, Which Was Not Enough:

I pick up the skirt,
I pick up the sparkling beads
in black,
this thing that moved once
around flesh,
and I call God a liar,
I say anything that moved
like that
or knew
my name
could never die
in the common verity of dying,
and I pick
up her lovely
dress,
all her loveliness gone,
and I speak to all the gods,
Jewish gods, Christ-gods,
chips of blinking things,
idols, pills, bread,
fathoms, risks,
knowledgeable surrender,
rats in the gravy of two gone quite mad
without a chance,
hummingbird knowledge, hummingbird chance,
I lean upon this,
I lean on all of this
and I know
her dress upon my arm
but
they will not
give her back to me.

Charles Bukowski

ddgryphon · May 17, 2007

Does no one get anything from this?!

LimeyDawg · May 17, 2007

Actually, this is brilliant. Seriously, I might read more Bukowski if this is an example. Wow.

A. Hamilton · May 17, 2007

I'm sorry Dirk, I haven't been able to get in here as much as I like lately.
ON first read, I felt doubtful and unsure along the way, a poem I may not have finished without encouragment, but felt my enjoyment and anticipation building as I realized what it was about. Then, as I finished it and looked back at piece as a whole, I realized it was beautiful. I'll be reading it again.

poetinahat · May 17, 2007

This is the second time I've read Bukowski in here, and I'm still behind the curve. I feel like this poem should stir me more than it does. Give me another few days and another read.

A. Hamilton · May 17, 2007

BTW, I gave it a 4.
I find him a little obscure in places. I'll be following along, and he'll throw something in that feels like it's an inside reference.
ie this passage:
..and I pick
up her lovely
dress,
all her loveliness gone,
and I speak to all the gods,
Jewish gods, Christ-gods,
chips of blinking things,
idols, pills, bread,
fathoms, risks,
knowledgeable surrender,
rats in the gravy of two gone quite mad
without a chance,
hummingbird knowledge, hummingbird chance,
I lean upon this,
I lean on all of this
and I know
her dress upon my arm
but
they will not
give her back to me.
;;
it kinda works all together in the end, but in a hard to decipher way, and, I feel pulled along in confusion.

louiscypher · May 20, 2007

Hmmm...why the hell not:

I pick up the skirt, sparkling
beads of black, this thing
once moved around flesh
and I call God a liar;
Say "Any thing that moved
like that - or knew my name
could never die in the common verity
of dying', and pick up her lovely dress

with all its loveliness gone,
and speak with gods: Christian
chips, unblinking things, idol
pills, bread and fathom,
Risk, a knowledgeable surrender:
Rats in the gravy of two
gone quite mad without chance.

Hummingbird knowledge, hummingbird chance,
I leant upon this, Now
I lean on all of this
and know her dress upon my arm,
but they' ll not give
her back to me.

Rate-a-Poem: For Jane: With All the Love I Had, Which Was Not Enough:

Rate it Below

5 Stars: A masterpiece

4 Stars: A strong poem, but some elements didn't appeal to me

3 Stars: A good poem, but it didn't move me to any great extent

2 Stars: A flawed or uninspiring piece of work

1 Star: Does absolutely nothing for me

ddgryphon

King of Sloth Town

ddgryphon

King of Sloth Town

LimeyDawg

Scars are poems too

A. Hamilton

here for a minute...catch me?

poetinahat

say it loud

A. Hamilton

here for a minute...catch me?

louiscypher