Opinions please? And critiques too?

Problem for me is right now it's only a song in your head. Even with instructions in italics. It's all in your head, save for the lyrics. I dare say it's time to break out Audacity(multi-track freeware application for recording and mixing music, has all sorts of nifty junk in it).

Anyway, break out the Audacity and have fun with it's multiple tracks and ability to change pitch. With that one application you can at least sound like all the voices in your head.

I agree with Nolita. Audacity rocks and you can get a mic pretty cheaply these days, like for 10 bucks. Try it. ^o^
Otherwise I think the lyrics are pretty interesting, though maybe a bit long, and I'm wondering how it'll all fit in a song, but that really depends on the music, melody and orchestration.

[B]http://audacity.sourceforge.net/[/B]

Read the help files. You record each track individually. Let's say you can play guitar, and you can sing, but can't do both at the same time. Not a problem, record guitar first to one track, then create second track for singing.

Now, let's say you want to create Enyaesque harmonies. Those lush choral arrangements. Again, just record to a seperate track for each voice. For voices that are out of your range, adjust pitch.

It has tons of effects and stuff too. Someone with excellent a capella skills could create an entire song without instruments. Add some beat box skills and woohoo!

You're making excuses. Not even good writerly excuses(which are all ways to procrastinate). I'm not gonna let you win this one. Say you recruit a singer, how can they sing what's trapped inside your head? What? You gonna perform a Vulcan mind meld? Get real.

I'm revoking your privilege to listen to powerhouse vocalists for a week. You heard me, a week. You're only allowed to listen to Johnny Cash, Lou Reed, Tom Waits, and the theme from The Fallguy for one week. Come back then, tell us you can't sing. Then we'll have to hear it to believe it.

If you can hear it you can sing it, heck, you can pick it out on the piano(will take time without experience but you can). You only need one good take for the vocals. Consider this a karaoke bar with original music. You don't have to be good just brave.

Huh? Over 24 and parents still control you? None of my business, erase-erase-erase.

Lemme put it this way. I used to think I couldn't sing. Then all I did was start pulling my tummy in, and suddenly I got compliments. Granted I only sing 2 songs in front of other people. Amazing Grace and Miss Chatelaine. I don't sing them in a crowd(I'm shy tee-hee), but will sing in front of friends and family. Pull in your tummy, and just go for it.

Oh and you see? You don't like Johnny Cash. Man's a legend. Not exactly the world's greatest singer though, was he?

Alana Mortensen said:

oh Nolita, I am sorry to say that is out of my league. DEAD COW for singing. CAN NOT PLAY ANY instrument. I guess I should recruit Peter Steele or Geoff Tate for vocals, eh?

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Billy Joel can't sing. That didn't keep him from recording a few of his songs.

Bob Dylan is a terrible singer, but I think he did okay in the music biz.

W8 a minute smoked for 3 years? Just 3 years? Quitter.

Google for voice lessons. Seriously. I remember there are some videos out there somewhere, but don't remember the name. Right now I'm trying to train my ear, because I want to be able to tune a guitar properly without an electronic tuner handy. There's a freeware app for that(google for it), would probably help with singing.

Try recording yourself, and listen to how you sound. I really doubt you're as bad as you think. Again, tuck in your tummy when you sing. It's amazing how just sucking in your gut makes your voice less flat. Oh and breathe through your nose. Sounds daft, but seriously, I can hold notes way longer when I inhale through my nose. I'm not giving Sarah Brightman a run for her money any day, but I don't sound nearly as bad as I used to.

Now be nice to yourself. And I was teasing about you being a quitter, it's a standard smoker's joke. Guess it's been awhile for you.

Can't judge a song without a melody. Oh, and as a musician for most of my life, and an ex-smoker, I can assure you, smoking does NOT help your voice.

Oh, and please don't "pull in your stomach" either. In order to get maximum lung capacity, you need to breathe from your diaphram, which means thrusting your gut out there. Breathe, filling up the bottom of your lungs first, then letting the air fill all the way up into your chest. Make sure it's your bellybutton extending, and not your chest rising, when you take a breath to sing.

If you're trying to control your voice, and that's why you're going to tuck in your stomach, you're working against yourself. Control comes with time. Sure, maybe sucking in your stomach will make you less flat, but then you're more likely to be sharp. Use your vocal chords and experience to control your pitch. If you don't use your diaphram when you sing, you're wasting most of your lung capacity and putting yourself through already nervous brain (at least in a performance setting) through needless oxygen deprivation as you struggle to squeeze out those last notes.