View Full Version : "You Write Like a Girl!" Excerpt #10

05-03-2007, 06:12 AM
Grace stopped and crouched down, scooped up a handful of wet sand and packed it into a ball. She stood, and Kai was now riding the mangrove branch like a witch on a broomstick. She waited for him to turn his back on her, then pitched the sand ball at him. Two years of cricket practice with the children had not failed her. The sand ball smacked his head and splattered.

Kai turned and growled. He crouched down and grabbed a handful of sand. Grace shrieked and ran. Just ran. She must have run a half-mile before she finally slowed down. She turned around, but there was no sign of Kai. She took a few breaths, her heart pounding against her chest. She looked again. Still no sign of Kai. He couldn’t have given up so easily.

She started to walk back. The fog had thinned out, and through it she could see a glimpse of the sky, a soft cerulean blended with the dark sea. The sun would rise in a few minutes. They must go home now or they would not get back in time.

Someone grabbed her from behind, lifted her up in one fell swoop. She screamed as loud as she could.

“Let me down.” She started kicking. “You monster, let me down.”

But Kai was simply too strong, and a head taller. She kicked again, and this time her foot hit him in his shin. Kai groaned, but he did not let go. He hunched slightly, then lifted and tossed her over his shoulder. She now stared at his backside and feet.

“Kai Tazman, put me down now.”

“Or what?”

“Put me down.”

Grace pushed at his back with her hands, and felt a solid slab of muscles. Kai started back toward the cove. She stretched her arm and pinched his buttock.

“That feels good,” he said.


“You hit me first.”

“It was a joke.”

“So is this.”

“Put me down.”

He kept walking.

“Put me down.”

Kept walking.


“What’s that? Mrs. Caulfield didn’t teach me.”

“You can’t treat me like this. I’m a lady.”

“And I’m a backward chauvinist. This is perfect.”


“Grace Kendall,” he said with great drama, “accept your fate.”

She hit him in the back.

He laughed. “You are mine.”

Grace relaxed her arms and slumped on his shoulder. She accepted her defeat.

She was. His.

JJ Cooper
05-03-2007, 06:49 AM
"a soft cerulean blended with the dark sea." - I've a feeling this was put in here on purpose. But, will have to go with Female

05-03-2007, 06:52 AM
I'm torn. The end makes me think it's male, but the sky-gazing makes me think female.

05-03-2007, 07:16 AM
I think I'll let ya'll ponder it over more before I rep you with the answer. :p

05-03-2007, 07:55 AM
I guess female.

05-03-2007, 10:59 AM
I'd go with female. It was the cerulean blue that made me think that.

Sohia Rose
05-03-2007, 03:54 PM

05-03-2007, 04:09 PM
The interplay between characters rings female.

I wonder if I've gotten any of these right?

05-03-2007, 05:51 PM

05-03-2007, 06:00 PM

Julie Worth
05-03-2007, 06:08 PM

05-05-2007, 03:27 AM

There was really only one word that makes me think this. I think a female would have used a different one.