Stupid things one thinks when one is drunk

"And I thought I couldn't dance!"

"...I can do that."

"My teeth are numb."

(True story, I say it all the time when I'm reaaaaaaally drunk.)

"I'm the decider and I'm deciding that we invade Iraq!"

"I can do anything and nothing matters."

"The roof isn't that high from the ground."

"She's kind of cute."

"I can drink a Marine under the table even though I'm a lightweight sailor who never drinks and said Marine is 4" taller and 40 lbs heavier than me and has an ability to casually drink Jack Daniels straight from the bottle like other people drink beer."

My husband thought that once. My brother was the Marine in question. I was the designated driver.

It wasn't pretty.

Would it impress you to know I can slug JD straight from the bottle?

I wish I were his beer bottle.

scarletpeaches said:

Would it impress you to know I can slug JD straight from the bottle?

Click to expand...

It wouldn't surprise me. LOL

My brother would carry a bottle of JD around at a party the same way others carry around a bottle of beer.

He doesn't drink anymore. My husband RARELY drinks (occasional beers in port when he's deployed; when he's home, he only drinks what I make at home, and that's very, very rare). Two Kamikazes and he starts slurring his words. LOL And he's an OBNOXIOUS drunk!!!!

"Lesh go downta f*****g CC#21! I need a f*****g MAN!"

Not me, but a friend in college who could NOT hold alcohol at all. (CC#21 was also known as "Animal House," BTW.)

I think my stupidest drunk moment involved standing in front of a locked door with a key in my hand, looking from one to the other and knowing there was a connection, but not being able to think what it was...

"Wow...he's f%&king hot!"

"Damn... what I'm writing is pretty good!"

[Several hours later after sobering up]

"I suppose it's not necessary to load BOTH barrels of this shotgun..."

"whataya talkin'in-ing nuhbout? I'm fine to car the drive!"

'she wants me bad- luckily i'm very charming'

"women with green teeth are a turn on"

I can probably jam my whole fist in my moouutth....

"If I kiss him he'll just turn me away and tomorrow I'll tell him I was drunk and I didn't mean it and that'll be it..."

We've been dating for a while now. Turns out, he actually liked me too but didn't dare take the first step, so when I did it, he didn't turn me away like I'd expected. I'm happy it turned out the way it did

"Man, that tatto of the Bounty would look great across my chest."

"She's so beauoootiful." (Referring to a transvestite.)

I need to dredge up the old times, I know I can recall some others. Oh, yeah:

"Hell, there's only seven of 'em."

I'm beautiful, and I love disco! I'll dance with anybody.

"We don' need no stinkin' condoms."

Sweet Thing & I went on a dive trip with friends. After a day of diving turned into an evening of drinking, a woman in the group sat in the galley and declared (to Sweet Thing-- no less): "My nips are lumb."

"This is an entirely reasonable place to sleep." - a thought I apparently had on my parents' deck in Wisconsin in March. I even took off my shoes.

"It's time to give in to this silly sexual tension between me and my old-female-friend-who-has-a-boyfriend." Turns out there wasn't any.

"Only sleeping for three hours will just make me more tired. I should just stay up all night." Not true.

"It's 2:45 in the morning. I should call people and invite them to the afterbar."