Is my Story Original...

Farm boy saving the world? Star Wars, Belgariad, Wheel of Time, LotR

A Prophesey finding the unlikeliest of tools to be fulfilled, Star Wars, Belgariad, Wheel of Time

These immortals can create an all powerful key to defeat the enemy but cannot do it directy themselves like Gods who cannot intervene directly without destroying the world? Also the key can be used for ill - creating an empire. You could almost call the key a ring.

Throw in the hermit/teacher who befriends the boy but is not all he appears and the young girl who is really a princess who grows to reluctantly love the farm boy. Also popular is dragging the MC into the story with an unprovoked attack from the bad guys. Rand al'Thor would be a farmers son without a Trolloc attack on his community. Same with Belgarion - if he had been left alone, Torak would still be sleeping.

If everyone tells you its familiar and been done to death maybe they have a point.

Sadly if you reduce any tale to a paragraph its going to look familiar. You need to make your synopsis a lot more detailed so you can highlight the differences. I know from my own point of view if I see the word 'prophesey' on the back of a book I will not buy it - ben there, done that.

EDIT Shamed into correcting grammer as it was quoted further down.

Also, didn't know your age. If you have a story to tell the best thing you can possibly do is tell it. The odds are you won't produce anything first time round thats commercial but the only way to improve is to write, write and write. Give it a go and prove everyone wrong.

I'm afraid it does sound rather cliche. You've already had ten different sources tell you this, so it can't be a great suprise to hear it again.

The idea of 'ancient times with dwarves, dragons, heroes, prophesies, battles .. but a modest farming community/person somehow holds the key to stop destruction' is very Tolkein. Sure, the details are different (snaggle toothed dwarves !?) but it does sound like an imitation. (I'm sure it's NOT an imitation ... but if you have a black coloured soft drink, everyone is going to think it's an imitation of Coca Cola .. even if it very different. It's just a fact of life)

You talked about your description as the PLOT. Is it really? If so, then it might seem unfulfilling - the heros try various approaches which all fail, before trying one which seems unpromising. Then the story ends.

However, since your description is written in past tense, I'm guessing that it is the background - the STARTING POINT to the story?

If so, then that is quite different - so tell us what the story is actually about. Is it about a pacifist farming community who learn that they must fight to save others .. even if they'll be destroyed themselves? Is it about a young farm boy who discovers that his dreams hold the key to civilization?

I just get the feeling you've told us the STARTING POINT, rather than THE PLOT. They are very different things.

Good luck!

Mac
(PS: It is very annoying when people read what you write, but don't see the vision that is running your head. The only cure is to use different words & images to tell the story)
(PPS: I just checked out the website & writing, and realised that you are 12 years old. Don't get discouraged - simply by writing that much prose you are a thousand times more advanced than other 12 year old writers.

Go to http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7987 and start learning. Then you'll be even more advanced. Good luck again)

You know I don't really like these kinds of books. The only one that appealed to me was the Cronicles of Nania. Other then that, I steer clear of them. The thing is though, no matter how hard I try I see them everywhere, and the LOTR films were not too bad.

So here is my opinion on something that may be original and you can still get all the stuff you got there put in. Just with a few amendants.

How about you write the story from the other side.

An evil hord of whatever you call them is beaten by the local farmer boy who has no clue what he is doing but somehow against the odds has won a mighty battle. So the evil gods join together to make a special key that unlocks the most hideous evil power (and I am not talking about the forum mods) and hide it in the local farmers community right under the nose of the 'hero'. Years later a new family arrive in the village claiming to be from another part of the planet where war has ravanged the land and they settle in nicely. The book can focus on the relationship between the new families daughter and the hero farmer boy and how they fall in love, but the girl finds the key and becomes the Queen of Evil and kicks his ass, once again plunging the world into darkness and into evils hands.

You see, totally original in the fact that the reader is reading from the bad guys view!!

From that description alone, I'm not seeing much that seemes particularly original - but that doesn't mean your story itself is unoriginal. People are always saying that there are no new ideas, and that it's just a matter of what you do with the old ones. So, a fantasy in which the MC is a farm boy who is somehow 'chosen' to 'save the world'? Make these ideas work for you, and modefy them enough so that they aren't as blatant as they sound.

Well, what the others said. Except this:

and he was kileld in battle.

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I swear, I've never seen that used before!

But seriously, here's my thing: I really don't even read much of the genre ... and it sounded familiar to me.

I'd agree with this, though too:

Sadly if you reduce any tale to a paragraph its going to look familiar. You need to make your synopsis a lot more details so you can highlight the differences.

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I'm new myself, but I go by this basic assumption: The newer you are, the more original you better be.

I won't argue whether the new writer does or doesn't have equal skillz ... but the one thing no one can challenge is ORIGINALITY.

Be original, don't regurgitate ten years of genre reading. (Not saying YOU are, but I know people who've fallen in that trap.) Other readers have read the same books you have ...

So basically it's a giant apocalypse-preventing fetch-quest, with them running around catching dragons for their special code?

To be honest, if you're looking for feedback on your work, you might want to consider posting a few pages in the Share Your Work forum. Everything sounds cliche when it's boiled down to the bones like that; it's the execution where you see any originality coming through.

Just my opinion, of course.

~DragonHeart~

Story

Quit worrying about the synopsis and write the darned story. Nothing you have here is the least bit original, and no synopsis you write in the future is going to be the least bit original.

What makes a story original is how well it's written, not how clever the synopsis is, or how much the writer talks about it.

I should also point out that originality of highly overrated. Originality in no way means a story is going to be good in any sense of the word. Sometimes the reason something has never been done is because it isn't worth doing.

differentiation

JPSC, it all may sound discouraging, but you're ahead of the game.

You've started putting something together.

You came here for input.

And though it's backhanded encouragement, there's very little that's "new" in this world, especially when reduced to "high concept" synopsis.

And that's how you differentiate your writing, your story, yourself. As said above:

Mac H. said:

YouHowever, since your description is written in past tense, I'm guessing that it is the background - the STARTING POINT to the story? If so, then that is quite different - so tell us what the story is actually about. ... I just get the feeling you've told us the STARTING POINT, rather than THE PLOT. They are very different things.

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There ya go! Set it in 2010, or in the sewers of Chicago, or in 1850 Kenya, or on the 7th moon of Saturn 3,000 years after colonisation, or in Gold Rush California. Take the setting you've outlined & tell us a story that isn't immediately obvious from the opening scenery. Tell us what it's like to be the Evil Emperor who's dealing with the 17th -- this week! -- group of Intrepid Adventurers tracking their muddy boots around his nice clean kingdom. Play on absurdity or upon echoes of our realworld history (past or present or predictable future).

And when you get that together, feature that in your queries & website.

Be different.

I give points to JP for knowing how to spell "prophecy".

Prophesy is a verb, just in case anyone else is interested.

JPSpideyCJ said:

Here is a plot summary:

'A long time ago, a race of warriors walked the Earth...."

I've been told online by about te different sources that it sounds cliche and incredibly unfulfilling. I've also been told that the plot of my book has been done-to-death, and is a pale Tolkien immitation.

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I don't read high- or epic fantasy at all. I found Tolkien tedious beyond belief. If you want to kill my interest in a book, put dwarves, elves, dragons, fairies, or anyone with a sword on the cover.

That said, I still found myself thinking, "I've seen all this before."

Then again, the synopsis of the urban fantasy series I'm working on begins with, "An adolescent boy discovers he's a wizard." So who am I to talk about originality?

I'll repeat what's been said before: There are no original plots. The originality is in the execution.

Mac H. said:

I just get the feeling you've told us the STARTING POINT, rather than THE PLOT. They are very different things.

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I agree. I read it, and thought, "Wait. This isn't the story, is it?" Because it gave me the impression that it was the backstory--the stuff that inevitably gets crammed into a Prologue--and not the story itself. It's a history, not a story.

When I read a synopsis, I expect it to be about the characters--who they are, what they want, what they do to get it, and how they succeed (or not). You can have all the epic battles and magical beings and exotic locales you want, but the real story is about what happens to the characters. And this doesn't even tell me who the protagonist is.

dragonheart, i did a drive-by crit on a bit of it, oh, about three weeks or so ago, got no response whatsoever.

agreed with the general comments about originality. it should be entertaining, if nothing else. bear in mind, too, that there's often a fine line between original and stupid. any of us could throw together a hundred conflicting ideas that make no sense whatsoever, then call the sack of crap original. worry about writing well, having great characters and villains, and making a cohesive story.

is your story original? from what i remember of it, eh, no more and no less than anyone else's, really. the premise sounds like most high-fantasy. then we're off to kill the 'ultimate evil/dark lord' at the conclusion of an arduous journey wherein some members of your rag-tag band gets killed. or some variation of that. variations aren't original, imo, as much as it is someone who knows the cliches and sat down with their thinking cap on and worked out some different angles.

knowing now that the odds of you, or any of us, really, truly being original aren't overwhelmingly against us, that should effectively remove any pressure we feel to be original at all and just concentrate on telling the best story we can, eh? doesn't james mcdonald's book about a school of wizardy predate harry potter? i think it does, so that just goes to show you it's not necessarily about being the first to have the idea. dan brown's 'the da vinci code' is so not original it's pathetic, but i'd sure like to have his bank account. you can a lot of fantasy and romance plots, plug in your own names, and just by following the rules of the genre find people interested in it as if originality, or at least the pretention of it, is the last thing they want to read.

in conclusion: originality ~ bah! and if by chance you ever are original, write the thing really well, the timing and the planets are all aligned, you will likely become a wealthy individual as a result.

JP,

It's great that you are enthusiastic about your story. And that you want people to read it. And comment on it.

But what are you going to do with the comments? Change it? Work hard to make it better? I invested some of my time into reading the start of your work to try and help you ... but stopped. Why? I'm getting the impression that you aren't interested in changing anything.

You had TEN people tell you it appeared cliché. More people here added to that. The response should be to CHANGE the story, ADJUST it ... not add arguments as to why you think it isn't!

You've already had a critique on the 'Share your Work' forum, and so have a good start on what to change. You've got some links to threads to learn to improve.

I know you want me to read the entire thing and give you marks on originality .. but it doesn't work like that. Try to learn new things here and include the new techniques in your writing.

You have a huge head-start compared to most others - so make the most of it!

Good luck,

Mac

I agree with Mac H. and most of the other commentators on this thread.

You can't assess originality from an abstract synposis - more than anything, it's your 'voice' and the way you structure your story that will shape how people feel about it.

You've had 10 people telling you that the synopsis is unoriginal and there are people here who are telling you where points sound derivative and yet rather than change your synopsis to address those points, you seem keener to argue about it or want people to read the whole thing. If you're doing this as a marketing ploy to get attention for your work, then you need to know that despite the adage, not all publicity is good publicity.

It's great that you've finished a novel and I understand that you're proud of it and want feedback, but this isn't the way to go about it. In fact, you'd really be better off sitting down and working on a wholly new novel, as it's a far better way of learning the craft than tinkering with bits and pieces of something you've already finished but aren't ready to seriously re-work yet.

MM

And adding to all this pay attention to what James said. There are really no original ideas or plots out there. There are innovative ways of telling them, and writing with a fun voice. But really you need to stop defending your story on the basis that it is original because people will only come back and point out how it is not. If you insist on defending your story (which as others have pointed out is unproductive), defend it on the merit of your storytelling ability, or your voice, or what fresh angle you bring to an old idea.

And dude, you're so young! Take the opportunity to listen and learn and build your abilities. Because you do have a talent, it just needs to be honed.

Good luck!

I am a huge Tolkien fan *points to username* Many people consider Tolkien to be the father of fantasy. I agree with that. However, that also means that ANY fantasy book is going to be, essentially, a Tolkien immitation. There are certain elements to fantasy that just tend to show up, and audiences tend to get sick of them, and that's life. That doesn't mean that everyone else should just give up. Take Eragon for example. A lot of people point to that as a Tolkien immatation, and it does borrow a lot of Tolkien things, but that book has a large fanbase. The trick is to find something that is different. Anyone who wants to write fantasy has to ask first, "What can I bring to the genre that no one else has?" When you write a synopsis, use those points. That's what is going to get people interested, not how long and involved your history is. It's all interesting, but most fantasy books can rattle off a couple of paragraphs about their mythology and battles of the past, and generally, they all sound the same. Everyone has that. Write your synopsis about what you have that they don't. And don't worry that 'they'll be lost and confused if I don't give them all the background.' They won't. Frankly, most of them don't care. They just want to know that there is something in this book to make it worth their time.

I went over to your website to check out your book. (I didn't read all of it, just pieces here and there to get a feel for it) The first thing that came into my mind is this: DID YOU COPYWRITE THIS?!?!? That's really important if you want it just sitting there on the internet, where anyone can see it. It's kind of dangerous. I'm pretty sure that If you print the book out, put it in an envelope, and mail it to yourself and DO NOT open it, that counts as being officially copywrited. Just in case. Anyway, for your age level, just completing a story that big is very impressive, so you should be proud of that. The second thing that I noticed is that the book is very short. My estimation is about 30,000 words, am I right? Most novels break the 100,000 mark, as far as I know.

So, I had a suggestion, which you will probably not like, but I'll give it anyway. You say on the website that this is the first book of a 5 book series? Do you have all 5 books planned out right now? If so, firstly, that would be megga impressive, and also impossible. A five book series sounds great, but that a long way to plan in the furture, and it doesn't leave you a lot of wiggle room in the book you are writing. I can see that as a potential trap that leads you to add pointless fluff to the different books, just so that they are long enough to be seperate and keep it a series. So anyway, this is my suggestion: Why not boil the five down to one? If you said that you want to write a five book series, you obviously have more to say than you put in the first book. And I have no doubt that you have at least a rough idea of what is going to happen in the other four. Why does it have to be five? (Other than the fact that a series sounds glamorous?) If you combined everything you planned on happening into one master plot, chances are, the plot would be tighter, more consise, the characters would be more developed, and ultimately the interest level would be higher, because you would be able to pull out all the stops for this one novel instead of saving certain details to come out in later books. Plus, I can almost guarentee that you would break the 100,000 word mark. Now granted, that will take a very long time, because you would have to go back and completly restructure what you've already written, but in my opinion, less is more in your case. One tight novel will be more compelling, and ulimatly more original that a five book series. Just think about it. It's only a suggestion.

And, from one young aspiring writer to another, I know this is hard, but if you've got the drive to get there, you'll get there, but you have to be open to what people say. Criticism is meant to help you improve, even though it doesn't always feel that way.

One minor thing, TheRingIsMine . . .technically the second you write anything down it is officially copyrighted. In fact you don't really want to copyright anything the way you are suggesting (as in paying for it etc) because then you can't change the material. The material is legally the author's the second the pen hits the paper, or the fingers hit the keys.

TheRingIsMine said:

However, that also means that ANY fantasy book is going to be, essentially, a Tolkien immitation.

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As a son of Howard (or, at least, moreso than of Tolkien), I must shake my head disapprovingly. *shakes head disapprovingly*

In fact to add on to what both Sage and I have said, check out this thread on copyright: http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=58845

TheRingIsMine said:

I went over to your website to check out your book. (I didn't read all of it, just pieces here and there to get a feel for it) The first thing that came into my mind is this: DID YOU COPYWRITE THIS?!?!? That's really important if you want it just sitting there on the internet, where anyone can see it. It's kind of dangerous. I'm pretty sure that If you print the book out, put it in an envelope, and mail it to yourself and DO NOT open it, that counts as being officially copywrited. .

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Well, no, this does not count as being officially copyrighted. This is called "poor man's copyright," and it's a myth that refuses to die, even though it hasn't been valid since about 1910, or almost a hundred years ago.

You can't actually copyright anything. No process exists for copyrighting material because everything is automatically copyrighted the moment you write it. You cannot say "I'm going to copyright this." It's already officially copyrighted.

All the U.S. Copyright office does is put a time stamp on your work so you can prove when you wrote it. All putting in an envelope does is waste an envelope and some stamps.

TheRingIsMine said:

Many people consider Tolkien to be the father of fantasy. I agree with that. However, that also means that ANY fantasy book is going to be, essentially, a Tolkien immitation.

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Um, no.

Tolkien could perhaps be considered the father of a certain genre of fantasy, but not of fantasy itself. There were plenty of writers before him who wrote fiction about other worlds, magic, fantastic beings, and the supernatural. There is also huge amount of fantasy out there that is in no way an imitation of Tolkien.

There are certain elements to fantasy that just tend to show up, and audiences tend to get sick of them, and that's life.

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No, they don't "just tend to show up." Authors put them there.

Now, some authors write these things well. They give them a new twist, turn them inside out, use humor, write incredible characters, and otherwise infuse them with their own ideas. However, too many authors write them badly, having cribbed them from other books and spit them back out, virtually unchanged--which is why so many readers will groan when they see those elements again. That's not just "life"; it's a sign that you, as a writer, have your work cut out for you if you're going to surprise and delight your readers.

Anyone who wants to write fantasy has to ask first, "What can I bring to the genre that no one else has?" When you write a synopsis, use those points. That's what is going to get people interested, not how long and involved your history is....Frankly, most of them don't care. They just want to know that there is something in this book to make it worth their time.

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And to prove I'm not just a mean old lady, I agree with you on this.

Do you have all 5 books planned out right now? If so, firstly, that would be megga impressive, and also impossible. A five book series sounds great, but that a long way to plan in the furture, and it doesn't leave you a lot of wiggle room in the book you are writing.

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Eh--I wouldn't say it's impossible. I'm working on the first book of a trilogy (that may be part of a longer series) and I'm plotting all three books at the same time because there's a lot of setup and foreshadowing that has to happen in the first book. I don't have the next two books plotted out in great detail, but it's enough to know where the overall story's going.

A better example is JK Rowling--you can bet she had all seven Harry Potter books pretty much figured out in advance. She gave herself some "wiggle room," to be sure, but the most important elements of the story were planned out long before the books were written.

Look, I'll be honest. JPSpideyCJ is really young, and as much as I admire his drive and determination, he's still learning. He still has a lot of growing to do, and if writing a five-book series is part of that growing and learning, I think he should just go ahead and do it. And since he's young, he has plenty of time to write all five books. Even if they never gets published, he'll still have plenty of time to enjoy a career as a writer.

Maybe later he'll decide the series needs to be only three books, or maybe he'll decide he needs to add a subplot--I haven't read his books, so I have no idea what changes he might make. I'm just guessing. But he's learning how to be a writer by putting his butt in a chair and writing, and he's got a story he's genuinely interested in. And he's young. He has time on his side. So for now, I'd be less concerned with how many books he has planned, and focus more on the mechanics of telling his story in a fresh, compelling way.

(By the way--sorry to refer to you in the third person in your own thread, JPSCJ. That seems a bit odd.)

indeed, i'd plotted out a four book series (i wanted four just to be a jackass). i got bored with it and stopped, but the idea remains. say what you will about the quack, but ron l. hubbard did a decalogy (sp?), a ten book series. in all, it's not that impressive when someone says 'i plan on a trilogy! la di da.' trilogies are pretty standard for fantasy of the tolkien stripe, and serves as one reason why i quit the genre for many years. it was all just so much pointless filler and often difficult to get all three books if they weren't all published.

anyhoo, yeah, i'd say homer had a pretty good handle on fantasy, lol. i can go along with tolkien having given us the *modern* version of a particular genre of fantasy, as mentioned. i aded the 'modern' part to make it seem as if i know what the hell i'm talking about. there's an old painting depicting a pair of knights slogging through a forest with a billion elves and fairies and whatnot swarming around them, the grizzled old man in armour just looking pissed off. the painting illustrated how all the stories at the time had an overabudance of fantasy creatures that just clogged the scenery (i wish i could find this painting. i'd seen it in a book about king arthur). maybe what makes tolkien's stuff stand out as modern (ish) is the themes he worked with that simply didn't exist in ye olde ftoryies, i dunno (discounting, of course, the supposed homosexual themes. rumour is him and his buddy had been rogering each other the entire time). note that i'm not a huge fan of themes, but i have to concede the fact that fantasy is often allegorical.

'eragon.' i read just a few paragraphs before putting it down. if the movie is in any way fairly represenative of the book... bwahahahahaha! i *had* to see this movie, hoping it was terrible. and i wasn't disappointed. my favourite line goes something like: 'to use magick you first must learn the ancient language of the elves.' oh, man, i was rolling. if i knew how, i'd make my own 'mystery science theatre 3000' version of this mess. 'if you want to use magick you first must learn how to make armpit noises.' difference is i'd be drinking beer the entire movie. story-wise, 'eragon' is one huge rolling cliche after another.