View Full Version : Never Ending Story

T Knight
04-12-2007, 04:57 AM
Ok heres a silly little game. I am going to start a sentence. Then I want YOU to carry it on. The idea is normally is to come up with a story from it that is both funny and entertaining. However as we are all aspiring writers here how about we actually try to make the story make sense.

Imagine if it actually became so good we got it published, wonder who would get the money?

Anyway, sorry I am rambling, so here is the start and remember you can only add one sentence at a time.

The day had been surprisingly calm considering the circumstances.

07-11-2007, 07:31 PM
After all, the elephant stampede through downtown Louisville had ended without a single casualty, either elephant or human.

07-11-2007, 10:27 PM
A small, spectacled man sat quietly in a beaten-up AMC Gremlin, clutching a double-barreled .600 rifle and thinking of how he'd soon change all that.

07-11-2007, 11:24 PM
He took aim, but was distracted by a beautiful woman running by, wearing only a smile and a towel.

07-12-2007, 01:42 AM
The red letters on the white towel read "Have a Good Time for a Great Price at Sally's, 221 A Taurt Street.

Jersey Chick
07-12-2007, 01:48 AM
His jaw dropped and he twitched, squeezing the trigger and putting a bullet through his windshield.

07-12-2007, 01:51 AM
"At Sally's!!!! 221 A Taurt Street!!!!!!, What the hell!!!???" he shouted--that's my wife and that's our address!!!"

07-12-2007, 03:08 AM
He raced home just as the police arrived and began forcibly removing men who were banging angrily on his door.

07-13-2007, 12:41 AM
He was forced to stop, and jumped out of the way just in time as an elephant tore through his front porch, sending wood splinters and angry men everywhere.

07-13-2007, 01:05 AM
The police fired their guns in an attempt to stop the elephant but only got it turned towards Churchill Downs and the Derby crowd.

07-15-2007, 03:27 AM
Our hero ran back to his Gremlin and drove after the elephant, propping the .600 on the dashboard while its twin barrels stuck out of the smashed windshield.

07-15-2007, 03:36 AM
He cut the elephant down in a spray of bullets, jerked a picnic hamper from a passing family, dumped the food out, threw the gun in, ducked in among the Derby throng, but couldn't hide from the aliens and their superior technology who were able to separate him out from the crowd and take him on board their ship.

08-15-2007, 12:25 AM
With him secure on board their ship they headed back for their base near Alpha Centauri.

08-15-2007, 12:26 AM
They had no idea what awaited them just outside of jupiter.

Jersey Chick
08-15-2007, 12:36 AM
An asteroid field!

08-15-2007, 05:57 AM
The enemy lost no time launching electronic-seeking missiles at the Sirixian ship with its human passenger.

08-16-2007, 04:39 AM
The Sirixians easily deflected all the missiles.

08-17-2007, 05:30 AM
The enemy then aimed a Dimension Ray and unable to deflect it, the Sirixians were flipped through a hole in space to another dimension and found themselves in orbit around a strange planet.

08-22-2007, 05:21 PM
When they investigated they found it had intelligent life in the form of centaurs who called themselves the Manowars.

08-24-2007, 07:42 AM
The only other habitable planet in the system belonged to a race of intelligent flying cats called the Sahrangs.

08-28-2007, 10:03 PM
The Sirixians quickly gathered volunteers from each planet. Nearaha from the Manowars and Siakar from the Sahrangs, fixed their ship and returned to Earth.

08-29-2007, 03:32 AM
Upon re-entry, Earth smelled like sushi -- an unfamiliar scent, both fresh and spicy, rising in the atmosphere and heralding their arrival on the blue planet.

08-29-2007, 05:48 AM
They had landed close to an Asian Buffet and Earth passenger Jason King hurriedly went to buy enough sushi for himself and Siakar, who was very anxious to taste this new delicacy.

08-30-2007, 06:46 AM
On his way back to the ship a colony of feral cats tripped him and stole all the sushi.

09-02-2007, 02:10 AM
After munching it down, the cats all dropped dead.

09-02-2007, 05:51 AM
He was about to investigate the dead cats, when he forced back by a herd of elephants trampling all the evidence, followed by a beautiful woman running by, wearing only a smile and a towel.

09-03-2007, 07:56 AM
King cursed as he surveyed the twice-killed cats, then called Siakar on his communicator.

09-11-2007, 05:36 AM
Immediately an alien forensic team came to gather up what they could of the dead cats in order to try to learn what killed them.

09-11-2007, 07:27 AM
It didn't take them long to discover that the cats were not actually dead, but in an extended hyper-sleep brought on by earths scaled fish, not 'skinned', as on their planet.

09-12-2007, 08:03 PM
They put the cats in stasis and Jason went for more sushi.

09-12-2007, 09:43 PM
While munching on his Hawaiian Exotic Squid Roll at a window side table, out of the corner of his eye Jason caught sight of one, then two, then three absolute duplicates of the cats, he knew to be dead.

09-12-2007, 11:36 PM
In wide-eyed horror, he saw that the cats had not only the ability to duplicate themselves, but to continue replicating their bodies over and over, and within minutes Jason found himself surrounded by dozens, then hundreds, then thousands of cats multiplying ad infinitum, their intent as clear as it was evil--to devour the world's entire supply of sushi!

09-14-2007, 06:39 PM
Jason hurriedly called Siakar and told him of the dastardly plot while the restaurant employees mobilized to defend their sushi, as did all the sushi lovers in Louisville.

09-16-2007, 06:51 AM
One of the cats knocked the communicator from his hand, and Jason, realizing he had no choice, drew his automatic elephant gun.

09-16-2007, 07:25 AM
He took aim and pulled the trigger, CLICK, he forgot to reload after mowing down the elephants.

09-16-2007, 07:42 AM
One of the cats lunged for him, only to have its skull instantly pulverized by the butt of Jason's rifle.

09-16-2007, 08:13 AM
Another cat lunged for a ten-year-old boy's sushi but the boy pulled a small yet powerful watergun and drove it back with well-aimed blasts at its face.

09-17-2007, 07:01 AM
Unfortunately, the water stopped the cat for only a moment before the cat duplicated before their very eyes. The water had caused a chemical reaction in the strange cat that sped up the multiplication process!

09-17-2007, 07:20 AM
Siakar and a hundred alien commandos shuttled down from the ship to get as much sushi as they could back to the ship for safekeeping.

09-18-2007, 03:24 AM
On one of their trips they brought an experimental Anti-Duplicating liquid and huge waterguns to shoot it from.

09-20-2007, 01:55 AM
Unfortunately a gigantic SUV fell from the sky, crushing half of them, smashing all the water guns, and spilling all the anti-duplicating liquid down a sewer drain.

09-23-2007, 07:56 AM
The alien commander decided she had lost enough trying to defend Earth's sushi and ordered the ship readied for departure.

09-24-2007, 06:50 PM
However, when the ship is fired up for takeoff all it does is pass gas.

09-26-2007, 06:31 AM
The gas, a highly radioactive substance, had a surprisingly comical effect on the cats.

09-26-2007, 09:07 PM
The cats dance like puppets whose strings are pulled, which causes hysterical laughter on the part of the crew.

09-30-2007, 06:34 AM
The captain quickly had them dance the cats into the nearest volcano.

10-01-2007, 05:23 AM
Unfortunately, the volcanic gases counteracted the comical effects on the cats, and before they could dance into superheated oblivion, they attacked the crew.

10-01-2007, 06:31 AM
The volcano chose that moment to erupt, spewing lava up into a big molten river which sent the crew running for their lives.

10-01-2007, 07:01 AM
As they ran down the hill, they all spotted strange balloons emerging from the gaseous fluid, and one by one they hung on to them. Slowly they drifted away towards safety until . . .

10-04-2007, 04:16 AM
the cat claws broke through the balloons.+

10-05-2007, 07:56 PM
In a vicious explosion, the cats were each launched to the farthest reaches of Hoboken, New Jersey.

10-05-2007, 10:16 PM
Though few people know this, Hoboken was named after a hobo called Ken, whose passion was--and still is--to poison all the cats in the world.

10-07-2007, 07:43 PM
Ken quickly poisoned all the sushi in Hoboken and threw it to the cats.

10-08-2007, 10:54 PM
But as everyone knows, cats thrive on poison, and they quickly grew more monstrous and cunning than ever before...

10-08-2007, 11:21 PM
They soon united in what was later referred to as the "Meouw Mafia" under the leadership of the scrupulous Persian Paul Tobin...

John Paton
10-15-2007, 02:01 PM
luckily though the bullets were made from frozen yoghurt and raspberry jam. They melted and cats licked the puddle the bullets made on the floor.

It gave them renewed strength but embarassing flatulence.

10-15-2007, 05:52 PM
Cat flatulence is worse than that of a dog. The town of Hoboken found it neccessary to distribute gas masks to all the inhabitants, including the dogs.

10-17-2007, 03:06 AM
But by now the cats were large and strong enough to handle even an Irish Wolfhound.

10-17-2007, 03:46 AM
What they didn't expect, however, was a komodo dragon. Having swum all the way from Indonesia, the monstrous lizard crawled out of the ocean near Hoboken and began devouring the cats.

10-17-2007, 05:53 AM
Every last cat was DEAD! No resurection, no magic formula.. just dead and of course gone.

10-17-2007, 07:28 AM
Jason and the aliens gathered up all the surviving sushi and took it back to their ship.

John Paton
10-17-2007, 09:04 AM
their Captain could hold on no longer and fell hundreds of feet onto very soft concrete.

10-17-2007, 09:15 AM
He sunk into the concrete and a dog pulled him out by tugging on his leg.

10-18-2007, 12:31 AM
The captain woke to warm liquid splashing on his face.

10-18-2007, 04:15 AM
The dog slowly lowered his leg and looked very relieved.

10-18-2007, 06:04 PM
The captain thought "why did I were this silly hydrant shaped hat today?"

10-21-2007, 09:05 AM
His second in command flicked her raven tresses over her shoulder and flashed limpid blue eyes framed with feathery lashes at him as she purred, "That's to keep the alien rays from reaching your brain, silly."

10-23-2007, 09:58 AM
Alien rays.... I had forgotten all about them, but then he realized there was nothing protecting her and her raven locks from the alien rays... and realizes she is now his enemy.

10-27-2007, 07:03 AM
She drops her hand to the thigh of her black uniform, and he thinks, what the hell, our uniforms are green, but of course she's not really wearing a uniform, it's a CATsuit, a black leather catsuit, but before he can react she unholsters her gun and shoots. He falls back, thinking he's been hit, but there isn't any pain. He looks up at the gun. There's no smoke, just a little sign popping out of the muzzle. It says "Hi, Sailor."

"Hi, you," he says back, and doffs his helmet.

She smiles. It would be a pretty smile, except for the pointed teeth. She raises a hand and snaps her fingers, once. A door irises open behind her, and a dozen men in banana suits file into the room.

"Hello," says Our Hero. "I don't think we're in Kansas any more."

11-12-2007, 03:59 PM
"We are taking you to New Kansas.", the woman says.

11-18-2007, 12:03 AM
New Kansas hadn't looked the same since the invasion of the Chihooky locust almost five years ago.

11-21-2007, 10:45 PM
Shoots of new grass are beginning to make it through the devastated earth, but it's a slow process as these particular locusts emit a toxin that is extremely destructive to all plant life.

12-14-2007, 07:44 AM
Our heroes released huge flocks of superbirds to eat the locusts.

12-16-2007, 03:30 AM
But the birds got indigestion from eating too many locusts and pooped all over the struggling plants, at which point the plants began to grow and grow and grow.

12-16-2007, 09:07 PM
They turned carnivorous and began themselves eating the locusts.

12-16-2007, 11:11 PM
Horrible indigestion ensued.

01-07-2008, 04:55 AM
The ship fired antacid spray everywhere.

01-07-2008, 04:59 AM
But the tourists on the cruise still insisted on getting their money back.

01-18-2008, 12:26 PM
They knew they could get either a refund or two free tickets to the next cruise.

02-07-2008, 06:44 AM
The next cruise went through the Bermuda Triangle.

02-08-2008, 03:35 AM
Those who would disappear could ask for a half-refund on the round trip ticket.

02-08-2008, 09:45 PM
Unfortunately, a freak windstorm sank the ship in port.

02-08-2008, 09:59 PM
A sudden undertow did manage to drag half the passengers toward the fabled Triangle until the sharks showed up for brunch.

02-10-2008, 12:12 AM
He ran shouting for them to bring it back!

02-13-2008, 01:46 AM
No one wanted it back, not even the sharks.

02-14-2008, 04:37 AM
It was finally the sorceress Morgan who found a use for it.

02-14-2008, 04:39 AM
A use so trencherous to mankind, she couldn't tell a soul.

02-16-2008, 03:06 AM
Not that souls were listening, they had better things to do.

02-17-2008, 10:09 AM
They were busy posting on the Essential Writer website.

02-17-2008, 03:45 PM
Which wasn't nearly as good as the AW site.

02-17-2008, 08:41 PM
The souls moved here when they discovered this website.

02-18-2008, 01:00 AM
They had Uhauls and extra packing tape.

02-20-2008, 06:19 AM
Moving done, all the souls watched the roan horse charge down the stretch.

02-20-2008, 07:14 PM
Hitting every boutique kiosk and stall, the horse racked up an impressive credit charge.

02-21-2008, 06:12 AM
Luckily her winnings more than paid the bill.

02-21-2008, 03:57 PM
Taking home a handsome stud, she locked the door then waved the rest of the money, 'Dance, ponyboy.'

Jenan Mac
02-21-2008, 08:38 PM
They especially tried to save the eel rolls, which were Siakar's new favorite.

02-22-2008, 08:12 AM
Siakar really liked them, even if they were somewhat shocking.

02-23-2008, 12:29 AM
With a few cups of hot saki, even eel tasted good.

02-25-2008, 02:27 AM
New aliens came and began stealing famous horses.

02-25-2008, 02:57 AM
The horses bit the aliens and left to find a good oatmeal stout.

02-25-2008, 03:08 AM
None of the local pubs would serve their kind.

02-25-2008, 03:11 AM
Miffed, the horses formed a union and kicked ass.

02-25-2008, 08:31 AM
Soon all pubs served oats and timothy.

02-25-2008, 11:48 AM
But the asses quit serving and set up a picket line.

Jenan Mac
02-25-2008, 09:41 PM
The aliens refused to cross it.

02-25-2008, 09:44 PM
Except for one alien, Slaako.

02-26-2008, 01:10 AM
Slaako didn't care what the asses thought.

02-26-2008, 01:43 AM
The asses actually weren't thinking, they just stood there with glazed looks on their faces watching Mr. Ed reruns on the 72" plasma bar TV.

02-26-2008, 04:18 AM
Slaako stole all the beer while Mr. Ed cavorted.

02-26-2008, 05:46 PM
Sobering fast, the asses stampeded Slaako, unfortunately breaking all the bottles.

02-26-2008, 07:58 PM
Slaako ran for his life.

02-27-2008, 03:38 AM
200 asses followed, some of them were even two-legged.

02-27-2008, 05:18 AM
Slaako managed to reach his spaceship and barricade himself inside.

02-27-2008, 10:24 AM
He then prepared for the attack of the millions of zombies zombies...who we didn't know about before now.

02-29-2008, 03:58 AM
The asses fled at sight of the zombies.

03-14-2008, 06:51 PM
The zombies liked asses, they didn't care whose.

03-14-2008, 07:22 PM
Soon the zombies ruled the world.

03-14-2008, 10:32 PM
Far and wide, all feared the zombies and their unsurmountable asses.

03-14-2008, 11:41 PM
A contest started, 'Can You Get a Zombie's Ass?' that was the new reality TV show.

03-15-2008, 05:44 AM
Another new reality show was a contest to see who could get the closest to a tornado and live to show off their home videos.

03-23-2008, 05:39 AM
Watching, the zombies laughed their asses off at the losers.

03-23-2008, 06:16 AM
Their laughter ended when the tornado scattered their bones far and wide.

03-24-2008, 12:32 PM
As the dust began to settle, a rather pitiful V6 engine warbled as a lime green AMC Gremlin approached, crunching bones and zombie remains.

03-24-2008, 11:12 PM
Gremlins ran best on zombie dust, even if it did clog their intake valves.

03-24-2008, 11:43 PM
But even with zombie dust they could not outpace Bernardini.

03-25-2008, 12:06 AM
Some time later, after the gremlins had switched from zombis to black-and-tans, they went home with the woman Bernardini had had his eye on ALL EVENING.

03-25-2008, 04:21 AM
He sighed and went home with Rags to Riches instead.

04-17-2008, 01:29 PM
Rags to Riches acted more like 'Nags to Bitches' so Bernardini kicked her out of his pied a stall.

04-17-2008, 03:39 PM
Furious at being rejected, she jumped into Street Sense's paddock.

04-17-2008, 03:59 PM
Street Sense told her to hoof it. He wasn't through sowing his wild oats and she was too long in the tooth for him.

04-21-2008, 04:46 AM
She hoofed it into Holy Bull's paddock and their offspring won the Derby four years later.

04-21-2008, 09:36 PM
Holy Bull tried to become a papal bull but ended up tossing idjits in Pamplona instead.

04-24-2008, 06:16 AM
The black bull charged at the matador.

04-24-2008, 01:36 PM
The matador pulled out a gameboy and ignored the bull, causing it to become confused and jealous.

04-25-2008, 05:55 AM
The bull tore the red cloak to shreds.

05-17-2008, 04:58 PM
The bull took out an Ipod and danced to Carmen by Bizet.

05-18-2008, 08:27 AM
The cows were not impressed.

05-19-2008, 09:19 PM
As it turned out, the bull wasn't real light on his feet.

05-21-2008, 05:39 PM
He was therefore sent to Spain.