Writer/Editor etiquette: when to use first names?

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Pat~

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I got a handwritten note back from an editor this week asking if she could retain my poem for use in a future column, and she signed off with her first name only. She has a rather lengthy, hyphenated last name; in my reply to her, should I continue to use "Dear Ms. _____-_____, or should I use her first name? This is not the first communication I've had with her; she's published me once before, but I'm not sure if it's unprofessional to use her first name in correspondence.
 

Namatu

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I always tend to be formal in my business communications at first, but if the other party invokes first name only, I'd follow suit.

Congrats on the poem!
 

limitedtimeauthor

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I'll bet I'm breaking all the rules, sigh. I use first name as soon as possible. Not in the first interaction of course. But it seems awkward to write "Ms. So and So" if they sign everything with their first name and address me by my first name.

Sorry I can't really give you an authoritative answer. Gosh, now I wonder if I've been committing a terrible faux pas. (Although, like I said, if they're still calling me "Ms. Limited," I would continue calling them "Ms. So and So.")

ltd.
 

maestrowork

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If the agent wrote "Hi Pat," I don't see any reason why you can't write back with a "Hi Jen."

I do that all the time (with business associates, clients, corporate executives). Once you get past the initial formality, you can relax a bit.
 

Pat~

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Thanks for the feedback, namutu, ltd., maestro. You made a good point; she did address me as "Dear Pat," so I guess that'd be strange to keep calling her by her last name.
 

Claudia Gray

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As the others have said, follow the editor's lead. Most editors are going to want to be on a first-name basis with you fairly early on, I'd think.
 

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This is something I always stress about at work or when addressing someone I don't actually know over e-mail (like when I was researching for an earlier novel). It's good to know the proper ettiquette for it (& better to know that it was what I have done in the past).
 

PeeDee

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I always make up a nickname for them which I use from the get-go, and I always add the word "baby"

Donny Maass is great, for example. Just start it off Donny, baby, you're beautiful! Here's what I got fer ya!

Works every time.
 

Birol

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That's a good question right now.
Start business-like and professional, but it's okay to relax after you've had some interaction.

ETA: And ignore PeeDee. Seriously. If you run an ezine or anything, just put him on your ignore list.
 

PeeDee

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Lori, baby, you're a superstar! You're a star, twinkle twinkle!

Call me! We'll do lunch! Okay, beautiful! Ta!
 

Pat~

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jodiodi

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I think I'm a little late in going to the first name. I tend to use Mr. and Ms./Mrs. for some time, even if the other person uses their first name. I think it's being raised in the south where we were also taught to say ma'am and sir.

But if they're calling you by your first name, then I think it'd be safe. I just have grandmothers looking over my shoulder that keep me from doing it too early.
 

maestrowork

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Well, once they start calling me "Raymond," I tend to start signing "Ray." And usually they just get it and would start addressing me as "Ray."
 
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