FAQ: What can I do with a Squashed Gopher?

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Deleted member 42

Many, many members have asked, so I'm going to provide the definitive answer: with a squashed gopher, you make gopher stew.

GOPHER STEW

6 lbs. gopher meat
1/4 lb. salt pork, cubed
3 Spanish onions, diced
5 stalks celery, diced
1 bell pepper, diced
3 (16 oz.) cans sliced tomatoes
10 c. water
2 datil peppers, whole
Salt and pepper to taste
3 potatoes, cubes
5 tbsp. brown flour (heat the flower, stirring gently, in a frying pan until all of it is lightly browned)
1/2 c. water

Thoroughly clean gopher meat, and drain off accumulated goo.

Render the salt pork in a good size iron pot.

Add meat and brown. Remove meat, drain on paper towels.

Add onions, celery and bell pepper to salt pork grease and saute until tender and slightly translucent.

Add tomatoes and a little water if needed and cook down to a pulp on low heat for about 2 hours.

Add gopher meat, 10 cups water and datil peppers and salt and pepper to taste.

Cook about 1 1/2 hours or until meat is tender.

Add potatoes the last 30 minutes of cooking.

Mix brown flour with water in a glass jar and shake vigorously.

Add Maker's Mark to taste; reserve large amounts for lubricating the cook.

Bring stew to a boil and thicken with flour mixture. Serve over rice
 

Haggis

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I was getting ready to make this, but I ran out of datil peppers.
 

Unique

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I was gonna say, 'Do lunch' but it's already been served.
 

louisgodwin

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::munching::

Kinda tastes like chicken.
 

Deleted member 42

Can one add or substitute eggplant in this recipe?

Yes, of course, eggplant is always good. You'll likely need less Maker's Mark though, which means more for the cook; also always good.
 

Braydie

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I live way out in the country, and there's never a lack of roadkill in our area. Can possum or groundhog be substituted for gopher, or would one lose a certain distinct texture or flavor? We have so many recipes for what's available, and, it's just so tedious to separate the innards from the muscle if it isn't worth the effort. I'd hate to waste a perfectly good smashed groundhog.
 

Deleted member 42

I live way out in the country, and there's never a lack of roadkill in our area. Can possum or groundhog be substituted for gopher, or would one lose a certain distinct texture or flavor?

The beauty of a recipe like this one is that it's exceedingly flexible; the squashed gopher can easily replaced by the roadkill or tofu of your choice. The Maker's Mark, however, can't really be replaced, though the amount of course (for the stew or the cook) is a matter of personal taste. I should warn you that Jack Daniels will have a deletarious effect.
 

C.bronco

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Pagey's_Girl

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Muskrat also makes an acceptable substitute, especially if marinated overnight in a little red wine and Worcestershire sauce...
 

robeiae

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If you are going to use muskrat, you have to serve it in a captain's hat.

And there are other things I can do with a squashed gopher:

I can use it as a toupee
I can insulate my stereo components with it
I can make it into a fuzzy slingshot
I can put it in my salad at a restaurant and get a free meal
I can sell it to Taco Bell, for use as filling
I can put it in a blender, add vinegar and make perfume (ode de Gopher)

Just for starters.
 

Unique

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I didn't know you were so creative, robeiae. I mean ... I knew you were but

SHAZAAM!

move along... nothing here to see. .. ..
 
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