Cutting Class

Cell phone. Music. Land line. One, two or all three: Gone.

Ol' Fashioned Girl said:

Cell phone. Music. Land line. One, two or all three: Gone.

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Yep.

I skipped so many classes during my teenage years -- so I guess I am not in a position to give you advice. I still made good grades, though, so my parents didn't even know I cut classes. But anyway, there has to be better ways than just punishment. For me, punishment didn't work. It has to be some kind of reward -- positive reinforcement -- but short of being a "bribe." That is, it can't be used for negotiations. It has to be "spontaneous" and unexpected.

Like the watch my dad gave me because I made it into a prestigious school. There were never talks about getting any reward for anything. My dad just sprung that one on me. I still remember it.

So, I still cut classes. A lot. But I managed to get really good grades as well.

Ship her off to a country where the kids are GRATEFUL for the chance to go to school !

no- wait - that only works with eating your peas.

Give her a lecture on when YOU were a kid, and school was . . . Wait, no, that won't work either. They didn't have school back then, she'd never fall for it.

Make her write on the chalk board I Will Never Cut Class 10,000 times.

no, that only works with spitwads.




Sell her on eBay?

maestrowork said:

For me, punishment didn't work. It has to be some kind of reward -- positive reinforcement -- but short of being a "bribe." That is, it can't be used for negotiations. It has to be "spontaneous" and unexpected.

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I'm betting you don't have kids.

I say beat her hard.

Kill her. It's the only way to get kids to listen nowadays.

Do you have an old typewriter? Make her type "I will not cut class because my education is valuable." 500 times. (I remember typing "I will not smoke at XX Sunny Valley Road" 500 times.)
My friend's mom used to dump a bucket of cold water over her head. I always thought that was pretty creative (and entertaining to bystanders).

Parkinsonsd said:

I'm betting you don't have kids.

I say beat her hard.

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LOL. No I don't have kids. But I was one, and punishment didn't work on me. Eventually my parents gave up on punishment. They stopped beating me or punishing me or grounding me when I was about 8. They realized, it just didn't work.

I had TWO breakthroughs during my childhood and they were BOTH positive reinforcements -- that I was rewarded, to my surprise, for doing well and applying myself. There was NO greater feeling than to feel appreciated and respected and valued. And that was the greatest motivation for me to continue to do well -- not to get a fix, but to feel good about myself. I went from failing classes to being at the top of my class in a matter of months.

Threaten to walk her to her first class, right to the classroom . . . everyday. In front of all her friends. While wearing the clothes you wore as a teenager.

A fate worse than death.

Today my mother called me an hour before my Chaucer class. She said, "hey, we are coincidentally in town and eating at one of the best restaurants. Come on out."


I say, "Mom, I have a class in an hour."


Mom: "Skip it."


So, what should I do, punish my mother for making me skip a class during my senior year of college while I am in my mid-twenties?

Really people, the question is pertinent.

I had the lamb shoulder with arugala and garbonzo bean salad, by the way. And a beer. And she paid.


Jay baby, the answer to your question is that there is not much you can actually do. If you take away things at home she is just going to try and stay out, if you set a curfew on that too it will be broken leading to more penalties. You see the cycle of course. Set down reasonable expectations, have a discussion. Set certain goals to be met by certain times. For instance: In three months I would like to see you have done "this" or "that" if you do "this or that" or "this and that" then there is an appropriate reward. If not then I will beat you to within an inch of your life and take your cell phone. (Note: The incentive laced contract with appropriate detriments to not attaining the performance incentives.) All restrictions and "grounding" and stern rule do is alienating her until she is about 19 or 20 when she decides that she really does love her mom and all that teenage crap was silly. Though, if you want to make life more difficult by all means throw a fit and make promises you can't enforce. I just know that it probably won't work.

Anyway, that is just me. Will you cut class with me next time I decide to miss Chaucer? (Lunch is on you.)

W

Jaycinth said:

"Those kids are cutting second period class, Boy won't their parent's be p.o.'d."

Then I recognize the kids.

One of them is mine.

So I pull up next to them and say :"HI!"

One kid took off. Mine, and the ones I recognized stayed and tried to explain to me that it was the break between classes and they were just going for a soda.

So I made them walk back to school, and followed them to make sure they went inside.

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I'm sorry but . *sigh* Memories. Seriously, I think you need to punish her based on personality type. What works for one doesn’t work for another.

alleycat said:

Threaten to walk her to her first class, right to the classroom . . . everyday. In front of all her friends. While wearing the clothes you wore as a teenager.

A fate worse than death.

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I probably would have been grounded for life if I'd cut class like that and gotten caught...

Tell her if she doesn't work hard in school she might end up earning her living as a midlist writer.

That should about do it.

Ol' Fashioned Girl said:

Cell phone. Music. Land line. One, two or all three: Gone.

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Yuppers Jay, take away any one of their electronic communications and they'll bawl like babies...
My teen even has a name for her cell phone---Baby Freddie.

ETA: Btw does your school have EDLINE? I can follow my teen around all day long on this computer school site..even tells me if she is 1 minute late for class.

Practice tough love . . . take her to a Taco Bell new employee training class. Or a prison. Show her what the future will be like . . .

You just need to get some kind of fast food restaurant uniform and take it home for her to try on. "Why, honey, you look great in dull brown. And that hat is to die for!"

I would try having a chat with her about why she skipped class today. Start with, "I can understand why...", or "I remember I hated my second period class...". Some thing along those lines. There could be bigger issues. A good heart to heart never hurts.

This could also explain why her grades are low. Visit her HS and ask them to print up an attendance sheet on her. You can then see what classes she is missing.

One of my friends had trouble with her teenage girl... told her to be home by 11pm from a school function. Kid didn't show.

My friend went to get her. Parked at the school stadium and walked all the way to the building where the function had been held, passing all through all of the crowds of teens 'til she finally found her daughter talking to some friends outside the building.

To this day, Kim will turn bright red when we remind her of the night Mom picked her up... dressed in her nightgown, ratty old robe and pink fuzzy slippers.

Jaycinth said:

Cutting class...combined with absymal grades erodes that trust.

I am very, very disappointed. My feelings are hurt. I do not want to have to follow her around like a cop, but it looks like I will have to.

I am being forced to sellout to the establishment..to be 'the man'
...and I have to tell the other parents. I hate that.

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Jay,
Take her to her room where she and give her the "disappointment" speech. How you thought she had been really mature, but that grades and cutting class have shown you this is not true and it's disappointed you. That it hurts you.

That speech used to kill me. I'd feel so bad and so guilty. After you're done saying your piece, let her know that you are too upset to think of a fitting punishment right now, and walk away.

Or you could follow her around school all of one day in tatty sweats with your hair all not done, and embarrass the living daylights out of her. Let her know that it will continue for one day each month until she gets her act together.

Oh, hi there, Jaycinth's daughter!

We're just getting started good. Wait until you hear of all the things we come up with. You won't be able to get a date until you're 30.

(Just teasing! ;-)

Hey Jays daughter--my baby girl is 16. I have a lot of tricks up my sleave--
Just kidding sweetie--be good to your Mama.