Fight Scenes

Sej · Mar 22, 2007

Hi all,
In my current wip, I have arrived at a scene between my mage hero (Jadz) and a legendary warrior (Orph). He has the key and she wants it. The whole novel so far is about both of them being manipulated into believing they must have the key. I have set the scene in Orphs home (the indoor setting will severely restrict Jadz use of magic). Orph follows the trail of dead bodies and finds Jadz in his study. The fight starts here but whatever I seem to write, it just does not sound right or seem to fit or sounds very messy. On my first try I made it too long, this I know as I almost fell into a self induced comma when I read it back to myself. On my second try I went for; keep it short and simple and that just felt like “wow I read 10 chapters and she stabbed him that was it!” other attempts just sound messy and I am becoming frustrated that I can’t seem to write a simple one on one fight scene. Going to go back to reading see if I can get some ideas from others will probably dig out my old copy of Dune or something but please if you have any hints or tips on fight scenes please let me know

thanks
Steve

Cathy C · Mar 22, 2007

Well, first, your hero is outclassed physically. If the heroine is a "legendary" warrior, she's no slouch and mages aren't known for having much spare time (between learning their craft and existing) to train for battle. In the real world, she'd be able to slice him in two in about two seconds. It would be better to make it a standstill at first, with him using his magic (staff, amulet, wards, etc.) and her using brute strength. If she stabs him, it should be because a) he's out of power or his focus gets damaged; or b) she's also crafty and feinted well.

Concentrate on fantasy novels where a mage is using magic against muscle. A good one is the second book of the Mercedes Lackey Herald-Mage series, Magic's Promise. I'm pretty sure I remember a couple of good fight scenes in some of Uncle Jim's books, but darned if I can remember the name of the right one. You might PM him or maybe he'll drop by and see this.

Good luck!

Teraphim · Mar 22, 2007

fight scenes are overrated.

if you can't write a good one, don't force it out.

look at it as your subconscious telling you that what you have built up will be more interesting to your audience than the expected combat if you find alternatives to the ho-hum magic vs muscle fight we've all read a thousand times since we first cracked open a Conan book when we were ten.

fight scenes are overrated. they are the release of dramatic tension. maintaining that dramatic tension, and doing creative, unconventional things will make the scenes more interesting, and open up your story options.

JPSpideyCJ · Mar 22, 2007

The enemy is originally using magic to outwit your warrior. Then the magic is damaged in some way and they fight using brute muscles.

Mr. Jinx · Mar 22, 2007

With fight scenes I think the shorter the better. Not too short, but fight scenes that go on too long get bogged down in thier own detail and it gets old (this is definately my opinion though).

I'm a big fan of the western (and wierd western) genre. Sometimes after a whole book the two enemeies face off and - Bang - one of them is shot dead. There may be a couple of shots but the battles are short and sweet but no less satisfying.

Here is just an example off the top of my head:
You could emphasise the warrior's brutality (if he is brutal) by having him smash the door in and overturn tables and the mage is initially surprised by his appearance and all the violence. His first spells might be used to restrain the warrior (for some reason) but the warrior is too strong and breaks free. Finally he weaves a spell that hyper-expands the warriors muscles and to the warriors surprise he suffocates under his own over developed bulk.

It might sound a little comical but if the fight symbolizes both of their approaches it should feel satisfying when its over even if its just a few paragraphs long. This is especially true if the one who dies does so by something they thought was their advantage or edge.

Just my 2 cents.

Judg · Mar 22, 2007

I usually skim over fight scenes. When I try to read them, they're just a lot of flailing about and it's thoroughly tedious. I want to get to the point. Who wins? How? And where does that leave us? To keep me reading through a fight scene, a mere list of the actions taken doesn't cut it. Bits of dialogue, even humour are helpful. Any action that isn't interesting in and of itself should not be included. Every action should tell me something about the character, engage me emotionally, or somehow really add something. I dislike having to read very slowly to imagine each action. It's essentially just description, and I don't like that in large doses either.

This is, of course, merely my opinion and springs from my own personal tastes. Use at your own discretion.

zornhau · Mar 22, 2007

Fight scenes have to reflect character, especially the resolution.

Unequal matches are usually boring: If you're scene is "Bambi Meets Godzilla", or the variation "Bambi Meets Godzilla But Bambi Pulls Out Fusion Rifle At The Last Moment Surprise!" then it will be very hard to sustain, and annoying to read. All you really have is a steel trap which does or does not spring, or a Cheshire cat which may or may not be dead VOILA 'ERE IS ZE ANSUR!

Ask yourself, would the characters really fight? Wouldn't one try to get away, e.g. to better ground where the magic works?

If they must fight, will it be at cross purposes: one trying to get close, the other evading and throwin things?

And finally, will one of them try to talk the other down? X could explain all to Y, who nevertheless disables X, and only then states that they probably concur with X's position, but prefer to discuss the issue from a position of physical security.

Sej · Mar 23, 2007

Hi All,

Thanks for the replies they really helped especially Cathy and Judg. I have now done it. I went with a brains over brawn situation its about 700-800 words long. Jadz my hero tricks the warrior into impaling himself and Judg you were right humour does help.

I hope you all have a great weekend.

Cheers
Steve

Higgins · Mar 23, 2007

smashing stuff

Mr. Jinx said:
With fight scenes I think the shorter the better. Not too short, but fight scenes that go on too long get bogged down in thier own detail and it gets old (this is definately my opinion though).

I'm a big fan of the western (and wierd western) genre. Sometimes after a whole book the two enemeies face off and - Bang - one of them is shot dead. There may be a couple of shots but the battles are short and sweet but no less satisfying.

Here is just an example off the top of my head:
You could emphasise the warrior's brutality (if he is brutal) by having him smash the door in and overturn tables and the mage is initially surprised by his appearance and all the violence. His first spells might be used to restrain the warrior (for some reason) but the warrior is too strong and breaks free. Finally he weaves a spell that hyper-expands the warriors muscles and to the warriors surprise he suffocates under his own over developed bulk.

It might sound a little comical but if the fight symbolizes both of their approaches it should feel satisfying when its over even if its just a few paragraphs long. This is especially true if the one who dies does so by something they thought was their advantage or edge.

Just my 2 cents.

Smashing up a lot of furniture is always good in a fight scene.

Vomaxx · Mar 23, 2007

Sej said:
I almost fell into a self induced comma

Is that as bad as a kamikaze colon or a self-inflicted period?

-----------------

It once took me about five revisions to write a one-paragraph fight scene between two people with swords, a fight that lasted perhaps ten seconds. It was far more trouble than it was worth because the whole point of the fight was simply that one character proved (to himself) that he was not a coward. Unless the fight is between two noted combatants and the reader has been led to expect a Homeric struggle, I'd say keep the action to a minimum and concentrate on the outcome-its effects on the characters and the plot.

engmajor2005 · Mar 23, 2007

Read some of R. A. Salvatore's Drizzt novels, and you will learn how to write some Damn Good Fight Scenes.

I like writing fight scenes. They're fun, and I agree that inserting some dialogue or humor helps (for the writer as well). As for magic versus melee...eh, I'm not sure. Though I do like the old "trick you into impaling yourself trick." That one's fun.

Sej · Mar 23, 2007

Vomaxx said:
Is that as bad as a kamikaze colon or a self-inflicted period? .

It was 7.30am in the morning when I posted. Can I use that as an excuse I am never with it at that hour.
Still not as bad as a mistake I made about twelve years ago when I was at college. I had been out partying all friday night and into the early hours of Saturday morning, you know as you do at that age. I guess I crawled home about 6 maybe 7am. I get this phone call, Phil is sick can i do this interview with a girl about the money she raised for Cystic Fibrosis the copy deadline was 10am. The article that went to press said the girl had raised £8000 pounds for 55 roses!

Fight Scenes

Sej

Cathy C

Ooo! Shiny new cover!

Teraphim

JPSpideyCJ

Mr. Jinx

Judg

DISENCHANTED coming soon

zornhau

Swordsman

Sej

Higgins

Vomaxx

engmajor2005

Sej