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TheGaffer
03-11-2007, 06:13 PM
Let's hear it, y'all. The ones that really made you most angry, annoyed or just weep for Hollywood's craptacularness. Here's a group of mine, as briefly as I could do it (which isn't easy for me). Anyone else? Would love to see the ones you hate the most, or just take a whack at the stuff I've thrown up here:


1. Bamboozled -- Normally I like Spike Lee, but this is such an offensive mess, a disaster of the highest order, that I wanted to break the television afterwards. From the muddy cinematography, to the Damon Wayans-channels-Dr.-Evil-lead-performance, to the ham-fisted message, it's all just awful.

2. Vanilla Sky -- I've never wanted to kick Tom Cruise's ass so much, and that's saying something. What a ghastly train-wreck of a movie this is. A good way to know you've seen a truly terrible piece of crap is when the movie ends, and your first reaction is to stand up and say, "F*CK YOU!"

3. Young Guns -- This may seem like I'm picking on the low-hanging fruit here, but I only include it because for some strange reason, I did enjoy the second Young Guns movie, which had an air of stupidity and playfulness that this dreary turd did not. Emilio Estevez was never more annoying than this, and it's one of the few movies where I've been offended by the violence, and I can usually watch damned near anything.

4. Nurse Betty -- An absolute mess.

5. The Break-Up -- I spent the entire movie waiting for these people to break up for good, just so the movie would be over.

6. Tomb Raider - Again, I know we're going after low-hanging fruit here, but it exemplifies to me just about every way to screw up an action movie these days (for the prototype of a good one, see the Bourne movies). Looks as if it was edited in a food processor, boring, simplistic and uninteresting plot, lame villains, and a lead actress more interested in strutting than actually acting.

7. Swordfish -- See Tomb Raider, but instead of Angelina strutting, it's John Travolta. It's idiotic, kind of misogynistic, and the plot is intentionally indecipherable, and you just know one of those idiotic "twists" is coming at the end that's completely pointless. It's the kind of movie for those who thought "The Rock" was too subtle. (and I like "The Rock," the movie, that is, not the wrestler-turned-actor who is the son of Rocky Johnson). Before you get after me and say it's "just a popcorn movie," I'll say this - a popcorn movie has standards to live up to also. It may be popcorn, but it's stale popcorn that's also unfortunately gotten moist because your grandmother's been sticking her fingers into it after not sufficiently wiping her hands when stuffing it into her mouth.

8. Judge Dredd -- I had to put a Stallone film on here. This is as good as any other, frankly.

9. Wild Wild West -- I think Roger Ebert had the best line about this movie: "When you're making a Western, and your two heroes, at the very end, ride off into the sunset on a giant mechanical spider, something has gone wrong with your movie."


10. Star Wars - Episode I - The Phantom Menace - It's dreck. Absolute dreck. And a major disappointment for a Star Wars geek like myself. Every so often I'll see bits of it again, and wonder, "Just what in the hell was he thinking?"

scarletpeaches
03-11-2007, 06:19 PM
Anything with Keanu Reeves in it, IN PARTICULAR the heinous 'Sweet November'.

I laughed. I swear, I pissed my pants laughing at some of it, even more so when I realised it was supposed to be romantic.

tourdeforce
03-11-2007, 06:22 PM
THE MATRIX was excellent and SPEED was a fine action film.

And BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA was an excellent telling of that tale in spite o Reeves.

So Reeves is not a total wash-out.

tourdeforce
03-11-2007, 06:24 PM
THE BLACK DAHLIA was one of the worst movies that I have ever seen.

Parkinsonsd
03-11-2007, 06:26 PM
King Arthur with Clive Owen.


Here's this brilliant premise, that King Arthur was more of a Roman Legionary (forgive the spelling, haven't had my coffee yet) and he was fighting these evil heathen hordes. This is the possible and probably true identity of Arthur, and so we see Clive Owen going into battle, majestically dressed, followed by his faithful men, against this almost unbeatable hoarde of men, and Clive Owen fights like a friggin' chick! He fights like a girl! You can't have the most legendary King in history fighting like a chick.

You know, pissed me off. I really wanted to like this movie.

thethinker42
03-11-2007, 06:39 PM
feardotcom -- Just BAD on so many levels. Hated it. Wanted to gouge my eyeballs out with a fork.

Star Wars: Phantom Plot -- 'nuff said

Star Wars: Attack of the Clones -- Lucas, I hate you.

Star Wars: Revenge of the Shit -- More like the revenge of a plot so stupid and characters so melodramatic ("Anakin, you're breaking my heart!" "You were supposed to be the Chosen One!" "Noooooooo!") it's almost making the ORIGINAL Star Wars movies suck by association. And that says a lot, because the originals ruled.

Saturday Night Fever -- If I ever needed any more reason to dislike John Revolta, this movie certainly gave it to me. Stupid story, lame dialogue, annoying characters.

Female Perversion -- Each passing scene just made me go...huh?? This is one of those movies that probably makes perfect sense to the writer and/or director...but is utter gibberish to the rest of the world.

Lovers of the Arctic Circle -- Could've been trimmed by an hour and MIGHT have been salvageable.

The Night Listener -- In all fairness, this probably was a good movie, but the previews all made it seem like a horror movie...ie., Robin Williams screaming into the phone, the kind of movie where you're expecting some psycho to jump out of the shadows and slash someone to death. It's more of a brain bender than anything, but a horror movie? Not so much. So, given the expectation raised by the previews I saw, the movie sucked.

The Marine -- Attention Hollywood: Stop turning professional wrestling stars into action heroes. It DOESN'T WORK, no matter how hot John Cena is.

Exorcist: The Beginnings -- Or whichever one it was where they found the church buried somewhere. The gore and violence might have been okay had they not been QUITE so gratuitous and actually advanced the plot once in a while. A young boy being torn apart by hyenas in front of his father and brother? Yeah, that scene could've been reduced by 80% and the audience would have gotten the point. It didn't need to go on NEARLY as long as it did. It passed the point of "oh, what a horrific scene, this ups the suspense and puts me on the edge of my seat" to "Jesus Christ, director!!! Enough already!! Fucking psycho..."

That's about all I can think of right now. I'm SURE there's more. I've enjoyed the vast majority of movies that I've seen, but man, there have been a few SHITTY movies in that mix! LOL

And, for the record, I think I'm the only person left on the planet that will admit that I LIKED "Titanic" and "Blair Witch Project" when they first came out (THEY DIDN'T GROSS ALL THAT MONEY BECAUSE NO ONE LIKED THEM, PEOPLE!!) and will STILL admit that I STILL like them.

And I liked "The Village". So there.

ChaosTitan
03-11-2007, 07:02 PM
THE BLACK DAHLIA was one of the worst movies that I have ever seen.

But the book was excellent! ;)

Worst movies I've ever seen:

EYES WIDE SHUT. I think the only point of this movie was to cram as many naked people into one scene as possible. Just....ew.

THE THIN RED LINE. It would have been an excellent film, if only it was an hour shorter. Do we really need ten minutes of jungle animal footage every half hour? Nature got more screen time than the actors.

THE VILLAGE. I got the "twist" after twenty minutes. The rest of the movie was just boring.

FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS. Eastwood was trying to tell too many stories at once, had too many V.O. narrations, and couldn't concentrate on any one thing. Too jumpy, not enough time spent on the supporting cast. It's sad when you're thinking "Great, the last of the dead guys finally died in flashback, so it's gotta be almost over, right? Right??"

This is all I've got off the top of my head. I'm sure more will come to me after I've had my coffee. :)

Shadow_Ferret
03-11-2007, 07:08 PM
The History of Violence -- How can a movie with that title be so booooring! And gah! Viggo is uuuuugly without his LOTR makeup.

Napoleon Dynamite -- WTF? What a waste of time, money, and celuloid that is. I think I smiled once, the rest of the time I stared in disbelief that anyone could even find it remotely entertaining.

Anything with Will Farrell, Ben Stiller, or Adam Sadler in it.

I'll post more as I recall them. Right now I'm blocking such horror.

King Arthur with Clive Owen.
Clive Owen fights like a friggin' chick! He fights like a girl!
And Maid Marion is portrayed as Xena Warrior Princess.


9. Wild Wild West -- I think Roger Ebert had the best line about this movie: "When you're making a Western, and your two heroes, at the very end, ride off into the sunset on a giant mechanical spider, something has gone wrong with your movie."


Quotes like this make me wonder if the person ever saw an episode of the original Wild, Wild West. It was, for all intents and purposes, steampunk and one of the first popularized attempts at it. Nothing wrong with riding off on a mechanical spider. There were plenty of other things wrong with that movie though.

thethinker42
03-11-2007, 07:12 PM
EYES WIDE SHUT. I think the only point of this movie was to cram as many naked people into one scene as possible. Just....ew.

I hated that movie. The story was just contrived and stupid. I love all things Kubrick, but that one SUCKED. I disagree about the nakedness, though...for all the noise about the "perversion" and the amount of sex in the movie...it didn't seem like that much to me. Not in proportion to all the hype, anyway. Then again, I was still working in porn when that movie came out, so maybe my idea of "a lot of sex and/or naked people" in a movie was a bit skewed. LOL (That, and the biggest objection I heard from people was about the orgy scenes...since I know people who go to a club like the one in the movie -- minus the masks and weird ritual shit -- I guess it didn't phase me)

Also, I just hate Tom Cruise. So...that just made it worse.

thethinker42
03-11-2007, 07:13 PM
The History of Violence -- How can a movie with that title be so booooring! And gah! Viggo is uuuuugly without his LOTR makeup.

Oh God, no kidding!!! That movie was AWFUL.

tourdeforce
03-11-2007, 07:14 PM
NAPOLEON DYNAMITE was unwatchable.

Perks
03-11-2007, 07:23 PM
Dear god, I hated A History of Violence. I'm so glad it wasn't just me.

Others for my list -

American Pie
Sin City
Spider (this one had genius elements, which made its missing the mark all the more painful)
Brokeback Mountain (brave, yes, but that ain't enough to make two mumbling dimbulbs worth watching for two hours)
Superman Returns(way to miss the point, dumbutts)
And the most hilarious (in the wrong way) ending ever has to go to the director's cut of The Butterfly Effect

And to the rest of you no taste, no accounts, Napolean Dynamite was great. So was King Arthur and Vanilla Sky, but I still love you anyway. :)

Ol' Fashioned Girl
03-11-2007, 07:24 PM
I'm probably gonna get 'thwapped' for this, but I loathed 'The English Patient'... book and movie. That's the first one that popped into my sleepy li'l head when I read the thread title, so it must've made a bad impression, eh? ;)

tourdeforce
03-11-2007, 07:25 PM
I hate using the word worst for bad films because it can cuse confusion.

My latest script, The Wurst Movie, is set in the world of international bratwurst making competitions.

A one time champion bratwurst chef and now alcoholic Hormel factory worker, who lost his confidence when his assistant was killed in a freak meat grinder accident, is reunited with his son who challenges him to get back into the kitchen and go for the gold medal at the Sheboygan International Bratwurst Competition.

Perks
03-11-2007, 07:26 PM
I'm sure mustard will feature prominently.

Maryn
03-11-2007, 07:26 PM
We played a game while watching Pearl Harbor and Flyboys on DVD, and the room was filled with winners. Every time we thought we knew a future plot point, we'd announce it to the room. ("Cuba Gooding's going to get to fight in a crucial moment when nobody white is available." "That won't be her kid. She's babysitting or something.") If it happened, we got a point. If it didn't, we lost a point.

There were no negative scores.

Maryn, no fan of predictability at that level

ChaosTitan
03-11-2007, 07:27 PM
And Maid Marion is portrayed as Xena Warrior Princess.

Guinevere?


I disagree about the nakedness, though...for all the noise about the "perversion" and the amount of sex in the movie...it didn't seem like that much to me.

It wasn't really the sex that bothered me, just the pointlessness of it. Graphic sex doesn't bother, and neither does nudity, if it serves a story. EWS had no story. I still can't figure out what that movie was supposed to be about.

I do recall reading that the initial cut of the film received an NC-17 because of excessive nudity. A lot of the women in that mansion scene had to have panties CGI-ed to their bodies to get the rating dropped to an R.

ChaosTitan
03-11-2007, 07:29 PM
We played a game while watching Pearl Harbor


That movie would have been awesome if Ben Affleck had died instead of Josh Hartnet.

But yes, one of the most predictable movies ever.

Perks
03-11-2007, 07:30 PM
Any movie that shows Ben Affleck dying automatically has my support.

Serenity
03-11-2007, 07:31 PM
THE MATRIX was excellent and SPEED was a fine action film.

And BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA was an excellent telling of that tale in spite o Reeves.

So Reeves is not a total wash-out.

Perhaps, but for me the Matrix was good, but not because of Reeves, the story was good, Keanu was secondary. I admit to liking Speed as well, but Dennis Hopper was great as the bad guy.

I gotta disagree with the Dracula one, though. Someone really should tell Winona that she absolutely cannot do an accent... of any kind. At all. That movie's saving grace was also the bad guy in Gary Oldman.

Off to babysit now.

Chumplet
03-11-2007, 07:37 PM
When I saw this thread, the first movie that popped (pooped?) into my head was The Treasure of the Four Crowns. We walked into a theatre thinking we were going to see a different movie. I think we got the titles mixed up. It was one of the last 3D movies from the early 80's. We walked out of the theatre.

Sometimes movies are so bad you gotta watch them over and over again. Something like watching a 30 car pileup. Like Krull.

Perks
03-11-2007, 07:40 PM
Someone really should tell Winona that she absolutely cannot do an accent... of any kind. Agh! I'm allergic to Winona Ryder. When I see her on screen, my nose itches, I get hives and I have to kill someone. She's almost caused me much time in the State Pen, except that I took the three quarters of her brain that she doesn't use and, resultantly, am quite clever. I never get caught.

Jersey Chick
03-11-2007, 07:46 PM
I'll probably get walloped for this but here goes:

The Matrix - I, II, and III - what was the point??? I don't care how cool the effets are, the plot sucked, and it had Keanu. It was nearly 10 hours of my life I'll never get back and that makes me sad.

Scary Movie - been there, done that - Airplane! was sooo much better.

Napoleon Dynamite I smiled once or twice, but spent the rest of the time wishing I was anywhere but there. Everyone raved about it, I didn't see what was so funny.

Any of the "new" Star Wars movies - the original three were the best- why mess with it? Too soapy by half and the plot was another ho-hum, who cares? Where's Harrison Ford, damn it???

Those are my picks - I'll duck now :)

eldragon
03-11-2007, 07:50 PM
I loved Napoleon Dynamite.

We've had this exact same thread on AW several times, and each times Shadow Ferret say he hated Napoleon Dynamite, and I say I loved it and someone will give me a rep point that says "Whatever I feel like, Gosh!"

Ardellis
03-11-2007, 07:56 PM
Highlander 2. I swear, they hired a writing team for the sequel that had never even watched the first film. Aside from the fact that they reused the main characters from the first one, you'd have thought it took place in a completely different universe. And Sean Connery phoned it in. I had never seen him do that before.

Van Helsing. Even Hugh Jackman in leather couldn't save this pile of feces. Dracula was so totally unscary that I was laughing at him. Nothing made any sense. And what the heck was the deal with Kate Beckinsale's wardrobe? She could barely walk in those boots, let alone fight.

DLFerguson
03-11-2007, 08:06 PM
THE BLUE LAGOON
CURSED

And anything with Natalie Portman in it except for THE PROFESSIONAL.

roach
03-11-2007, 08:10 PM
ooooohhhh...let's see:

One Night with the King It's my policy to finish any movie (or any book) no matter how awful it is but this one I could only watch 20 minutes. I don't know how that movie got theatre distribution when it was better suited to Sunday night TV (at best) or better the pit of oblivion.

Resident Evil: Apocolypse I knew it was bad going in, but even my low expectations didn't insulate me from the suckage that was that movie.

There are others but those are just the two most recent examples from this week. I agree with some of the movies that have already been posted (Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, we didn't even see episode III, Napoleon Dynamite just wasn't my kind of movie, although I see why it was so popular)... Oh and Lori I'm right there with you on The Blair Witch Project. I thought it was a great movie and it scared the crap out of me.

TheGaffer
03-11-2007, 08:10 PM
I'm going to agree and disagree on several points made.

Among the other ones mentioned that I disagree about:

--Saturday Night Fever is a brilliant piece of work. I can't think of many movies that capture a moment in time/pop culture better than that one. And Travolta hasn't ever been better. So a hearty disagreement there.

--I'm of the opinion that Eyes Wide Shut is an amazing pic. It took me a long time to come around to this, but it's got so much going on there to be interpreted and re-interpreted. I could start a separate thread on this movie's greatness alone. (I won't so I don't torture people, but...)

--The first Matrix is good. Very good. The second one to me is the best of the three, it's just fantastic. They take the whole conceit of the first movie, which seems to be "Keanu is Jesus," and give it a big, big smackdown, particularly at the very end, where they introduce the Architect, who continues to dismissively refer to Keanu as "the systemic anomaly," which to me is one of the greatest ever movie putdowns (yes, I think about this stuff). However...I almost, almost put the third Matrix on my original list, because it's just AWFUL. Such a terrible disappointing end.

--and I really like History of Violence and Brokeback Mountain.


On the other hand...

--Napoleon Dynamite is way, way overrated. Agreed.

--I woulda thrown in Highlander 2, but that's really picking the low-hanging fruit. It's terrible. "Wait, these cool immortals are aliens? WTF???"

--And nobody's going to get slapped (at least by me) for saying they hated the English Patient. I find I agree with Elaine from Seinfeld on that one: "Just DIE already!!"

Perks
03-11-2007, 08:15 PM
Oh! I forgot - Dude, Where's My Car?. I admit, I have a broken funnybone, so it wasn't a good idea for me to watch this in the first place. But, just like Roach, if I start a movie or book, I generally finish it no matter what.

I only lasted 18 minutes and then lost the will to live.

thethinker42
03-11-2007, 08:21 PM
--Saturday Night Fever is a brilliant piece of work. I can't think of many movies that capture a moment in time/pop culture better than that one. And Travolta hasn't ever been better. So a hearty disagreement there.

If that's the case, I'm even more thankful that I missed the 1970's, and if that's Travolta at his best...well...I agree with you. I just don't like him. At all. I just couldn't swallow Saturday Night Fever.

Different strokes. :)

TheGaffer
03-11-2007, 08:41 PM
John Travolta has done enough terrible films, most in the last 15 years, to warrant any dislike of him -- I can't disagree there. But on this one, we part company. Huzzah. :)

thethinker42
03-11-2007, 08:43 PM
John Travolta has done enough terrible films, most in the last 15 years, to warrant any dislike of him -- I can't disagree there. But on this one, we part company. Huzzah. :)

Fair enough. :)

Cath
03-11-2007, 08:51 PM
I just didn't get Napolean Dynamite - I think I zoned out about ten minutes into it though.

Dances with Wolves and Brokeback Mountain were so boring that I actually fell asleep - so I guess they're the worst in my book.

kristie911
03-11-2007, 09:02 PM
I love Napoleon Dynamite but I enjoy the lame humor. :)

Worst movies...there are so many to choose from. But my top picks are:

Joe Versus The Volcano
What About Bob?
These were two movies I can't believe I paid money to go see in the theatre...I've never gotten over the waste of money. I think it's scarred me for life.

Oh and I can't forget Urban Cowboy...I know so many people that loved this movie but I hated John Travolta's dumbass character and I wanted to bitch-slap Sissy through most of it. I actually found myself rooting for the ex-con because he kept beating her up. Ack...it was horrible!

SC Harrison
03-11-2007, 09:07 PM
Dogma.

We don't have enough time, and I don't want to dwell on this enough to go into what a waste of time this was. Just me taking the time to type this post is pissing me off.

robeiae
03-11-2007, 09:12 PM
Titanic.

Worst. Movie. Ever. Decorum prevents me from saying more.


Other pathetic flicks, in no particular order:

The Ring-watch a videotape and then you die? Gimme a break.
Catwoman-it takes a special kind of skill to make a movie with a scantily clad Halle Berry a completely unwatchable piece of garbage.
Gymkata-:roll:
Best Defense-Dudley Moore+Eddie Murphy=Ugh.
Ishtar-Duh.
About Last Night-The dual headphones move was a riot, though.
Friday the 13th, part whatever-Okay, the first and second were slightly passable, but that's it.
To Be Or Not To Be (the Mel Brooks one)-I actually walked out of the theatre, along with almost everyone else.
Troy-Umm...no.
Show Girls-Umm...double no.

maestrowork
03-11-2007, 09:13 PM
Too many to list... but this year and last:

The Brothers Grimm - truly a piece of crap

The Black Dahlia - a great idea gone bad

The Promise - Chinese martial art movies at their worst

Nacho Limbre - if you think Napoleon Dynamite was bad (or even good), try this mess

The Night Listener - one of the most boring, pretentious movies I've seen

Freedomland - WTF were Samuel L. Jackson and Julianne Moore thinking? It's ugly, nonsensical, just disturbingly bad

Firewall - another one of these stupid thrillers that Harrison Ford seemed to be sleepwalking through these days. What made me really mad was that Virginia Madsen followed her triumphant return in Sideways with this crap because she needed the money.

Julie Worth
03-11-2007, 09:24 PM
Passion of the Christ, which was made even worse by the thousands of enraptured Baptists who'd arrived in buses to pack the theater. Horrible, excessive movie. I walked out.

truelyana
03-11-2007, 09:33 PM
A horror film with Jon Bon Jovi. Don't know what it was called. No one could act in it. It was rather more hillarious than anything.

Bmwhtly
03-11-2007, 09:58 PM
I'm going to agree and disagree with a few here (and not just because I don't go on imdb boards any more :))
Sin CityI Loved sin city for what it was.
If you're going to make a comic book into a film and remain a comic book: this is how it's done.


Any movie that shows Ben Affleck dying automatically has my support.I got nothing against Ben Affleck. Sure he's made lousy films but the fact that he stuck by Kevin Smith (who give him a break) and i respect that. Plus Chasing Amy is one of my favourite romance films.


Van Helsing. Yes. Very much so. There is nothing redeemable about this film.
It's a perfect example of what Hollywood throw out to please the bonehead "mass audience" (aka Popcorn Munchers); no plot, violence, CGI over practical, beautiful people...


Dogma.

We don't have enough time, and I don't want to dwell on this enough to go into what a waste of time this was. Just me taking the time to type this post is pissing me off.I don't think it's a good idea to debate a film based around religion. So forget I said anything.


And anything with Natalie Portman in it except for THE PROFESSIONAL.No. Absolutely not.
Ok, so she did the fake Star Wars, but she's done some good stuff (V for Vendetta springs, unbidden, to mind.)


Resident Evil: Apocolypse I knew it was bad going in, but even my low expectations didn't insulate me from the suckage that was that movie.Yes. I love zombie films. in fact, Love isn't a strong enough word. And the first one was lousy enough, but this *fights back the vomit reflex just thinking about it*


Catwoman-it takes a special kind of skill to make a movie with a scantily clad Halle Berry a completely unwatchable piece of garbage.I knew enough to stay away from this one, but thought I'd point out to those of y'all you don't know:
The stunts weren't doen by Halle Berry. They were done a Filipino MALE.


Firewall - another one of these stupid thrillers that Harrison Ford seemed to be sleepwalking through these days. What made me really mad was that Virginia Madsen followed her triumphant return in Sideways with this crap because she needed the money.I saw the trailer for this...
Harrison Ford dragging his paunch through action sequences? hell no.


Well, that's about the size of it.

thethinker42
03-11-2007, 10:14 PM
The Night Listener - one of the most boring, pretentious movies I've seen

Ray, I take back everything I ever said about you.






Not that I said much...I mean, but...if I did...*runs away*

Deadbeat 007
03-11-2007, 10:15 PM
6. Tomb Raider

10. Star Wars - Episode I - The Phantom Menace

Hear, hear!

TheGaffer
03-11-2007, 10:17 PM
Freedomland - WTF were Samuel L. Jackson and Julianne Moore thinking? It's ugly, nonsensical, just disturbingly bad

Firewall - another one of these stupid thrillers that Harrison Ford seemed to be sleepwalking through these days. What made me really mad was that Virginia Madsen followed her triumphant return in Sideways with this crap because she needed the money.


Good calls on both of these. Freedomland is amazingly bad, and yet it came from solid source material. Julianne Moore was totally unwatchable, and I've never seen her that terrible before.

ChaosTitan
03-11-2007, 10:42 PM
Good calls on both of these. Freedomland is amazingly bad, and yet it came from solid source material. Julianne Moore was totally unwatchable, and I've never seen her that terrible before.


Ditto this. Let's add THE FORGOTTEN and HANNIBAL to the list of recent, bad Julianne Moore movies.

And I can't believe no one has mentioned BATTLEFIELD EARTH. I was tempted to write the studio and demand my two hours and seven bucks back.

Jersey Chick
03-11-2007, 10:49 PM
Oh - I forgot about Nacho Libre - even my 6 year old thought it was awful. And this is a kid who thinks commercials are high art!

Good call.

What about The Exorcist III? I didn't know George C. Scott could make a bad movie until this howler. Maybe it was me, but it made no sense and the scene of the old lady crabwalking across the ceiling still gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Carrie in PA
03-11-2007, 10:52 PM
Robaeiouandsometimesy :D beat me to it. Titanic. Horrid, vile, putrid specimen of cinematic puke.

Castaway. Thirty-seven hours of Tom Hanks floating in the ocean was a bit much.

I also hated Napoleon Dynamite. My friend (who LOVED it) told me that you have to watch it twice and it gets funny. No. It doesn't.



That movie's saving grace was also the bad guy in Gary Oldman.

Mmmmmm... Gary Oldman...

TheGaffer
03-11-2007, 11:04 PM
Ditto this. Let's add THE FORGOTTEN and HANNIBAL to the list of recent, bad Julianne Moore movies.

And I can't believe no one has mentioned BATTLEFIELD EARTH. I was tempted to write the studio and demand my two hours and seven bucks back.


Those are both pretty terrible also, agreed. As for Battlefield Earth, I've never actually watched it start-to-finish, only having seen maybe 10 min here and there. Like many others, I was warded away by the reviews. What I have seen is dreadful.

Perks
03-11-2007, 11:04 PM
What about The Exorcist III? I didn't know George C. Scott could make a bad movie until this howler. Maybe it was me, but it made no sense and the scene of the old lady crabwalking across the ceiling still gives me the heebie-jeebies.
I think as a stand alone, The Exorcist III was a competent horror film. The biggest problem with it was that William Peter Blatty wrote a sequel to his own material that hinged on the cop and the priest having been busom buddies, which simply never happened in either the book or the film. The premise made no sense. Did he think we'd all forget in fifteen years? Or maybe he just did...

Leva
03-11-2007, 11:20 PM
Worst movie I have ever seen? Knight Rider 2000. Fortunately, it was only aired once. Unfortunately, my tape of it died, because I used to trot it out for MST3King with friends.

I agree on HIghlander 2. Awful.

Of movies in recent memory, I'm going to go out on a limb and say 300 was pretty bad. Saw it yesterday -- my expectations were that it would be about as good (or bad) as the Day of the Dead remake, which I thought was decent, by the same director. It was ... lacking, particularly in character development. But it apparently has quite a few fans, many of whom are disagreeing with that assessment on Firefox News right now. LOL.

Bmwhtly
03-11-2007, 11:28 PM
Day of the Dead remake.Wait, is that out over in the colonies?
Damn! I was hoping it would die in production.

ChaosTitan
03-12-2007, 12:07 AM
I knew they remade "Dawn of the Dead," but Day? Sheesh. Talk about hard up for material. The original was awful enough.

Bmwhtly
03-12-2007, 12:09 AM
I knew they remade "Dawn of the Dead," but Day? Sheesh. Talk about hard up for material. The original was awful enough.
How dare you.
The original Day was superb.
I'm not coming back on this board for a week. Hopefully this thread'll be buried by then and I won't have to fight the urge to put a fist through my monitor.

Foinah
03-12-2007, 12:12 AM
I once read a review of a film where the critic said he felt, "two hours closer to death," after having seen a bad film. I don't remember what film it was and I hope I never find out.

The Devil's Rejects : What was I thinking? Sooooooooo very bad.

A History of Violence : absolute drivel!

Very Bad Things : hated that movie.

The Jesus Chainsaw Massacre aka Passion of the Christ : need I say more?

Highlander 2 : I actually did ask for my money back. Yes, there can be only one ;)

AI : even though it had some good parts, I just wished someone would kill me towards the end.

I have to admit that I didn't find Ishtar to be as repulsive as everyone said it was. I took the movie with a grain of salt and enjoyed it. Along those lines was The Jewel of the Nile, a let down from Romancing the Stone, but still okay. Bird on a Wire was horrible!

Exorcist: Dominion and Prequel: don't get me started - both versions of this film were dreadful. Either too much blood and guts or a story line and Evil Meany that was boring. Bah!


I enjoy juvenile humor sometimes...Napoleon Dynamite was hilarious (VOTE FOR PEDRO!!!) and I even enjoyed Road Trip and the classic - SUPER TROOPERS.

Best bad movie ever - BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA!!!!

thethinker42
03-12-2007, 12:29 AM
The Jesus Chainsaw Massacre aka Passion of the Christ : need I say more?

Best spoof title EVER.


AI : even though it had some good parts, I just wished someone would kill me towards the end.

Agreed. It was fine until about the last half hour or so. Kubrick would've stopped it loooooooong before the end, but noooooooo...Spielberg just had to drag it on into oblivion. Oh well, I was on a date, and it gave us a few extra minutes to play "streeeeeeetch and accidentally put my arm around you" games in the dark.


I enjoy juvenile humor sometimes...Napoleon Dynamite was hilarious (VOTE FOR PEDRO!!!) and I even enjoyed Road Trip and the classic - SUPER TROOPERS.

Super Troopers was THE BOMB. I loved that movie. And even though I didn't like Napoleon Dynamite, I do like a lot of the lines from it....especially because it annoys the piss outta some people I work with. GOSH!


Best bad movie ever - BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA!!!!

I hated that movie with every fiber of my being...

tjwriter
03-12-2007, 12:38 AM
Slackers (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0240900/)

Most awful thing ever. I tolerate most bad crap til the end, but I shut this off after 5 minutes.

zenwriter
03-12-2007, 12:46 AM
I have tried to watch The Shipping News a few times now but I only last about 15 minutes. I liked the book, but I’d rather watch soup stock boil than watch that terrible film.

Ol' Fashioned Girl
03-12-2007, 12:50 AM
Titanic.

Worst. Movie. Ever. Decorum prevents me from saying more.


The only good purpose Titanic served was allowing me to see the ship in living color, as close to 'alive' as I could see her. The happy horse apples they used as 'filler' (the Romance, the Necklace, the Picture, etc.) could be scraped out and flushed and I'd buy what's left just to gawk at the Ship. :) Always have had a fascination with the ship.

And I thought of another dog: Scarface.

I'm not a prude by any stretch, but geeeeezus! How many times can you cram the F-bomb into a script? Did he make a bet or something?

Luke flees the scene
03-12-2007, 01:01 AM
Worst movie ever? I really don't know. I can think of alot of dissapointing ones, like the Matrix Revolutions. Awesome movie, dissapointing ending. There's not really any movies I 'hate' persay, but there's alot that I really don't care for. Never Say Never Again's one of them. You know, the James Bond movie. For some reason, every time I watch it I get sick! I'm serious.

rhymegirl
03-12-2007, 01:04 AM
I don't have too many movies on my Worst list.

When I was in the theater watching Repo Man years ago, I walked out. Hated it.

Tried to watch A Prairie Home Companion at home on DVD. Thought it was extremely boring and didn't watch the whole thing.


Jennifer Aniston/Clive Owen flick about two people meeting on a train. Trying to remember the title. Really stupid plot. The guy pays a blackmailer not to tell on him that he cheated on his wife. Keeps paying him and paying him when he should have just gone to the cops. If I think a character is being stupid, I can't feel bad for him.

Good Night, and Good Luck This flick was nominated for an Oscar? I watched about twenty minutes of it and walked out of the room. Snooze.

Chumplet
03-12-2007, 01:16 AM
John Travolta has done enough terrible films, most in the last 15 years, to warrant any dislike of him -- I can't disagree there. But on this one, we part company. Huzzah. :)

I really, really liked him in Pulp Fiction. In fact, I loved Pulp Fiction. But this isn't a "Favourite Movie" Thread.

ChaosTitan
03-12-2007, 01:22 AM
How dare you.
The original Day was superb.
I'm not coming back on this board for a week. Hopefully this thread'll be buried by then and I won't have to fight the urge to put a fist through my monitor.

:rolleyes:

scarletpeaches
03-12-2007, 01:22 AM
I loved The Passion of the Christ...it's one of the few movies I bought on DVD as soon as it was released. And I can't watch The English Patient enough times; I don't cry at real life but films...watch out.

ChaosTitan
03-12-2007, 01:26 AM
The Devil's Rejects : What was I thinking? Sooooooooo very bad.


That was a hard movie to watch, but HOUSE OF A 1000 CORPSES was infinitely worse.


Jennifer Aniston/Clive Owen flick about two people meeting on a train. Trying to remember the title. Really stupid plot. The guy pays a blackmailer not to tell on him that he cheated on his wife. Keeps paying him and paying him when he should have just gone to the cops. If I think a character is being stupid, I can't feel bad for him.


DERAILED. I'm on the fence about this one. I figured out the twist pretty easily, but it's almost worth it just for Clive Owen. I mean, the man is hot. ;)

Shadow_Ferret
03-12-2007, 01:33 AM
The Matrix - I, II, and III - what was the point??? I don't care how cool the effets are, the plot sucked, and it had Keanu. It was nearly 10 hours of my life I'll never get back and that makes me sad.


UM. OK. You thought the FIRST one sucked and then you deliberately went and watched the sequels? Is self-flaggelation part of your repetoire, too? ;)

Foinah
03-12-2007, 01:39 AM
Regarding Titanic...I dated a man who liked just like Leo. Lovely to look at but a real ba*$ard. I watch the end of the film just to watch him freeze to death and sink into oblivion....Yes, I am evil.

Leva
03-12-2007, 01:45 AM
Wait, is that out over in the colonies?
Damn! I was hoping it would die in production.

No, I meant to say Dawn of the Dead. Sorry guys, I really shouldn't post before I have my morning dose of caffeine.

I actually liked the remake of Dawn of the Dead, which was fun cheese -- I thought it was as good as, or better, than the original.

Jersey Chick
03-12-2007, 01:49 AM
UM. OK. You thought the FIRST one sucked and then you deliberately went and watched the sequels? Is self-flaggelation part of your repetoire, too? ;)

No - I didn't deliberately go out and watch them. I saw the first one because I heard it was so good and I failed to see what all the fuss was about. I had to sit through the second one because I made my husband sit through something he didn't really want to watch. Fair's fair. I flat out refused to see the third one, but if you have TNT/TBS, they are on what seems like every other week (sandwiched in between Law and Order.) My husband loved all three and tends to find any one of them when they're on TV and I don't always feel like going into another room. Guess I saw the third one by osmosis. ;)

Tiger
03-12-2007, 02:01 AM
See if you can guess my theme here:

"Showdown in Little Tokyo." Great... Just great flick with Dolf Lundgren running through L.A. wearing an outfit that he cobbled together from bedsheets. He did battle with an all-Asian cast with not a Japanese name in it (wonder why?). I think this was Tia Carrere's debut film (or close to it).

"Year of the Dragon." Aside from having John Lone in it, it was more or less a typical "me love you long time" depiction of Asian womanhood. Well, at least Micky Rourke's sex interest was supposed to be a professional (slut).

"Noble House." Thankfully, in the theaters for all of one week. Should have been called, "Whore House."

"Rising Sun." One thing to say here: "Itch because I'm your shempai." Grk.

"Memoirs of a Geisha." Something about a Hollywood movie with a Japanese setting all ways makes me cringe. Especially when it's touted to be the lead Chinese actresses breakout English-speaking role.

"The Pillow Book." Oh terrif. This time we have Vivian Wu playing the Japanese slut. Our Australian director did a great job of assembling an all star cast to make fools of themselves to rave reviews. Two thumbs up! said Siskel and Ebert. Vomitorio

Have I forgotten anyone?

thethinker42
03-12-2007, 02:04 AM
"The Pillow Book." Oh terrif. This time we have Vivian Wu playing the Japanese slut. Our Australian director did a great job of assembling an all star cast to make fools of themselves to rave reviews. Two thumbs up! said Siskel and Ebert. Vomitorio

I actually liked that one. (and no, it wasn't just because we get to stare at Ewan McGregor's penis and ass) I'm going to buy the DVD eventually, just havent' done it. It's been several years since I've seen it, and I was just thinking the other day that I'd like to watch it again.

thethinker42
03-12-2007, 02:07 AM
Regarding Titanic...I dated a man who liked just like Leo. Lovely to look at but a real ba*$ard. I watch the end of the film just to watch him freeze to death and sink into oblivion....Yes, I am evil.

I think that's why I liked Titanic as much as I did: seeing Leonardo DiCraprio as a popsicle. I knew going into the theatre that Jack was going to die -- which kinda pissed me off, because I don't like knowing ANYTHING about a movie going into it, least of all something like that -- but it was an added bonus.

Especially the second time I saw it...someone in the back yelled out "JACK FROST!"

(yes, I saw it three times in the theatre, but it WASN'T MY FAULT. The first time was voluntary. The second time was with a group, and whatever we were supposed to be was sold out. The third time, my date had already bought the tickets. Oh well, fair's fair...he cried, I didn't, and he was too embarassed to call me again, which was fine, 'cause he was a loser...)

Pagey's_Girl
03-12-2007, 02:22 AM
Contact. It started out so promisingly, then fell apart two-thirds of the way in. It felt like they didn't know how to end it, so they just made up a bunch of stuff and stuck it on hoping nobody would notice.

Leaving Las Vegas - even Nicholas Cage couldn't save this one. Yikes.

Mitchell - Even MST3K couldn't save that one. Eww.

Tiger
03-12-2007, 02:23 AM
Well, even Ewan McGregor's peepee didn't do it for me...

Reminded me of cinematic backdrops with the Asianesque writing on signs, etc.--meant to look like Chinese characters, but which have absolutely no meaning to anyone literate in those languages.

I've never heard of the fetishes depicted in that movie in Japan--or anywhere else for that matter.

Tiger
03-12-2007, 02:25 AM
To the list of non-Asian-themed stinkers, I'll have to add "Sphere."

Gevalt, what a disaster.

TheGaffer
03-12-2007, 02:52 AM
Good Night & Good Luck is quite a good pic. I hear Derailed was indeed terrible.

You, Me & Dupree was ridiculously stupid, but I can't imagine many of you had high hopes for that one.

And Christopher Guest misfired badly on For Your Consideration. UGH.

Just Me
03-12-2007, 03:13 AM
Battlefield Earth. It's as if they went out of their way to do everything they possibly could to make this movie suck. And just when you thought it couldn't get worse, they always ascended to bold new heights of suckitude. I can't say I hated it, though. For all its indescribable badness, it was very [unintentionally] funny. (I'd try to describe some of what went on, but it must be seen to be believed.)

I'd also like to give a [dis]honorable mention to Showgirls. It was almost as bad as Battlefield Earth (and, for the most part, as funny), but only with naked women and a completely gratuitous rape scene.

Oh, wait, the rape scene DID serve a purpose. Afterward, Elizabeth Berkley avenged her friend's assault by taking off her blouse and beating up the rapist. I wish I was joking. :Wha:

~JM.

robeiae
03-12-2007, 03:54 AM
Leaving Las Vegas - even Nicholas Cage couldn't save this one. Yikes.
Wait a minute. Nicolas Cage can save a movie?? Like Face Off? Or 8 mm? Or Snake Eyes?

Now Con Air, that's a helluva flick. Though it's certainly not because of Cage, who was adequate.

Cath
03-12-2007, 03:55 AM
Oh yes, mention of Nicholas Cage reminds me - I hated Adaptation.

Shwebb
03-12-2007, 04:12 AM
One of the worst movies I've ever seen was "Flatliners." It had sooo many up-and-coming actors at the time. But it was pitiful, and pitifully done.

Tiger
03-12-2007, 05:02 AM
Anyone mention "Waterboy" or "Cabin Boy?"

Foinah
03-12-2007, 05:15 AM
Oh yes, mention of Nicholas Cage reminds me - I hated Adaptation.

Oh yes!!! That was a horrid one!

scarletpeaches
03-12-2007, 05:20 AM
8mm was an excellent film. Joaquin Phoenix wore leather trousers.

I rest my case.

thethinker42
03-12-2007, 05:52 AM
8mm was an excellent film. Joaquin Phoenix wore leather trousers.

I rest my case.

Joaquin in leather pants could have redeemed "Saturday Night Fever".

In fact, I dare say, he could have singlehandedly saved "Star Wars: The Phantom Plot" had he done a walk-on in leather pants. And no shirt.

robeiae
03-12-2007, 06:00 AM
How many lips does Joaquin have, anyway? I am terribly vexed...

thethinker42
03-12-2007, 06:15 AM
How many lips does Joaquin have, anyway? I am terribly vexed...

It doesn't matter. He performs wonders with them.

Not that Nichola would know...poor, deprived girl...

billythrilly7th
03-12-2007, 06:15 AM
Blair Witch Project.

scarletpeaches
03-12-2007, 06:17 AM
Joaquin in leather pants could have redeemed "Saturday Night Fever".

In fact, I dare say, he could have singlehandedly saved "Star Wars: The Phantom Plot" had he done a walk-on in leather pants. And no shirt.

If he'd walked onto the set of Battlefield Earth buck nekkit, it would've won an Oscar for Best Performance by an Actor in a Naked Role.

Akuma
03-12-2007, 06:37 AM
Pretty much anything with Will Farrel.

Perks
03-12-2007, 06:59 AM
Anyone mention "Waterboy" or "Cabin Boy?"
The Waterboy was execrable.

Snooks04
03-12-2007, 07:15 AM
Xanadu. Need I say more?

maestrowork
03-12-2007, 07:27 AM
Anything with Adam Sandler is bad, unless you're a 12yo boy -- except Punch Drunk Love, which I actually liked.

maddythemad
03-12-2007, 08:28 AM
Pretty much anything with Will Farrel.

Oh God, I agree.

... Except for Wedding Crashers. I love that movie. But you have to close your eyes every time Will Farrel walks on.

brianm
03-12-2007, 08:53 AM
The Piano – I found this film excruciatingly boring and half way through I nodded off to sleep. My head landed on the woman's shoulder next to me. She screamed and threw her popcorn in the air. I screamed and dumped my coca cola on my lap. When we had all calmed down, I looked up at the screen and Harvey Keitel was naked, his winky flapping in the breeze. By the end of the film, I wanted to tie a rope on Holly Hunter and dump her overboard with the piano. To this day, whenever I hear a woman scream a vision of HK’s winky pops into my head.

Cast Away – Half way through this wretched film, I was praying a shark would eat Tom Hanks or that he would drown.

Water World – Had this been Kevin Costner’s first film, he would have sunk into oblivion.

Jaws III, in 3D – It was my turn to choose a film to go see and I chose this sucker. I am no longer allowed to choose films. Rightfully so.

The Blair Witch Project – The shaky camera gave me a headache.

Hannibal – Not worth the dvd rental.

Anaconda – The shark in “Jaws” was more realistic.

Cleopatra – This film is about an hour too long. I am a huge fan of Elizabeth Taylor, but she stunk in this film. The script didn’t help. Not even the spectacular entrance to Rome scene could save this film. I watch it on dvd when I can’t fall asleep.

Sordid Lives – For a long time I was told, I had to see this film and that I would absolutely love it. I turned it off after 30 minutes. My friends are still trying to explain it to me.

billythrilly7th
03-12-2007, 09:26 AM
Anything with Adam Sandler is bad, unless you're a 12yo boy -- except Punch Drunk Love, which I actually liked.

I like almost all Adam Sandler movies except Punch Drunk Love, which I despised.

Billy = 12 year old boy.
Ray = Old guy who likes boring movies.

:D

billythrilly7th
03-12-2007, 09:31 AM
Wow, I almost forgot....

"Worst Movies You've Ever Seen??"...

99.9999% of the movies I've seen that were made before 1970.

Mandy-Jane
03-12-2007, 10:05 AM
The Lakehouse - how boring. I couldn't wait for it to end.

The Holiday - unconvincing acting and highly predictable storyline.

As for Titanic, yes I agree, the soppy romance was bad. Very bad. A lot of the movie was bad. But I love the ship, so I couldn't put that into a list of worst movies. Then again, I love all ships.

maestrowork
03-12-2007, 10:09 AM
Billy = 12 year old boy.
Ray = Old guy who likes boring movies.


It will never work between us, then. Stop calling already.

hermit authoress
03-12-2007, 12:44 PM
I can recall the titles of movies I hate faster than the ones I enjoyed. Shows just how much of a tramatic experience it was, I suppose...

Castaway... Reminded me of Lord of the Flies and I hated that one too.
Titanic...Looks like I'm not the only one who could have spewed.
The Godfather...I know, I know...rave reviews, classic, yadda yadda yadda. I checked it out, I saw, I threw a tantrum while I was SO glad I didn't pay to see it.
Le' Divorce...The back of the box said, "witty, funny, romantic"...I watched an hour of it and I couldn't take any more. (I'd just gotten done ranting about The Godfather so that didn't help. I was in critic mode.)
Forces of Nature...I couldn't finish watching this one either. bleck.
Ghost Rider...Cheeze is the best word for this one.

And anything with Johnny Depp. I loved 21 Jumpstreet but when he hit the theaters, only thing I ever saw him do was just crap.

Hermit

Stew21
03-12-2007, 02:46 PM
Most recently, Friends With Money - hated it. From the moment she used another woman's vibrator until she was sitting in bed with the man talking about having issues. horrilbe, pointless, shoot me now. My SIL and I watched it and afterwards looked at each other and said, WTF was that? nothing happened.

Carrie in PA
03-12-2007, 03:33 PM
Oh God, I agree.

... Except for Wedding Crashers. I love that movie. But you have to close your eyes every time Will Farrel walks on.


Will Ferrell wasn't in Wedding Crashers. That was Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson.

And Stew's right. Friends With Money sucked.

TheGaffer
03-12-2007, 03:59 PM
Will Ferrell wasn't in Wedding Crashers. That was Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson.

And Stew's right. Friends With Money sucked.

Will Ferrell has a small role at the end of wedding crashers.

TheGaffer
03-12-2007, 04:00 PM
The Godfather...I know, I know...rave reviews, classic, yadda yadda yadda. I checked it out, I saw, I threw a tantrum while I was SO glad I didn't pay to see it.


You're kidding, right? The Godfather?? In most cases since starting this topic I've been pretty cool on doing the "to each his own" reaction, but this is really baffling.


:eek: :Jaw:

Rosie_81
03-12-2007, 10:51 PM
The Bodyguard
Titanic
LOTR
Unbreakable
Spice World
Robin Hood:Prince of Thieves

I'm sure there's more but I can't think of them at the moment.

Shadow_Ferret
03-12-2007, 10:58 PM
Anaconda – The shark in “Jaws” was more realistic.


Wait, you make it sound like the shark in Jaws was pathetic and the standard by which all other pathetic special effects are to be judged. I beg to differ. Considering the time period, that shark was extremely realistic and scared the crap out of me and many a movie-goer at the time. That shark is the reason I don't go in the water much, even today.

The snake in Anaconda was just silly.

maestrowork
03-12-2007, 11:37 PM
Will Ferrell wasn't in Wedding Crashers. That was Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson.

Yes he was. He had a small role in it.


WORST MOVIE EVER: Ghost from Mars: John Carpenter went off the deep end...

Shadow_Ferret
03-12-2007, 11:39 PM
Yes he was. He had a small role in it.

He was their "mentor."

Worst movies ever:
Santa Claus Vs. The Martians
The Conquerer starring John Wayne as a Mongol

ChunkyC
03-13-2007, 12:03 AM
Movies that wasted hours of my life:

Aeon Flux (or as I like to call it: Aeon Sux)

Battlefield Earth

Starship Troopers

Alien vs Predator

Dumb and Dumberer

The Fast and the Furious / 2 fast 2 Furious / F&F Tokyo Drift

Charlie's Angels / CA Full Throttle

Corky Romano (shoulda been Dorky Romano)

Ghost Ship

Spy Kids 3D

Sahara

Each one of those films was a waste of celluloid.

brianm
03-13-2007, 12:23 AM
Wait, you make it sound like the shark in Jaws was pathetic and the standard by which all other pathetic special effects are to be judged. I beg to differ. Considering the time period, that shark was extremely realistic and scared the crap out of me and many a movie-goer at the time. That shark is the reason I don't go in the water much, even today.

The snake in Anaconda was just silly.

Jaws is a favorite of mine. The book and the movie. By today's standards, the shark is not realistic. Yet, it is still more realistic than that silly snake in "Anaconda".

I read the book on a beach when I was 17. Big mistake. I can't go in the ocean anymore. I watch the movie at least once a month. So, no I wasn't saying it was bad for its time period.

Southern_girl29
03-13-2007, 12:37 AM
Here's mine:

Fight Club: I hated every second of this movie. It was a waste of my time.

Anaconda: I have to second whoever said this in the first place.

City of Angels: I should have known what was going to happen at the end, and a part of me did know it. I don't have to have a happy ending, but the ending was just too sad.

The Matrix: I didn't like the first one so I haven't seen the sequels.

Little Nicky: It has Adam Sandler in it. Normally, if I'm in the mood to laugh, I can watch an Adam Sandler movie, but this one was terrible.

Good Burger: This one was made for kids, but I think it's an insult to their intelligence. My friend rented it because she thought it was something else.

Bridges of Madison County: My friend and I rented it and made our husbands sit through it because we had to sit through something for them. Anyway, I think I was as bored as they were.

maestrowork
03-13-2007, 12:41 AM
Jaws... I read the book on a beach when I was 17. Big mistake. I can't go in the ocean anymore. I watch the movie at least once a month. So, no I wasn't saying it was bad for its time period.

I saw the movie for the first time when I was eight. It scarred me. I couldn't go to the ocean for a couple of years, and I had nightmares. It wasn't until I was in college that I could watch the movie again, and I had a renewed respect for the film.

TheGaffer
03-13-2007, 12:42 AM
Bridges of Madison County is a nice call. What a colossal bore.

maestrowork
03-13-2007, 12:46 AM
the Notebook. I don't mind a good romance/chick flick, but GOD... please, spare me * GAG *! Though Rachel McAdams and James Garner saved it for me.

Jersey Chick
03-13-2007, 12:53 AM
I read Jaws when I was about 10 - I didn't even want to go into the deep end of a pool!! Even now, many years later, if I'm in the ocean and I step on anything I'm running on top of the water until I hit sand.

I second City of Angels. Horrible. But the end made it up for it.

almost. :)

ChunkyC
03-13-2007, 01:16 AM
JAWS is why I take showers. ;)

benbradley
03-13-2007, 01:23 AM
I don't see many movies (I often feel left out of "cultural" conversations, but this thread is cathartic), but I recall a swords-and-martial-arts movie circa 1980, that was horrible, I think the title was "Enter The Dragon."

Tiger
03-13-2007, 01:28 AM
Bridges of Madison County is a nice call. What a colossal bore.

Probably one of the few movies that took longer to watch than the novel it came from did to read...

Perks
03-13-2007, 01:55 AM
Movies that wasted hours of my life:

Ghost Ship


Oh Charlie, how you disappoint me. The opening sequence to Ghost Ship is worth twice the price of admission and is among the greatest horror film moments of all time. For shame it made your list.

(Truthfully, the remainder of the film is terribly pedestrian, but nothing that starts out that fantastically can be included in a 'worst movies' list.)

Perks
03-13-2007, 01:57 AM
Here's mine:

Fight Club: I hated every second of this movie. It was a waste of my time.


Wow! That's not one you hear every day. I think Fight Club is one of the greatest films ever made.

But then again, I think I'm the only person in the world who doesn't think Airplane is funny. It's funny when people tell me about it, just not when I've tried to watch it. I'm broken.

ChunkyC
03-13-2007, 02:12 AM
Oh Charlie, how you disappoint me. The opening sequence to Ghost Ship is worth twice the price of admission and is among the greatest horror film moments of all time. For shame it made your list.
A decent opening sequence does not a good movie make. If there's no payoff, the opening is wasted. Before it was much past half an hour in, I was shaking my head and checking my watch to see how much longer I had to sit there. The only reason I didn't walk out was because I was reviewing it.

As with so many things, what's good for the goose is not necessarily good for the gander. I'm not a fan of pure horror films to begin with, and there are few that I've enjoyed less than Ghost Ship. Give me a movie like The Shining, An American Werewolf in London or The Exorcist any day.

Carrie in PA
03-13-2007, 02:16 AM
Yes he was. He had a small role in it.

Oh yeah... shows how much I paid attention. :tongue

Jersey Chick
03-13-2007, 02:39 AM
Is Ghost Ship the one with Julianna Marguilies? If so, that opening gave me the collywobbles. Ick.

Perks - you're not broken. What about The Naked Gun? Have you seen that?

As for horror movies, I never understood Night of the Living Dead. I know it's a classic and all, and maybe it's because I was raised on Jason and Freddy, but why is it scary? Is it because of the symbolism? Or is it supposed to really scare you because of the zombies? I sat there the whole time thinking, 'when does it get scary?'

Maybe my scare-o-meter's broken. ;)

Perks
03-13-2007, 02:39 AM
Give me a movie like The Shining, An American Werewolf in London or The Exorcist any day.Oh without a doubt. I was teasin' ya, Charlie. But I will forever be skeptical of your taste in movies after your endorsement of Superman Returns. I can forgive you, but I can never forget...

(If this wasn't all subjective, you'd be out of a job. Even I know that. ;))

ChunkyC
03-13-2007, 02:44 AM
Oh without a doubt. I was teasin' ya, Charlie. But I will forever be skeptical of your taste in movies after your endorsement of Superman Returns. I can forgive you, but I can never forget...
I'll lip-wrestle you over it anytime.... :e2brows:

Actually, I'll go on the record as saying the first two Superman movies with Christopher Reeve were the best, by far. But you have to admit, Superman Returns is better than that piece of garbage with Richard Pryor (III) or the Neutron Nuclear Man klunker (IV)

ChaosTitan
03-13-2007, 02:49 AM
I can't believe I forgot to add DESPERATE MEASURES. I made fun of this movie for months afterward.

ChunkyC
03-13-2007, 02:56 AM
Speaking of movies with good opening sequences that subsequently went downhill like Chevy Chase in a greased wok....

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

Akuma
03-13-2007, 04:23 AM
Oh, forgot to add Cabin Fever.

As ridiculously horrible as it is, my friends and I watch it every Halloween and have a good laugh.

Nothing beats a karate kid randomly screaming "PAAANCAAAAAKKKKEESSSS!!!".


Man, that part's odd.

Mandy-Jane
03-13-2007, 06:15 AM
Bridges of Madison County is a nice call. What a colossal bore.

You are joking! Bridges of Madison County was one of the best movies ever! I cry every time I see it (because I love it; not because it's boring).

maestrowork
03-13-2007, 06:52 AM
I just saw Lake Placid on AMC the other day... what a sucker. It's so bad except for Betty White swearing like a sailor. That was a hoot.

Shadow_Ferret
03-13-2007, 07:23 AM
I don't see many movies (I often feel left out of "cultural" conversations, but this thread is cathartic), but I recall a swords-and-martial-arts movie circa 1980, that was horrible, I think the title was "Enter The Dragon."
Are you talking Bruce Lee's classic of the genre, "Enter the Dragon?" That came out in '73.



As for horror movies, I never understood Night of the Living Dead. I know it's a classic and all, and maybe it's because I was raised on Jason and Freddy, but why is it scary? Is it because of the symbolism? Or is it supposed to really scare you because of the zombies? I sat there the whole time thinking, 'when does it get scary?';)
That movie is the reason I haven't watched any more zombie movies and why I'm afraid of the dark. I saw that movie when I was 11. I had to walk home in the dark. It was a piss-your-pants scary movie at the time. People eating flesh. Ripping out intestines. I'm so glad that movie was in B&W. But it's all about context. I don't understand why Lon Chaney's silent movie "Phantom of the Opera" made people pass out when he took off his mask. The Universal monsters were all considered flat-out scary in their day. I still haven't been able to re-watch "Night of the Living Dead" because it scared me so much the first time.

I can understand why you might not find it scary, but to list "Night" as a worst movie, that's just wrong.

ChaosTitan
03-13-2007, 07:50 AM
I just saw Lake Placid on AMC the other day... what a sucker. It's so bad except for Betty White swearing like a sailor. That was a hoot.

"I'm rooting for the crocodile, I hope it eats your friends whole."

Great role for her. It's a pretty campy movie, but has some signature David E. Kelley dialogue.


Oh, forgot to add Cabin Fever.


I can't believe I forgot this one! No, yes I can. :tongue

As a recovering Boy Meets World addict, it was great therapy to see Rider Strong mucking it up and getting shot by a high sheriff's deputy.

benbradley
03-13-2007, 09:23 AM
Are you talking Bruce Lee's classic of the genre, "Enter the Dragon?" That came out in '73.

I don't think so, I saw this around 1980, no Bruce Lee or big-name stars that I can remember (though don't trust me to recognize a star's name!) and I presume it was a new release at the time. Everyone who saw it said it was the worst of the genre. It might not have been titled "Enter The Dragon" but I do recall a three-word title something like that. Perhaps the title was a crude take-off meant to be reminiscent of the classic. I recall a scene where two guys are swordfighting and whenever their swords touched sparks flew. I wondered if they attached a welding machine to the swords to make that effect.

About ten years ago I saw a "special screening" at a friend's house of "Plan 9 from Outer Space," but is that one too bad to count as an actual movie?

aruna
03-13-2007, 09:54 AM
Lost in Translation

BiggerBoat
03-13-2007, 10:52 AM
Anaconda – The shark in “Jaws” was more realistic.


Them is fighting words, because I sense some disparagement of good old Bruce. The shark in Jaws looks better than 3/4 of the CGI crap in movies today.

And If I can play along, in terms of mainstream commercial movies, I've gotta say "Pay it Forward." Awful. Awful. Did I mention awful? So this kid starts a pay it forward "craze" that actually only goes through about 3 people (all of them he knows), and then he dies for the perquisite sappy ending that still leaves our heart so full of hope because his spirit lives on. Blech.

Oops. Spoilers. Sorry. Maybe it'll stop someone from wasting time on it. In that case, feel free to pay it forward to someone else.

J. Weiland
03-13-2007, 12:34 PM
About ten years ago I saw a "special screening" at a friend's house of "Plan 9 from Outer Space," but is that one too bad to count as an actual movie?

Yes. So far I have only been able to watch the first 35 minutes. Although it has it's comedic moments,

Paula Trent (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0571958/): I've never seen you in this mood before.
Jeff Trent (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0906966/): I guess that's because I've never been in this mood before.

,it is so far utter crap. I'll have to get drunk one day and watch the rest.

Shadow_Ferret
03-13-2007, 05:23 PM
About ten years ago I saw a "special screening" at a friend's house of "Plan 9 from Outer Space," but is that one too bad to count as an actual movie?
I think certain movies, those by Ed Wood for instance, should have their own special category of bad. They aren't Worse Movies because they never had the studio backing, the big name stars, the financial wherewithal to ever be anything but what they were, Grade B Campy movies that are so bad they're funny.

I happen to love Grade B Campy movies and have a nice collection of DVDs. It's amazing how many Bela Lugosi starred in.

Vincent
03-13-2007, 05:39 PM
I saw it when I was about 13 or 14, on late night TV. The next day at school I was telling my friends about 'the worst movie in the world'. I even used it as the basis for a satiric screenplay.

It was only years later that I learnt it was already famous for just that.

RJLeahy
03-13-2007, 05:48 PM
I tend to enjoy historical epics, but Alexander had to be one of the worst movies ever. Even eclipsing Troy.

ChunkyC
03-13-2007, 07:33 PM
Oo -- oo -- !!!

Street Fighter, starring 'the muscles from Brussels', Jean-Claude Van Damme. Horrible, just horrible, even by Van Damme standards.

swvaughn
03-13-2007, 08:27 PM
UM. OK. You thought the FIRST one sucked and then you deliberately went and watched the sequels? Is self-flaggelation part of your repetoire, too? ;)

I'm all for self-flagellation. That's why I really like bad movies. But they have to be good bad movies. Like...

Joe Vs. the Volcano (there are three kinds of people in the world: those who love this movie, those who hate it, and those who haven't seen it...)

Streetfighter (yes, that one. C'mon, Raul Julia deserves props. It was his last film!)

Mortal Kombat (woot, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa)

Student Bodies (the fuck you scene... classic!)

I guess there should be some movies that I hated here, since that's what this thread is about. Sign me up for the camp of "new" Star Wars haters (no Han, no good. Sorry.)

Also hated:

The very idea of the Dukes of Hazzard remake (didn't go see it)
The Bourne... anything
What's Eating Gilbert Grape (not because it was bad; on the contrary, it was excellent... and I can never watch it again because I'll cry for the rest of my life)

I'm sure there are more. So many movies, so little time. :D

Jersey Chick
03-13-2007, 09:08 PM
I thought of another one - Midnight Madness. When I was about 14, my friends and I would watch it every day, laughing like lunatics over it. I found it a few years ago and in a fit of nostalgia, bought it. Sat down to watch it with my other half (who also remembered it), ready to laugh again.

It is probably the dumbest movie ever made. It's so bad, it's bad.

Guess you really can't go home again.

wyntermoon
03-13-2007, 09:08 PM
Swap Thing (1982) with Adrienne Barbeau.

It was wrong.
Just so wrong.

MidnightMuse
03-13-2007, 09:13 PM
So many bad movies, so little time. There's one that I wanted to walk out of but didn't (should have) it was the first time they tried to make DUNE into a movie, with that guy - wazzisname, McLaughlin or somesuch (?) They took a book I really loved for its complexity and made it just gross.

Sci Fi channel did okay with their version a few years back. But this theatrical release one was blech.

Gravity
03-13-2007, 11:41 PM
The Incredible Melting Man--early make-up effort of a young Rick Baker saves it. Just barely.

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed-up Zombies--yes, that's it's real title, and yes, the title says it all. And then some. No scares at all, unless you include the hairy wart on the lead villianness' face (the actress bears an uncanny resemblance to Elizabeth Taylor in full drunken stupor in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf). The epic was written by, produced by, and starred a rat-faced young lad named Ray Dennis Steckler, who called himself Cash Flagg in this stinker.

maestrowork
03-13-2007, 11:54 PM
This thread just reminds me, as a writer, I can't please everyone. For everyone who loved JAWS, there's someone who hate it.

Very interesting!

MidnightMuse
03-13-2007, 11:56 PM
Or, as I like to say: For every Poodle, there's a Bull Terrier.

Every Afghan has a Chihuahua.

aka eraser
03-14-2007, 12:01 AM
Chasing Amy was crap. Everyone associated with making it should contract an itchy fungus in a place they can't reach to scratch.

Shadow_Ferret
03-14-2007, 12:01 AM
The Incredible Melting Man--early make-up effort of a young Rick Baker saves it. Just barely.


Not even. The problem with that movie was they originally had a decent FX budget, but it got eaten up by other things (pedicures for the director?) and what would have been some wonderful skin appliances turned into kero syrup with food coloring. (I remember all the hype over this movie in Fangoria when they were still in production.)

maestrowork
03-14-2007, 12:26 AM
Lawmower Man -- Didn't understand it, didn't like it, didn't care at all.

brianm
03-14-2007, 12:38 AM
I just saw Lake Placid on AMC the other day... what a sucker. It's so bad except for Betty White swearing like a sailor. That was a hoot.

I agree. She's the only good thing in the movie. I bet she had fun doing it, too.

Vincent
03-14-2007, 01:14 AM
That stupid, stupid, stupid, '95 movie Hackers.

thethinker42
03-14-2007, 01:25 AM
Oh, forgot to add Cabin Fever.

That's the one about the flesh-eating disease, right?

Oh God, I watched that with my husband. It was like a train wreck: I just COULDN'T stop watching. My husband laughed his ass off because at the end of EVERY scene (after about the 1 hour mark), I would scream "WTF???? THE MOVIE JUST ENDED???? WHY IS IT CONTINUING????" I think that movie had 19 consecutive endings, each interrupted by another random retarded happening that caused it to end again, before being interrupted...AGHHHHH!!!! (He makes me watch bad movies sometimes just because he thinks it's hilarious when I start screaming at them...I finally convinced him we should stop doing that in theatres.)

ChunkyC
03-14-2007, 02:34 AM
When someone mentioned Plan Nine from Outer Space upthread, it reminded me of a TV show that used to be on every Saturday afternoon in the 1960s. It originated in Watertown, NY, and was called Monster Movie Matinee.

My brothers and I would plant ourselves in front of the ol' b&w RCA and watch movies like Creature From the Black Lagoon (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0046876/) and The Brain That Wouldn't Die (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052646/). I loved those cheezy old movies. As bad as they were, they evoke such nostalgia now.

alleycat
03-14-2007, 02:45 AM
When someone mentioned Plan Nine from Outer Space upthread, it reminded me of a TV show that used to be on every Saturday afternoon in the 1960s. It originated in Watertown, NY, and was called Monster Movie Matinee.

My brothers and I would plant ourselves in front of the ol' b&w RCA and watch movies like Creature From the Black Lagoon (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0046876/) and The Brain That Wouldn't Die (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052646/). I loved those cheezy old movies. As bad as they were, they evoke such nostalgia now.
Yeah, they used to show those old movies on weekdays after school where I lived. I saw all those old B (and C and D) grade movies from the fifties and sixties.

The cheesiest one I remember was some kind of wasps or flies attaching Chicago. They just took picture of buildings in Chicago and filmed them as wasps walked across the photos. I could have done better with a Super-8 camera. I think Peter Graves was in that one.

And the seating on a spaceship back then usually looked like something from a bus.

ChunkyC
03-14-2007, 03:09 AM
LOL @ the wasps!

Man, I don't know what was worse (or funnier), the critter movies or the sci fi movies. Quite often they were both, like Night of the Lepus (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069005/) (starring DeForest Kelly of Star Trek fame), one of the all-time worst films ever made.

Vincent
03-14-2007, 03:15 AM
Giant killer bunnies don't scare you?

alleycat
03-14-2007, 03:24 AM
I kind of had the hots for the Cat Women of Mars.

ChunkyC
03-14-2007, 03:26 AM
Giant killer bunnies don't scare you?
I'm Canadian. We play pond hockey with polar bears. ;)

alleycat
03-14-2007, 03:29 AM
Don't you mean the polar bears play pond hockey with you?

ChunkyC
03-14-2007, 03:30 AM
I kind of had the hots for the Cat Women of Mars.
Might it have actually been Cat Women of the Moon (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0045609/) you're thinking of?


Don't you mean the polar bears play pond hockey with you?
It's how we train our speed skaters too. :D

alleycat
03-14-2007, 03:32 AM
Oh, heck, I think there were Cat Women everywhere back then.

brianm
03-14-2007, 03:34 AM
Does anyone remember the show "Elvira, Mistress of the Dark" from the 1980's? The movies they ran were awful, but Elvira's comments and skits during commercial breaks were hilarious.

ChunkyC
03-14-2007, 03:35 AM
Love this line from CWofM:

"You're too smart for me, baby... I like 'em stupid."

:roll:

Brian ... yeah, I remember Elvira, she was great!

alleycat
03-14-2007, 03:37 AM
This is also from the Cat Women link:

William Phipps told interviewer Tom Weaver, "When I saw that spaceship set, I thought I was workin' for Soupy Sales! And that giant spider! They held it up with big ropes above us on the cave set and dropped it down on our heads. At the time, I thought it was the most outrageous, absurd thing in the world - how did spiders get on the Moon?! It was all just incredible
I thought, 'How can anybody put this in a movie? It's gonna ruin it!'"

I like "It's gonna ruin it!" . . . like maybe it was going to be up for an Academy Award otherwise?

ChunkyC
03-14-2007, 03:41 AM
:ROFL: Yeah, like the girls in tights on the moon were more believable than the spider!

MidnightMuse
03-14-2007, 04:05 AM
Based on the preview I just now witnessed, I think I'll nominate The Grindhouse as worst film EVER.

Gravity
03-14-2007, 04:17 AM
Teenage Strangler: a sixties would-be thriller filmed in the motion picture capital of America, Huntington, West Virginia. About like you'd think. The actors (all locals) must have known this was going to be their one and only movie, EVER, and Lord love them, they gave it their all. Sting only wished he could chew scenery this well. Still it was fun, in a Ned-the-hardware-store-guy-made-a-movie-and-I'm-in-it kinda way...

swvaughn
03-14-2007, 04:58 AM
The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed-up Zombies--yes, that's it's real title, and yes, the title says it all. And then some. No scares at all, unless you include the hairy wart on the lead villianness' face (the actress bears an uncanny resemblance to Elizabeth Taylor in full drunken stupor in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf). The epic was written by, produced by, and starred a rat-faced young lad named Ray Dennis Steckler, who called himself Cash Flagg in this stinker.

Wow! I'm not the only one who's seen this movie! :D

Shadow_Ferret
03-14-2007, 07:04 AM
My brothers and I would plant ourselves in front of the ol' b&w RCA and watch movies like Creature From the Black Lagoon (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0046876/) and The Brain That Wouldn't Die (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052646/). I loved those cheezy old movies. As bad as they were, they evoke such nostalgia now.

I'm sorry, but Creature from the Black Lagoon was NOT a cheesy old movie. It is a classic, one of the all-time greatest monster movies ever made. Excellent writing. Great dialog. Beautiful sets and scenery. And great spooky music. And one of the best looking monster costumes ever devised.

maestrowork
03-14-2007, 07:24 AM
Are we including B, C, D, E and F movies now? I have quite a few in my collection -- a bunch of old Japanese monster movies were really bad, but in a "it's so bad it's good" way.

Foinah
03-14-2007, 07:53 AM
LOL @ the wasps!

Man, I don't know what was worse (or funnier), the critter movies or the sci fi movies. Quite often they were both, like Night of the Lepus (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069005/) (starring DeForest Kelly of Star Trek fame), one of the all-time worst films ever made.

I loved that one!!! Saw it when I was a wee child...good times ;)

Ardellis
03-14-2007, 01:13 PM
Anyone else a fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000? The stuff they showed -- now those were some bad awful not-good movies. Manos the Hands of Fate is an old favorite. And then there's Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things and Sampson versus the Vampire Women.

Vincent
03-14-2007, 01:41 PM
eh, I've seen lots of 70's gothic flicks about big breasted lesbian vampires, but I never considered them bad...

Doctor Shifty
03-14-2007, 04:06 PM
Gladiator was the most boring time I have spent watching anything for a long time. It had some bloke starring in it who plenty of people thought was OK. I still don't get it.

It was even more boring than Waterworld. No, maybe it wasn't. Yes it was. Well, perhaps...

Oh, yeah, I nearly forgot. Many years ago I went to a twin drive-in to see Mad Max 3. It was full up so we went to the other end which was showing that three hour long King Arthur movie. That was so boring that I'd even forgotten about it until just now. We turn around and watched Mad Max through the back window, trying to lip read from the screen.


I saw an interview with the composer of the score for Gladiator recently. She is more than a bit weird, but at least the music they played through the interview had sufficient interest to stand in its own right. It's a pity the movie was so boring that the music got lost in the mud. After watching Gladiator I think I was brain dead until the next month ending in a y.

Namatu
03-14-2007, 05:32 PM
Lord of War. I want those hours back. How can you make a whole movie about the small arms trade and not blow anything up? That's the worst movie in my recent memory.

Jersey Chick
03-14-2007, 06:15 PM
I'm sorry, but Creature from the Black Lagoon was NOT a cheesy old movie. It is a classic, one of the all-time greatest monster movies ever made. Excellent writing. Great dialog. Beautiful sets and scenery. And great spooky music. And one of the best looking monster costumes ever devised.


I remember getting a poster of the Creature From the Black Lagoon in a box of cereal, (Honeycombs, I think) and using it to scare myself. I was about five and thought the creature was the spookiest thing out there! :)

I agree - total classic.

CatSlave
03-14-2007, 11:52 PM
So I am the first one to mention The DaVinci Code?

I'd rather talk about Joaquin Phoenix and his leather pants.

Ardellis
03-15-2007, 01:10 PM
So I am the first one to mention The DaVinci Code?

You know, I think you are! I wasted a Netflix queue slot on that piece of trash a couple of months ago. I really expected to at least see some decent acting, considering the cast, but aside from the first ten minutes or so of Ian McKellen's screen time, no one actually put any effort into it.

Annie O
03-15-2007, 02:53 PM
TOYS with Robin Williams and Joan Cusack. So bad that I had to leave the movie theatre half way through!

Maryn
03-15-2007, 04:24 PM
Yesterday morning I caught ten minutes of Death to Smoochie. People who agree to direct Robin Williams need to be provided with a whip and chair, or perhaps a stun gun, to get him to settle down. Poor Edward Norton--what an embarrassment to a resume. He's a much better actor than selector of roles.

Maryn, with little patience for over-the-top

maestrowork
03-15-2007, 08:45 PM
Robin Williams has done quite a bit of stinkers. Yet he also compensated with gems such as Dead Poet Society, Mrs. Doubtfire, Good Will Hunting, etc.

CatSlave
03-15-2007, 08:59 PM
Maybe I'm nuts, but a lot of these movies sound like descriptions of PublishAmerica books.

Sej
03-15-2007, 09:47 PM
Went to see a film with my friend called Hope Floats with Sandra Bullock in it was so bad we re-named it S**t Floats. And the worst thing was i sat through all of it because i thought she liked this type of thing, at the end when it was time to leave I had to wake her up!

CatSlave
03-15-2007, 09:59 PM
Some years back my Mom and I were barhopping in Georgetown (Washington, DC) one Friday night and decided to catch a movie. There was a long line outside one of the theaters, so we assumed that the movie must be a good one and got in line. After a 45 minute wait we finally got to the booth and paid $10 EACH for a ticket, still not knowing anything about the movie. Found our seats and noticed that people were looking at us a little bit strangely. The lights went down, and the movie started: Caligula starring Malcolm MacDowell. The most horrible, violent porn imaginable! Well, after spending $10 bucks each we decided to hang tight and watch until the end. All I can say is..Oh My Gawd.

And I'm the only person I know who ever watched a porn flick with her mother.

Lady Esther
03-15-2007, 11:10 PM
Lost in Translation

Ok, I'm a fan of Scarlett Johansson, but this movie was boring. I waited for the climax to find there isn't one.

I've never felt more robbed of time than when I watched Dude Where's My Car?--the most pointless plot ever!

Freddy vs Jason, though it was funny.

The Exorcism of Emily Rose. I saw this in the movies with my family and we laughed the whole time saying, "Come on, Emily. Get it together." Especially after she ate bugs and jumped out the window. Pure comedy.

Jersey Chick
03-16-2007, 12:28 AM
And I'm the only person I know who ever watched a porn flick with her mother.

This is the funniest thing I've heard today! If nothing else, at least you have a good story to tell. ;)

ChaosTitan
03-16-2007, 08:07 AM
I have to thank tourdeforce for reminding me that I thought THE WAY WE WERE was the most boring, annoying "romance" that I've ever had the misfortune to suffer through. ;)

maestrowork
03-16-2007, 08:16 AM
Pootie Tank and Freddy Got Fingered. No, I haven't seen them and have no interest to. I just think the titles were pretty awful.

aruna
03-16-2007, 10:23 AM
Pootie Tank and Freddy Got Fingered. No, I haven't seen them and have no interest to. I just think the titles were pretty awful.


:D There are many movies I KNOW are terrinble just from the title! So I don;t even watch them - otheewise my list would be MUCH longer. Time is too short to waste on terrible movies!

My-Immortal
03-16-2007, 10:47 AM
Bloodrayne was just bad.
Lost in Translation....I wanted to like this movie. I like Bill Murray. I like Scarlet...just not in this movie. It was painfully hard to stay awake while watching/attempting to watch this movie.

Over the past few days, I watched all six Star Wars movies back-to-back-to-back etc starting with Episode 1 and going through to the end. I love the original movies and I really wanted to love the new ones....but while I do enjoy some parts of the new movies, overall they just don't compare to the original movies. Whiney Luke is nowhere near as annoying as whiney 'Annie'! And I'll take the Ewoks over Jar Jar Binks any day.

Hmmm...I'm much better at movies I love....

(As for Dude, Where's my Car....at least it has Jennifer Garner in it. Of course, if you want to watch her play a cheerful, wide-eyed character with more screen time there's 13 going on 30 instead).

Take care --

alaskamatt17
03-16-2007, 11:13 AM
And I liked "The Village". So there.

I liked The Village, too. I never did like Titanic or The Blair Witch Project. I didn't think Revenge of the Sith was that bad. I think a great movie could be made of it with only about 15 minutes worth of cuts. The Phantom Menace needed to shed about 40 minutes to be any good, but there is a really good film hidden behind Jar-Jar Binks and the Barrel Roll Kid. Attack of the Clones ... well, there might be 10 minutes worth of salvage hidden in there somewhere, probably just the parts where nobody is talking.

The worst movies I've seen?

Ice Pirates -- this movie is so terrible I couldn't even laugh at it.

Escape from Alaska -- okay, this one I could at least laugh at. When the main characters get attacked by polar bears in Juneau, and the pipeline spews green radioactive liquid, it's hard not to crack up.

Extreme Heist -- not one, but two ex-Power Rangers! I don't think anyone ever tried to make up an excuse for them to beat up Mexicans in the desert, it just happened.

Shadow_Ferret
03-16-2007, 05:14 PM
Bloodrayne was just bad.


It wasn't just bad, it was a total disappointment. I love the video game. I don't understand how you can take a great premise, hot vampire chick in tight leather killing things, and ruin it.

And I just felt bad for Ben Kingsely. Did he lose a bet or something.

Gravity
03-16-2007, 05:19 PM
The Creeping Terror: another MST3K stinker. Not a bad premise (aliens send a twelve-foot-tall bacterium to Earth to ingest people, the goal being to find out how tough we'd be to conquor), but lacking a budget, that premise was doomed. The film is infamous for two things. First, the producer ran out of money when it came time to make the monster (never a good plan), the result being the critter looked a bit like a cross between one of those dragons in a Chinese New Year's parade and a roll of badly used carpet (many times you could see the feet of the guys underneath carrying it around). Second, and just as bad, is that somehow the soundtrack was destroyed, leaving nothing but a hastily-added voiceover, and for a score, somebody's six-year-old kid pounding lustily on the piano. The result is surrealistic, but in a really bad kind of way.

CatSlave
03-16-2007, 08:01 PM
I have to thank tourdeforce for reminding me that I thought THE WAY WE WERE was the most boring, annoying "romance" that I've ever had the misfortune to suffer through. ;)
Let us not forget that classic, LOVE STORY.
oh barf

ChaosTitan
03-16-2007, 08:10 PM
Ice Pirates -- this movie is so terrible I couldn't even laugh at it.


Robert Urich in space! I was a kid the first time i saw this movie. Admittedly, most of the humor flew over my head (didn't get the whole eunich thing or half the sex jokes). I just loved the time warp thing at the end. I bought it recently on DVD and laughed my ass off.

Because it was so bad. ;)

Have I mentioned THE HILLS HAVE EYES yet? I'm all for horror movies and gross-out sequences, but (spoilers) the graphic rape of Emilie de Ravin's character ruined the film for me. There are some things I just don't want to see, even in a slasher/horror film, and that was it.

I'm also aghast that they made a sequel. :rant:

Ardellis
03-17-2007, 04:02 PM
You want really bad scifi? How about 1979's Starcrash? Christopher Plummer and David Hasselhoff and former child preacher Marjoe Gortner.

And let's add Deep Impact to the list, too. The last ten minutes was just everyone in the cast running for high ground, carrying a baby.

swvaughn
03-17-2007, 04:29 PM
Based on the preview I just now witnessed, I think I'll nominate The Grindhouse as worst film EVER.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

I heartily agree.

Evaine
03-17-2007, 04:38 PM
You want really, really bad?

How about Santa Claus Conquers the Martians?
Or Plan 9 from Outer Space (where the lead character died a few days into shooting, and was replaced by the director's wife's dentist - or something similar, who was much taller and spent the entire time holding a cloak over his face)?
Or the remake of the Avengers with Uma Thurman?

ChaosTitan
03-17-2007, 07:19 PM
And let's add Deep Impact to the list, too. The last ten minutes was just everyone in the cast running for high ground, carrying a baby.

The thing I appreciated about Deep Impact (besides the high profile cast, Tea Leoni excluded) was that they went through with it. A huge comet still hit the ocean, wiped out millions, and flooded as far west as West Virginia. It wasn't as tidy as Armageddon and they killed off half of the stars (rather than the quirky, supporting cast).

Vincent
03-18-2007, 06:00 AM
The thing I appreciated about Deep Impact (besides the high profile cast, Tea Leoni excluded) was that they went through with it. A huge comet still hit the ocean, wiped out millions, and flooded as far west as West Virginia. It wasn't as tidy as Armageddon and they killed off half of the stars (rather than the quirky, supporting cast).

Yes but the SMALL half of the comet hit. They still 'saved the world'. So really they were having their special effects cake and eating it too.

ResearchGuy
03-18-2007, 07:32 AM
. . . Or Plan 9 from Outer Space . . .
Ah, but Plan 9 has the distinction of being so exquisitely bad as to be good in its badness, transcendently, shimmeringly irridescently bad, and hence delicious. You must see Johnny Depp's brilliant portrayal of Ed Wood (movie of that name), about the twistedly brilliant director/producer of Plan 9 and such other fine fare as Jail Bait. (Truly, Johnny Depp's genius showed in his portrayal of Wood.)

My nominees for worst I have ever seen: 10 (the eye candy was NOT worth the price of sitting through that dreck) and Blue Lagoon (my first wife dragged me to THAT bomb).

Now . . . you want another so-bad-it's-good? Try The Terror of Tiny Town, a western (early 1940s, I believe) with an all-midget cast. ALL midgets, horses included. But played straight (except maybe for the midget who walked into the bar UNDER the swinging door -- that was a visual gag).

Just bad: Devil Girl from Mars (though I watched that one about seven times when it was the "million dollar movie of the week" on a Los Angeles station circa 1959--they ran it every night and I loved the campy atmosphere), and Attack of the Giant Leeches (two giant leeches attack five people in one swamp . . . and the zippers showed on the leech suits; awful).

Of course, there is (in the cartoon category) the infamous Bambi Meets Godzilla. My wife refuses to let me show that to our little granddaughters. Hmmmph. Actually, that one was brilliantly done. Just really perverse.

--Ken

Ardellis
03-18-2007, 04:46 PM
Of course, there is (in the cartoon category) the infamous Bambi Meets Godzilla. My wife refuses to let me show that to our little granddaughters. Hmmmph. Actually, that one was brilliantly done. Just really perverse.

Perverse is the right word for that one, Ken. But it is brilliant, and very very funny.

alleycat
03-18-2007, 04:53 PM
Here's the YouTube version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXCUBVS4kfQ

ChaosTitan
03-18-2007, 07:56 PM
Yes but the SMALL half of the comet hit. They still 'saved the world'. So really they were having their special effects cake and eating it too.

True, true. But they let Elijah "He Of The Bluest Eyes" Wood live, so all is right with the world. :D


Another gem I forgot to mention (thanks to TNT for constantly rerunning it) is DEEP BLUE SEA. Smart sharks? Uh huh. Toss in the expressionless Saffron Burrows, and you've got a great stinker. The only reason I watch is for Thomas Jane in a wet suit. :LilLove:

Sage
03-19-2007, 06:42 AM
Went to see a film with my friend called Hope Floats with Sandra Bullock in it was so bad we re-named it S**t Floats. And the worst thing was i sat through all of it because i thought she liked this type of thing, at the end when it was time to leave I had to wake her up!
Oh, that reminds me of when we went to see Alexander. My friend was very excited about it, but I wasn't. I tried talking them into The Incredibles, but, no, Chad wanted to see Alexander. My gods, it was horrible. My roommate & I MST3K'd most of the movie, but we didn't want to say anything to the boys... turns out that they had been discussing leaving but decided not to say anything in case us girls were enjoying ourselves :rolleyes:

Excelsior
03-19-2007, 12:15 PM
First, background:

Around 1989 I saw the original Highlander movie. It became a favorite of mine (to the point where I named my son after the hero - no joke). Each of the sequels brought the series lower and lower, sandwiching a moderately enjoyable TV series, but I'd thought (and hoped) that Highlander: Endgame was the end.

It wasn't. The other day, it was my tragic misfortune to see "Highlander: The Source".

That movie raped my heart.

There was literally nothing wortwhile about the movie. Everything that makes a movie a movie was ill thought and executed worse. The screenplay was pathetic (some studio exec's relative HAD to have written it), the FX were bad even by 1970's standards, the acting was dreary (I wish I'd known that Adrian Paul was doing soo badly - I'd have thrown him 20 bucks). After a while I was just praying for the end to come and drive a stake through the center of the franchise's being, castrating it so that there could be no more horrifically mutated Highlander offspring, but the movie couldn't even throw me that bone. I was left feeling abused and nauseated by the most painful pillaging of something I love since Laurell K Hamilton turned Anita Blake into a sad excuse to write vampire porn.

You'd think writing this would have been cathartc for me. It wasn't. It just reopened the wound and urinated into it. Now I need a drink.

Vincent
03-19-2007, 12:46 PM
Oh, that reminds me of when we went to see Alexander. My friend was very excited about it, but I wasn't. I tried talking them into The Incredibles, but, no, Chad wanted to see Alexander. My gods, it was horrible. My roommate & I MST3K'd most of the movie, but we didn't want to say anything to the boys... turns out that they had been discussing leaving but decided not to say anything in case us girls were enjoying ourselves :rolleyes:

Well I hope you got to see The Incredibles in the end, it was a blast.

dpaterso
03-19-2007, 02:40 PM
Anyone seen Ninja Wars (http://www.badmovies.org/movies/ninjawars/index.html)? I remember it fondly. Great review here, as funny as the film.

-Derek

robeiae
03-19-2007, 03:12 PM
Liquid Sky was probably the worst movie I ever witnessed. Having said that, it was probably one of my favs. as well. In the early 80s my friends and I watched that movie no fewer than 100 times. It was background noise for some crazy parties. It was double featured with Rocky Horror a lot. It was just this incredibly campy wonderfully horrid piece of shit that we could not get enough of. I bet I know every line in that movie. We had catch phrases galore amongst us from that movie!
*sigh*

I hate it when our lives have these parallels...

Shadow_Ferret
03-19-2007, 06:04 PM
Just saw Stranger Than Fiction. WTF? That was a comedy? It was just tediously long and boring.

V for Vendetta. WTF? Did I miss something? Did I miss some important backstory while in the bathroom? I had no clue what was going on other than it felt like a revamped 1984 remake or something with a kung fu knife throwing guy in a mask.

Toothpaste
03-19-2007, 06:30 PM
Oh I loved Stranger Than Fiction! And no it isn't a comedy. It's a drama with funny moments. Really enjoyed it. But it's all subjective.

Worst movie? The League of Extraordinary Gentleman was pretty terrible, made doubly so by ruining such a fabulous idea. I really hope they pull a Batman and try doing it again.

Shadow_Ferret
03-19-2007, 07:49 PM
Oh I loved Stranger Than Fiction! And no it isn't a comedy. It's a drama with funny moments. Really enjoyed it. But it's all subjective.

Worst movie? The League of Extraordinary Gentleman was pretty terrible, made doubly so by ruining such a fabulous idea. I really hope they pull a Batman and try doing it again.
See? The commercials made it seem like a laugh riot comedy. That's why my son wanted to see it. I abhore Will Farrell, so I wasn't too keen on it anyway.

And I didn't mind League. I don't think any movie with Sean Connery in it can be considered a "worst." ;)

Appocolyptik
03-19-2007, 09:47 PM
The worst film I have ever seen is Lethal Ninja (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107392/). However, this is a film that's so bad it's hilariously funny. The dialogue is so awful at times that you're rolling hysterically on the floor at some of the more serious scenes. It's great to blaze a few joints to this film and have stoner induced giggles while watching this unbelievably terrible movie.

Shadow_Ferret
03-19-2007, 10:07 PM
Worse than anything Michael Dudikof starred in, like American Ninja or Avenging Force?

J. Weiland
03-19-2007, 10:13 PM
If you are into B and C-movies, Appo, then enjoy:

http://www.badmovies.org

Being Danish, I can recommend:

http://www.badmovies.org/movies/reptilicus/index.html

Ardellis
03-20-2007, 01:56 PM
Thank you, Toothpaste, for mentioning League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. I can only plead traumatic amnesia for having left it off my list. The comic book was a work of genius. The movie was a nightmare.

No, I'm sorry, guys, there's no way in any universe you're going to make me believe that it's possible to cram something as huge as the Nautilus up the canals of Venice.

Shadow_Ferret
03-20-2007, 05:44 PM
Thank you, Toothpaste, for mentioning League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. I can only plead traumatic amnesia for having left it off my list. The comic book was a work of genius. The movie was a nightmare.

No, I'm sorry, guys, there's no way in any universe you're going to make me believe that it's possible to cram something as huge as the Nautilus up the canals of Venice.

Well, since I've never been to Venice, I was able to suspend my belief on that one. I just thought it was a fun movie. I guess if you were expecting another Doctor Zhivago, of course you'd be disappointed. I like fun over-the-top action romps like this. I loved Van Helsing.

Writing Jedi
03-21-2007, 11:40 PM
First one that springs to mind is Lady in the Water because I saw it just recently. What a waste of time.

maestrowork
03-21-2007, 11:43 PM
Oh crap. A League of Extraordinary Gentlemen! How could I forget that? I the first 20 minutes of it on a plane, and I couldn't stand it. It was so bad.

MattW
03-22-2007, 04:18 AM
The Hulk and Chronicles of Riddick tie for movies so bad I could not watch them on transatlantic flights when I read my only book and had isnomnia.


ETA - Thanks Ferret - I forgot Van Helsing. Same thing, but it was a flight to the Carribean.

Ashtal
03-22-2007, 04:27 AM
Absolutely the worst movie I have ever seen: Ultraviolet.

I have never, ever, been angrier at myself for paying $10 to see this in a theatre, and I was only going to see 'the shiny!'. I was expecting nothing, and would have walked out if I had gone alone.

katiemac
03-22-2007, 04:52 AM
9. Wild Wild West -- I think Roger Ebert had the best line about this movie: "When you're making a Western, and your two heroes, at the very end, ride off into the sunset on a giant mechanical spider, something has gone wrong with your movie."

I'm kickin' the thread back to the original post. Sorry kids.

But have you ever heard Kevin Smith talk about his deal to rewrite the Superman script (http://youtube.com/watch?v=vgYhLIThTvk)? The video's about 20 minutes, but it's great. The punchline doesn't come until the very end, but suddenly Wild Wild West makes sense.

Anonymisty
03-22-2007, 05:19 AM
Worst movie? The League of Extraordinary Gentleman was pretty terrible, made doubly so by ruining such a fabulous idea.

I don't remember any of the plot, but Stuart Townsend looked so fine that I really didn't care... *sigh*

Vincent
03-22-2007, 07:59 AM
The Howling 3 - The Marsupials.

Basically, were-kangaroos and a shape-shifting Russian ballerina terrorise Australia.

Shadow_Ferret
03-22-2007, 04:01 PM
The Hulk and Chronicles of Riddick tie for movies so bad I could not watch them on transatlantic flights when I read my only book and had isnomnia.


ETA - Thanks Ferret - I forgot Van Helsing. Same thing, but it was a flight to the Carribean.
Hey, any time. And although i agree that The Hulk was a complete bastardization of the comic book (how a decent director can take a great idea and turn it into schlock like that is beyond me), Chronicles, to me, was just confusing. I didn't know it was a sequel to Pitch Black and it just left me going, "Huh?"

Jersey Chick
03-22-2007, 04:40 PM
Swap Thing (1982) with Adrienne Barbeau.

It was wrong.
Just so wrong.

The remake with Heather Locklear wasn't so great either - it almost made it to campy.

Almost.

seun
03-22-2007, 05:48 PM
Love Actually.
Maxtrix 1 and 2.
Sixth Sense.

Shadow_Ferret
03-22-2007, 05:52 PM
Love Actually.
Maxtrix 1 and 2.
Sixth Sense.

I don't understand people who put Matrix (the sequels, OK) in the Worst movie category. I understand not liking it, but worst? It has great special effects and I think it's a fun action romp. If you have a decent sound system, that scene where Keanu and the girl in the tight black outfit start shooting up the building is a blast! You can really get the room rumbling with that. Scared the crap out of my wife one night when she was in a sound sleep. hehe

*runs off to put that scene in*

seun
03-22-2007, 06:04 PM
Sorry, Ferret, but The Matrix did nothing for me. It looked great; it sounded great and...that was it. I just didn't see that it had any depth or anything to say. The second one was painful. I didn't bother with the third.

ChaosTitan
03-23-2007, 12:07 AM
I quite enjoyed the first Matrix movie.

Two and three were terrible. Boring, overly long action sequences with no purpose except to wink at the audience and say "Hey, we do even niftier camera shots now that we've got a bigger budget!" And the resolution of the trilogy? *sighs*

I try to forget that sequels exist and enjoy the first film as a single entity. ;)

Gravity
03-23-2007, 01:02 AM
I try to forget that sequels exist and enjoy the first film as a single entity. ;)

I do that with the Alien franchise. For me, there were only two Alien films, the first, and Aliens. I simply don't buy the fact that Newt and Hicks (and poor old Bishop) croaked in film number three with no reason. So in my universe Alien 3 and 4 don't exist: Ripley made it back to Earth, she and Hicks got married, and they adopted Newt. Oh yeah, they're both instructors at Starfleet Academy (I said this is my universe!), and Bishop the android is their wisecracking next-door neighbor. And Vicki from Small Wonder is Newt's best pal.

So there.

Jersey Chick
03-23-2007, 01:03 AM
I don't understand people who put Matrix (the sequels, OK) in the Worst movie category. I understand not liking it, but worst? It has great special effects and I think it's a fun action romp. If you have a decent sound system, that scene where Keanu and the girl in the tight black outfit start shooting up the building is a blast! You can really get the room rumbling with that. Scared the crap out of my wife one night when she was in a sound sleep. hehe

*runs off to put that scene in*

Yanno, when my husband sees a movie and I ask him about it, if the first thing he says is "It had great special effects", that usually means a lot of stuff blew up, but there was no real story. I'll give you that the effects were great, but I like there to be a story I can get into. "Keanu saves the world" just ain't it. I wanted to like it... really... I did...*sigh*

ChaosTitan
03-23-2007, 02:19 AM
I and Bishop the android is their wisecracking next-door neighbor. And Vicki from Small Wonder is Newt's best pal.

So there.

:eek:

OMG, I haven't thought about Small Wonder in years! I used to love that show.

Shadow_Ferret
03-23-2007, 03:13 AM
Sorry, Ferret, but The Matrix did nothing for me. It looked great; it sounded great and...that was it. I just didn't see that it had any depth or anything to say. The second one was painful. I didn't bother with the third.
Depth? What's that? I don't care about depth. It's an action movie! Cotton candy for the mind. I watch for looking great and sounding great. And women dressed in something tight and shiney. :)

seun
03-23-2007, 01:27 PM
Depth? What's that? I don't care about depth. It's an action movie! Cotton candy for the mind. I watch for looking great and sounding great. And women dressed in something tight and shiney. :)


I feel the same some of the time. Then I'll watch something utterly crap like Resident Evil or Maximum Overdrive. Those films know they're crap and make no pretensions to be anything else. I had the feeling all the through The Matrix that it wanted to be deep and important but it failed for me. It looked very cool but for two hours plus, I wanted to use my brain at some point.

nighttimer
03-23-2007, 01:36 PM
Among the worst of alll time...

I Spit On Your Grave: I watched this just to see if it was as vile as Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel said it was. Yep, it sure was. Everyone involved in the making of this film should be rounded up and neutered.

The Blair Witch Project: The phrase "don't believe the hype" was created for this piece of crap. I wanted to take those hand-held cameras and stick them where the sun don't shine.

Clerks II: The first was amateurish, overrated, but had some scattered laughs. The sequel was amateurish, unwatchable and totally without laughs. Kevin Smith doesn't know squat about making a coherent movie.

Caligula: If you watch this movie you will know you are going to heaven because you've been through hell. This movie is the reason why Peter O' Toole will never win an Oscar. He's been bad and he must be punished.

The Other Side of Midnight: A three-hour soap opera featuring the great John Beck and Marie France-Pisier. Her abortion-with-a-clothes-hanger-in-the-shower is a classic scene---if you're into that kind of thing. I'm not. Susan Sarandon probably has forgotten she was in this and hopes you have too.

The Matrix Revolutions: Third movies suck. Just ask anyone who watched Godfather III, Blade: Trinity, Jaws III, Return of the Jedi and this time-waster. It just goes on and on and on and the death scene of Trinity goes on even longer. Even my teenage son was bored and looking at his watch.

Wolf Creek: This movie made me feel indecent. It's just about raping and torturing and killing two girls in the most sadistic way possible. Fun if you like that type of thing. I don't.

Anything Woody Allen has made since "Annie Hall" If there is a more overrated, undertalented actor/writer/director than Allen I don't know who it is. Maybe Warren Beatty. But at least Beatty hasn't made the same movie over and over and over again.

:wag:

RumpleTumbler
03-23-2007, 05:12 PM
I watched "A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints" a few days ago.

It was as close to nothing as a movie could actually get without ceasing to exist entirely.

ChaosTitan
03-23-2007, 07:46 PM
Anything Woody Allen has made since "Annie Hall" If there is a more overrated, undertalented actor/writer/director than Allen I don't know who it is. Maybe Warren Beatty. But at least Beatty hasn't made the same movie over and over and over again.



This reminds me: MATCH POINT. Boring, boring, boring. The only saving grace was that the MC shot Scarlet Johannsen. :D

jvc
03-23-2007, 07:58 PM
I have a whole list of worst films I have ever seen, included in that list is most of those you guys have already been mentioned. I actually enjoyed Matrix, although the next two in the trilogy sucked big time (especially the bicardi advert in the middle of number 2).

I got told to watch Doom, starring The Rock (oh boy, Dwayne, now that's a tough guy name). Anyways, I got told from a mate that this was one of the best films of the year, so I paid my £3.50 and watched the film. Let's just say, I dont speak to that friend anymore.

I usually love epics, and Gladiator and Troy are amongst my favourite films, so when Ridley Scott brought out Kingdom of Heaven (Ridley is one of my fav directors), I thought ooh, this is gonna be good. What a let down, (I know I might get seriously kicked for saying this) but who thought putting that plank Orlando Bloom into the lead role of this film. He just doesnt have the presence to pull off this type of character. That, and many other things, made this a dissapointment for me, and I so much wanted to enjoy it.

(p.s. I wont mention Alexander which was also cack.)

Evaine
03-23-2007, 10:20 PM
Oh, Orlando Bloom was adequate - and the film did have Alexander Siddig - and they got the costumes right. I thought Kingdom of Heaven was one of the better historical films that has come out in the last few years.

Ardellis
03-25-2007, 01:52 AM
Oh, Orlando Bloom was adequate - and the film did have Alexander Siddig - and they got the costumes right. I thought Kingdom of Heaven was one of the better historical films that has come out in the last few years.

I liked Kingdom of Heaven, too. Not loved, but liked. The costumes were gorgeous, you're right. And Alexander Siddig really was the highlight of the piece, IMO. Orlando Bloom is pretty, but a great actor he ain't.

I wanted to see Alexander but never quite got around to it. Our local paper ran one memorable review that said, "There are many great highlights in Alexander, and they're all in Colin Farrell's hair."

Vincent
04-04-2007, 07:10 AM
I do that with the Alien franchise. For me, there were only two Alien films, the first, and Aliens. I simply don't buy the fact that Newt and Hicks (and poor old Bishop) croaked in film number three with no reason. So in my universe Alien 3 and 4 don't exist: Ripley made it back to Earth, she and Hicks got married, and they adopted Newt. Oh yeah, they're both instructors at Starfleet Academy (I said this is my universe!), and Bishop the android is their wisecracking next-door neighbor. And Vicki from Small Wonder is Newt's best pal.

So there.

Oh yeah, I'm with you all the way. Except for Small Wonder; that reference just zipped right by me.

I'm also going to apply this rule to Terminator 3. urg

Writer2011
04-04-2007, 07:21 AM
Who can forget Amityville 3-D?

Some of the worst movies ever made:

Rhustler's Rhapsody-one of the worst EVER!!
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun-Need I say more?

jnesvold
04-04-2007, 06:39 PM
The worst movies I've ever seen, huh? I don't know if Spanking the Monkey counts, since it was so bad I shut it off after half an hour. The Village was bad, The Marine, Kaaterskill Falls, Rest Stop, The Dukes of Hazzard, Gerry, Garfield, Stay Alive, Stranger Than Fiction...That's all I can think of right now.

James D. Macdonald
04-04-2007, 06:51 PM
Mine are Spawn of the Slithis and Angel of H.E.A.T. A movie has to be bad to beat those. (The Deadly Silver Ninja comes close.) Made-to-be-bad movies like Surf Nazis Must Die don't count.

How about Leprechaun? With the patch of shamrocks played by a green spotlight shining on the ground? The only possible reason to see this movie would be if Jennifer Aniston whipped off her shirt, but she doesn't. Fully-clad all the way through.

fedorable1
04-04-2007, 07:01 PM
Ok, am I the ONLY one here who thinks Eragon is the absolute worst piece of celluloid crap ever created? The acting was horrendous (and I usually like Jeremy Irons), there were a thousand inconsistencies, the cinematography gave me nightmares (they filmed the boom operator for God's sake!), and it was far worse than the book - which was terrible in itself.

It's essentially the drivel of a 15 year old kid who was obsessed with Star Wars and Tolkien, and then decided to make a book about it. Then he got one of his high school buddies to film it between classes.

jnesvold
04-04-2007, 07:42 PM
Ok, am I the ONLY one here who thinks Eragon is the absolute worst piece of celluloid crap ever created? The acting was horrendous (and I usually like Jeremy Irons), there were a thousand inconsistencies, the cinematography gave me nightmares (they filmed the boom operator for God's sake!), and it was far worse than the book - which was terrible in itself.

It's essentially the drivel of a 15 year old kid who was obsessed with Star Wars and Tolkien, and then decided to make a book about it. Then he got one of his high school buddies to film it between classes.

This reminds me of some really bad movies I've had to sit through for my kids' sake: the Spy Kids franchise and the Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl.. Man, were those bad.

Lycius
04-04-2007, 08:30 PM
These type of lists always crack me up because of the movies people consider "The worst EVAR!"

Some of you must really have a incredibly limited library of movies to choose from and no concept of what some of the movies were actually about.

Napoleon Dynamite was a clique film and you pretty much had to grow up in a certain kind of town in a certain time to get the humor.

It was absolutely histerical but my wife(5 years younger) didn't get it.

Ice Pirates and Yellowbeard are cult classics and anyone who puts them on a list of worst ever should never be allowed to watch any other movie that doesn't include Tom Cruise as the lead.

I could go on about the lack of some of you to appreciate a good, bad film for days but I will give you some examples of truely horrid movies.

Battlefield Earth - The director must have REALLY hated L Ron. I almost walked out but I felt the need to punish myself for actually spending 10 bucks on a ticket to that garbage.

First Knight - This movie destroyed Mallory in the first 20 minutes. I seriously couldn't watch Sean Connery again without disappointment until The Rock. Beyond the HORRID story the props were made from beer can tabs.

Ishtar - I can't even begin to say anything about this turd.

Howard the Duck - Oh My Gawd.

Next of Kin - Liam Nieson should suck on a shotgun for this one.

Star Trek V - This movie is responsible for the "Odd numbered Trek movies suck" phrase.

Waterworld - Good lord.

Cyborg - So bad I almost cried.

Elektra and Daredevil - So very bad.

The Hulk - Where for art thou Lou?!

All Highlander movies after the first - I don't even recognize anything but the original as a Highlander film.

I've got the whole tech floor at Safeco thinking of truely terrible films so I'll add more later.

zahra
04-05-2007, 11:04 PM
I think it's a close-run thing between some crap about British boys getting involved with boxing and gansters in the US in the thirties, which managed to hit every single boxing and gangster cliche in existence, and a horror about a haunted lake (not the Demi Moore thing), in which the lead actress didn't seem to be even trying to act. I have expunged both their titles from my memory.

'Blair Witch Project'? When it finished, my sister and I looked at each other in absolute disbelief.

Soccer Mom
04-06-2007, 01:18 AM
I could go on about the lack of some of you to appreciate a good, bad film for days but I will give you some examples of truely horrid movies.

Battlefield Earth - The director must have REALLY hated L Ron. I almost walked out but I felt the need to punish myself for actually spending 10 bucks on a ticket to that garbage.

First Knight - This movie destroyed Mallory in the first 20 minutes. I seriously couldn't watch Sean Connery again without disappointment until The Rock. Beyond the HORRID story the props were made from beer can tabs.

Ishtar - I can't even begin to say anything about this turd.

Howard the Duck - Oh My Gawd.

Next of Kin - Liam Nieson should suck on a shotgun for this one.

Star Trek V - This movie is responsible for the "Odd numbered Trek movies suck" phrase.

Waterworld - Good lord.

Cyborg - So bad I almost cried.

Elektra and Daredevil - So very bad.

The Hulk - Where for art thou Lou?!

All Highlander movies after the first - I don't even recognize anything but the original as a Highlander film.

I've got the whole tech floor at Safeco thinking of truely terrible films so I'll add more later.


A most excellent list! I had forgotten some of these "gems". I'll also add "Tomb Raider." That was the stupidest, most incomprehensible excuse for editing I've ever seen. I don't demand a great plot ffrom action films, but the action sequences all made me go WTF? You shouldn't be going WTF three seconds into a movie.:e2fight:

Lycius
04-06-2007, 05:18 PM
Oh my god! I can't believe I forgot the worst pile of trash ever!

Dungeons and Dragons: The Movie

The fact that Jeremy Irons was in this film made me tear up. This movie is actually worse than Battlefield Earth.

jthome1223
04-06-2007, 05:33 PM
Lost in Translation lived up to its title.