No, it definitely doesn't. I liked it. I don't know if you're looking for feedback, but a couple impressions I had were that there were a couple phrases that maybe could be "de-cliched" just a bit, like "broad shoulders" and "cry alone at night."
Then after "
they live so far away" it seems funny to say "I miss
him" rather than "
them," so maybe it could just be "
he lives so far away"? Or even rephrased in a less common way.
If you weren't looking for input, forgive me, and I'll shut up now!
I'm no expert; I haven't even finished a whole song yet. But I do like it, and I can identify with the feelings.