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View Full Version : FYI: Rachel Vater "Got Hook"



Melanie Nilles
03-07-2007, 11:08 PM
I suggest anyone who wants to learn how to improve the hook for their story check out her journal comments for what people have submitted. I believe Miss Snark has done the same thing, but this is a different agent with a different opinion. Interesting reading!

http://raleva31.livejournal.com/

Melanie

Shwebb
03-08-2007, 12:54 AM
Thanks for that. I loved the Happy Hooker Crapometer, and I'll look forward to perusing this stuff, too.

Sage
03-08-2007, 04:25 AM
I submitted mine to it, but it's not up in the first round she did on Friday.

Provrb1810meggy
03-08-2007, 04:56 AM
I submitted mine as well and it wasn't on the first round. It's so nice of her to do this, though, so I'm trying not to be impatient!

Judg
03-08-2007, 07:42 AM
Let us know how you guys did once you've seen her reaction. (They're probably up now.) I don't always agree with what she says, but it certainly is good to know what agents consider overdone.

Sage
03-08-2007, 07:48 AM
There are some more fantasy & middle grade ones up now. Mine's not up yet.

weatherfield
03-08-2007, 07:57 AM
She already did mine, Judg. She called it smart, but said it probably wouldn't be right for her.

Judg
03-08-2007, 08:01 AM
Which one was it, weatherfield?

weatherfield
03-08-2007, 08:06 AM
It was #9 in Urban Fantasy part 1. She seemed to find it interesting, but a little too out there.

Sage
03-08-2007, 08:10 AM
It was #9 in Urban Fantasy part 1. She seemed to find it interesting, but a little too out there.
But it's been well received by the other posters on the blog

Judg
03-08-2007, 08:12 AM
You must find her reaction encouraging, nonetheless.

weatherfield
03-08-2007, 09:07 AM
But it's been well received by the other posters on the blog

Yeah, people's reactions to the concept and the characters have been really gratifying. I really like it when I can get outside input on my ideas, and it sure doesn't hurt that a lot of the comments have been positive :)


You must find her reaction encouraging, nonetheless.

Definitely. While I was a little disappointed that the premise wasn't grounded-in-the-real enough for her, I was pretty happy that she didn't say there was anything structurally wrong with the hook. Now to find a way to convey tone a little more effectively . . . :o

Excelsior
03-08-2007, 12:12 PM
Just have to say that I've had the pleasure of interacting with Ms Vater on a number of occasions. She takes great interest in the writers she deals with and always has a lot of valuable insight to offer. Glad to see anything with her name on it.

JohnB1988
03-08-2007, 05:04 PM
Well, Rachel put my hook up in Sci-fi. I was pretty much the only one that didn’t get either a “got hook” or a “didn’t work” Just a Ew!

No one commented, so I guess my plot's just too far out. Guess I’ll have to work on the hook to make it sound more like the romantic love story that it is.


Slight edit here: More Ews! Have occurred so I’m coming out of the closet. I’m #15 in the First batch.

Sage
03-08-2007, 09:18 PM
Yay, mine's up now (#2 in the second round of Urban Fantasy hooks). She seemed to like it :e2bouncey but mentioned that she would like to see more of the "urban" part of urban fantasy in the hook.

san_remo_ave
03-08-2007, 09:38 PM
Yay, mine's up now (#2 in the second round of Urban Fantasy hooks). She seemed to like it :e2bouncey but mentioned that she would like to see more of the "urban" part of urban fantasy in the hook.

Hi Sage,
That's great! This is also your Nano book, isn't it? Congrats!

weatherfield
03-08-2007, 09:53 PM
Yay, mine's up now (#2 in the second round of Urban Fantasy hooks).

Nice work, Sage! And your novel looks like it's right up my alley. I'm crazy about urbanizing monotheistic dogma, which I'll admit probably makes me weird. I have a take on Azrael in my story as well, but I suspect your version is more flattering. In my mine, he comes off as a bit antisocial :D

Sage
03-09-2007, 03:29 AM
Nice work, Sage! And your novel looks like it's right up my alley. I'm crazy about urbanizing monotheistic dogma, which I'll admit probably makes me weird. I have a take on Azrael in my story as well, but I suspect your version is more flattering. In my mine, he comes off as a bit antisocial :D
Well, I don't know about more flattering. From his daughter's POV, he's mostly a jerk who doesn't care about his children's feelings. But he does what he does for what he thinks is the best, & he has received the respect & loyalty of most of the Angels, so he must be doing something right ;)

Yes, sanremoave, this is my NaNoWriMo novel :D

Sage
03-09-2007, 08:31 AM
Well, Rachel put my hook up in Sci-fi. I was pretty much the only one that didn’t get either a “got hook” or a “didn’t work” Just a Ew!

No one commented, so I guess my plot's just too far out. Guess I’ll have to work on the hook to make it sound more like the romantic love story that it is.


Slight edit here: More Ews! Have occurred so I’m coming out of the closet. I’m #15 in the First batch.
I think the "ew" was just a response to the situation the MC has to face. "Ew, I don't want to face that," instead of, "ew, this plot is just plain icky." I'm glad you were this "ew" instead of another I read ;) I suspect you didn't get responses from people on the blog, 'cuz the sf aspects weren't really highlighted in the hook, & most of the people reading & responding were probably looking specifically at them from a sf/f reader viewpoint (like, I didn't read the hook posts in genres I don't write, or at least read).

JohnB1988
03-09-2007, 05:36 PM
Sage, Thanks for checking my hook out. Yea, I’m hoping that my MC’s conflict was just one that was too far outside Ms Vater’s interest (comfort) zone. Surely there’s an agent somewhere… Anyway, it did let me know that my hook overemphasizes the conflict and I need to bring the romance more to the forefront. Plus a love story that takes place in the future—not an easy genre to define in a query. :Shrug:

Sage
03-12-2007, 06:13 AM
Provrb1810meggy, yours is up now (YA #2) if you haven't seen it.

Provrb1810meggy
03-12-2007, 02:36 PM
Thanks, Sage! I've seen it. Her comments are very similar to Evil Editors, regarding the whole car crash thing.