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Sparhawk
03-01-2007, 09:46 PM
Yes dear friends it’s time for the latest from the mind of Miranda; AUTHOR: The role playing game.

Simply send your manuscript to us here at Publish Ameriscam. We’ll give your book the chance it deserves and send you two free unedited copies as your first game playing pieces. Also, for every person that plays the game, we actually send you one genuine bonafide one dollar bill suitable for framing and impressing your friends at cocktail parties.

Hold on you newly scammed… I mean published author you, now’s when the real fun begins. Take your game piece to the bookstore nearest you and compete against all those other authors, who only through elitism and snobbery in the publishing business, were able to get their work on an actual bookshelf. Approach the book store manager with one of your game pieces and try and get an actual book signing. Remember, he who moves the most game pieces wins. Remember, your book/game piece is just as good as all the other books gathering dust on the shelf. In Author; the role playing game you must promote yourself and your work. For an additional $29.95 you can get the “Professional” edition of Author; The role playing game which includes fifty ink jet business cards and fifty home made bookmarks to help you promote and play the game. The “Masters” edition includes fifty crayon color brochures produced by a local kindergarten art class, a must have for all you promotional Tigers.

Still not convinced? Well just hang on to your hats, it gets even better. We here at Publish Ameriscam will even provide you an internet chat forum where you can share your experiences with other game players and even boast about your successes as you raid and pillage bookstores across the fruited plain. Compare scores, get tips and more importantly encourage each other to keep playing the game and buying game pieces.

So, what are you waiting for? Stop struggling with those elitist snobs in the real publishing industry and join us here at Author; the role playing game. Let America be your game board and every bookstore be a role playing opportunity.

CatSlave
03-01-2007, 10:07 PM
Yes dear friends it’s time for the latest from the mind of Miranda; AUTHOR: The role playing game...

For an additional $29.95 you can get the “Professional” edition of Author; The role playing game which includes fifty ink jet business cards and fifty home made bookmarks to help you promote and play the game. The “Masters” edition includes fifty crayon color brochures produced by a local kindergarten art class, a must have for all you promotional Tigers.

Which version has the book-signing tablecloth?
Or is that the free gift you get when you purchase a minimum of 50 copies of your own book?
(Remember, no royalties are paid for self-purchases.)

LloydBrown
03-01-2007, 10:09 PM
Or you can get it here (http://www.lloydwrites.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=46&Itemid=48), for free.

CatSlave
03-01-2007, 10:31 PM
Or you can get it here (http://www.lloydwrites.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=46&Itemid=48), for free.
Oh My Gawd, I have to have it!
I've always dreamed of feeling like a real author without having to actually do any hard work.
You're the answer to my prayers. :D

Sparhawk
03-02-2007, 12:24 AM
Or you can get it here (http://www.lloydwrites.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=46&Itemid=48), for free.

Damn !!! Somebody beat me to the punch!! Never in a million years would I have dreamed that this would ACTUALLY be an actual game. I wonder if Publish America knows about this. It could cut into thier bottom line.

giftedrhonda
03-02-2007, 12:34 AM
Dang, I got all excited. I thought this was an RPG or something...haha. I wanted to be the rogue author with a charisma of 16.

*puts away 20-sided dice*

Atomic Bear
03-02-2007, 01:06 AM
<humor>

Storymaster: So now what are you going to do?

Player: I am going to write to PA to ask them why there are more errors in my new book then when I started.

Storymaster: Roll two twenty sided dice...

Player: I rolled a 18

Storymaster: Well, the rules say if you roll from 1 to 39 you get a tone letter, too bad you didn't roll a 40.

Player: Well....then....I am going to...um...By 1000 books.

Storymaster: Roll a 1 on three 100 sided dice to see if they arrive in the next 12 months....

</humor>

LloydBrown
03-02-2007, 07:31 AM
I wonder if Publish America knows about this. It could cut into thier bottom line.

Probably. They read the board here.

J.S Greer
03-02-2007, 07:58 AM
Dang, I got all excited. I thought this was an RPG or something...haha. I wanted to be the rogue author with a charisma of 16.

*puts away 20-sided dice*

Me too. As a level 12 barbarian writer, I know I could have done well. I roll natural 20's a lot. :)

zizban
03-02-2007, 06:24 PM
I was hoping to be a necromancer so i could raise HB Marcus from the grave and unleash him on the unsuspecting populace.

WWWWolf
03-02-2007, 11:46 PM
Or you can get it here (http://www.lloydwrites.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=46&Itemid=48), for free.

Informative but not quite humorous enough. Dang, it would be nice to see something similar to the... hum...

...wait, I've got it. Paranoia would make a nice basis for this sort of game. I'm a bit too un-coffeed to think of what sort of proper equivalents we could get, but we already have here some happiness medication, communist mutant traitors, near-impossible missions where everyone gets killed (six times over) and inventive and often futile ways to avoid such fate.