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So... what do you think of punishing your kids? As in "you can't go out with your friends for a month". Does it work? Is it stupid?
Haggis, your new avatar is creepy.
figured that would make me sound like some sort of bondage freak.
I don't like the word discipline, partly because I imagine it as a euphemism for spanking or whipping, and also because of the book "Dare To Discipline" (there's a copy around here somewhere, but I haven't read it - just Dobson's reputation is enough to make me cringe) But whatever you call it...
I can say that two things are important: consistency, and not punishing out of anger (that is, punishing a child BECAUSE YOU are angry).
–noun 1.training to act in accordance with rules; drill: military discipline.
2.activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill; training: A daily stint at the typewriter is excellent discipline for a writer.
3.punishment inflicted by way of correction and training.
4.the rigor or training effect of experience, adversity, etc.: the harsh discipline of poverty.
5.behavior in accord with rules of conduct; behavior and order maintained by training and control: good discipline in an army.
6.a set or system of rules and regulations.
7.Ecclesiastical. the system of government regulating the practice of a church as distinguished from its doctrine.
8.an instrument of punishment, esp. a whip or scourge, used in the practice of self-mortification or as an instrument of chastisement in certain religious communities.
9.a branch of instruction or learning: the disciplines of history and economics.
–verb (used with object)
10.to train by instruction and exercise; drill.
11.to bring to a state of order and obedience by training and control.
12.to punish or penalize in order to train and control; correct; chastise.
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.
What did you do, Dama? Am I going to have to call your parents, againSo... what do you think of punishing your kids? As in "you can't go out with your friends for a month". Does it work? Is it stupid?
What did you do, Dama? Am I going to have to call your parents, again
((Dama)), I hate "punishing" my teen. If she's unhappy I am unhappy. But she has to have limits, bounderies. I let her know the rules long ago, so she accepts her groundings, just part of life, groing up.
I knew that already. But please! There are limits! If I was venturing into... I don't know, Tepito or something (that place has a seriously bad reputation for kidnappings, drugs, and everything else), she has a reason to be worried. But I was in a McDonald's in the 'nice' part of the city and a friend drove me home. How is that something to worry about? We didn't even move from the McDonald's, we weren't doing anything potentially dangerous except maybe fooling around with a loose chair (and it was a friend who fell down, not me). She just doesn't understand that yes, she can be worried about me, but there are limits too.It's a cliche thing for me to say, but your mum was just worried about you.
Ohh ((Dama)) you just mirrored my daughter's words to a tee. Try to remember your Mom is one the good guys --on your side.Me?? Nothing! It's just that since they're hauling me off to Monterrey against my will, I've been trying to make the most out of the time I have left with my friends and boyfriend, meaning that I lose track of time (who cares about time anyway? I was not born to be constantly checking a watch (that always says it's 18:98 'cause it's broken)) and arrive home at least 2 hours after I said I would.
The problem now is that my mom got seriously angry last night and told me that if I did it again, she'd punish me. I said: "Okay, you're punishing me. What do you plan to accomplish with that?" And she kind of got angrier because she obviously doesn't have an answer for that. She hates when I outsmart her, which prompts her to act all irrational. In fact, the other day she was about to punish me and I said: "do you really think that punishing me is going to make me less distracted?" ('cause it's true, the main problem here is that I'm absent-minded, which is not going to be cured by spending time locked up in my room). That saved me last time, but mom's getting fed up with not finding an answer.
Which is totally unfair, 'cause all my life I've been the best daughter I could, always respecting house rules and curfews and even passing out great opportunities because I knew my parents wouldn't agree and stuff like that. It's not like I'm doing drugs in my bathroom or anything, it's just that I want to spend more time with my friends, 'cause next summer it's going to be bye bye.
I've been trying to make the most out of the time I have left with my [...]boyfriend...