The REAL X-Treme Cooking Thread!

Wierd stuff TR. Cooking is harmony. I don't like mixing a lotta sauces with too many folks. The last time this kinda competition happened I accidentally blew off the top of Mt. St. Helens. Ruined all my good cookware.

Worst one? Honestly?

My first attempt at brining a Christmas turkey. It was a fine plump organic bird, cooked to perfection, and as tender as you could want. Except that I had measured the salt for the brine incorrectly, and it might as well have been a ham, it was so over-salted.

Fortunately our guests were too drunk to notice or care.

TsukiRyoko said:

While I hate to rival our PeeDee

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I don't know who to choose: you're under-age but Pete's male...

Tsuki said:

What's the absolute worst gone-wrong moment of your cooking...life. Or whatever the hell it's called.

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I generally add worcestershire sauce to everything.
So I made Spag-Bol for others this weekend. I was shaking the sauce into the pan when the top fell off. I found it interesting-tasting, but then I was the only one who didn't get violently ill.
I think it was because they felt obliged to choke it down. Years of smoking and drinking to (almost) excess have left me 3 or 4 functioning tastebuds.

The day I used old corn starch in a pumpkin toffee cheesecake.

It was pumpkin toffee sludge. You could still eat it, but you needed a spoon. Or a straw.

Bmwhtly said:

I don't know who to choose: you're under-age but Pete's male...

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I'm not sure whether to be alarmed or not.

PeeDee said:

I'm not sure whether to be alarmed or not.

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Best play it safe and lock the door.

Rich said:

Wierd stuff TR. Cooking is harmony. I don't like mixing a lotta sauces with too many folks. The last time this kinda competition happened I accidentally blew off the top of Mt. St. Helens. Ruined all my good cookware.

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Hey, I still have the remains of your cookware around here somewhere.

TsukiRyoko said:

While I hate to rival our PeeDee, heehee, I feel the need to bring light to the truly disasterous cooks on AW. I know I've had more than my share of, er, explosive cooking, but I'd like to hear about some of yours.

What's the absolute worst gone-wrong moment of your cooking...life. Or whatever the hell it's called.

*avoids Pete angry swipes*

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I get the impression there may be a food fight about start between Pete and Tsuki.

Not me, but my college roommate scorched off her eyelashes and half her bangs trying to light the oven in the dorm. After that I stuck with cooking atop the stove - the burners were self-lighting.

Over the summer I found out the hard way that cumin and cinnamon are NOT interchangeable when making an apple pie.

Not my disaster, but my mom and I did try to repair my sister's once. Did you know that nothing will hide garlic in oatmeal?

Don't get me started. I'm not even going to get started. Just a couple of days ago I made biscuits and gravy. I put 3/4 of a cup of milk in the home made biscuits instead of the 1 cup it called for and had to start all over.

Fooey!

Microwaving an egg, trying to make a hard-boiled egg. Try it, I dare you.

maestrowork said:

Microwaving an egg, trying to make a hard-boiled egg. Try it, I dare you.

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You dork.

maestrowork said:

Microwaving an egg, trying to make a hard-boiled egg. Try it, I dare you.

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I've heard placing a bar of soap in a microwave is quite intersting. If anyone can test this out and post the results...

dahmnait said:

Not my disaster, but my mom and I did try to repair my sister's once. Did you know that nothing will hide garlic in oatmeal?

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Cinnamon-raisin pumpernickel swirl bread doesn't go too well with garlic, either...

But... but... they say you can microwave anything. Anything!

maestrowork said:

But... but... they say you can microwave anything. Anything!

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I read a story a few years back where a woman put her cat, who was soaked through, in the microwave to try and dry it.

This wasn't me, but my mom wasn't paying attention once and put cinnamon in for chilli powder making chilli one time.

maestrowork said:

But... but... they say you can microwave anything. Anything!

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It worked in Gremlins...

maestrowork said:

But... but... they say you can microwave anything. Anything!

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You can, but whether or not it's a good idea to is another story...

Here's a tip - if you can't make the fireworks on Fourth of July, just put aluminum foil in your microwave for a couple of minutes instead. Pretty sparks...

I've never had any cooking mistakes, but my BIL and I used to brew beer together and at one point you have to add sugar, it helps with carbonation. The instructions said something like (it's been years) add one cup and I misread it and thought it said add one PACKAGE.

Needless to say the beer was supercarbonated. When you'd pop off the top the beer would erupt like a diet coke with a mentos dropped into it.

I hear we're lucky they didn't simply explode.

Pagey's_Girl said:

Here's a tip - if you can't make the fireworks on Fourth of July, just put aluminum foil in your microwave for a couple of minutes instead. Pretty sparks...

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I had a jar of honey that had set too thick to spread. So I popped it in the Microwave to warm it into runniness.
Being a sensible chap, I made sure to remove the metal lid first. However I didn't realise that the shiny bits on the label were metal. *Duh*
Set the microwave for a minute, went to slice the bread. Glanced back at the microwave and... well... I saw the Apocalypse!

What I used to call 'cooking mistakes', my ex used to call 'additional dining opportunities'.

So unless it was very burned, nothing ever got thrown out.

Nothing ever killed him either. dammit.

The closest I've ever come is when I added twice the hot pepper a recipie called for to an African dish.

The guests...except the African lady and another friend...well...they cried. They kept eating it, and they cried. The other two said it was 'mild', and asked for the recipie.

I can get you the recipie for ZilZil Wat, if you'd like.