senseless butterflies

Thump · Feb 12, 2007

I've been extremely nervous all day for no particular reason. Right now I'm sitting in a cafe at the edge of a panic attack...

OK, so I skipped class to try to finish an essay for today and it's still not done. No biggy though, it's for a whopping 6% of my grade, I haven't received an answer regarding that internship I wanna do this summer, no biggy, it's been two days since I applied, I'm taking six classes at uni, no biggy (are you seeing a pattern?) there's one I can drop if I feel I'm not keeping up...

Maybe I'm about to burn out? Uh oh... last time it happened I gained 60 pounds in three months. Still have the stretch marks to prove it...

Anyway, this is most unpleasant and that cheesecake sitting on the table next to me isn't helping.

Discuss: the heebie-jeebies... for no reason...

Soccer Mom · Feb 12, 2007

Deep breath. No need to panic. You can handle this. Six classes is a heavy load, but like you said, you can lighten it if you need to. No need to burn out. Vent here.

Have a small sliver of cheesecake. Just an itty bitty one. You can do it.

Thump · Feb 12, 2007

>.< *breathes deeply*

Not really helping... you know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach/ chest when you have to step on stage and sing in front of 400 people who just don't like you? Well, ok, you might not but I do (what possessed me to do it? What?). Been having that all day...

And that essay on Poe's "The Black Cat" is prolly not the best thing to do when I'm in this state. You know, I think it's senseless fear mixed with guilt (over what I don't know).

Argh! I'm freaking out (quietly, I'm always quiet)!

Soccer Mom · Feb 12, 2007

No, I do understand. I'm a choir director and-- true confession -- I'm afraid of singing in public. But I have to do it and I hate it.

It's anxiety, pure and simple. The Black Cat is all about irrational fear and guilt. Ulp. Maybe not the best topic for an anxious day.

Anything else you could focus on for a bit?

truelyana · Feb 12, 2007

What gets you relaxed?

Thump · Feb 12, 2007

>.< not really. I have to finish this essay today. I'm practically over (just need to write a conclusion that makes it sound like I totally know what I'm talking about and add in the quotations).

Funny thing is that I'm hypothyroidic but for the past two months I haven't been taking my hormones. Hypothyroidism does funny things to my moods. Thing is, I started taking them again two weeks ago and the panic comes on now X-D These pills are no Phentermine but they are supposed to make me happy and energetic...

*throws her coffee cup across the cafe* Argh!

*cough* Where was I? I'm feeling a little better now actually... guess there is something to sharing... thanks soccer mom

You're my hero.
That thread about "are raisins racist" or whatever helped a little too. Wish I could post in the TIO X-D

What gets me relaxed? a nice big A written on my papers, vacation, Babylon 5, ice cream (hence those 60lbs gained two years ago >.<), sex... None of which are available at this time (especially the sex *Sigh*)

Soccer Mom · Feb 12, 2007

I'll give you an "A". I'm not a teacher, but I play one on TV.

Vent anytime.

(FYI) the Humor genre thread has a "comedy caberet" in which some of the sillier types (such as moi) hang out. Visit anytime. Tell a joke at the open mike or just lurk and giggle with us.

SC Harrison · Feb 12, 2007

Thump said:
*throws her coffee cup across the cafe* Argh!

You must laugh outloud. You need the endorphins to bring things into perspective and understand that everything will be okay.

To help, think about this: two sibling kittens are playfighting, and one of them acts like things got out of control and it was hurt, so it walks away in a huff. As soon as the guilty-feeling kitty looks away in shame, the supposed victim launches itself in a surprise attack.

truelyana · Feb 12, 2007

Thump said:
>.< not really. I have to finish this essay today. I'm practically over (just need to write a conclusion that makes it sound like I totally know what I'm talking about and add in the quotations).

Funny thing is that I'm hypothyroidic but for the past two months I haven't been taking my hormones. Hypothyroidism does funny things to my moods. Thing is, I started taking them again two weeks ago and the panic comes on now X-D These pills are no Phentermine but they are supposed to make me happy and energetic...

*throws her coffee cup across the cafe* Argh!

*cough* Where was I? I'm feeling a little better now actually... guess there is something to sharing... thanks soccer mom You're my hero.
That thread about "are raisins racist" or whatever helped a little too. Wish I could post in the TIO X-D

What gets me relaxed? a nice big A written on my papers, vacation, Babylon 5, ice cream (hence those 60lbs gained two years ago >.<), sex... None of which are available at this time (especially the sex *Sigh*)

I think, I figured what gets you relaxed at this moment...writing

It seems to be soothing, and helping you right now.

Foinah · Feb 13, 2007

Thump said:
sex... None of which are available at this time (especially the sex *Sigh*)

ummm....sex is always available - maybe not with someone else, but.... :Shrug:

Hope your stress went away and the anxiety ebbed. I never dealt well with stress. I self-medicated with chocolate, booze, cake, booze, ciggies, more chocolate and compulsive hair brushing.

hmmm...maybe that's why I had to be cut out of my house and am now toothless and bald and I live in a van, under a bridge, down by the river....

Cheer up

you could be like me!

Thump · Feb 13, 2007

truelyana said:
I think, I figured what gets you relaxed at this moment...writing

It seems to be soothing, and helping you right now.

d'oh! I think you're at least a bit right (although the kittens were a big help). Could I be a more stereotypical writer?

Butterflies lasted all the way to 8 pm last night. Woke up this morning feeling happy and relaxed. I'm an emotional mess aren't I? X-D

ritinrider · Feb 13, 2007

Thump said:
Butterflies lasted all the way to 8 pm last night. Woke up this morning feeling happy and relaxed. I'm an emotional mess aren't I? X-D

Naw you're not an emotional mess, you're human.

Glad you woke up feeling happy and relaxed this morning. Hope those feelings stay with you all day.

Have a good day. :Hug2:

Little Red Barn · Feb 13, 2007

Thump--

lfraser · Feb 13, 2007

Thump said:
Funny thing is that I'm hypothyroidic but for the past two months I haven't been taking my hormones. Hypothyroidism does funny things to my moods. Thing is, I started taking them again two weeks ago and the panic comes on now X-D These pills are no Phentermine but they are supposed to make me happy and energetic...

OK, now I'm going to lecture you here, but please listen.

I am hypothyroid. I have a disease called Hashimoto's Hypothyroiditis. It's an autoimmune disease, and it destroys the thyroid.

I went undiagnosed for about twenty years. It was a nightmare of panic attacks, depression, sleeplessness and inability to concentrate. I now take thyroid pills, and while my thyroid level is never completely under control, it's better. I can function very well now.

It takes several weeks before the thyroid pills will get you back to normal levels. You can't take a holiday from them and expect to feel well.

You should be taking your medication all the time. There is no excuse not to. You have a condition that needs to be attended to as carefully as would diabetes. The consequences of not taking your medication could be severe.

You know this. You know perfectly well that your thyroid levels have a lot to do with how you're feeling right now. So take your medication. Take care of yourself.

Soccer Mom · Feb 13, 2007

I had no idea the thyroid condition could cause panic attacks.

:

okes Thump::

Take your meds. I'm in Mommy mode now, which means I'll hound you mercilously!

But in a nice way.

lfraser · Feb 13, 2007

Honestly, you will feel better if you take care of yourself.

The thyroid affects so many things. I once neglected to pack my synthroid for a five day holiday and felt absolutely dreadful by the fourth day.

Thump · Feb 15, 2007

good ol' synthroid...

I know I should take my meds but I tend to forget. And when I run out in winter I really don't feel like going to the pharmacy and getting more. Nothing more unpleasant than having your nose hairs freeze >.<

Oh Canada!...

I have just been feeling so much better the past couple of months. I've been taking ballroom dancing lesson and walking at least 30 mins a day. I suppose part of me hoped that it helped my metabolism and made the pills less necessary :| prolly not the cleverest thing but one can hope

I remember this sort of panic attack happening really often before I was diagnosed. I'd forgotten about it until this week. All this considered, I think maybe it's why I failed to get my Ecology certificate. It was depression time then, one pot of Ben & Jerry's every evening in front of the PC.

You have no idea how much I crave one but I'm forcing myself, I haven't had any ice cream in months. My fave food >.< ! Seems like every time I go to the doc I have to give up something *sigh*

PeeDee · Feb 15, 2007

If you eat ice cream and these Mommy Mode-ers find out, they're going to beat me very hard with sticks and throw me in a big cold river.

Which you don't want to happen.

Right?

Of course not.

So stay good.

Thump · Feb 15, 2007

That ice cream is sounding mighty tempting

lfraser · Feb 17, 2007

Thump said:
That ice cream is sounding mighty tempting

Yes, do go ahead.

PeeDee · Feb 17, 2007

You'll all be such a comfort to me in my old age...

lfraser · Feb 17, 2007

PeeDee said:
You'll all be such a comfort to me in my old age...

Nope. I'll be gone before you will.

Chumplet · Feb 17, 2007

I get those fluttery feelings of impending doom on occasion. Usually, it's just PMS. Or menopause.

PeeDee · Feb 17, 2007

Usually, it's just my Spider Sense going off.

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