Bigger and Fresher?

I'm guessing: more of a hook? Something different for the reader, like voice or setting? But remember,though, this is just one agent's take on your partial.

Toni1953 said:

An agent recently told me that there was a lot about my first 100 pages he liked, but he would have liked to have seen a "bigger, fresher start".

Does that mean more outrageous? The novel is a paranormal mystery involving werewolves, witches and vampires. Just curious before I start rewriting.

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"Bigger" sounds like either more action, or larger stakes. "Fresher" sounds like he wants something good, but that he hasn't seen before.

Toni1953 said:

An agent recently told me that there was a lot about my first 100 pages he liked, but he would have liked to have seen a "bigger, fresher start".

Does that mean more outrageous? The novel is a paranormal mystery involving werewolves, witches and vampires. Just curious before I start rewriting.

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Did he ask you to rewrite, revise, or send him something different? Make changes and run it by him again? Or was it more of a pleasant, "Sorry, this isn't for me because ..." sort of thing?

Don't revise for a single agent unless you're very sure that agent is interested in representing you.

That's funny. "Bigger" was also a word an editor used in a conversation with me last week. She simply meant: make more stuff happen.

"Fresher"? I assume that means that the tropes you're using have been used before? Or the agents has seen the kinds of characters you're using before?

Good luck with the rewrite!

You're competing with the other urban fantasies that are out there now. Have a look at how they open.

CheshireCat said:

Don't revise for a single agent unless you're very sure that agent is interested in representing you.

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Not necessarily. I had a few agents making different suggestions, without offers at first, and I took what I thought would make the book better and rewrote it. Not major revisions, just minor tweaks here and there. It worked out.

Rewrite

I think Will has it. There really aren't any code words here. "Bigger" means more exciting, grander scale, larger stakes, pretty much all the same thing. "Fresher" means what you originally wrote wasn't fresh, it was, in the agent's eyes, stale. He'd seen it before.

As for rewriting, the time to rewrite is when a light comes on and you agree with what an agent or editor says.

What's your opening line?

Hey! I read your excerpt in SYW!

Sorry I didn't comment (it seemed everything had already been covered) -- but I enjoyed it. Good luck with the agent!

Sweet -- congrats! Good luck with the full request!

(Guess it says something about your first line, that I remembered reading your chapter just from that. )

Perhaps you could write an alternate beginning and see how that's received. Obviously your actual writing is good, so you're halfway there. You've got a good opening line(in my opinion) all you have to do know is make the stakes a whole lot higher. Hurl your main character into the fire

Toni1953 said:

it's enough to make one want to tear their hair out, but i dont' look good bald.

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No! Britney Spears bald is bad enough.
I love your opening line. I haven't read your excerpt in SYW. Just a thought: the partials you're sending must be good for the agents to request fulls, so it sounds like you're almost there. And you have another agent wanting the full now. How many agents have passed on the full so far?

Regular everyday people seem to like the ms - agents don't fall in love with it.
it's enough to make one want to tear their hair out, but i dont' look good bald.


I've read your original post and replies to it. If an agent returns your submission and says such generic things as <fresher, bigger, re-write I'll be willing to take a look at it again...etc> -- move on to the next agent.

Even if you could figure out what they meant (and chances are you won't) by the time you re-wrote and re-submitted he would have long forgotten about you, would have moved on and/or hired a new assistant who'd not know you from adam and you'd get a pre-printed meaningless slip.

But if the agent actually gives your specific input -- which means he will essentially return your material rigorously edited and will give you a DEADLINE by which to re-submit, and asks you to call him to report on your progress (most improbable scenario) then it's time to re-write and re-submit.

There is nothing wrong with your opening line/hook. Move on and find an agent whose eyes are not as tired as this one.'s.

Conversely, if it still bothers you that much that he/she said <fresher, bigger> then find in you story as many elements as you can that are UNIQUE - meaning no one in your genre has done them before (which means you're reading your genre and are up on what's new, what's coming and what's stale). If you can do that, you're way ahead of the game. Then use those elements to pitch your novel.

If you can't do it, then continue searching for an agent who'll like your writing style and your characters since plot would be indeed <not-fresh>. Best regards.