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Serenity
01-30-2007, 09:30 PM
Just 'cause I can, and I think we could all use it right now, here's a bit of humor presented to you on behalf of one of the first graders I teach.

I have three boys who are always together. Snack, play, work, whatever. They love to bicker and all try to be the boss at the same time. It's actually quite humorous to watch, because no matter who does what, they always end up together.

I was holding a group meeting with all of my kids and pointing out the benefits of teamwork, good sportsmanship, etc. And I refered to these three boys as my 'Three Musketeers'. And immediately got this response from the one first grader: "I'm not chocolate!"

Any other funny stories to tell?

Soccer Mom
01-30-2007, 09:50 PM
My six year old loves to dress up in costumes. He put on his lion costume the other day and jumped out at me from around the corner. Since he'd been hiding there giggling for a good five minutes, I wasn't too shocked, but I jumped and feigned fear. He lifted his mask and whispered, "It's okay. It's just me in a costume." Then dropped the mask back into place and began growling again.

Maryn
01-30-2007, 10:23 PM
Our daughter was about five when she asked, “How many stars are there?”

Looking up at the clear night skies, I said, “Nobody knows for sure. We can see hundreds, and telescopes can see thousands, but there are probably millions up there that can’t be seen by the human eye.”

I’d been quite satisfied with my answer, until she remarked, “I bet gorillas can see them.”

Maryn, who remembers this well

Serenity
01-30-2007, 10:31 PM
Maryn, that sounds like another experience I've had. I can't remember if I've told this one here, something tells me that I may have. (And I'm sure Chaos will know, as I repeat enough stories to her that I know the 'look'.)

When I was teaching three year olds, I had time set aside in the morning for free play. One little boy was off by himself and had this elaborate display of legos going on. I observed for a little while, because he also had the running commentary going on as he was building. But still curious, I went over and asked what he was doing.

"I'm building a space ship."

"Wow, that's cool! Are you going to visit the moon?"

"No, I'm going to the sun." (This stops me a moment.)

"Well, if you go to the sun, won't you be hot?"

(He gives me one of those 'duh'-you're-such-an-idiot-adult looks)

"I'll wear sunglasses."

Carrie in PA
01-30-2007, 10:32 PM
<small hijack> How'd your meeting go?

MidnightMuse
01-30-2007, 10:33 PM
I might have mentioned this one before, but . . .

One day my oldest sister was driving over to our Mom's house with her kids, and she smelled that telltale odor, then declared: "Oh dear, there's a dead skunk in the middle of the road."

To which my niece replied: "Who would put a dead skunk in the middle of the road?"

Serenity
01-30-2007, 10:38 PM
<small hijack> How'd your meeting go?

Check it out here (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1089310&postcount=660). :D /hijack LOL

Carrie in PA
01-30-2007, 10:42 PM
Check it out here (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1089310&postcount=660). :D /hijack LOL

D'oh! :D

Serenity
01-30-2007, 10:43 PM
Oooo... how about a few personal stories?

As something of a background, let me explain that my dad was a coal miner and I had two bachelor uncles who came over every weekend to watch football. There wasn't a word I hadn't heard by the age of three.

My dad is driving and I'm in the front seat (maybe three at the time, before the keep your child in the back of the car stuff- which I agree with, by the way) and we're going to pick up my mom from somewhere. We have to go around this big curve and my dad pipes up with "Oh no, Melissa! I missed the curve!" My reply: "Damn it!"

My uncle (one of the bachelor ones) decides one day to take me (age 5 at this time) and two of my cousins (both male) to the Pittsburgh Zoo. Anyone who has ever been there knows that finding the dang entrance is tricky at best, and that's when you know what you're doing. My uncle didn't. So, after driving around for a few hours I pipe up with: "Well, where the hell is it, Uncle Johnny?" (Mind you, my uncle had an infamous temper sometimes!)

I'll tell more later on, right now, I have to go back to work. :D

Carrie in PA
01-30-2007, 10:45 PM
When my son was about 6, he was messing with his Legos and it just was NOT going the way he wanted. I heard this faint, "Dammit!"

I said, "WHAT did you say?!"

His reply? "What do you think I said?"

Yes, he's a Mini-me. :roll:

jennifer75
01-30-2007, 10:51 PM
When my son was about 6, he was messing with his Legos and it just was NOT going the way he wanted. I heard this faint, "Dammit!"

I said, "WHAT did you say?!"

His reply? "What do you think I said?"

Yes, he's a Mini-me. :roll:


Don't make me laugh while my boss is walking by.

Gravity
01-31-2007, 12:05 AM
When our oldest son was four, one morning he and my wife and I were having a late breakfast. I had the paper folded next to my plate when a story caught my eye.

"Hey, Barb," says I. "There's a story here about highway safety. It says someone in this country is run over by a car every twenty minutes."

"Huh," says dear wife (engrossed in her own reading).

A moment later my little boy looks up at me from his Cream of Wheat and says, completely earnest, "I'll bet he's getting tired of it by now."

Meerkat
01-31-2007, 12:20 AM
When my son was about four or five, I was picking him up from daycare one afternoon, when he announced that in a few years I could just pick him up at Fort Belvoir every afternoon, because he would be a soldier there.

Silver King
01-31-2007, 12:37 AM
When my oldest boy was about eight, we were having dinner when he asked his mom why she made funny noises late at night.

"What noises?" she said.

"You know what I mean," he said, and then launched into a perfect rendition of his mother moaning during her happiest moments.

A hush fell over the table. She looked at me for help. I couldn't take my eyes off the mashed potatoes.

"Well?" he said.

She told him those were the noises she made while she was dreaming.

Southern_girl29
01-31-2007, 01:00 AM
Back at Christmas, my daughter who is three was talking about our dog who had died over the summer. She said she missed him. I told her he was doing fine and that he was in Heaven with God. She said, "And with Baby Jesus and Murray."

I said, "Who's Murray?"

She said, "You know, Baby Jesus' Mommy." LOL.

The other night, she looked at me and said, "Brayden and Luke (baby at babysitter and younger cousin, respectively) have wing-wings. They stick out."

I thought for a moment and said, "Do you mean wee-wees?"

She nodded and said, "Boys have them. I saw them when they were getting their diaper changed. Their wee-wees are little. Daddy's is great big." LOL.

I told my husband this and he freaked out. He won't even come out of the bathroom now in just his underwear. He's dressed from head to foot. LOL.

Meerkat
01-31-2007, 01:18 AM
Wow, this thread is racking up the rep points though! Okay--okay, if you insist, here's another. When my son was about three, he was telling me about all the salt they put in the ocean...

they?

"Wait a minute, son.... Who put all that salt in the ocean?" says I.

He thought a moment about the magnitude of the task, and decided: "Two bad guys."

Serenity
01-31-2007, 05:26 AM
My little cousin had a few when he was a pre-schooler too. He called the TIE-fighters from Star Wars 'typewriters' and Chip and Dale became Chip and Dip.

jennifer75
01-31-2007, 06:21 AM
I might have mentioned this one before, but . . .

One day my oldest sister was driving over to our Mom's house with her kids, and she smelled that telltale odor, then declared: "Oh dear, there's a dead skunk in the middle of the road."

To which my niece replied: "Who would put a dead skunk in the middle of the road?"


that's cute. you got an end-of-day-and-ive-got-a-headache chuckle out of me. thanks.

jennifer75
01-31-2007, 06:22 AM
My 4 year old has "friends" now. You know, the ones over there in the corner only he can see? Yea. I almost don't know how to react. He tells me their names, none of which are schoomates names. So I'm clueless.

K1P1
01-31-2007, 06:31 AM
When my daughter was three or four, we were talking about the different nicknames people had for her.

I asked her, "What does Daddy call you?"
"Little monkey!"
"What does Jack [a neighbor] call you?"
"Smiley!"
"What does Mommy call you?"
"Come 'ere!"

ChaosTitan
01-31-2007, 09:09 AM
:ROFL:

I'm not around kids on a daily basis (good for my sanity and their general health), so I have no stories to contribute.

But keep 'em coming, these are funny!

tlblack
01-31-2007, 09:35 AM
When my son was 4 years old I would hear him singing occasionally. I will never forget his version of this song: (He was bouncing from side to side and his head bobbing as he sang it in his little southern accent)


I kin mash a tater
I kin do da twiss
Tell me bebee
Do ya yike it yike dis?
Tell meeeeeeee
Tell meeeeeeeee
Tell meeeeeeeeee
Do ya yuv me?
Do ya yuv me?
Do ya yuv me?
Do ya yuv me?
Do ya yuv me?
Do ya yuv me?
Nooooooow that IIIIIIII kin daaaaaance
Watch me now!

K1P1
01-31-2007, 03:15 PM
One of my kids spent all of December waiting for "Santa Closet" to come.

Thanks to the older one we still use the "mote retrol" to change channels on the television.

And thanks to the younger one we all have difficulty saying "Thomas Jefferson" in public, rather than "Thomas Jesserfun."

Maryn
01-31-2007, 05:51 PM
Our son was three or four when he took "Tiny Tots Swim" at the JCC. Soon after, we allowed our membership to lapse, so he didn't see the kids from his swimming lessons again until he started kindergarten.

He remembered them, though. Two mothers asked me what he was talking about when he insisted he knew their kids from Tater Tots.

(For those outside the US, these are Tater Tots (http://www.bluegoomba.com/society/purdue_tater_tots.jpg).)

Maryn, whose Tater Tot is Twenty

Soccer Mom
01-31-2007, 07:10 PM
When my youngest was still a wee un, all large gray animals were considered "Effants" (Elephant in three year old speak). I tried teaching him the names of some of the others.

My son points to a picture: "Effant"

Me: Actually honey, it's a rhino. Can you say rhinoceros?

Him: rhinoferferf.

Me: close. rhinoceros.

Him: rhinoferferf.

Me: (slowly) rhinoceros.

Him: (narrows eyes) Effant.

Southern_girl29
01-31-2007, 07:32 PM
My 4 year old has "friends" now. You know, the ones over there in the corner only he can see? Yea. I almost don't know how to react. He tells me their names, none of which are schoomates names. So I'm clueless.

We have the friends, too, except in my three year old's case, it's an imaginary sister. Her name is Cally. Cally also has a brother, whose name is "Cha Cha Buddy-O," but he isn't Tessa's brother. Figure that one out. Cally has done, said and been just about everything there is to do in this world or everything a three-year-old wishes she could say, do or go