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kristie911
01-29-2007, 11:45 PM
My divorce was final today at 1pm! I should be so excited...so why don't I? I've waited for 6 months for this day...and I feel like crap.

Ken Schneider
01-29-2007, 11:47 PM
'Cause maybe you still love 'um, in a way?

All the time and effort you put into the relationship was a waste, now?

I don't know, but I hope you start feeling better.

Ken

Stew21
01-29-2007, 11:47 PM
congrats! The day my divorce was final from my first husband, I met my dad at the VFW and had a beer with him. It was a relief, and I was glad it was over, however, part of me still felt a bit like you do now. Took me a long time to realize that it was because I felt like some kind of failure. I was wrong about that. The marriage was a failure, I wasn't. Hugs and congrats on taking a step forward!

Soccer Mom
01-29-2007, 11:51 PM
Because it's still sad. You loved him once enough to marry him. The sense of relief will come. ::hugs::

TsukiRyoko
01-29-2007, 11:53 PM
It'll pass. It's probably just the realization that a big part of your life has changed dramatically. (You're single!) It'll pass and you'll feel much better soon.

Shadow_Ferret
01-29-2007, 11:57 PM
Maybe it's just fear.

I know I'd be dancing and singing and partying 'til the cows came home if I ever got a divorce.

SpookyWriter
01-29-2007, 11:59 PM
I don't have any pearls of wisdom that will make you feel better. Divorce is difficult to go through. I do hope you can think beyond today and how much you have to live for...

Have a cocktail or two later with friends or family or both.

SpookyWriter
01-30-2007, 12:00 AM
Maybe it's just fear.

I know I'd be dancing and singing and partying 'til the cows came home if I ever got a divorce.Just wait until your wife finds out about the mad cow. It may come sooner than you think. :D

TsukiRyoko
01-30-2007, 12:00 AM
Have a cocktail or two later with friends or family or both. And don't forget to sneak me one out the back door. My fake ID was taken away from me.

Maryn
01-30-2007, 02:12 AM
I'm guessing it's regret for what might have been but wasn't. But you know, older and wiser is a real good way for a woman to be. Welcome! (Note that I said older, not old, okay?)

Maryn, with a hug and an offer to come over for dinner

aadams73
01-30-2007, 03:24 AM
{{{{Kristie}}}} and congrats. I felt the same way after I divorced. I was sure I'd be really excited but I felt flat and relieved. Divorce is no fun even when you're the one who wants it.

It was the right thing to do--and I'm glad I did--but it takes time to process it mentally.

Susie
01-30-2007, 03:35 AM
Congrats, Kristie and so hope the future is bright for you. You deserve it! :Hug2: Sorry you feel down, but bet you'll get over that soon.

JDCrayne
01-30-2007, 03:35 AM
My divorce was final today at 1pm! I should be so excited...so why don't I? I've waited for 6 months for this day...and I feel like crap.

That's normal, Kristie. My first marriage was four years long, then we were separated for a year, and it took another year for the divorce (California law
was different then). When I got the final decree I still moped around and felt teary-eyed for a couple of days. It's because a chapter in your life has finally, irevocably, closed. Don't worry, just move on. I married again three years later, and have now been happily wed to the same guy for 34 years.

Unique
01-30-2007, 03:37 AM
My divorce was final today at 1pm! I should be so excited...so why don't I? I've waited for 6 months for this day...and I feel like crap.

you feel like crap because you're sitting in front of a computer instead of


out celebrating wildly


Celebrate - that's the ticket. I plan to throw a party. :D

KimJo
01-30-2007, 04:16 AM
Kristie, I'm so happy for you... and sad for you because you're sad. Take time to let yourself feel however you need to feel, and take good care of yourself.
Hugs.

September skies
01-30-2007, 04:18 AM
:Hug2:

readlorey
01-30-2007, 04:42 AM
I was the same way with both of mine. It's like a grieving period. It will get better.

ritinrider
01-30-2007, 06:08 AM
:Hug2: hugs for kristie :Hug2:

Shwebb
01-30-2007, 07:05 AM
Yep. It's kinda like having a funeral, ain't it?

For me, even though my first marriage didn't last but two years (because I was a gullible, naive girl who wised up fast--especially when I found out he'd been cheating on me from before we were engaged) the marriage itself takes on it's own entity, just like a person.

And it's hard to see that dream die. Even though you know it's the best thing. Even though your now-ex is a low-life, cheating, lying sonofabitch. Still hurts like hell. Heck, when I tried to leave my ex-husband (aka as The Creature) he held me at gunpoint until the sheriff's deputies arrived. And still it hurt terribly to go through my divorce.

So, celebrate and acknowledge the ambivalence. Acknowledge that there were times that were good, and grieve for what should have been. But feel the relief that comes with knowing you are mostly free of him.

We all see the gold in you, Kristie. And if you want a metaphorical burial of your marriage, then we'll all meet you at the Dead Thread!

Jean Marie
01-30-2007, 07:50 AM
Hang in there, Kristie. Haven't been where you are, but, I've had break-ups. And I'm guessing what you're feeling is pretty normal. It's almost anti-climatic, you know. A combo of sadness and relief.

It will pass :Hug2:

K1P1
01-30-2007, 08:17 AM
Take a deep breath, and then step off into the rest of your life!

Kevin Yarbrough
01-30-2007, 09:51 PM
Like people said, a chapter of your life is now over and you look back and see that it was a waste of paper. Years of your life is gone and can't be recalled.

Plus, you are now back in the singles world and it sucks big ones. There aren't that many good people left anymore and trying to find one blows. I was lucky but I still had a whole crapload full of bad ones before I met Angie.

You will get on, trust me I know.