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PeeDee
01-23-2007, 07:15 PM
Right. So. Last night, I finished the first episode of my robot serial project that I've been working on. Each episode has to be a minimum of 15,000 words. No problem.

I hit 12,000 words on the first episode...and was done! My brain went into "wrap it up" mode and was tidying it away, leaving me 3,000 words short! So, I stopped and struggled with it.

It was a pain in the neck, but I managed to find another couple of scenes that were interesting and useful and cool, and writing them got me over the 15,000 word mark. Go me!

...Except...

...Except, ten minutes after I finish writing the first episode....My muse suddenly comes up with a big storyline for this episode. It weaves in and out of the current scenes, and it makes it a really cool and exciting first episode, and it's really good, and not only that but it'll make it twice as long (which isn't a problem; the 15k is a minimum).

GARRRR!! Why didn't my muse do this BEFORE I struggled to wrap up the episode?

So, that said, I'm offering my muse for sale, or lease if you want. She's got a fair number of miles on her and she tends to stare at things a little sideways, but maybe you can use her.

All yours.

*stomp stomp stomp stomp SLAM*

Stew21
01-23-2007, 07:17 PM
I think mine jumped ship and swam ashore, is living it up with some drunk sailors on a nearby beach.
Can I borrow your muse just long enough to send her after mine and drag her back?

Thanks.

PeeDee
01-23-2007, 07:18 PM
All yours. No hurry to send her back. I'll just do some useful writing while she's gone.

A. Hamilton
01-23-2007, 07:21 PM
Perhaps we could just have a muse exchange, hmm?
I think maybe mine was on exchange yesterday, cause the one whispering in my ear was speaking some foreign talk and my WIP looked like nothing I've ever done before. (jury's still out whether that's a good or bad thing)

PeeDee
01-23-2007, 07:24 PM
Perhaps we could just have a muse exchange, hmm?
I think maybe mine was on exchange yesterday, cause the one whispering in my ear was speaking some foreign talk and my WIP looked like nothing I've ever done before. (jury's still out whether that's a good or bad thing)

"Tell me what to write, Muse..."

"Okay! High five! I am thinking this book is you are looking for a pretty woman, for five dollar, yes?"

"What? Good lord, no. I need to know if Steven pulls the knife on Rachael."

"She is good for five dolar, very clean, no? You are to asking me if she is worth two chickens?"

"Would you LEAVE?"

Stew21
01-23-2007, 07:39 PM
I'm struggling to get through this part of my current novel in progress, and last night out of the blue, muse yells from land, "hey what about the girl locked in the trunk of the car?" and I think..."there's no girl locked in the trunk of the car! There's one female in the whole gd book - besides the MC's mom. WTF are you talking about you drunk muse?"

On second thought, she can stay on the island.

PeeDee
01-23-2007, 07:40 PM
Maybe you should check the trunk and make sure? THAT would certainly help move the manuscript along. suddenly, there's a girl in the trunk...!

Stew21
01-23-2007, 07:42 PM
no kidding...she might be right! HOly crap, it's not the book I thought it was!

Stew21
01-23-2007, 07:46 PM
Wonder what Ernest Hemingway's ghost will have to say about that....

PeeDee
01-23-2007, 07:48 PM
"He opened the trunk. The girl was there."

That's what he would have said. :)

Stew21
01-23-2007, 07:49 PM
His ghost is sort of hanging around my MC, so Ernest might be the one to say, "hey buddy, check the trunk. this reminds me of the time I went to Lyon with Scott."

Shadow_Ferret
01-23-2007, 07:52 PM
Ew. Buy PeeDee's muse? I've seen it. It picks it's nose. No thanks.

roach
01-23-2007, 08:27 PM
What's the going rate for a muse these days? The only data point I have is from The Muse (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0164108/) and she was pretty expensive. Right now all I have is whatever funds are in the savings account (aka whatever change I find lying around the house).

A. Hamilton
01-23-2007, 08:29 PM
Pay the muse? Oh darn, I suppose I was supposed to feed her too...

PeeDee
01-23-2007, 08:30 PM
Ew. Buy PeeDee's muse? I've seen it. It picks it's nose. No thanks.

It may pick its nose, but it's pretty okay to look at.

http://images.ctv.ca/archives/CTVShows/img2/Programs/240/aishatyler_240.jpg

But if you're not interested.........

Shadow_Ferret
01-23-2007, 08:40 PM
Nah. There's something wrong with her neck. She can't keep her head up.

Kate Thornton
01-23-2007, 08:54 PM
King of the Board (sung for PeeDee)

Muse for sale or rent
Coffee to write, 50 cent
No jobs, contracts or checks
Ain't got no rejects yet
Ah, but two hours of typing hard
Gets a chance at the AW board
It's mise en scene by no means
King of the Board!

PeeDee
01-23-2007, 08:57 PM
Dear Kate,

Will you marry me?

Yours,
Pete

:D

Kate Thornton
01-23-2007, 08:58 PM
LOL! PeeDee, we're both already married! But I'll take a quick kiss.

MidnightMuse
01-23-2007, 09:18 PM
I'd trade Muses with you, but I prefer boy ones.

Well, Men - technically. I'm not a sicko or 'nuthin.

And he's gotta be a drinker.

The Lady
01-23-2007, 09:26 PM
My muse will over ever tell me half the idea at a time. I leave the computer distraught and bewildered by a pile of mindless nonsense. Sometime the next day she'll explain what she really meant. I swear I can hear her laugh. I like her. She has great contacts but she's nasty to first drafts.

I

MidnightMuse
01-23-2007, 09:30 PM
Here, you can borrow him for a week - but I want him back.

http://www.mymidnightmuse.com/mymuse.jpg

He gets a little lonely at night, and likes to spoon.

PeeDee
01-23-2007, 09:30 PM
My muse is Columbo. I only dream that it's Aisha Tyler. In reality, it's not.

http://cheesegod.com/4/columbo.jpeg

Shadow_Ferret
01-23-2007, 09:50 PM
My muse is Quasimodo. We talked about this.

Or was Quasimodo my internal editor?

http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/literature/laureates/1959/quasimodo.jpg

Oops. Wrong Quasi.

Stew21
01-23-2007, 09:55 PM
My muse just fell down on the beach, stupid drunk, singing, "son of a son of a sailor"....good Lord.

roach
01-23-2007, 11:31 PM
Reading about all these muses is making me think I really don't need one at the moment. They seem to be more trouble than they're worth. :D

PeeDee
01-23-2007, 11:37 PM
Reading about all these muses is making me think I really don't need one at the moment. They seem to be more trouble than they're worth. :D

They're around trying to make art, and I'm busy trying to tell stories. Damn muses. I need a can of RAID...

kristie911
01-24-2007, 12:36 AM
RAID doesn't work, PeeDee. I sprayed a whole can at my muse once, and it only pissed her off.

Stew21
01-24-2007, 12:46 AM
RAID doesn't work...but every now and then I like to take the garden hose to mine.

PeeDee
01-24-2007, 12:47 AM
If I write enough free verse angsty poetry, then I bet my muse would leave. That'll work!

Stew21
01-24-2007, 12:50 AM
not free verse...angsty, rhymy, stanza poetry. think highschool girl with bad crush.but you're only allowed to rhyme words like.

Now/How/Bow or she/be/me/see

how could she
was it not to be
she doesn't love me
i just don't see

what do I do now?
i want to move on but how?


good luck with that.

PeeDee
01-24-2007, 12:51 AM
Dear Trish,

you just made my eyes bleed out of my skull.
I'm going to go die.
And listen to Nirvana.
Also, I worship Satan.

Yours in plaid,
Pete

Stew21
01-24-2007, 12:53 AM
Dear Trish,

you just made my eyes bleed out of my skull.
I'm going to go die.
And listen to Nirvana.
Also, I worship Satan.

Yours in plaid,
Pete

See! It works! If it did that to you, imagine what it would do to your muse. Mine just did another shot of rum and flipped me off.

Jamesaritchie
01-24-2007, 12:54 AM
It may pick its nose, but it's pretty okay to look at.

http://images.ctv.ca/archives/CTVShows/img2/Programs/240/aishatyler_240.jpg

But if you're not interested.........

Wanna trade? http://hometown.aol.com/rufflife3628127/images/ugly%20girl.jpg

Stew21
01-24-2007, 12:57 AM
Damn you Jamesaritchie! Talk about eyes bleeding...

Trish sits on the floor gently rocking back and forth repeating, "don't click the links. don't click the links"

MidnightMuse
01-24-2007, 01:13 AM
Wanna trade? http://hometown.aol.com/rufflife3628127/images/ugly%20girl.jpg

Well that does it! I'm not only keeping my Muse, he and I are gonna go spoon.

Right NOW!

*tries to keep from hurling those lovely lunch eggrolls*

jodiodi
01-24-2007, 02:34 AM
I don't think I have a muse. I do have a character harem where all the boys are kept in luxury. I think at last count there were 53 of them. The females share a country house on the weekends on the coast or the one in the mountains. They come by now and then and pick out some of the harem-boys and go ... somewhere and when they come back, they all sit down and tell me what they did and I write it down and, voila! A new story.

kristie911
01-24-2007, 02:34 AM
Wanna trade? http://hometown.aol.com/rufflife3628127/images/ugly%20girl.jpg

Damn you, James! Let my muse go! I've been looking for her all over and all along you had her! Not fair. And not very nice either...

PeeDee
01-24-2007, 03:49 AM
Wanna trade? http://hometown.aol.com/rufflife3628127/images/ugly%20girl.jpg

Now THERE'S a muse. If you ever open a Tavern, James, she can haul the beer kegs for you, and any pigs you might have on the premesis, and she can scare the alcohole out of the drinks to make 'em straight.

But she won't need to be your bouncer, because I have this strange feeling that you will have remarkably little trouble with fighting customers.

Jamesaritchie
01-24-2007, 06:05 PM
Hey, don't put down my muse. At least when you have a muse like mine, writing is the ONLY thing on your mind.

"Hey, Sweetie, how about some wild monkey love?"

"Well, I'd love to, Honey, but I HAVE to finish this epic series first. Got a deadline you know. But just as soon as I pass Robert Jordon, we'll ah...uuurp."

Now that's incentive to write.

MidnightMuse
01-24-2007, 07:19 PM
*shudder*

That's incentive for celebacy.

Stew21
01-24-2007, 07:26 PM
ack. Muse did it to me again. Last night, another idea - THAT DOESNT FIT IN THIS BOOK! damn it! she's killin me. She needs AA or somethin. If I listen to her I am going to completely derail and not finish this book in pursuit of her "great ideas" CRAP!

Gonzo
01-24-2007, 07:43 PM
Trish is an unwanted muse, she used to live in a tree when her writer abandoned her because she was too old. When Muse Trust found her she was throwing acorns and assorted dried fruits at passing poets and running amok with a rolled up newspaper, whacking small children who asked, "why?" At Muse Trust we never put a healthy muse down, with your help and just 1/$2 a week we can make sure that she's fed, has a safe bed and is kept warm. Your sponsored muse won't write to you but she will send you pictures, here's one of her flying a bomber over Vietnam, another of her in the same plane over Dresden, here she is poisoning the water supply of a small African village. Muse Trust, we keep the mad ones as destructive as possible.

Stew21
01-24-2007, 07:58 PM
Trish is an unwanted muse, she used to live in a tree when her writer abandoned her because she was too old. When Muse Trust found her she was throwing acorns and assorted dried fruits at passing poets and running amok with a rolled up newspaper, whacking small children who asked, "why?" At Muse Trust we never put a healthy muse down, with your help and just 1/$2 a week we can make sure that she's fed, has a safe bed and is kept warm. Your sponsored muse won't write to you but she will send you pictures, here's one of her flying a bomber over Vietnam, another of her in the same plane over Dresden, here she is poisoning the water supply of a small African village. Muse Trust, we keep the mad ones as destructive as possible.:ROFL:

PeeDee
01-24-2007, 10:22 PM
Hey, don't put down my muse. At least when you have a muse like mine, writing is the ONLY thing on your mind.

"Hey, Sweetie, how about some wild monkey love?"

"Well, I'd love to, Honey, but I HAVE to finish this epic series first. Got a deadline you know. But just as soon as I pass Robert Jordon, we'll ah...uuurp."

Now that's incentive to write.

Upon closer inspection, I have discovered that my muse was not, in fact, Aisha Tyler at all. Upon discovering that she was wearing a mask, we have since learned that it was old Missus Struthers, who might have gotten away with it were it not for those meddling kids.

This is why people leave home to try and write. They're trying to ditch their muses so they can get some useful work done.

...

For those of you following my life chronicles with angst, you will be pleased and delighted to know that closely inspecting this new idea my muse gave me for my completed robot story is not, in fact, useful for the robot story at all. Instead, it'll fill out an otherwise shaky storyline that's eight or nine episodes down the road. So. That's okay.

I've told my muse to clear out her desk by the end of the day anyway, however.

Stew21
01-24-2007, 10:26 PM
Maybe you want to use the ideas my muse gave me that don't go in my story?
I'm afraid if I think on them too much I'll end up writing them and abandoning this one I set my goal on...ah hell.

Gabriel
01-25-2007, 01:27 AM
Right. So. Last night, I finished the first episode of my robot serial project that I've been working on. Each episode has to be a minimum of 15,000 words. No problem.

I hit 12,000 words on the first episode...and was done! My brain went into "wrap it up" mode and was tidying it away, leaving me 3,000 words short! So, I stopped and struggled with it.

It was a pain in the neck, but I managed to find another couple of scenes that were interesting and useful and cool, and writing them got me over the 15,000 word mark. Go me!

...Except...

...Except, ten minutes after I finish writing the first episode....My muse suddenly comes up with a big storyline for this episode. It weaves in and out of the current scenes, and it makes it a really cool and exciting first episode, and it's really good, and not only that but it'll make it twice as long (which isn't a problem; the 15k is a minimum).

GARRRR!! Why didn't my muse do this BEFORE I struggled to wrap up the episode?

So, that said, I'm offering my muse for sale, or lease if you want. She's got a fair number of miles on her and she tends to stare at things a little sideways, but maybe you can use her.

All yours.

*stomp stomp stomp stomp SLAM*

I'll give you a chicken and three bags of potatos.

PeeDee
01-25-2007, 01:27 AM
For Missus Struthers?

Are you out of your MIND?

She's worth way more than that! She hands me whole storylines. No, I would have to at least insist on a goat. And possibly a small boy to mend shoes.