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View Full Version : Alright all you sappy, creative, "hopeless romantic" writers...



Opty
01-22-2007, 11:02 AM
...put yer thinkin' caps on and help a brother out.

I need some suggestions for alternatives to the cliche "boy chases girl through airport terminal" ending to a rom/com, love story, comedy type thing.

I need the same basic "ticking clock" chase-type premise, just a more original location.

Location is what I'm mainly looking for, not the set up.

This is for a script rewrite, in case you're wondering. I've been brainstorming and I think I may have something decent, but I thought I'd pick the brains of my fellow writers.

So, here are the parameters: No airports, train stations, or bus terminals...unless you can put an original spin on them. Otherwise, what can you think of that has "never been seen before?"

Something original.

Thank you.

jbal
01-22-2007, 11:06 AM
But the girl is leaving? Where is she going, is it far away? The first thing that comes to mind is alien abduction, but that's probably not what you had in mind. People will remember forever a romantic comedy that ends that way though.

writerterri
01-22-2007, 11:12 AM
I'm seeing a big beautiful waterfall. No wait a water fountain... the Las Vegas dancing fountains!

They go separate ways in cabs and get stuck in traffic and one gets out... no.


One stands by the fountains and the other drives by in a cab after parting earlier. It's their song and the fountains are dancing. The other person gets out of the cab and they join for the song and dance by the dancing fountains. '


If you've never seen the dancing fountains you're missing out on a romantic scene.

Good luck, that's all I got.

dpaterso
01-22-2007, 11:59 AM
A below-ground aquarium gallery where the biggest shark in the tank keeps ramming the same spot till the glass cracks and water trickles out, but the couple don't know it.

A bob-sled run.

A Hell's Angels initiation gathering.

A balloon race, but his balloon snags on a church windvane and springs a leak.

A flooded office building sealed off by an AI supercomputer and populated by zombies.

-Derek

Opty
01-22-2007, 12:27 PM
A flooded office building sealed off by an AI supercomputer and populated by zombies.

LOL.

Um...no.

dclary
01-22-2007, 12:44 PM
Gotta admit, though, that'd be a friggin GREAT ending!

BottomlessCup
01-22-2007, 12:54 PM
Truck stop hitch-hiking, maybe?

Runaways do it a lot. They ask to use somebody's CB, then ask for a ride to wherever.

Some stops have hundreds of trucks in them. He knows she's in one of them -- he can hear her on the CB. He has to make his overtures over the CB, to the heckling of a bunch of truckers.

Not sure if the typical romcom girlie would put herself in such a situation, but I haven't seen it done before.

kikazaru
01-22-2007, 05:10 PM
I love this type of question, but it's hard when you don't know where they'd likely be for the situation to happen. I'm thinking it takes place in a city? How about glass elevators? She gets in, it's crowded and he can just see the the red coat that she is wearing and he uses the stairs. The elevator lets everyone off just as he's run himself to exhaustion down a zillion flights of stairs and he thinks he's got her, but when everyone gets out a group of women walk by wearing red as well (visiting choir? Mary Kay type sales reps?) and he can't find her in a sea of women.

A beach? She takes off on a crowded beach (maybe in a pant suit at first) and then removes it (gratutituous body shot here) to reveal amazing matching Victoria's secret underwear. The hero is looking for his woman in a sea of beautiful (and not so beautiful - perhaps there is also a pod (?) of sunbathing sea lions near by to contrast) bodies.

ritinrider
01-22-2007, 05:17 PM
A tornado? She's claustrophopic (can't spell, afraid of closed in places) and won't go into the cellar, despite family or friends urging her too. He's racing the funnel to get to her and get her in the cellar. I know not too many people are going to race into a tornado, but for the woman he loves? Maybe.

Sorry, that's all I've got, can you tell I live in OK?

eldragon
01-22-2007, 05:33 PM
Sorry, I can't contribute to a story that might employ as it's star hero, one of the guys from Nsync or Backstreet Boys.

dpaterso
01-22-2007, 05:39 PM
Wouldn't be 'cause you've got 'em tied up in your cellar, would it?

-Derek

preyer
01-22-2007, 05:40 PM
i really like cup's idea.

anyhooways, one of those new orleans funerals, dirges and all. lots of mourners and musicians to get in the way. hilarity ensues.

a nascar race. lots of horrible car wrecks. hilarity ensues. besides, what better way to save the damsel in distress than pushing her out of the way of the viagra and enzyte cars? (insert bad jokes at will.)

now, normally, maximum security prisons and trapped women don't mix very well. and this is no exception, however there you are. there's only one bus leaving... but is she leaving? riots, rape, shanks to the neck, hilarity, etc..

i've got to stop, i'm tearing up....

san_remo_ave
01-22-2007, 06:37 PM
If she's leaving what if he has to find her at ....

*a Cracker Barrell restaurant --every roadtrip necessitates at least one meal must be consumed at a CB out here... PLUS you can rent books on tape which is essential for the long roadtrip

*laundromat --she has to pick up her laundry before leaving town

*the gas station where she's fighting with the owner over the cost per gallon ("you rippin' me off??) and loading up on road trip munchies

*he has to chase down the airport shuttle --you know the kind that cost $29 and stop for 30 other passengers at it meanders from your house to the airport

Something less mundane??

eldragon
01-22-2007, 07:44 PM
Wouldn't be 'cause you've got 'em tied up in your cellar, would it?

-Derek

Not me! That would be my 18 year old daughter. She still refuses to believe that Lance Bass is gay.

As if she ever had a shot.

K1P1
01-22-2007, 08:25 PM
On the retail market floor at a knitting convention. Imagine several thousand mostly female shoppers, all wearing sweaters, shawls, scarves, clogging the aisles on the convention floor, which is filled with row after row of booths full of yarn, needles and sweaters, not to mention tote bags. Some of them have babies in strollers or on hips, there are a few toddlers, school age kids and teens, and just a few men. Lots of clumps of people talking and shopping, blocking the way. Imagine Christmas Eve shopping at the mall, mixed together with a meet-and-greet reception. There are security people at the doors taking tickets and checking for convention badges. It's laid out in a huge grid and any sight lines are constantly blocked by moving shoppers. The shoppers and the vendors range from Mennonites to NYC Stylistas, with everything in between.

As our hero tries to move quickly through the crowd, booth personnel keep trying to sell him things, stopping him to compliment him on the sweater he's wearing and to find out whether he made it himself.

I go to these things several times a year. There is absolutely nothing like it.

Bmwhtly
01-22-2007, 08:31 PM
How about this. She's walking through the city to "Away".

He's doing his best Popeye Doyle, free-running, chase through the city. The obvious way to do it would be to inter-cut smooth, dolly-shots of her carrying her bags and handheld footage of him. Probably with his panting dubbed over it.

Anyway, he's gaining on her.

She's about to cross the street, he catches sight of her. He screams her name, she hears and turn round. She can't see him in the crowd, but can't bring herself to turn her back on him. While she's looking for him, the lights change and a bus ploughs her down just as their eyes meet.

Too Cheesy?

Carrie in PA
01-22-2007, 08:38 PM
I go to these things several times a year. There is absolutely nothing like it.

Scrapbook Expos.

Same scenario. :D

maestrowork
01-22-2007, 08:43 PM
How can you only change the location and not the set up? Everything is related. If I say ocean liner, there has be a reason she's going on the ship...


Anyway.

Space Shuttle launching pad? (One of them is an astronaut)

Elevator (to the reception of her engagement party on the 34th floor).

Military recruitment office (she's going off to Iraq).

On to of a cliff....

An old boyfriend's yacht (heartbroken, she's going back to him).

A cruise ship. A yacht. (She's going to sail around the world)

Ski slope. She's going to disappear down the hill... catch her if you can.

Nicholas S.H.J.M Woodhouse
01-22-2007, 09:04 PM
a supermarket queue

Shadow_Ferret
01-22-2007, 09:20 PM
How about, she's running through the terminal and he's chasing her, relentlessly, like a machine -- think Terminator. He sees her upahead and there's an opening and he takes out a spear gun, shoots her in the ass and pulls her back.

Huh? Huh?

That has romance written all over it, don't it?

Stew21
01-22-2007, 09:31 PM
I like Bottomless Cup's answer. I think that's a good take on it.

dclary
01-22-2007, 10:51 PM
Oooooh!

Major 80s flashback!!!


Ok, so she's on the airplane.. and they're about to take off... and she looks out, and sees him next to his car, boombox in hands, held over his head, playing P. Gabriel's "In Your Eyes."

It's such a damn cheesy thing, she bursts into tears... and Grant gets so upset he starts screaming at her... and the stewardesses try to contain him, and he tells them to get their hands off him the damn dirty apes, so an Air Marshall beats the living snot out of them, but it's too late, an incident has happened, so they get kicked off the plane, and while Grant has his denouement with Wesley, Jessica runs out onto the tarmac to meet Shane, but the feds see her as an escaping prisoner and shoot her in the back 35 times.

Ok, need to work on the ending, but the rest of that is gold.

Bravo
01-22-2007, 11:02 PM
ding ding ding.

i think you have a winner spork.

honestly.

dclary's idea (except for the ending) keeps the feel of your script.

p.s. i have a couple more things ill email you about later.

NeuroFizz
01-22-2007, 11:13 PM
She's going on for her first-ever shift dancing in a gentleman's club, and he needs to stop her before she goes on. But, he doesn't know which club, and he doesn't have any "ones" in his wallet.

roach
01-23-2007, 12:01 AM
Sky diving. She's going on her first ever jump. He was supposed to go with her but chickened out. Now he has to tell her he loves her so he pays a crop duster to catch up with the plane, screws his courage to the sticking place and jumps just as she does. He free falls to catch up, tells her he loves her, their parachutes deploy and they float to the ground and a close up shot of The Kiss.

dclary
01-23-2007, 12:03 AM
Sky diving. She's going on her first ever jump. He was supposed to go with her but chickened out. Now he has to tell her he loves her so he pays a crop duster to catch up with the plane, screws his courage to the sticking place and jumps just as she does. He free falls to catch up, tells her he loves her, their parachutes deploy and they float to the ground and a close up shot of The Kiss.

At which point nanite assassin 'bots chew through the ropes of their chutes and they plunge to their deaths.

roach
01-23-2007, 12:04 AM
At which point nanite assassin 'bots chew through the ropes of their chutes and they plunge to their deaths.

Only to be resurrected in the sequel: Zombie* Love.



*Oh come on, is there any story that isn't made better by zombies?

Bravo
01-23-2007, 12:08 AM
At which point nanite assassin 'bots chew through the ropes of their chutes and they plunge to their deaths.

at which point im fully convinced to not read dclary's script.


:D






(kidding kidding, ill try to take a look at it)

dclary
01-23-2007, 12:13 AM
Don't knock yourself out. You couldn't possibly give better notes than Vig...

Bravo
01-23-2007, 12:14 AM
yeah, there's only so many ways to say: "this sucks".

TwentyFour
01-23-2007, 12:15 AM
Chasing a girl...time running out...sounds a lot like a terminal plot twist to that NSYNC's Lance Bass's old movie-"On the Line".


ON THE LINE:

A young man (Bass) meets a girl (Chriqui) on a train, only to spend the rest of the movie trying to reunite with her (one of the love-at-first-sight things), aided by his best friend (Fatone) in a quest of posters and signs that soon gains public notice. Will he ever find his soulmate?

Bravo
01-23-2007, 12:17 AM
http://s2.excoboard.com/forums/25052/user/256508/367820.jpg

i think spork and i might need some more pix to come to a better decision about this.

dpaterso
01-23-2007, 12:27 AM
I liked roach's parachute jump scenario, but what I'd really like to see is their discovering halfway down that one of them has a defective chute -- the pack opens and soup tins spill out or something -- followed by a touching act of self-sacrifice la Jack and Rose in Titanic.

-Derek

Chumplet
01-23-2007, 02:26 AM
My daughter told a hilarious story of how her class got split up in the streets of New York during a Memorial Day parade. Band members, bagpipes, floats, all getting in the way. At one point a policeman blocked a side street so they couldn't cross, and they saw the rest of the class across the street, but alas, they could not reach them!

Opty
01-23-2007, 03:02 AM
She's about to cross the street, he catches sight of her. He screams her name, she hears and turn round. She can't see him in the crowd, but can't bring herself to turn her back on him. While she's looking for him, the lights change and a bus ploughs her down just as their eyes meet.

Too Cheesy?

Already have a scene like that in the script.

No, I'm not kidding.

Opty
01-23-2007, 03:04 AM
Don't knock yourself out. You couldn't possibly give better notes than Vig...

I can.

dclary
01-23-2007, 03:16 AM
Already have a scene like that in the script.

No, I'm not kidding.

And too bad, too. She was a hottie.

JDCrayne
01-23-2007, 06:29 AM
So, here are the parameters: No airports, train stations, or bus terminals...unless you can put an original spin on them. Otherwise, what can you think of that has "never been seen before?"

Something original.

Thank you.


The city dump. Playing tag among discarded old appliances. He chases her, she avoids him, he lands splat in a big puddle of something awful. Her heart turns over and she realizes she loves him. They sit there, picking apple peelings off of each other. Ah, romance! (Well hell -- it is ORIGINAL.)

Bmwhtly
01-23-2007, 03:33 PM
*Oh come on, is there any story that isn't made better by zombies?No. No there isn't.

dpaterso
01-23-2007, 04:26 PM
CITIZEN ZOMBIE
CASAZOMBIE
THE ZOMBFATHER
GONE WITH THE ZOMBIE
ZOMBIE OF ARABIA
THE ZOMBIE OF OZ
ZOMBIE GRADUATE
ON THE ZOMBIEFRONT
ZOMBIE'S LIST
ZOMBIE-IN' IN THE RAIN

Rightfully hailed as movie classics before I've even finished writing them.

-Derek

preyer
01-23-2007, 05:20 PM
twelve angry zombies
the cincinnati zombie
zombie boulevard
double zombie indemnity
the maltese zombie
zombies of the lost ark
zombie rider
deep zombie throat

you know, you could squeeze about half a season out of this idea if you pitched it to saturday night live. why, i was just thinking the other day a funny skit would be a pro baseball pitcher on the mound during a big game and the announcer, definitely for the other team, starts spouting off about the guy's wife and aim, etc.. probably funnier in my mind.

anyway, i'm taking donations.

oh, yeah, settings. oktoberfest. boom. there ya go. you're welcome. remember me when you're handing out checks.

or better yet, bike week at sturgis.

if you can't derive a good getaway out of sturgis, i weep for you.

p.s. give me money. let's make this happen, folks! uncle preyer needs a new pair of everything.

Bmwhtly
01-23-2007, 05:31 PM
THE ZOMBIE OF OZ
I'd watch that.

dpaterso
01-23-2007, 11:38 PM
Who wouldn't want to see Toto pull the curtain open, only to have his head ripped off a second later?

preyer got me tittering with "12 Angry Zombies" -- vision of a dozen rotting zombies sitting motionless in a room for 90 minutes making "Uuuuuhhhnnn" noises. No, wait, that's TIO...

Anyone ever made a zombie romcom before?

-Derek

dclary
01-23-2007, 11:52 PM
When Harry Met Zombie.
Pretty Zombie.
The Princess Zombie.
Sleepless Zombies in Seattle.

Bmwhtly
01-24-2007, 12:23 AM
I'd quite like to see The Zombie Connection (with Gene hackman chasing a zombie all over the city)

Jaycinth
01-24-2007, 01:37 AM
Ok... now that I've ..Unhhhhhhh...gotten the zombies...unhhhhhhhhnnnhhh...out of my unghhhhhhh.... system:

She's a scientist. And she thinks he's done something he hasn't. So she's signed up to go on a Colony Ship to a new planet discovered in Orion. She's been vaccinated..tested etc and is in a germ free containment area waiting to be put into cold sleep for a trip across the galaxy that will last 189 years. He can see her, but he can't communicate with her, and he has to either get her out of there (almost impossible) or get himself cleared to go on the flight..(Meaning he'll have to sever all of his relationships here.)

Time is running out as the first batch of colonists have already been 'sleeped'........

Jaycinth
01-24-2007, 01:46 AM
"Diary of a Mad Zombie."
"An Inconvenient Zombie"
"The Scarlet Zombie"
"Wuthering Zombies"

and in anime.....
"Howl's Moving Zombie"
"Zombied Away"
"Poke'zombie...The Movie"
"Full Zombie Alchemist"
"Cowboy Zombiebop"
"Sailor Zombie"
"Trinity Zombie"
"Inuashzombie"

And on TV:
"Desperate Zombies"
"Gray's Zombies"
"Zombie or no Zombie"
"Seinzombie"
"I Love Zombie"
"Leave it to Zombie"
"American Zombie"
"Extreme Zombie: Graveyard Edition"
"Zombie Night Live"
"My Name is Zombie"

roach
01-24-2007, 02:17 AM
I feel vindicated on my pro-zombie stance! :D


"An Inconvenient Zombie"

That works on so many levels!