The reason that I'm the next American Idol, and everything, is that....you know, my voice just like unique? ANd it's not like anything that's out there rihgt now? ANd I really feel that last season, Chris Daughtrey opened a lot of doors for guys like me. I mean, I don't shave as much as he does, but I totally feel like we connected.
And It means a lot to me because my life hasn't been easy. I was born on a small barge in the Bayou swamps of Louisana, and then when my parents were both killed in a freak accident (head on collision with the bearded lady) I was raised by peas, and it wasn't easy. And then I discovered Baby Jesus and I was persecuted for my religious beliefs, as well as being born a poor black child, although my pappy told me I was white on my twenty-second birthday.
And....I'm sorry....I just get so emotional because I want this so bad. I've....I'm sorry....I've just always....wanted to sing and be a diva.....
And my boss told me that I have, like, a really great voice and he says that he loves it when I sing around the office, especially when I bend over cause he says my voice gets deeper and I totally love singing when everyone thinks I'm great because it's like, you know, it's like my singing is, like giving back, you know? Like I've endured all these hardships and like kept believing in Baby Jesus even when NASCAR didn't always pray to him before they started their race, I'm like Dale Earnheart, you know, I'm just...I'm there. I'm doing it. I'm unique.
Plus, I totally quit my job to come down here because I know I'm sooooooooo great a singer and there is no way anyone can refuse me. And even though I was born a poor black child raised by peas and became white shortly after being persecuted for my religious beliefs while supporting our troops in Iraq with my stars and stripes underwear, and I sing American songs like Toby Keith cause Toby Keith just understands these things sooooooo well and he just know s what's going on why I bet he's over there right now looking for those, those, whatever they ares, the people we're like looking for and stuff.
Okay. I'm going to go audition! Baby Jesus be with me!
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OMIGODTHEYSAIDICAN'TSING!!! THEY ARE SOOOOOOOO CRUEL AND THEY TOLD ME I WASN'T GOING TO BE A STAR AND NOW I WANT TO DIE I AM SO SAD BABY JESUS HAS LET ME DOWN I WANT TO GO HOME AND LISTEN TO ANGRY MUSIC OMIGODMYLIFEISOVER.
And It means a lot to me because my life hasn't been easy. I was born on a small barge in the Bayou swamps of Louisana, and then when my parents were both killed in a freak accident (head on collision with the bearded lady) I was raised by peas, and it wasn't easy. And then I discovered Baby Jesus and I was persecuted for my religious beliefs, as well as being born a poor black child, although my pappy told me I was white on my twenty-second birthday.
And....I'm sorry....I just get so emotional because I want this so bad. I've....I'm sorry....I've just always....wanted to sing and be a diva.....
And my boss told me that I have, like, a really great voice and he says that he loves it when I sing around the office, especially when I bend over cause he says my voice gets deeper and I totally love singing when everyone thinks I'm great because it's like, you know, it's like my singing is, like giving back, you know? Like I've endured all these hardships and like kept believing in Baby Jesus even when NASCAR didn't always pray to him before they started their race, I'm like Dale Earnheart, you know, I'm just...I'm there. I'm doing it. I'm unique.
Plus, I totally quit my job to come down here because I know I'm sooooooooo great a singer and there is no way anyone can refuse me. And even though I was born a poor black child raised by peas and became white shortly after being persecuted for my religious beliefs while supporting our troops in Iraq with my stars and stripes underwear, and I sing American songs like Toby Keith cause Toby Keith just understands these things sooooooo well and he just know s what's going on why I bet he's over there right now looking for those, those, whatever they ares, the people we're like looking for and stuff.
Okay. I'm going to go audition! Baby Jesus be with me!
...
..
.
.
..
...
OMIGODTHEYSAIDICAN'TSING!!! THEY ARE SOOOOOOOO CRUEL AND THEY TOLD ME I WASN'T GOING TO BE A STAR AND NOW I WANT TO DIE I AM SO SAD BABY JESUS HAS LET ME DOWN I WANT TO GO HOME AND LISTEN TO ANGRY MUSIC OMIGODMYLIFEISOVER.